WEDNESDAY IN HOLY WEEK
Go to a certain man in the city and say to him, “The Master says: My time is near. It is at your house that I am keeping Passover with my disciples. ” The disciples did what Jesus told them and prepared the Passover.
—Matt. 26:18-19
O Lord, how can I ever go anywhere else but to you to find the love I so desire! How can I expect from people as sinful as myself a love that can touch me in the most hidden corners of my being? Who can wash me clean as you do and give me food and drink as you do? Who wants me to be so close, so intimate, and so safe as you do? O Lord, your love is not an intangible love, a love that remains words and thoughts. No, Lord, your love is a love that comes from your human heart. It is a heart-felt love that expresses itself through your whole being. You speak... you look... you touch... you give me food. Yes, you make your love a love that reaches all the senses of my body and holds me as a mother holds her child, embraces me as a father embraces his son, and touches me as a brother touches his sister and brother.
Lord Jesus, I look at you, and my eyes are fixed on your eyes. Your eyes penetrate the eternal mystery of the divine and see the glory of God. They are also the eyes that saw Simon, Andrew, Nathanael, and Levi, the eyes that saw the woman with a hemorrhage, the widow of Nain, the blind, the lame, the lepers, and the hungry crowd, the eyes that saw the sad, rich ruler, the fearful disciples on the lake, and the sorrowful women at the tomb. Your eyes, O Lord, see in one glance the inexhaustible love of God and the seemingly endless agony of all people who have lost faith in that love and are like sheep without a shepherd.
As I look into your eyes, they frighten me because they pierce like flames of fire my innermost being, but they console me as well, because these flames are purifying and healing. Your eyes are so severe yet so loving, so unmasking yet so protecting, so penetrating yet so caressing, so profound yet so intimate, so distant yet so inviting.
I gradually realize that I want to be seen by you, to dwell under your caring gaze, and to grow strong and gentle in your sight. Lord, let me see what you see — the love of God and the suffering of people so that my eyes may become more and more like yours, eyes that can heal wounded hearts.
Our Prayer
Dear Lord,
your disciple Peter wanted to know
who would betray you.
You pointed to Judas
but a little later also to him.
Judas betrayed, Peter denied you.
Judas hanged himself,
Peter became the apostle
whom you made the first among equals.
Lord, give me faith,
faith in your endless mercy,
your boundless forgiveness,
your unfathomable goodness.
Let me not be tempted
to think that my sins
are too great to be forgiven,
too abominable to be touched by your mercy.
Let me never run away from you
but return to you again and again,
asking you to be my Lord,
my Shepherd, my Stronghold, and my Refuge.
Take me under your wing, O Lord,
and let me know that you do not reject me
as long as I keep asking you to forgive me.
Perhaps my doubt in your forgiveness
is a greater sin
than the sins I consider too great to be forgiven.
Perhaps I make myself too important, too great
when I think
that I cannot be embraced by you anymore.
Lord, look at me, accept my prayer
as you accepted Peter’s prayer,
and let me not run away from you
in the night as Judas did.
Bless me, Lord, in this Holy Week,
and give me the grace
to know your loving presence more intimately.
Amen.