Chapter Nineteen

The pageant had been its usual charming self. Nearly every resident in town showed, the kids were gratuitously blushed and hair sprayed, not to mention adorable and fun to watch. One of the little girls sang three times as loud as anyone else, either oblivious or unconcerned that she was off-key.

An angel fed Herod his lines, which made for an interesting twist where the heavenly messenger was seemingly on the wrong side. Mary also dropped baby Jesus a couple times, but luckily, he was played by a plastic doll.

As for the unusual? Near the end of the second act, Gavin reached over his armrest and slipped his fingers between hers. While Julie did her best to play it cool, internal squeeing was absolutely occurring.

Does he not care whether anyone sees us holding hands? Not that holding hands necessarily signaled anything more than friendship. The whorl of heat unfurling in her gut, however, spoke volumes.

As the entire cast bowed in their best approximation of unison, the crowd applauded. Clusters of people popped to their feet, setting off a wave. Never in the history of the pageant had the production received anything less than a standing ovation, and not only because it felt wrong not to cheer for the son of God and all his angels.

Julie secured her hand in the crook of Gavin’s elbow and spoke over the roar of the audience. “I know I say this every year, but that was for sure for sure the best pageant yet.”

Gavin did a double take in her direction, as if he’d forgotten how she looked, and she internally fist-bumped herself for splurging on the dress. Originally, she’d planned to wear it to make the guy she was having a fling with drool. If it affected the guy next to her the same way, though, even better.

As they made their way out of the theater, Gavin pressed his hand to her lower back, each one of his fingertips radiating heat. Getting through the crowd was a slow process. Not only did they know everyone, the entire town wanted information on their football star’s shoulder and what he thought their odds were in the playoffs. Oh, and did he think the Mustangs could seriously go from last in the league to first?

“I never say die,” Gavin responded each time, “but I’m also too superstitious to get too cocky.”

The overhead lights reflected in the shiny bald spot atop the mayor’s head as he jockeyed his way into front and center. “But you’d bet on the Mustangs heading to the Super Bowl.” Mayor Foster added an over-the-top wink that made her reconsider winking as a flirty move. Others might be able to pull it off, but she and the mayor definitely didn’t belong to that group.

At long last, they made it to the exit.

Julie gripped Gavin’s injured shoulder and dug her thumb into the front of it, gently rubbing at the knotted muscles. “How you holding up?”

Darlene popped her head between both of theirs. Before Julie could fully recover from the sudden intrusion, Mom squished her way into the bubble, the two of them forming a maternal totem pole. “Who’s ready for a carriage ride through town to marvel at the lights?”

While Julie loved checking out the various Christmas decorations, she preferred to do so in a warm car with the heater blasting, not the slower horse-drawn kind. “I worry about Gavin’s shoulder.”

A mischievous grin accompanied his sidelong glance. “I’m sure your willingness to jet early has nothing to do with the frigid temperature.”

Before Julie could offer a rebuttal about being perfectly capable of multitasking the things about the ride that concerned her, Mom whipped out her dressy gloves with the fleece lining. “We reserved a sleigh just for you two, since you’re both grown adults who need your space.”

How on earth? Only the moms could manage to twist her and Gavin’s repeated requests not to meddle in their affairs into an opportunity to do exactly that.

The devil on Julie’s shoulder whispered for her to respond with, “What about a romantic carriage ride with Kory instead? Aren’t he and I supposed to be dating by Christmas?”

Considering Mom hadn’t mentioned Kory in days, Julie suspected there’d been ulterior motives, although she still couldn’t follow the logic. Perhaps her family had merely seen the writing on the wall—she’d accidentally ended up swept up in Gavin.

“You two take the next one,” Mom said as Dad helped her into one of the horse-drawn sleighs lined up at the curb. Darlene and Rashad piled in next, and then they motioned for Niki. Gavin’s little sister gave them a longing glance, and Julie almost insisted she come with them, since it’d likely be more fun for her.

Apparently she wasn’t that angelic, because her lips remained sealed.

Rashad waved, and Dad hollered, “You two kids have fun now.”

With their audience out of view, Julie turned her full attention to Gavin. How unfair that she took well over an hour to shave her legs, blow-dry and curl her hair, and apply makeup, and all he had to do was pop on a shirt and tie to look like a million bucks? Then again, even in his casual getup, he had the muscles, the rugged features, the perfect hair—basically, all the things were going for him.

“So, do you let your parents plan all of your dates?” she teased, slipping her arms around his waist. “Or am I just special?”

“You’re definitely special,” he said, a pinch mocking, but the accompanying stroke of her sideswept curls caused a full body shudder. “But yeah, whenever I’m around this certain woman, they spring preplanned dates on us. It used to drive me bonkers, but lately…” He lowered his forehead to hers. “Lately, I’m digging it more than I should.”

Relief coursed through her in a calming wave. If he’d admitted that, it made it safer to give in to the overpowering magnetic pull, right? She tipped onto her toes, a breath away from kissing him, when hoofbeats and the jingle of bells broke through.

“Whoa.” The driver tugged on the horses’ reins, drawing the carriage to a stop, and the previous group of riders barreled out of the sleigh, excitedly chatting about their favorite light displays.

Gavin climbed into the metal contraption and then turned to help Julie onto the lightly padded green velvet seat. Before she could request the wool blanket, he’d spread it across both of their laps. He even tucked one corner behind her shoulder so she wouldn’t have to hold it herself.

A gloved hand appeared, gripping the ridge of the sleigh, and then the town preacher popped his head into the opening. “Gavin. Julie.” A nod accompanied each of their names. “I was hoping to catch you, and it looks like I made it in the nick of time.”

The butterflies that’d been stirring in Julie’s gut crashed to the ground in sad little death spirals. In small towns, everyone had a history with everyone, so predicaments such as these were pretty much inevitable.

“Would you mind if I ride with you? My wife and daughter went on ahead, since I had some matters to attend to, but they called and told me this year’s light show couldn’t be missed.”

Julie wasn’t sure who flinched harder at the mention of his daughter, her or Gavin.

But, for the preacher, she adjusted her figurative halo and plastered on a smile to hide her disappointment over having her limited solo time with Gavin interrupted… by his ex-girlfriend’s father.

A quick glance at Gavin revealed he felt similarly—as in Why, God, why—but that neither felt they could refuse. “Of course. Hop on in.”

Preacher Abbott took the bench seat facing them, and the driver checked everyone was seated and ready and then nudged the horse down the road.

They oohed and aahed at the light displays. Some were classic and simple, with glowing white lights. Other yards contained a menagerie of decorations, everything from Santa to snowflakes to deer and lit nativity sets.

The conversation veered into familiar territory: football and the Mustangs’ playoff odds. It was already on Gavin’s mind so much as it was, and she couldn’t imagine the added pressure of having to talk about it, his shoulder, and whether he’d be joining his team.

Underneath the blanket, Julie sought his hand, and Gavin turned his palm face up to meet hers. Even through the gloves, a steady current of electricity coursed up her arm and settled in her heart.

“Sorry, Julie,” Preacher Abbott said. “We got all caught up talking sports—I’m sure you’re a Mustangs fan as well, though.”

“I’m a Gavin Frost fan, so I’ll pledge my loyalty to any team he leads.” She flashed him a smile, and he drifted his thumb over the back of her hand in circles. The walking-a-tightrope sensation made her question every movement and word, including whether she was coming across as too flirty. But the guy holding her hand deserved to hear how unconditionally she supported him and his career.

“And I’ll play much better knowing you and your cat are on the sidelines cheering for me, even if it’s from the comfort of your couch.”

Her stomach followed the pattern Gavin traced, swirling higher and higher. “No promises about which team Kylo Ren will cheer for. As you know, he’s had his struggle with the dark side.”

“Ah, so he’s a Tom Brady fan,” Preacher Abbott stage-whispered and all of them—even their driver—snickered over that one.

For the first time in—well, ever—instead of cursing their families’ attempts at matchmaking, Julie wished this impromptu “date” would continue a while longer and include kissing.

Possibly more.

After dropping off the preacher, naturally.

Preacher Abbott glanced between the two of them, the creases in his forehead deepening, and her assuredness wavered a pinch. “So, uh, Kristin mentioned that she ran into you at the antique store earlier today. I’m glad you two finally had the chance to clear the air and catch up.”

Everything inside of Julie froze—Gavin certainty hadn’t mentioned the run-in to her, and she’d thought they were closer than that. What did she have to do? Crack open his head and manually pry the information from his brain?

“We’ve missed having you around this year,” Preacher Abbott continued. “Especially when it came time to put the angel on the tree. I’d never needed a ladder with you around, and I nearly knocked the entire thing down trying to prove I didn’t require one, either.” He chuckled, and then his features softened. “My family and I, we all wish you the best. I hope you know that.”

“I appreciate that. More than you know.” There was genuine emotion in Gavin’s expression and voice, only Julie couldn’t pinpoint which one. Remorse? Relief? Regret? Any other R-named feelings she could list? “It was nice to get the chance to see Kristin now the dust’s settled. She told me about her soap and lotion business, and I’m thrilled it’s going so well for her.”

Joy lit the preacher’s eyes. “She’s thriving here. It started as a hobby, but now she’s running her own business, and stocking several shops around the state.”

A shrill, barely-there whine filtered through Julie’s ears, swallowing up parts of the exchange. She tried to remain neutral, but the reminder of what Gavin and Kristin had shared chipped away at the confidence she’d worked so hard to lacquer on this past week.

“And you’re in Phoenix, correct?”

It took a nudge from Gavin to realize the question had been directed at her. “Yeah. I’m in warm and sunny Arizona, and I seriously love my job. I was recently promoted, so I’m now in charge of the biggest lab in the city. I love that day in and day out, my job’s never the same. Sometimes it’s a tumor or a hairball the size of my fist, broken up by the constant influx of umbilical cords and placentas. Oh, and there was this one case—”

“Please, please don’t mention the diabetes penis again,” Gavin said.

“Why are guys so sensitive about their penises?” Even the preacher had folded in on himself at the mention.

“Um, for the obvious reasons.” Gavin looked to Preacher Abbott for backup, and he grimaced.

“I’ll pass on that particular one, thanks.”

Most people might find it odd to have this discussion with males—much less a member of the clergy—but she’d always been very comfortable studying each organ as an individual, as well as how they fit together. “Some kids enjoy Legos. I’m like the Indiana Jones of figuring out mysteries and artifacts inside people’s bodies.”

“That’s real…”

Julie turned her head to Gavin, a smile to match the pride radiating through her already forming.

“Disturbing,” Gavin finished, and her smile morphed into a glare. Apparently not one that was scary enough, as he only laughed. But then he curled her close, rubbing blessed warmth into her arm with his hand. “And I love how into it you are. Even if I’m terrified of the idea of you wielding a scalpel.”

“Long distance must be hard,” Preacher Abbot said, and she and Gavin exchanged a glance. Did he…assume they were dating? And if so, did they correct him? “Keeping up your friendship, what with Gavin’s busy traveling schedule.”

From anyone else, Julie might assume it was a jab at Gavin. But Preacher Abbott didn’t have a mean bone in his body. On the other hand, did that mean they were still giving off the just friends vibe?

While it’d prevent people from prying, it made Julie wonder if she’d only imagined the overall moreness. Either way, it had been difficult to keep in touch, even with their relationship remaining on the friendship side of the spectrum.

“It’s not easy,” Gavin said. “We try to schedule time for each other, but there are a lot of months where we’ve rescheduled to the point we have to start from scratch. Not to mention how often my teammates insert themselves into our video chats. They all adore her and want a turn at show-and-tell. I can hardly fault them for it, though. They’ve caught on to what I’ve always known: there’s no one better than Jules.”

The strings in her heart tugged, providing a hint of the aching they’d do if they attempted a long-distance relationship. Every time he traveled, she’d wonder how many women were hitting on him. How tempted he was. A dozen other complications that played tug-of-war with her heart.

But was she really going to let fear dictate the decisions she made? That wasn’t brave or exciting or any of the traits she longed to be.

As they neared the last block of decked-out houses, Julie spotted their family, gathered and waiting for them, chatting and laughing.

One of her favorite places to be was here in Crystal Springs, with their combined families, all the holiday festivities filling the days with a whirl of activity. Between their parents, grandparents, and a handful of others who would head to the Frosts for their annual Christmas Eve hangout, she couldn’t help mourning the fact that she and Gavin were nearing the end of their second to last day.

Preacher Abbott scooted to the edge of his seat, prepping for the end of the ride. “Thanks again for letting me tag along.” He placed his hand on Gavin’s shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

The sleigh slowed to a stop, and it became very clear there was no chance of the stranger thing. Not with the two other Abbotts clustered among her and Gavin’s families.

Julie tried not to focus on Kristin’s face as they climbed down and stepped onto the sidewalk, but she couldn’t help it. She appeared happy as she nodded in both Gavin’s and then her direction.

But then Mrs. Abbott snagged the attention, the steely glare she aimed at Gavin impossible to miss—and the way Gavin’s posture stiffened suggested he’d noticed. So while two of the Abbotts seemed to have forgiven him over things not working out, Mrs. Abbott gave the impression she hadn’t yet and likely never would.

I wonder if it’s because he didn’t marry Kristin and make her rich and famous, or if she’s still upset at him for moving her so far away from Crystal Springs in the first place.

After some idle chatter and exchanged holiday wishes, they reached the farewell portion of the evening, and Gavin extracted Julie from the group. She could hardly keep up with his long strides as he headed toward the SUV. Once they reached the bumper, Julie tugged him to a stop.

“Why didn’t you mention running into Kristin?” She’d meant for it to come out more casually, but the pinch of jealousy in her gut sharpened the words and punctuated the air.

“I wasn’t purposely not mentioning it. You and I have hardly had the chance to talk today. It was a little awkward at first, but good overall.” He was holding back, and Julie crossed her arms to show him she knew it.

Gavin glanced at their families, who were on their way, in theory, but were firm believers in southern goodbyes, which involved at least a dozen hugs, several variations of classic farewells, and approximately thirty minutes of inching toward the door or vehicle for the last and final goodbye.

“Kristin told me that she’s so glad she finally stopped living my dream so she could find her own slice of happiness that was all hers.” He chipped at a patch of dirty, hardened snow with the toe of his shoe. “You know, since I held her back for so long. I did my best to apologize—for that and more—but she mentioned the years she wasted not doing what she loved twice.”

“That’s bullshit,” Julie said, and Gavin’s head shot up, along with his eyebrows. Did he expect her to take Kristin’s side? Not that there were sides, but still. “You never held her back, Gavin. If she wanted to make soaps and lotions, she could’ve done that in any of the places you lived.”

He shrugged his uninjured shoulder, and Julie placed her gloved hand on his cheek so he’d hear her loud and clear. “That’s not on you. It’s mighty convenient to blame someone else for not going after what you want. She constantly complained she had nothing but alone time, so where were her efforts and dreams then?

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it wasn’t lonely for her, or that she didn’t have her struggles. But you’re the best cheerleader ever. You showed up for my science awards, and for my graduation ceremony despite having just played a huge game. And as you pointed out yesterday, you were the biggest proponent of me going after that promotion. You gave me that awesome ‘go get ’em, tiger’ pep talk seconds before I stepped into the office for the interview.”

Damn the sun for setting and the streetlight at his back casting his face in shadows. It made him even harder to read than usual. A glimpse of white teeth accompanied the quirk of his mouth. “Are you saying I should slip into a cheerleading uniform instead of those tight pants that—as you pointed out—put my butt on display for the whole world to see?”

Considering the cold nipping at her skin, she welcomed the flush in her cheeks. “Definitely. And the shorter the skirt, the better. I’m so sick of the nasty side effects the radioactive spills I’ve attempted in my lab to give me X-ray vision have caused. It’d be way easier on me if I didn’t have to try to see through those tight pants to get a peek at those strong hairy thighs.”

He chuckled, and so did she, until white puffs left them semi-shrouded in their own little cloud. “I think I’d miss the ‘good game’ pats too much to trade in the spandex.” He twisted and popped out a butt cheek.

The crunch of approaching footsteps implied their families had reached the last step of their however-many-point goodbye, so Julie quickly smacked his butt—hey, it was a rough job, but someone had to do it.

Then Rashad and Darlene rounded the SUV in their matching red tie and dress outfits, and her and Gavin’s fleeting alone time had been gobbled up. While she’d enjoyed their ride through town, a sense of urgency filled her, leaving every nerve ending screaming.

In two more days, they’d go their separate directions, and life would get hectic in that way it always did. Gavin would have the team to focus on, then playoffs, and whatever came after.

She’d have organs to dissect and the supervisor position to attend to that’d keep her extremely busy for the foreseeable future. They might not be able to pull off a long-distance relationship, but at the same time, she didn’t want to return to Arizona filled with regret. Didn’t want to have to always wonder what could’ve been.

Yet she also couldn’t stand the idea of losing Gavin as a friend. Almost as much as she couldn’t stand the idea of going their whole lives without testing how good they could truly be together.

There had to be some middle ground. A way to cross lines without getting tangled in them.

Gavin helped her into the back of the Frosts’ SUV, keeping hold of her hand even after her seat belt was secured in place, and Julie decided Grams might’ve had the best advice after all.

Seize the moment. Regardless of how much the after part might hurt.