Rhonda looks even better than she did when we first dated. I had held off on going to her Facebook page, but now that I scan through her photos, assuming that they are current, I find myself remembering all of the wonderful moments we shared before the incident that caused our break-up. This is why I hate looking at pictures of her. I end up romanticizing the past far too much.
One of her photo albums is called “My Treasure!!!” and the first picture I see is of a beautiful little girl with braided and beaded hair. She looks like a miniature version of Rhonda. I click open the album, and there are several shots of this little girl smiling and posing in various environments. One of the pictures has Rhonda and Treasure standing side by side, holding each other. I find myself unable to keep from smiling. I had often wondered whether I would ever want to see the child who was at the heart of our breakup, but now that I have, I feel a sense of peace. Rhonda just looks so happy standing there. Incidentally, there is no guy in any of the pictures, which is not surprising since Rhonda’s status is listed as “single.”
I want to hate her all over again, but I can’t bring myself to go there, not with Treasure staring through the screen at me. One thing I notice (and am immediately thankful for) is that the little girl doesn’t seem to have any features of her father. I think if Treasure looked like a blend of two people as opposed to the spitting image of one, I would have a much harder time with this. As I look back and forth between them, I wonder what Treasure would have looked like if I had been her father. Would she still look like a clone of her mother, or would she have something of mine? My ears? My nose? My eyes?
Rhonda has not messaged me directly since I accepted her request, but I have noticed that she has clicked “Like” for a few of my comments. I guess that’s as safe a way as any to ease into a conversation with a person. Still, I don’t know what I would say if we ever did speak to each other. How do you pick up from such a bad breakup?
“How are you doing?” she might ask, and I would be forced to respond, “Not bad, considering the devastating heartbreak you laid on me nine years ago.”
Surely I’m beyond that. At least I hope.
Maybe she read Soul Sista and has been following the blog. She could have just told me what she wanted from me when she sent the friendship request rather than have me sitting here guessing about what to expect next from her.
I’m probably overthinking this, I know. Maybe it’s all just innocent, but it seems these days that I am more popular than I care to be. I guess that would make most anyone more paranoid of people’s intentions.
Soon enough all of this hoopla with Soul Sista will be behind me. Hopefully by that time, C&J’s Rare Grooves will be all the better for it. And maybe—just maybe—there will be a woman standing by my side once the storm has passed.