Chapter Twenty-Six

Gavin kicked himself for his earlier denial. The longing that’d flickered in Julie’s features at his parents over-the-top display of affection, followed by smiling at him, suggested she was starting to envision a possible future like that.

He’d done his best to not overreact to her earlier question about settling in Crystal Springs and kids in pageants, surrounded by grandparents. She often spoke in hypotheticals, but it was becoming painfully obvious she had a finger hovering over the fast-forward button, too, same as their parents.

What a mess he’d landed himself in, and while he’d lamented his minor injury and being unable to join his teammates this past week, he’d savored his time here with his family. And of course that included Julie.

But for the first time since his arrival, he anticipated climbing on a plane and getting the hell out of Colorado. Too many more hours here at home, and he was afraid he’d destroy years of friendship, all because he hadn’t kept his libido in check.

“…and we’re especially grateful for the friendships we’ve formed, and the love—both old and new—filling this room,” Grandpa Frost said as he wrapped up the blessing on the food. “Amen.”

Gavin gripped the edges of his chair, doing his best to bottle his aggravation over the fact that even prayers were filled with hints regarding him and Julie. Covertly, he glanced at the time.

Two and a half more hours, and then I’ll fly to Jacksonville and life will return to normal, and I won’t have to deal with any of this until next year, when they repeat their shenanigans.

He, however, would not be repeating his.

At that thought, the strings in his heart gave a sharp tug. Naturally, they chose to go in Julie’s direction. Great. Now even his own body was against him.

When the potatoes came around, he spooned them onto his plate. Afraid of what he’d see if he looked at Julie for too long, he kept his gaze on his food as he passed the bowl. The cycle repeated until each dish had circled the table and then everyone dug in.

The chefs were complimented, and people chatted about the upcoming new year, how long they thought last night’s fresh layer of snow would stick around, and if spring would be mild or harsh. With Colorado, it was anyone’s guess.

“Before you know it, it’ll be summer again. And summer’s so very lovely in Crystal Springs.” Why was Mom aiming her words at him? As if he didn’t know that information already. It was a lot cooler than the humid summer he’d spent in San Antonio this past year, but his family would have to accept he didn’t live here anymore.

Neither did Jules, for that matter, and it took every ounce of his restraint to keep from yelling that out.

“June is my favorite,” Peggy said, glancing from him to Julie.

Gavin felt Julie’s gaze, but he couldn’t look back. Any other year they’d roll their eyes together, but he was too afraid that this time, he’d discover she was suddenly on the same page as their mothers.

How could he get through the rest of this evening without hurting anyone? While two and a half hours didn’t seem very long, moments ago, it’d be an eternity if they were going to hurl hints as subtle as bricks at his head.

Peggy nudged Ed, and he lifted his head, appearing as if he’d awoken from the food coma he’d experience later. “Huh? Oh, I mean, yes. June is a great time of year.” He lifted his fork to his mouth, but Peggy arched her eyebrows, indicating he wasn’t quite finished with his part of their scheme. “Right before training camp starts up, too. Isn’t that right Gavin?”

He stared evenly, neither confirming nor denying.

Ed crinkled his forehead, glanced at his wife, and then continued, “A good time for family to visit and for us to gather together to celebrate again.”

Grams O’Neill brought a hand to her chest. “Weddings are the best celebration of all.”

Beside him, Julie blew out a heavy breath, and he dared a peek. The exasperation in her features indicated she was over the topic as well. “The jig is up,” she said. “Pretty sure we’ve established that.”

“We’re just excited is all,” Peggy said.

“And grandkids keep parents healthier and younger, don’t you know,” Mom chimed in.

“That’s it.” His chair legs squealed against the tile as he pushed away from the table and stood to address everyone. “Jules and I are goddamn adults who can make our own decisions, and you can’t push us into something neither of us wants. We only had sex the one time, and it’s gonna be the one and only at that. If not because we don’t live in the same state and have busy lives of our own, just so we don’t have to deal with this constant overstepping. Last night was a lapse in judgment, so cut it with the hints of marriage and grandchildren already. It’s never, ever gonna happen.”

Julie stood up so quickly, her chair tipped over. Good. Now she could echo his words and they could end this for once and for all.

Only instead of turning toward their meddling family, she tossed her napkin on the table and turned to face him. “Lapse in judgment? Ouch.”

Hearing the phrase from her acted like a mirror that showed him how harsh it’d sounded. Panic bound his lungs, his attempt at taking control of the situation slipping from his fingers. “Shit, Jules, that’s not what I meant.”

He reached for her, but she jerked away from him. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I heard you loud and clear, even as you were doing the exact thing they’ve been doing, assuming they know what’s best for me and what I want without bothering to ask.”

Wait. Did that mean…?

Julie turned from him to address the rest of the family. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to…” Her voice cracked on the last word and tears brimmed in her eyes. Then, without finishing the sentence, she stormed out of the dining room.

“Jules, hold up.” He rushed after her, swearing at how fast being upset made her, but he managed to snag her wrist halfway through her sprint across the living room. Right in front of the Christmas tree, with its cheery ornaments and blinking lights, so at odds with the current mood. “I’m sorry, okay?”

She spun to face him, and at the sight of her giant tears, a sharp pain pierced him square in the chest.

“I’m not trying to be a dick here, but I did ask,” he argued. “Last night I asked if you were sure, and I thought you understood that meant it was gonna be a one-night thing—seize the moment, as you said. I told you I can’t deal with a relationship now, much less a long-distance one.”

“Well, I was sure, but I’m also allowed to change my mind. And silly me, I thought that maybe, now that we know how amazing we are together, you might change yours. I even had a whole plan to figure out how we could try to make it work.”

Fuck, fuck, and double fuck. He should’ve known she was in too vulnerable a place to go from sex buddies back to just buddies. The blood pumping through his body turned into shards that sliced from the inside out and robbed him of breath.

Still, he had to be honest—it wouldn’t do either of them any good to provide false hope. “Well, I didn’t, and I’m not gonna. I meant what I said. I just can’t. Not right now.”

More tears spilled down her cheeks, and he felt so damn helpless, he was certain his muscles had been rendered useless. Finally he forced one heavy arm to move, choosing his right, since he deserved the twinge in his shoulder. He wiped at her tears with his thumb and whispered her name like a prayer.

“Please don’t, Gavin. It’s only making it worse.” She pulled away from him, her face crumpling. With that, she turned on her heel and charged out the front door.

The slam reverberated through the room.

Then there was no noise at all.

He swung his attention to the archway leading into the dining room—for what, he wasn’t sure, as he’d just told his entire family he didn’t want their help or interference.

There they sat, heaping plates of food in front of them, several mouths hanging open in shock and disappointment.

Glaring at him like the jerk he’d ended up being.