It’s the big day: the Bridal List announcement, and April is pretty much melting down with nerves.
“I don’t know what you’re so worried about,” I reassure her. “Of course, you’ll get on it. If anything, you should be worried about not being able to keep up with the demand.”
“There are worse problems,” she laughs nervously.
“Your phone will be ringing around the clock. Do you have a spare line?” I tease. “Plus, you’re going to have to hire three more assistants, triple your orders, and—”
“Gah! Stop talking!” she yells into the phone. “You’re going to jinx it!”
I chuckle. “They’d be idiots not to pick you. You do amazing work, and look at how much you’ve gotten your name out there already.”
“I know,” she says, sounding anything but convinced.
“Say that once more, with feeling.”
Finally, she laughs. “I should go. I’m so distracted, I could wind up putting hydrangeas in this bouquet instead of hyacinths!”
“Perish the thought.”
I offer a few more words of reassurance and then let her go, but not before making plans to meet tonight. Whether it’s a celebration or commiseration, booze will definitely need to be involved. Maybe I should take her to Gino’s . . . I already know she’s crazy about their tortellini . . .
I arrive at my morning appointment: a new client meeting at a Starbucks near their office. AJ is in his thirties and has a massive crush on a woman at his gym. “I’ve tried to talk to her,” he says. “But she barely looks in my direction. I was thinking, if we really got to spend some time together, it could change her mind. Being trapped in an elevator, maybe,” he suggests eagerly. “Or if the electricity failed, and we were shut in somewhere together. Your boss, Winston, said you can do that, right?”
I pause. Ever since April opened my eyes to being on the receiving end of one of my meet-cutes, I’m being way more careful in the kinds of jobs I pull. Sitting two people together at a sporting event and letting them strike up conversation is one thing . . .
Stranding strangers together without full and willing consent? Something else entirely.
“A confined space is risky,” I say slowly. “This isn’t about forcing her into a situation. Just making a new first impression, showing you to your best advantage. Do you know if you have anything in common? What is it you like about her?”
He stares at me. “I told you, she’s super-hot.”
“Uh huh . . .” I’m going to need a little more than that. “Hobbies, likes, dislikes?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Who cares about that stuff? We just zone out when they talk, anyway, am I right?”
I grit my teeth.
“You know, I’m not sure the agency is right for you,” I’m beginning to explain, when somebody yanks my chair back.
“You’re fucking her, aren’t you?”
What the hell?
I look up to see a red-faced James, scowling over me. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see he’s unhinged and looking for a fight.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly to the client as I get up out of my seat. “Excuse us for a minute.” I grab James’s arm and frogmarch him out to the street.
“Do you have something to say to me?” I demand.
“I know you’re fucking April,” James bites out. “I couldn’t figure out what was standing in the way of us being together. She said she’s seeing someone, but that doesn’t make any sense. So, I followed her and saw . . . it’s you.”
I blink. “You followed her?”
“Obviously I had reason to,” James says, looking smug.
I have to clench my fists to keep from lunging at him. “You’re way out of line,” I warn him, my voice low. “You had a crush on her and I tried to set you up. That’s all I ever promised: to create the opportunity. April doesn’t owe you anything. She chose not to be with you.”
Thank fucking God. Her instincts about him were dead on.
“Yeah, because you took her for yourself when you were supposed to make her mine,” James argues.
“That’s not how it works,” I tell him. “Believe me, April isn’t someone who can be taken. She’s her own person.”
But his face gets even redder. “You stabbed me in the back! You took her from me. I bet Winston wouldn’t be very happy to hear how you’re treating your clients,” James adds, scowling. “Using them for your own hookups. All it would take is a phone call from me and you’d be fired.” He pauses, a mean look coming over his face. “And I will. You break it off with April, or I’m calling him.”
I snort. “Go ahead, asshole,” I say, crossing my arms. “I don’t give a flying fuck.”
And as the words come from my mouth, I realize it’s true. Which is even more surprising than James’s ridiculous tirade. I don’t feel the loyalty to Winston and the agency I once did. I mean, I’ve been proud of the work I’ve done—the happy couples I’ve helped connect—but April means way more to me than any gig.
My job is replaceable, but April?
She’s one of a kind.
When James realizes I’m serious, his face changes. “You really think you care about her? Then fine. I’ll ruin her instead. I’ll run April’s business into the ground. You don’t think I can do it?” he asks, not waiting for an answer. “I know people at City Hall. I’ll report her for health and safety violations. Make sure all her clients leave. She’ll be buried in no time.”
“Are you a fucking psychopath?” I demand. Because seriously, is this guy for real?
Clearly, the answer is yes, because James stares at me with pure hatred in his eyes.
“No, I’m just a guy who knows what he wants, and I’m not going to let anything stand in my way. It’s up to you,” he taunts me. “What’s it going to be? Stand aside and let me be with her, or watch her whole life fall apart? Everything she’s worked to build, that stupid flower shop of hers, destroyed. Because of you.”
I punch him in the face.
Before I even realize what’s happened, James is on the ground, blood trickling down his lip from his busted nose. That my hand suddenly really fucking hurts is the only thing that tells me I made it happen.
“I guess that’s my answer,” I say. “Get the fuck away from me or I’ll break both of your hands. How would you like that, doctor?”
He scrambles to his feet even as the blood keeps pouring down his face. “She’ll regret ever meeting you!” he blurts.
“Not as much as meeting you. Get. The fuck. Away.”
James takes off. I watch him go, my entire body shaking with anger.
And worry.
Because I saw the look in his eyes when he threatened April’s career. And a guy like that?
He’s not bluffing.
I head straight over to April’s shop to tell her what happened. But as I step inside, I stop. The shop is crammed wall-to-wall with people. April and her friends, Remy, and a bunch of people who I don’t know. The mood is electric, excited.
“We made it!” April greets me, shrieking. “We made it onto the Bridal List!”
I swallow back my unease. “Of course you did,” I tell her, sweeping her into a hug. “I said you would. I’m so proud of you, April!”
“I never could have done it without you,” she says, handing me a flute of champagne. Everyone’s celebrating, and I don’t have the heart to bring down her mood right now. “Ahh! I can’t believe it!”
“The phone’s already ringing off the hook!” Remy announces. “And traffic on your website is through the roof.”
April clutches my arm. “Isn’t it incredible?”
“Incredible,” I echo, proud.
“I’m going to have to hire more people,” April cheers. “And give Remy a raise,” she says as he answers the phone, putting a finger in his other ear as he struggles to hear over the din. “And maybe even expand into the space next door! I’ll even have money left over at the end of the month to set aside for savings and a 401k! I never thought I’d be so happy about a 401k!” She laughs, her face lit up with excitement.
“Take a deep breath,” I tell her, smiling. She’s overwhelmed with happiness. I love seeing her like this.
But there’s a ball of dread sitting in the pit of my stomach. James isn’t going to let this go. After what I’ve seen of him, how conniving he is and what he’s capable of, I know he’s going to follow through.
If he can’t have April, he’ll ruin her life instead.
Because of me. Because I couldn’t stay away from her. Because despite all my rules, I’m falling in love with her.
I can’t let that happen. She deserves all this success, and so much more.
“April . . .” I start, before I can talk myself out of this. “Come here for a sec,” I say, leading her into the back room.
She grins at me and moves in for a kiss, but I step back.
Fuck.
I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.
I shove my fingers through my hair. Hating what I have to do. Hating myself. “I don’t think this is working.”
She blinks. “What do you mean?”
“This. Us.” I gulp, avoiding her gaze. “It’s not you,” I hastily add. “It’s me. I’m just not cut out for the whole relationship thing. I . . . I should have said something sooner, but, anyway. There it is.”
I am the worst kind of asshole. And when I finally force myself to look at her, the expression on her face makes me loathe myself even more.
“No,” she says, realization dawning. “You are not breaking up with me. Today. Here. This isn’t happening.”
“I’m so sorry, April.” I swallow hard, wanting this to just be over with, but April folds her arms, stubborn.
“You care about me, I know you do. You’re just freaking out for some reason. Maybe you have seasonal affective disorder or something. We’ll get you one of those happy lights.” She laughs, but it’s panicked, almost hysterical laughter. “But Seth, we’re good together. I’m not sure what’s happening but . . .”
“You’re a great person, April,” I interrupt, wishing the ground could swallow me up. “And we had some good times, but I’m not the guy for you. You have all these artificial feelings for me because of what happened with James and how I saved you at the cabin and helped you with all this.” I wave my hands around.
Her eyes widen. “And now you’re telling me my emotions are manufactured? That I don’t know what I’m feeling?”
I hate that she’s pissed. And that I’m the reason why, but it actually makes my job easier.
If she hates me, then at least she won’t be sorry to see me go.
“What do you think?” I ask. “I’m good at what I do. I created this thing between us so we could have some fun. See how well it worked? But it’s not real, April. You just got caught up in the props and staging. There was never going to be any future for us, this was all just supposed to be a bit of fun.”
Her face crumples right in front of me. I have never in my life felt worse. I tell myself it’s for the greater good. It’s for her.
As she gapes at me, I turn and leave out the back door. I’m too much of a coward to face her friends. Soon enough they’ll see the carnage I’ve left behind.
And that pit in my stomach? It’s nothing compared to the giant hole in my chest where my heart used to be.