CHAPTER 2 ½

Ruby Beautiful and the Emmas

Ruby’s house is just like mine, and it’s directly across the courtyard, so it’s like her house stares at my house, giving it bad looks. She’s in fourth grade, but she’s in the same class as me and Charlie, even though we’re in third grade, because it’s a split class. Ms. Gelson sits me and Ruby together and puts us in the same silent reading group because we don’t talk. Ruby used to be best friends with me and Charlie, but then over the summer the Emmas started calling her Ruby Beautiful and she decided to become friends with them — including my archnemesis, Emma M. I haven’t asked her yet why she stopped being my friend.

Part of me likes having an archnemesis, but another part wishes it wasn’t Ruby’s new best friend. My mom said Ruby’s going through a phase. I hope so. I also hope I don’t catch a phase — it seems to make you evil.

Ruby’s new group of friends follow Emma M. around like puppies on invisible leashes. We call them the Emmas, even though one is actually named Emmet. Their full names are Emma Meng, Emmet Easton, Emma Arseneau and Emma Nicks, but we just use their last initials to tell them apart. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that their last initials spell M.E.A.N.

Ruby Beautiful and the Emmas are the number one reason we take a different route to school each morning. But sometimes we can’t avoid them. And this is one of those mornings.

“What weird things are you two up to now?” Emma M. asks before we have a chance to make a detour. I was too busy walking and writing to notice the Emmas behind us. Mister, who is supposed to be on Emma-alert, wasn’t paying attention.

“It’s nothing,” Charlie mutters.

“Just tell us what you’re writing about,” says Emma A. I haven’t heard her talk before, so I must look pretty surprised. In my head, she uses telepathy to tell the other Emmas what she’s thinking.

“Ummmm … it’s just a list,” I answer to no one in particular.

“Can I see it?” asks Ruby. She seems excited for a second but then tries not to let it show. The Emmas definitely have her under some kind of spell.

And then the absolute worst thing happens. Emma M. grabs the list from my clipboard and begins to read it out loud.

“A lemonade stand.” She rolls her eyes. “How original.”

When she’s done, they all laugh, even though nothing on the list is remotely funny. Well, except maybe the “catching crickets” part. But Charlie’s sister has a pet tarantula and pays Charlie a nickel for every cricket he catches to feed it.

“Come on, Wednesday,” says Mister, tugging at my jacket. “Let’s go.”

Ruby takes the list and hands it back to me. But not before the Emmas all laugh at us again.

“I knew it was going to be weird!” Emma M. says. “Who’s gonna buy lemonade from a bunch of cricket catchers?!”

“Ewww,” they all groan at the same time.

When they finally leave, Charlie tells me a fact. He does that when he gets stressed out. I think it calms him down, but it also makes me smarter. So it’s win-win, as my moms would say.

“Did you know that a howler monkey’s groan can be heard three miles away?”

“Really?” I answer. “I bet the Emmas are louder!”

We all laugh, especially Mister. And then we run because we hear the first school bell. The rest of the list will have to wait until recess.