Chapter 14: Birthing a Birth Plan

Searching “Birth Plan Templates” on the Internet will garner a myriad of styles, types, varieties, and different interpretations, some good, others not so good, and a few that are downright bad. Throughout my career I have developed what I call my “rule of thumb” for birth plans.

No one will read anything longer than one page. Don’t even think of it! One website boasts “Everything you’ll need . . . ” You’re supposed to fill in the blanks and then print out all nine pages. No one will ever read all of that.

When I am working as a doula I tell the family that part of my job is to be a gatekeeper at their birth. When any new nurse or resident walks in the room, it is my duty to intercept him or her and introduce myself, “Hi, I am Stephanie, Jane’s doula, and this is our birth plan.” That way everyone in the room is hopefully on board and it sends a message that Jane has done her homework and this is important to her.

When a mom sends me her birth plan I check it over and make any suggestions if I wonder about something, like, “Don’t you want to have the baby with you during any exams?” Sometimes I will suggest adding a point or two, or perhaps omitting outdated practices, like being strapped into stirrups. I want to be sure I am clear about her wishes. It isn’t necessary to repeatedly write, “But in an emergency . . .” or “If a C-section is recommended,” because the mom will be the first to know and be consulted if there is a concern.

We need to stay positive and not write in every dire intervention. Yes, we will educate ourselves about what might happen and our options, but we don’t need to expect every such horrific outcome. ­Another reason to learn about interventions and what options you will have should events warrant is because if you don’t understand what your rights and options are, then you really don’t have any choices; you have decided that you trust the doctor or midwife enough to allow yourself to go into default mode and will do what they feel is best.

A study was done in the U.S. that asked mothers to rate their birth experiences in relation to their birth plans. Mothers (and partners) most dissatisfied with their birth experiences were those who expected every point to be honored by all present at all times. They felt their document was almost cast in stone, and then thought they had “failed” somehow to either live up to their own expectations or that the staff didn’t respect the birth plan (and their wishes) enough and derailed the event from what it could have been.

 

 

 

“Just as a woman’s heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from the fire, so she knows when and how to give birth.”

~Virginia Di Orio