Josie walked into Tillie’s and took a seat in front of the owner, who was tending bar. Tillie was a pre-Stonewall war horse, worn out by activism and content now with looking out for the community that had formed in her bar. She had a mop of gray hair, a sturdy body, and a demeanor that left no doubt who was in charge.
“Hi, Tillie. Been a long time.” Josie climbed onto an old bar stool, its back wobbly and the leather worn. “I’ll take a draft beer, please.”
“I’ve been here. Where have you been?” Tillie said as she pulled the beer from the tap. She seemed wary, as if knowing that taking that first beer would turn Josie into a totally different person. She’d cut off Josie more than a few times and broken up a few fights, too.
“You think I’ll be raising hell again, I can tell,” Josie said. “But don’t worry. I’m under control these days. One beer a day and that’s it.”
“Yeah, that’s what Lucy told me. She said you were sick for a while but now you’re nearly all better.” Tillie leaned over the bar to slap her on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said, before leaving to tend to customers at the end of the bar.
Josie saw red. Jesus H. Christ. What the hell was Lucy doing telling anyone anything about her? That was a deal breaker. She broke up with Lucy in her mind right then. She wasn’t even going to tell her they’d broken up. She’ll figure it out. She felt relief; now she wouldn’t have to sort out how she felt about Lucy. No more dates. No more taking things at a glacially slow pace. If her drinking and mania were under control, she didn’t need to be with someone as grounded as Lucy. She could branch out a little, have some fun. It wasn’t that she wanted to pick anyone up; she simply wanted to know she could if she felt like it. And there was no way she was going to be with someone who gossiped about her.
What she really wanted to do was go back to Lauren and make love to her until she couldn’t take any more. Josie could make pleasure last, she was good at that. But it would hardly do for her to seduce her new boss. She should show at least some resistance to it, even though she knew at her core she and Lauren both felt the palpable sexual tension between them. As soon as they had been alone together in her house, Josie could feel the atmosphere change, like walking in a lightning storm when the air seemed to crackle and buzz. She couldn’t be making it up.
She sipped her beer and surveyed the room. It was early evening and the bar was filling fast. She saw Ann-Marie and Gabby at one of the tables. Since she was no longer being paid to look for Kelly Moore’s killer, whether Gabby was a suspect didn’t matter. She had a new job now. She couldn’t wait to report for her shift the next morning. She even liked the fact Stan was giving the orders. She knew she had a lot to learn.
Josie looked down the bar and around the room once again, looking for Lucy, with whom she’d just broken up. The whole “who gets the tavern after the breakup” thing worried her. Tillie’s was Josie’s bar, not Lucy’s, for God’s sake. She’d fight her hard on that one. Just as she was about to finish her beer and head home, she heard a chair scrape hard across the wooden floor. She turned to see Gabby standing over Ann-Marie, holding on to her upper arm and giving her a good shake until Ann-Marie rose from the table. Gabby kept her vise-like grip on Ann-Marie, who was in obvious discomfort, and pulled her toward the door. Josie didn’t think twice before rushing over to help Ann-Marie.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Gabby said. Josie was pulling on her hands trying to free Ann-Marie, but she could tell she wouldn’t be able to wrest them away. Gabby was strong, no question, and her fingers were dug so deep into Ann-Marie’s thin arm it would take pliers to set her free. Instead, Josie pulled her arm back and punched Gabby square in the face, which hurt her hand like absolute hell. That was more than made up for by seeing Gabby scream in pain as she windmilled backward, crashing into the table of two women drinking chocolate martinis. Gabby was drenched by them, as well as bleeding profusely from her nose.
Josie turned to Ann-Marie. “Do you have your own car here?”
Ann-Marie looked terrified, but she nodded in answer.
“Take your car and go to a friend’s house until I call and tell you it’s safe to come home.”
“But I’m sure she wouldn’t harm me,” she said, the sobs starting.
“Right. And I’m sure world peace will break out tomorrow.” She guided Ann-Marie through the door. “Please do as I say. Quickly.”
She saw Ann-Marie leave and turned to watch Gabby struggling to right herself. Blood was still streaming from her nose, but Gabby was tough. She was soon up and barreling straight at Josie. She swung with all she had, a punch Josie barely managed to evade.
“Outside!” Tillie yelled, suddenly right beside them. “Get your asses outside. You know I don’t tolerate fighting in my bar!”
Gabby grabbed Josie in a bear hug, pinning her tight as she dragged her out the door Tillie was now holding open.
“I figure you have ten minutes to sort yourselves out before the police come,” Tillie said. She shook her head as she walked back in the bar, muttering something about acting like children. Josie had to agree. Breaking Gabby’s nose was not something she’d overlook, and Gabby was much more muscular than Josie was. She was a firefighter, Josie a cop. It was well established who was the stronger of the two. Cops were no slouches, but she might be in over her head. As Gabby pulled her onto the sidewalk, Josie saw faces plastered at the windows, eerily illuminated by the neon “Tillie’s” sign, eager to watch the fight. There wasn’t a single one likely to step out and put a stop to Josie getting her ass kicked.
She started to struggle in Gabby’s arms until Gabby suddenly dropped her at her feet. Tillie’s was on a quiet street with a small row of commercial properties nestled among brick two- and three-flat buildings. They were all closed for the day. No one was out walking their dog or sharpening their sword or patrolling the neighborhood. No one was there to intervene. Josie wasn’t scared, exactly. She simply wanted to avoid getting killed.
“Get up, you coward,” Gabby said. She was drunk, same as every time she’d seen her at Tillie’s. “Now you’re going to pay for messing my face up.” Like she was Cate Blanchett or something. No one was going to notice a broken nose on Gabby’s face.
Josie managed to get another punch in as she rose from the ground. It was a gut shot and it felt like hitting the heavy bag boxers work out with. It would take about twenty of those stomach punches before Gabby would start to feel it. Gabby moved back and gave them some fighting room, and then came forward with an unexpected left that sent Josie crashing back to the sidewalk. She rolled quickly out of the way when she saw Gabby’s boot swing toward her ribs, which pissed Josie off. Fucking firefighters never fought fair. She scrambled to her feet and moved in toward Gabby, who was moving around in a circle. That was when she saw Gabby reach into her leather vest and pull out a switchblade. When she opened the knife it made that pffft sound that meant everything was about to go to shit.
“Can we dial this down?” Josie said. “I don’t think you want to stab me, do you?”
Josie was circling in counterpoint to Gabby. She considered running away, but she wouldn’t give Gabby that satisfaction. They circled around each other like two wrestlers.
“Yeah, I really do,” said Gabby, who looked like she’d changed into another person, not unlike the Hulk. Savage, and not necessarily compos mentis. “You don’t know what I want. You don’t know what I can do.” She moved in and thrust the knife at Josie, who luckily was more nimble than strong. It was time to put an end to it. She drew the gun holstered at her back and prayed she wouldn’t have to use it.
Gabby’s eyes fell on the gun. “Now that’s cheating,”
“No, it’s not. Rock beats scissors.” Josie continued walking in the same circle Gabby was, both of her hands wrapped around the Glock. “Don’t make me use this, Gabby. All you have to do is put the knife down and we’re done. You can beat it before the cops come. They might be a while. I can tell you from experience a fight at a gay bar doesn’t have them speeding over with lights and sirens.” She saw a flicker of indecision in Gabby’s eyes. “So what’s it going to be? Are you going to lay the knife down and kick it over to me or am I going to have to shoot you?”
Josie thought Gabby would take some time before deciding how to get out of her fix with the most pride left intact, but as soon as her last word was spoken, Gabby aimed the knife and threw it straight at her. If Josie hadn’t turned to her side she’d have a five-inch knife in her gut. Bad news. She swung the gun on Gabby. “Get the hell out of here, now, or I’ll shoot you for being a fucking asshole,” she said with real disgust. “And if I hear of you hurting Ann-Marie again I’ll be back to see you.”
Amazingly, Gabby kept coming toward her, toward the barrel of the Glock, putting Josie in the position of possibly shooting an unarmed person. Her training told her no-no. Her thumping heart said yes-yes. When she got within range, Josie flipped the gun in her hand and clubbed Gabby on the side of the head, barely pulling her punch. She really didn’t want to kill her. Gabby went down in a heap, yowling.
Josie stood over her. “Now take off, run before the cops come. You have nothing left, Gabby.”
Gabby now had blood pouring down her face from a head wound, streaming alongside the blood from her broken nose. She looked like a doomed character in a horror film. She got up and finally turned tail. She disappeared down one of the residential streets, and Josie did the same as she heard the first sirens coming their way. She ran in the opposite direction and stopped running when she reached a tot lot a couple blocks away from Tillie’s. What the fuck was that about? She knew Gabby was a hothead, but she saw something lethal in her eyes, and something crazy. She knew she’d have to deal with Gabby at some point, if only to keep Ann-Marie safe. If she were still looking for alternative killers, Gabby would be back to number one on the list.
After enough time had passed for Tillie to get rid of the cops, Josie walked back through the door and returned to her seat at the bar. Tillie came over and glared at her.
“Sorry. But I couldn’t let Gabby manhandle Ann-Marie like that. It isn’t right.”
“No, it isn’t right. I’m glad you stepped in, but I had to throw you out anyway. You know how it is.” Tillie poured another beer and placed it in front of Josie. “I think you’ve earned this one.”
Josie stared at the beer, seriously considering drinking a second one for the first time since she got out of the hospital. Greta would be livid. She was totally against Josie having even one beer a day. She said it made the meds less effective. Clearly, Greta didn’t know everything.
She was picking up the mug of beer when she felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans. She pulled it out. The number wasn’t recognizable, but Josie had no doubt who it was and her heart began to thump, more than it had when she was being threatened with a knife minutes before. The text simply said, “Get back here.”
*
Lauren flung the door open immediately after it rang. She wasn’t interested in being coy. She wanted Josie as soon as possible. Josie stood on the doorstep, a little rumpled, her cheeks flushed, her eyes searching Lauren’s for a signal. Without speaking, Lauren reached out for Josie’s arm and pulled her into the house, kicking the door shut as she put her arms around Josie’s neck. Josie turned and pushed Lauren against the door and kissed her for all she was worth. Lauren felt invaded by the kiss, filled by it, breathless from it. She broke the contact and stared into Josie’s somewhat dazed eyes.
“So you’ve done this before?” Lauren said, smiling.
“Once or twice.”
“Kissed a girl for the first time like that?”
Josie hesitated. “Sure. But I don’t remember it ever feeling this way.”
“What way?” Lauren was teasing her, hooking her fingers through Josie’s belt loops and pulling her closer.
“Like I want to rip your clothes off.”
Lauren saw the pure desire in Josie’s eyes. “What are you waiting for, then?” She’d changed into a tunic length T-shirt and slim stretch pants after she’d called Josie, wanting the minimum of fumbling. She’d imagined the scene almost exactly as it was playing out.
Josie kissed her again as intensely, before pulling Lauren’s shirt over her head and pushing her pants down to her ankles. Lauren kicked them away. She stood naked against the door and watched as Josie looked at her from an arm’s length away.
“You’re beautiful,” Josie whispered.
Lauren didn’t say a word. Standing before her, fully clothed, Josie was gorgeous. Her hair was wildly swirling around her head from Lauren gripping and tugging and running her fingers through it. Her lips looked plumper, pinker than before the bruising kisses. Lauren crooked her finger and summoned Josie, who did not need much direction.
“Don’t mess around,” Lauren said, pushing Josie to her knees. Josie kissed an inner thigh as she placed Lauren’s leg over her shoulder. That was the end of the teasing kisses. Josie brought her mouth to her and hit the exact right spot with her tongue on the first try, making Lauren squirm and moan above her. Lauren gripped the door frame, trying to keep herself upright as Josie devoured her. She tried to hold out, but she’d been speeding toward orgasm from the moment she opened her door. There was no holding it at bay now. She gripped Josie’s head and screamed her bloody head off. Before she went completely limp, she felt Josie’s arm come around her waist to support her.
Lauren’s head still rested against the door and she took some time to recover before opening her eyes and looking at Josie. “Upstairs,” she said.
Josie took her hand and led her up the old banistered stairway, both of them weaving slightly as if they were drunk. Lauren pointed toward her bedroom, where they shut themselves away for the night. Everything had played out as she’d imagined, but she hadn’t anticipated her emotional reaction to it. She’d never been as aroused before, not with Kelly or any other woman. All of her past lovers had been beautiful—this wasn’t simply a physical reaction. She’d been expecting something like her experience with Cory—light, fun, and very satisfying. But her reaction to Josie was so far beyond that.
Love was not something she needed right now.
*
Holy shit. Josie lay on her stomach, trying to recover. She’d just had six orgasms. Six. That was about six more than she normally had with her sex partners. She’d blamed that on her drinking. She’d been numb from the waist down for a long time. She never suspected it might have to do with her disconnection from the women she was fucking. She felt foolish to discover what sex could be at her age, but it was a stunning revelation. She felt she could go on all day and into the night and never come up for air.
She rolled onto her back and drew Lauren over her, like a blanket. Their slack bodies molded to each other’s curves like one of those foam mattresses she’d tried out at the store. Shockingly expensive. She was surprised Lauren didn’t have one. The room they were in was large and luxurious. She’d visited the master bath once and was rendered mute. The shower was on the other side of the room from the bathtub, not in the bathtub. The toilet was closed off in its own little room. It had a control pad installed next to the toilet with icons of people sitting on the can. Water was shooting at their privates from a variety of angles. Your choice. Josie was completely bewildered. Everything was complicated when it came to Lauren, even her toilet.
The solid but relaxed way they were now cleaved together felt better than any postcoital feeling she’d ever had. Of course, six orgasms would account for much of that, but it was her openness to Lauren that allowed those orgasms to happen. The way Lauren gave herself to Josie, the way she was so immodest and wild, so accepting. It was glorious and probably disastrous.
“Do you think we’ve had enough for one night?” Lauren whispered. She lay on top of Josie with the slack weight of a sleeping baby.
Josie looked at the nightstand clock. It was four in the morning and she had to report for her shift at eight. For the first time in a week she felt she could sleep a whole night.
“Possibly not,” Josie said, rubbing Lauren’s back. “But I think it’s all I can do. You practically killed me.”
Lauren raised her head and smiled smugly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It was. You have exceptional gifts,” Josie said.
Josie kissed the top of Lauren’s head and instantly went to sleep.