Clare had never experienced such anger before.

Two weeks on and it was still white hot, bubbling just beneath the surface. She had never realised how all-encompassing anger could be, how it could invade every waking thought and make her muscles tense with no conscious effort. Only when her jaw started to ache did she realise she was clenching it again. It was an automatic reaction now every time an email or text message arrived or when she glanced at her mobile and saw the missed call icon. Or even when she just thought about him.

‘You should do something you enjoy to distract yourself,’ Clare would counsel her clients when they revealed how anger affected their lives.

While it was worthwhile advice, Clare discovered it could certainly be expensive, and after the facial, pedicure and aromatherapy massage last weekend she decided on the cheaper option of a movie this week.

As she stood in the queue waiting for Cinema 12 to start seating, Clare dived into her handbag for her phone. Glancing at the screen before she switched to mute mode, she raised her eyebrows in surprise – there was nothing from Matt. Maybe he was finally getting the message or maybe it was just a bit early in the night for him to start harassing her.

It was ironic really, as a health care professional she spent her days advising others how to deal with their emotions and yet Clare couldn’t bring herself to communicate in any way with the man she had recently moved 2000 kilometres for.

She had never considered herself and Matt to be a “perfect couple”, but the truth was they rarely fought. Matt was the epitome of laid back, so much so he was almost horizontal, and she prided herself on being calm and level headed. Having spent so much of their early relationship separated by distance they had learnt to make their time together count, which meant not wasting precious moments in conflict.

In hindsight maybe that was not such a good thing, Clare acknowledged as she filed into the cinema with the other movie goers. And in all fairness she should probably take the blame for that. Because the truth was, meeting Matt had allowed her to feel organised and efficient for the first time in her life. It had taken some getting used to that she wasn’t the one who was running the latest or who had misplaced the plane tickets or the car keys. So she had always laughed about it, and even encouraged it by insisting she loved him just as he was.

And now it had come back to bite her. What was the old saying – it’s all fun and games until somebody loses an eye?

There was being charmingly absent minded and then there was being just plain careless. And she was the one paying the price.

 

* * * * *

 

It took the cab driver a while to find the hall. Although Matt was familiar with certain areas of Melbourne now, others were just a name on a map – like Forest Hill – so he wasn’t much help with directions. He had planned to slip in right at the last minute anyway, but was now actually five minutes late.

Jogging up the concrete steps he paused for a moment to look at the poster advertising tonight’s lecture. The diamond ring and bright red text announcing “The Perfect Proposal” had no doubt drawn in plenty of guys looking for some inspiration, guys like him who needed a bit of help.

Smiling apologetically at the young woman on the front desk he extracted a fifty-dollar note from his wallet and handed it over.

She was brisk and efficient. ‘There you go, that’s twenty dollars change and your ticket. It’s already started so you’ll have to sneak in quietly.’

‘Sure, no worries,’ Matt replied. Slipping his wallet back into his pocket he started walking towards the door, but hesitated before going in. Turning back he asked the young woman, ‘So have you seen the presentation?’

‘Oh yes!’ she enthused. ‘It’s fabulous.’

‘So I’ve heard,’ Matt murmured, reconsidering yet again. Maybe he shouldn’t be here? Clare would definitely not approve of him gate crashing her lecture. But then again it was a free country and he had paid his admission like everybody else. Besides he hadn’t seen her for three weeks and was starting to get desperate.

The door was old and heavy and almost impossible to sneak through. Inching it open, Matt squeezed through the smallest gap possible. Once inside he breathed a sigh of relief. The lighting was muted, focusing on the speaker at the lectern, not the audience. There were a couple of spare rows at the back so it would be a simple matter to just slip into the darkest corner without being noticed.

Gently easing the door closed with only the tiniest click, Matt made his way over to the left, careful to tiptoe on the wooden floor. Unfortunately, however, he didn’t notice the music stand that had been placed right at the back and bumped straight into it, knocking the metal frame to the floor with an almighty clang.

It was one of those horrible moments where everybody in the room turned and stared, including Clare, whose words he had so rudely interrupted. Matt’s breath caught in his throat as he and the woman he loved so much locked eyes for just a second before she looked away, clearly annoyed.

Sinking down into a chair Matt buried his face in his hands. She was going to kill him.

 

Matt had known he wanted to marry Clare fairly early into their relationship. After meeting her he finally understood why he had never felt even the slightest urge to take the plunge with any of the other women he had dated, despite the fact that several of them had made their expectations very clear.

Even though he had been dead almost twenty years now, Matt could clearly remember the advice his dad had given him on his eighteenth birthday. Out for their first official drink together, Matt had literally cried into his beer because his first serious girlfriend had just dumped him.

‘If this is what love feels like I don’t want it,’ he had sniffled.

‘Matthew, that’s how you tell the real thing, she won’t make you feel like this,’ his father had reassured him.

And in all honesty no other woman had broken his heart in the interim; it was always he who backed away. Not because he was trying to avoid commitment, rather because he knew it just wasn’t the real thing his dad had talked about.

Of course people assumed if you were single and in your mid-thirties then there must be a reason. It was often the pivotal question women asked on a first date.

‘You seem like such a nice guy – why are you still single?’

‘Because I haven’t met the right woman yet,’ he would reply.

It was a simple and honest answer, but was often met with scepticism.

Matt could understand that to a point. After all if you met the love of your life when you were young, you probably assumed love came easily to everybody. But he knew that just wasn’t the case.

His mother thought it was because he was too comfortable in his carefree bachelor lifestyle.

The women at work told him he was being too picky.

His cousin Darryl told him it was because he had never tried internet dating.

Matt knew it was for none of those reasons and held firm on waiting for the real thing, although he had to admit there were moments of doubt as he watched all of his friends and then his younger sister get hitched and start reproducing.

But then, just when he was wondering if, in fact, there was something seriously wrong with him, Michael Buble’s words had hit home. Clare had “come out of nowhere and into his life” and he understood what his dad had been talking about. Unlike many men he was comfortable with the idea of getting married, unfortunately he just had a problem with proposing.

 

Even if Matt didn’t know and love Clare he would have been impressed with the evening. Full of practical advice delivered in Clare’s trademark no-nonsense style, it was actually kind of fun. He had little doubt that most of the men there had been ordered or at the very least coerced into going by their girlfriends or partners but most seemed to be enjoying it and interacting, which was obviously the whole idea.

‘All right, now we’re at the critical point,’ Clare announced, back at the lectern after mingling with various groups during the last discussion time. ‘The proposal.’

She paused dramatically, allowing the words to permeate around the room.

‘The proposal is the big moment, right?’

She was answered by a barrage of nodding and some mumbled yeses.

‘It’s the moment that your other half puts all the emphasis on.’

More nods.

‘Would you say it sets the tone for a marriage?’

At least half the audience nodded.

‘Do you feel like it has to be perfect?’

A barrage of nods this time.

Clare sighed dramatically. ‘Oh dear! Well if that’s what you believe I predict that both you and your beloved are in for some disappointment.’ With that she raised her eyebrows and nodded meaningfully, locking eyes with Matt in a way that made him feel very nervous.

‘Of course social media has a lot to answer for,’ Clare continued. ‘Fifty or even twenty years ago most couples only shared details of their engagement with their closest friends and family but these days it’s all over Facebook and YouTube. I get it, I know that puts you guys under a lot of pressure.’

Pausing, she met Matt’s gaze again and this time he saw the hint of a smile on her face.

Matt immediately slunk down in his seat, realising with a jolt that she was going to somehow involve him. What an idiot he was for coming! Please don’t, he pleaded silently. Please, please, please don’t make me do something…

Alas, his pleas remained unanswered as Clare resumed her speech. ‘Gentlemen, I believe there is nothing like a true story to illustrate a point and I’m sure among you there is somebody who would just love to share their own experience, good or bad, with the group. Having read through your questionnaires I know there are many case studies we could discuss.’

Unsurprisingly, almost every head bowed at that point to avoid making eye contact with Clare, everybody else as desperate as Matt to avoid being singled out.

‘Oh, come on gents, it’s not that bad! How about I nominate someone? Yes, that’s a good idea. Let’s see, hmmm, what about you sir in the very back row?’

Matt kept his eyes down in the hope Clare would choose somebody else, but of course she didn’t.

‘Come on now sir, yes I can still see you – black hair, green hoodie … I’ll just send the roving microphone down to you.’

Matt slowly raised his eyes and shook his head, but only as a token gesture. Like it or not, he was about to bare his soul to the world, or at least to a room full of strangers.

 

* * * * *

 

Even though breakfast service at the Windsor started at seven o’clock, the dining room was still quiet when Matt arrived just after eight. It didn’t surprise him though, in fact it was one of the things he had come to expect from Melbourne. It took longer for the day to get rolling down here, unlike Queensland where everyone tended to be up and about early. He didn’t consider it a bad thing, just one of those little observations you make about different places.

Matt had decided it had a lot to do with climate. Take this morning, for example, upon looking out the window he noted it was a cool, overcast morning. By eight in the morning in Brisbane in late spring, you pretty much knew what how the day was going to turn out. Not so in Melbourne though. Melbourne didn’t hit her straps until mid-afternoon, with the late afternoon generally being the hottest part of the day. The people were similar. Not too many ventured out early, but as the day wore on they gradually emerged, doing most of their socialising in the afternoon or evening.

The waiter’s voice brought him back to the present. ‘Table for one sir?’

Matt sighed deeply. ‘Yeah,’ he answered forlornly. ‘Table for one.’

 

Although he had initially considered himself too depressed to eat much, Matt still managed to put away a two egg omelette, three rashers of bacon, two sausages, toast and coffee. Patting his mouth with a monogrammed linen napkin, he took in his luxurious surroundings and tried to be enthusiastic about it. After all it wasn’t every day he ate breakfast at The Windsor or stayed in the exclusive Victorian Suite. In fact it was the first time he ever had.

‘Cheer up sir, it might never happen.’

Matt looked up to see a waiter with a coffee pot.

‘You look like you won the lotto and lost your ticket,’ the man said, leaning over to refill Matt’s cup.

Matt smiled wanly. ‘I think that might have been less depressing,’ he replied.

‘Oh dear,’ the waiter said. Around sixty with greying curly hair, he was as lean as a greyhound and had a kind face that invited the sharing of confidences. His name tag read Barry.

Realising how pathetic he sounded Matt shook his head. ‘Sorry, this was supposed to be a really awesome weekend and it’s turned out the exact opposite. No offense to your beautiful hotel of course.’

‘None taken. Obviously it’s something pretty major if The Windsor can’t work its charm on you.’

‘Oh yeah, it’s major all right.’

Looking at his watch Barry glanced at Matt thoughtfully. ‘Tell you what, my shift finishes in ten minutes and I’ve got nothing on this morning. You know Pelligrinis?’

‘Yeah, of course.’

‘Meet me there in an hour. We’ll have some decent coffee and you can tell me what’s on your mind.’

‘For real?’ Matt replied.

‘Of course. What’s the worst that can happen? I could make you even more depressed than you are already?’

With nothing better to do and his flight home not until five Matt nodded his agreement. ‘Sure, why not?’

 

Fortified with a double espresso, Matt told Barry his sad tale. ‘I’m actually supposed to be celebrating my engagement this morning,’ he admitted.

Barry took a sip of his own espresso. ‘Oh, I see,’ he sympathised. ‘She said no, huh? Even after you treated her to the Victorian Suite? That’s harsh … and extremely expensive.’

Matt shook his head vehemently. ‘No, hell no, if that had happened I think I’d be suicidal.’

‘Right,’ Barry said slowly, raising his right eyebrow enquiringly. ‘So, something else catastrophic happened?’

‘No, I wouldn’t say catastrophic exactly,’ Matt mumbled. ‘More like a comedy of errors, culminating in me being here alone while my girlfriend is back up in Queensland.’

‘Listen Matt, you’ve dangled the carrot here, I need some details or I’ll die of curiosity.’

‘Righto, I’ll start at the beginning. My girlfriend Clare is from Melbourne, I’m from Brisbane, well I live on the Gold Coast now but you get the picture.’

Barry nodded.

‘Anyway, long story short, Clare moved up to Brisbane about six months ago after we long distanced it for a year. She still works down here one week a month and her parents still have a place here so we’re in Melbourne a lot, you know.’

‘Sure, sounds like a good deal, with Queensland’s weather and Melbourne’s culture.’

Matt nodded. ‘Something like that. Anyway, Clare’s a psychologist you see and although she never makes me feel like she’s analysing my behaviour I wanted to show her how much she means to me by orchestrating an amazing proposal.’

‘A very noble ambition if I ever heard one. So I guess that’s where The Windsor comes in?’

‘Yep. Melbourne is still really special to her and I wanted to take her to the grandest place here.’

‘Well, that’s The Windsor all right.’

‘Anyway, Clare’s working down here next week so the plan was to come down for the weekend. She couldn’t get a frequent flier flight until yesterday arvo, but I came down on Friday night. I told her I was catching up with a uni mate but it was really to get myself organised.’

‘Righto.’

‘So I booked in, got everything sorted and then she rings at three o’clock to say her work schedule has changed and she’s not coming until Wednesday.’

‘Oh and I guess you couldn’t make a big song and dance about it because you didn’t want to arouse her suspicions, right?’

‘Uh, huh.’

‘Well it’s a bummer all right and I know it’s a lot of money to spend, but can’t you just reschedule?’

‘I don’t know. It feels kind of like the opportunity has passed. I mean after all that effort and we couldn’t even end up in the same city on the same day? Maybe it’s not meant to happen because we’re such different people.’

‘Different in what way?’

‘Clare is really successful in her career. Besides counselling people she’s got a talkback radio slot back in Brissie and she’s becoming a big name on the corporate speaking circuit.’

‘Wow. And what do you do?’

‘I’m a journalist for a travel magazine.’

‘Nothing wrong with that. In fact I imagine you get lots of perks.’

‘Yep, definitely. How do you reckon I afforded to stay at the Windsor?’

Barry laughed. ‘I must admit you didn’t really fit the bill of our average clientele. Not that we don’t welcome every guest, of course.’

‘Of course,’ Matt echoed with a smile.

Barry shook his head. ‘Is that all you’re worried about, that she’s more career focused?’

‘It’s not just her career, she’s got her life totally sorted out and I’ve always just taken it as it comes. I’ve been told I’ve got a bit of a Peter Pan complex.’

‘Do you think that’s necessarily a bad thing?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Come on Matt, plenty of couples are opposites. Has she ever asked you to change?’

‘No, she’d never do that.’

‘Well there you go, you’ve got nothing to fear.’

Matt took his last sip of espresso. ‘Yeah, I guess you’re right.’

 

Matt contemplated Barry’s words as he mooched around Melbourne for the day. He had come to love the city and had even spent three months working there. The weather was the killer, a Queensland boy through and through, he just couldn’t acclimatise to the harsh winters.

Usually he and Clare had a great time on the monthly weekend visit whether it was just relaxing at home, taking in an AFL game (she loved the AFL, he had come to kind of understand it but would always be a League man), hanging in the city or visiting the art gallery, it was just fun being together.

It wasn’t like he had never been down there without her either. He had made some friends of his own in Melbourne and there was always someone from Clare’s extended family to visit. But today Melbourne just seemed cold and empty and he couldn’t wait to head back home.

Maybe it just wasn’t meant to happen in Melbourne, he decided as he stowed his backpack in the overhead locker. Flying with Jetstar so often, he had become a master at packing light so he didn’t have to pay for checked luggage.

His phone beeped just as he sat down. He couldn’t help but smile as he read Clare’s message. “Travel safe - I’ll come and pick you up. Missed you heaps xxxx”

Matt flicked a love heart smiley face back in reply then switched to flight mode and shoved the phone in his pocket, feeling his mood lift long before the plane took off.

 

* * * * *

 

Matt debriefed the situation with his best mate Liam and another friend Tom. It was a more civilised chat than he had envisaged. His initial thought had been a decent pub session but given that his mates were married with kids, the best he could arrange on short notice was a Saturday morning takeaway coffee in the park at Rainbow Bay. Tom had a brief window before he had to pick up his children from swimming training and Liam had enlisted his twin ten-year-old nieces Anna and Belle to babysit his ten-month-old daughter Milly so he could talk unfettered for a while.

‘So, you reckon it really was just bad timing?’ Matt asked, after he finished speaking.

‘Yeah buddy,’ Liam assured him. ‘There’s always variables you can’t control, especially when it involved planes and travel.’

‘I guess so,’ Matt sighed.

‘Come on mate,’ Tom said, ‘it’s not like you didn’t put the effort in.’

‘Totally,’ agreed Liam. ‘Although I must say, I’m pretty amazed you came up with The Windsor!’

‘Now I know for sure you never read my articles. Didn’t you see my feature on The Windsor last month? I interviewed a woman who organises romantic getaway packages and she arranged the whole thing for me.’

‘Okay busted,’ Liam admitted. ‘I’m just a bit behind on my reading at the moment.’

‘Yeah, you and Clare both. It was lucky on this occasion though.’

‘Yep, you might have lost a few points for originality,’ Liam agreed.

‘Maybe I dodged a bullet?’ Matt pondered. ‘Maybe Clare subconsciously sensed it was coming and backed off.’

Tom shook his head. ‘Are you kidding? Clare is a woman in her thirties, it’s not possible she doesn’t want to get married.’

‘Dead set?’

‘Yeah,’ Liam agreed. ‘Mate you’ve been together for eighteen months and Clare is a woman who knows her own mind. She wouldn’t be still hanging around if she didn’t want to be with you.’

Matt was still uncertain. ‘I don’t have a lot to offer her though. I was supposed to be a successful novelist by the time I was thirty.’

Liam lay down on the grass and closed his eyes. ‘Yeah that’s right,’ he chuckled. ‘You’re only six years behind schedule. How’s the brilliant, as-yet-unnamed book going anyway?’

Matt crushed his empty cup and threw it at Liam’s head. ‘It’s going about as well as that rusty, dilapidated Kombi van you’ve been restoring for the past decade.’

‘Hey, low blow! It’s really hard to get parts.’

The conversation was interrupted by the sounds of bickering. ‘Uncle Liam!’ Anna was shouting, ‘Tell her it’s my turn to change the nappy.’

‘They’re fighting about changing a nappy?’ Tom asked incredulously.

Liam smiley wryly, his eyes still closed. ‘They get a five dollar bonus for the gross ones. Sometimes I think they secretly feed her prunes just to make a profit.’

Belle ran over to where they were sitting and stuck her hands on her hips. ‘Uncle Liam it’s MY turn!’ she announced.

Liam sat up, stuck his hand in his pocket and extracted a handful of two dollar coins. ‘How about you share it for eight dollars?’

Belle considered for a moment then scooped the change into her hand. ‘All right,’ she agreed and ran off.

Tom checked his watch and took his last sip of coffee. ‘Okay, gotta head guys, but keep me in the loop hey?’

‘There’s a loop?’ Matt asked.

‘Yep, you’ve involved us now,’ Tom replied.

‘Uh huh,’ Liam agreed. ‘Run your next idea by us first and we’ll green light it for you.’

‘Who says you bogans know anything about awesome proposals?’

‘Says the single guy to the married men,’ Tom replied with a smirk.

Matt gave Tom the finger as he gathered his phone and keys.

Tom laughed as he walked away but Liam looked thoughtful. ‘All right then, I’ve got a bit more time to spare. Let’s thrash out some ideas for attempt number two.’

 

* * * * *

 

Matt paused for a moment and met Clare’s eyes for the first time since he had started speaking.

She was all business. ‘So,’ she said, ‘you were game to try again?’

‘Um, yeah, I was. Let’s face it, bad timing affects everybody at some stage.’

‘Yes, it certainly can,’ Clare agreed giving him one of her best cool stares.

‘And it wasn’t like the intention wasn’t there.’

‘That’s true.’

‘Uh, I suppose you want me to keep going with the story then?’ Matt murmured, desperate to break the tension.

‘Oh yes, definitely, we’d all love to hear what happened next.’

‘All right,’ Matt agreed, then cleared his throat and started talking again.

 

* * * * *

 

Although he hadn’t been doing surf patrol as long as Liam or Tom, Matt was still an established member of his local surf club. So, once the renewed proposal plan was hatched, it wasn’t too difficult to arrange a ride for he and Clare in the rescue helicopter one day, while it was on patrol.

A little more difficult to arrange was a careful configuration of words on white poster board up at Point Danger. Fortunately Liam’s nine nieces and nephews (plus a few of their friends) had willingly agreed to be the poster holders once he promised them all a season pass to Wet and Wild. It was just as well that Liam came from a big family and that Matt could get a 70% discount on theme park passes through work.

Matt tried to keep his expression normal as he and Clare waited to board the helicopter at Coolangatta. Well aware that he was liable to break into a stupid goofy grin if he concentrated too much on what was ahead, he leant in to hug Clare so she couldn’t read his face.

‘Wow, this is very nice,’ she said, hugging him back. ‘May I ask what inspired you to arrange all this?’

‘Does there have to be a reason?’ he replied, holding her a little tighter.

Clare gave him a little squeeze and then gently pulled away. ‘No, of course not. I was just curious.’

‘You always said you would love to have a ride in a helicopter. I mentioned it to one of the pilots ages ago and he finally got around to arranging it for me.’

‘And I’ve accused you of not listening to me.’

‘Yes, you have. Quite unfairly as it turns out.’

Clare punched him playfully on the arm. ‘Yeah I know, I’m such a nag.’

They grinned at each other companionably.

‘I didn’t think Liam was doing patrol today,’ Clare said.

‘He’s not.’

‘Then why is he standing on the balcony of the surf club with binoculars?’

Matt shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. What part of inconspicuous did Liam not understand?

‘Ah you know Liam, maybe he’s whale watching.’

‘Isn’t the whale season over?’

‘Yeah it is, but sometimes there are stragglers,’ Matt replied tetchily. Where the hell was the helicopter?

Clare eyed him curiously but didn’t press further.

‘Ah, look here comes our ride,’ Matt exclaimed as the chopper came into view. Now the moment was upon him he was hit with some serious adrenaline. Suddenly his heart began to pound so fiercely that he was sure Clare must be able to hear it.

Helping his fiancée-to-be inside, he gave Liam a surreptitious thumbs up and climbed in after her.

 

Matt had instructed the pilot to undertake his normal patrol sweep of the Gold Coast beachfront, finishing with a circle over Point Danger. Liam was ready on the ground to co-ordinate the posters. They had practised it endlessly in his yard and had the timing down to split second precision.

Clare clutched Matt’s hand excitedly as they lifted off and followed the sweeping coast down towards Surfer’s Paradise. It really was a stunning day and the sight of the rolling surf gleaming in the morning sun was so beautiful that Matt himself got caught up in it, forgetting for just a second the purpose behind the ride. This alone was enough to score him some serious brownie points, never mind the proposal.

The pilot caught Matt’s eye and raised one eyebrow enquiringly as he swung the helicopter around to head back south. Matt gave an almost imperceptible nod in response. In his opinion all women were ridiculously perceptive, but Clare was even more so. He felt she was several steps ahead of him at every turn. Just once he wanted to totally surprise her.

The adrenaline kicked back in as they neared Coolangatta. Sneaking a glance at Clare, Matt’s stomach flipped like it used to on the old Thunderbolt rollercoaster at Dreamworld.

‘Oh look, there’s Point Danger,’ Clare said, pointing into the distance.

‘Great spot,’ the pilot chipped in through his headset.

Matt and Clare both nodded in agreement before turning to smile at each other. They loved spending time up there, which was precisely why Matt had picked the spot.

‘Oh wow,’ Clare said.

Act cool, Matt told himself before answering in what he hoped was a calm voice. ‘What’s going on down there?’

Clare shook her head. ‘I’m not sure, but there’s definitely something happening.’

Matt worked hard to conceal his grin, but he didn’t really need to. Clare was too transfixed with what was happening on the ground.

‘Oooooh,’ she murmured, clasping a hand over her mouth.

Not wanting to be obvious, Matt hadn’t yet looked at the ground. Taking Clare’s hand he squeezed it tight. ‘So, what do you reckon?’

Clare’s eyes were still on the ground. ‘I honestly don’t know.’

Matt was back on The Thunderbolt again, but this time he was trapped on the top of the first loop, his feet dangling and his chest compressed hard against the harness. This surely must be one of the worst moments of his life.

‘What do you mean you don’t know?’ he rasped.

Clare still hadn’t looked at him. ‘I mean I can’t work out what’s going on. There’s a big group of kids running around like crazy things, some are holding pieces of paper I think and others seem to have thrown theirs away …’

‘WHAT?’ Matt replied, lurching over to Clare’s window and peering out. There was indeed a scene of bedlam on the ground. All fifteen of the children were spread over a twenty metre radius, some huddling together, others weaving in and out of the crowd that had gathered. Many of the pieces of carefully painted cardboard lay discarded on the ground, while others had been picked up by the wind that often hovered over the Point. Matt watched helplessly as a W and the question mark sailed over the edge of the cliff and down into the surf below.

Slumping back in his seat Matt shook his head in disbelief. What the hell?

Clare was still wrapped up in the happenings below. ‘You’re never going to believe this Babe, but Liam is down there. He’ll be able to give us all the details. I can’t wait! You know how well Liam can tell a story.’

‘Oh yeah,’ Matt replied darkly. ‘He’s got a lot of explaining to do.’

 

When he awoke from his drunken slumber the next morning Matt was sure he would never eat again. But, as always, by the time lunch rolled around he was in serious need of some grease and Maccas fit the bill. He had also finally gotten hold of Liam and pinned him down to a meeting time, once again in a park – this time at Coolangatta. It seemed that half his social life revolved around parks these days.

Surprisingly, Liam was already there when he arrived.

‘Hey,’ Matt mumbled sourly.

‘Hey mate,’ Liam replied, much more upbeat. ‘I’ll grab the food if you like.’

‘Yep.’

‘Cool. See you over near the swings in a sec,’ Liam replied. ‘Oh and can you keep an eye on the kids for me?’ he added as he disappeared across the road.

Matt shook his head. Typical Liam. He loved the guy like a brother, but sometimes he could willingly kill him. Spying Anna and Belle playing with Milly he found a spot in the shade and lay down on the grass.

The tantalising smell of a Big Mac roused him out of a semi-doze about ten minutes later. Struggling to a sitting position, he accepted the brown paper bag from Liam, noticing that Tom was there too.

‘Bumped into Tombo in the queue,’ Liam explained, plonking himself down near Matt.

‘Yeah I was glad to have an alternative to eating in,’ Tom said, choosing his own patch of grass. ‘It’s just not the same since they shifted. It used to be so awesome to wander into the old place soaking wet with sandy feet and kick back in the outside eating area.’

‘I’m hearing ya,’ agreed Liam, unwrapping his Quarter Pounder and giving a wave to the kids.

Tom peeled the paper off his own Big Mac. ‘Ah Matty, major bummer about yesterday, hey?’

‘I’ll say,’ Matt agreed, shooting Liam the filthiest look he could.

‘So …?’ Tom enquired, ripping his bag down the side and extracting a handful of fries.

‘So, I’m waiting for our buddy Liam here to tell me all,’ replied Matt. ‘How our carefully crafted fool proof plan went to shit.’

Liam shoved a huge chunk of burger into his mouth and followed it with a swill of Coke. ‘All right, all right,’ he demurred finally, ‘I’ll explain everything.’

 

Five minutes later Matt was still unclear about what had gone down. ‘A goanna?’ he asked incredulously.

‘Yeah, a goanna,’ Liam replied earnestly.

‘I’m still not getting why the goanna was such a problem.’

‘Mate, have you ever seen a really big one? They are a little bit scary.’

‘Well no, I don’t suppose I have. But couldn’t you just round the kids up, and keep them out of the way until it took off again?’

‘Well, you know what they say about hindsight being twenty-twenty. I thought it would be cool for the kids to have a bit of a look at him, you know? But then the goanna went a bit schizo, he came right up to Belle like he was going to run up her leg. So, she screamed and ran away, then all the kids got a bit excited and started screaming … and then the goanna was kind of trapped in the middle of this circle of hyper kids and it went even more schizo. Then some passers-by got involved and it all kind of snow balled. I honestly tried to round them all up again, but some of them had lost their placards … and I could see you had already been hovering a while …’ Liam glanced nervously over at Matt and shrugged helplessly. ‘I’m really sorry mate. I know how much you wanted to do it right.’

Matt tried to keep the dour look on his face but couldn’t stop the hint of a smile that broke through. ‘A friggin’ goanna. Of all the stupid, random things that could happen …’

Tom was the first to let out a peal of laughter. ‘Mate that is gold!’

‘It was actually kind of funny,’ Liam ventured, breaking into a grin.

‘Not for me!’ Matt snapped, fighting hard to keep a straight face.

Tom had given up trying to hold his laughter in. ‘Forget the dog eating your homework,’ he chortled, ‘The goanna ruined my proposal!’

 

* * * * *

 

Having come to accept the humour in the situation Matt smiled resignedly and nodded as the audience guffawed around him.

‘Wow,’ Clare said, ‘that’s a very unusual turn of events.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Matt sighed. ‘I seem to attract more than my fair share of them.’

‘And did this second failed attempt make your reconsider?’

‘Well, yeah, of course. I mean one bout of bad luck could happen to anybody, but two seemed like I was barking up the wrong tree.’

‘So you gave up then?’

Matt shook his head. ‘No I didn’t. As much as I was pretty devoed that I’d stuffed up twice, I still wanted to do it right.’

‘By right, you mean perfect?’

‘I guess I do – or did.’

‘All right then, don’t keep us in suspense, let’s hear what happened next.’

 

* * * * *

 

Matt’s sister, Elizabeth looked up from the pastry she was rolling out. ‘I reckon neutral ground’s the go,’ she announced.

His other sister Jill nodded emphatically. ‘Yeah, great idea!’ she agreed, as she sliced up a Granny Smith apple.

‘What?’ Matt asked drowsily, adjusting his position on the couch slightly. For such a little guy, his nephew Drew could be heavy when he was asleep. With Clare in Newcastle for yet another speaking engagement he was at a loose end and in need of a decent feed. Given that his mother was away on a trip to New Zealand, he had invited himself over to Elizabeth’s place for Sunday lunch. As it turned out Liz’s husband Scott was at work so Jill tagged along too. Faced with his super inquisitive younger siblings who knew him too well, it hadn’t taken long for the sorry tale to come tumbling out.

‘You should propose on neutral ground. Melbourne didn’t work and neither did Coolangatta – maybe it was because there was too much of each of you invested in those places.’

Matt was still trying to get comfortable. ‘Or maybe it was because my best mate couldn’t control a piece of native fauna.’

Elizabeth finished filling the apple pie and lay the pastry over the top. ‘Don’t be so hard on Liam – you know his heart’s in the right place,’ she said as she crimped the edges.

‘Yeah,’ Jill agreed, ‘he’s a sweetheart.’

‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ Matt grumbled.

Elizabeth put the pie in the oven and waddled over to the recliner. Lowering herself into it she patted her heavily pregnant belly and looked over at her big brother. ‘Don’t give up Matty. You are Clare are great together. Besides that we love her too and we desperately want her as our sister-in-law.’

‘Yeah,’ echoed Jill, moving Matt’s feet and plonking down on the end of the couch.

‘I reckon Dad would have liked her,’ Matt said.

The girls nodded their agreement, casting their eyes to the framed photo Elizabeth had on the wall. They still missed him every day.

‘Well, speaking of Dad, I know he’d be telling you to give it another go,’ Jill said.

‘He definitely would,’ Elizabeth agreed.

‘Yeah, I know,’ Matt sighed.

They all glanced at the TV where a documentary about Australia’s most expensive real estate was screening. Momentarily transfixed by a mansion overlooking Bondi Beach, Jill startled Matt when she suddenly sat up straight and slapped him on the leg. ‘That’s it!’ she exclaimed.

‘What’s it?’ Matt scowled, rubbing his stinging flesh.

‘Sydney!’

‘What about it?’ Elizabeth asked, looking at the TV again.

‘It’s right in the middle between Coolangatta and Melbourne and there’s no emotional attachment there for either of you, right?’ she asked Matt.

‘No, we’ve never actually been there together.’

‘Perfect!’ Jill declared, reaching for her iPhone.

‘It is a great idea,’ Elizabeth said, smiling encouragingly at Matt.

‘You really think so?’

‘Yes,’ Jill reinforced. ‘Leave it to me and Liz and we’ll arrange something super special.’

Drew woke up then, opening one eye cautiously and stretching lazily. Seeing Matt, he gave him a full faced grin. Matt smiled in return and held up his hand for a high five. ‘Hey Buddy,’ he said, ‘Let’s hope third time’s the charm.’

 

* * * * *

 

It was a perfect Sydney summer’s day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and although Matt realised it was probably his imagination, it seemed to be a particularly gorgeous shade of blue. As did the water in the harbour. Dozens of boats bobbed on the sparkling surface, while the ferries chugged steadily over their familiar routes. Sydney really was a beautiful city and today she was showing herself in all her glory.

Matt had to give it to his sisters. They had really come up trumps. Timing the long weekend to coincide with a prestigious conference at the Intercontinental Hotel where Clare was one of the keynote speakers, they had arranged tickets for a sold out theatre production at the Opera House, VIP passes to a red carpet movie premiere at Fox Studios and had somehow got them onto the set of Home and Away (although Clare denied watching it, everybody knew that she did). But getting them their own private area on the observation deck at Centrepoint Tower was the icing on the cake. How they had done it Matt did not know, but he wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Clare was a little unsure about being in the roped off space. ‘It says it’s for a private function,’ she said, her eyes darting nervously around.

Matt took her hand and gently dragged her closer to the window. ‘It’s fine. There’s nobody around.’

‘Yeah, but …’

‘No buts – they’ll tell us to move if they want to.’

‘All right, maybe just for a while – it’s amazing to have our own little space isn’t it?’

‘Oh yeah, absolutely.’

‘This has been such a great trip. I can’t believe all the stuff we’ve done. It’s like a big celebration, but I’m not sure of the occasion.’

‘Is that right?’ Matt replied.’

Clare eyed him curiously. ‘Yes, that’s right.’

Meeting her gaze Matt tried to look as normal as possible, but was sure his face would give him away. ‘The occasion is that I love you and I wanted you to be totally relaxed before your big speech tomorrow.’

Clare dropped his hand and planted both palms on her face. ‘Oh man, the speech!’ she murmured. ‘I can’t believe I haven’t practised it once since we’ve been here.’

‘You’ll be fine, it’s been good for you to have a break from it. You can go over it tonight.’

Clare dropped her hands and looked beseechingly at Matt. ‘You really think I can do it?’

‘You know you can. Think of all the other speeches you’ve done. You’re a natural.’

‘Yeah but this is the big one, it’s a huge audience with heaps of international delegates, not to mention it’s a really complex topic.’

Matt hugged her tight. ‘It doesn’t matter, you’ll still nail it.’

Clare returned the hug. ‘Well, how lucky am I to have my own personal speechwriter?’

‘Very lucky.’

They stood arm in arm for a moment watching the city bustle beneath them. Matt closed his eyes for a second and surreptitiously took a deep breath. Taking Clare’s hand he tried to decide whether or not to go down on one knee …

‘We’ll have to go to the computer room and print it out when we get back,’ Clare said as she gave his hand a little squeeze. ‘Lucky you had it saved on your memory stick.’

‘Memory stick?’

‘Come on Matt don’t muck around, you know how important this is to me.’

Matt’s blood turned to ice as he realised what he had done. Running very late for their flight, he had told Clare not to bother going back to her work to pick up her laptop and the printed copy of her speech as he had it saved on his memory stick. And he did. The only problem was the memory stick was in the centre console of Liam’s car, the car he had dropped them off in before heading off to go camping, in an area with no phone reception.

‘Oh, shit Clare, I’m so sorry!’ he mumbled. ‘I left it in the car …’

‘Yeah right. I’ve fallen for enough of your other pranks not to believe that.’

Matt hesitated, wondering if he could somehow get a message to Liam …

Clare studied his face for a second, then took a step back and looked at him, wild eyed. ‘Tell me you’re kidding.’

‘I’m such an idiot! I put it in there so I wouldn’t lose it …’

‘Matthew they are paying me a huge amount of money to deliver a half hour address tomorrow. You assured me I didn’t need my laptop and now you’ve just casually remembered you didn’t bring the memory stick. I can’t believe you! You’re so irresponsible and lackadaisical! You never take anything seriously!’

‘Yeah I do, you know I do! I really am sorry,’ Matt babbled. ‘I’ll rewrite it for you, we’ve got time.’

‘We can’t rewrite it without all the stats! You can’t just talk in general terms about the incidence of bipolar disorder in the community. Besides it’s got all the references to other authors, I can’t just regurgitate all that at will!’

‘Well we can get someone to go to your office …’

‘No we can’t! I’m the only one with weekend access – the fob is in my handbag.’

Matt had never seen Clare look that angry. Her normally friendly, open face was a dangerous shade of red and her green eyes looked like they were ready to shoot sparks. Desperately he tried to console her. ‘There must be something we can try …’ he ventured, willing his brain to come up with a magical solution.

Clare shook her head vehemently. ‘No, there isn’t. You have totally screwed up one of the most important moments of my career. I don’t even want to look at you right now.’

With that she stalked off in the direction of the lift.

Matt watched her go. He wanted to follow her, calm her down and try and come up with some crazy way out of the dilemma. Clare was always saying that problems were lessons in disguise. Yet he was struck with the most intense inertia he had ever experienced. His legs actually felt heavy and the roped off area seemed to have developed into some kind of weird force field that was holding him captive.

Leaning forward on his hands he peered out the window again. Was it just him or had the sky clouded over? Far below, the water looked choppy now and there was some kind of traffic snarl down on the street. How the hell had he botched yet another proposal?

This wasn’t just some silly hurdle, Matt realised. It was a clear sign, a divine tap on the shoulder. He and Clare were obviously not meant to get married.

End of story.

 

* * * * *

 

Matt paused, acutely aware of the silence in the room. Nobody was fidgeting or shuffling in their chairs. They were all focused on him.

It was hard to read the different expressions. Some seemed genuinely sympathetic and were silently telling him, “I’m feeling your pain buddy.” Others looked relieved, perhaps interpreting that they were right in not having taken the proposal leap. And the final group were fighting to hold back their laughter, reassuring themselves at least they weren’t that inept.

Clare cut back in then, skilfully presenting him with yet another question, ‘So Matt after three strikes you must have definitely felt like you were out, right?’

Matt didn’t look her in the eye. He couldn’t. He had already embarrassed himself enough for one night. ‘Yes, absolutely,’ he agreed.

‘Yet at the same time, these experiences must have taught you something, surely?’

Matt cleared his throat. ‘Um, they taught me that I was either the unluckiest guy in the world or that I really sucked at proposing.’

‘Anything a bit more insightful perhaps?’

‘Um, well, I was going on what other people considered the ideal proposal to be, instead of doing my own thing.’

‘Yes, that’s true, you should always follow your own instincts. But how else do you think you were subconsciously sabotaging yourself?’

Matt ran his hands through his hair and exhaled sharply. Wow, she was really making him pay for turning up uninvited. ‘I was trying too hard to conjure up “perfection”,’ he replied, holding up his fingers in air quotes.

‘Ah, perfection. Why did you think you needed perfection?’ Clare asked. ‘Didn’t you know that your girlfriend loved you unconditionally?’

Matt shrugged. ‘I guess I didn’t.’

‘How so?’

Matt sighed. ‘Deep down I was always scared that I wasn’t good enough for her.’

Clare turned her attention back to the audience. ‘And this, gentlemen is the problem. You get so wrapped up in what you think is the perfect proposal, that you forget about the marriage – which is what you should be focused on. Matt here should have resolved the issue he had of not feeling worthy by talking to his partner, or a counsellor, instead of challenging himself to an elaborate proposal to try and bolster his worthiness within their relationship.’

‘Hang on,’ a twenty-something man in the front interrupted. ‘We are only reacting to the pressure our girlfriends are exerting on us. They’ve all got really fancy ideas these days.’

‘That’s a valid point,’ Clare agreed. ‘But, again, it is covering a deeper problem. If your partner is more hung up on how fancy your proposal is than you as a person, I would see that as a red flag in your relationship.’

‘Sounds like the idea of marriage is just too hard these days,’ the same man said.

‘No it’s not,’ Clare assured him. ‘It’s definitely not,’ she emphasised. ‘You just need to go in better prepared and stop focusing on the wrong things.’

‘Hey Matt,’ asked a young man in the middle section. ‘You’ve gotta finish your story man. Where are you at now? Are you gonna try again?’

Matt shook his head. ‘No.’

‘So why are you here then?’ asked another man from the second row.

Clare looked over at him and raised her eyebrows. ‘Yes, that’s a good question gentlemen. But Phil up the front asked a question first – one I’m sure you’d all like the answer to. So what do you say Matt, are you going to bring the audience up to speed?’

Matt shook his head. ‘No I think I’ve said my piece. But you seem to have all the answers, so why don’t you finish it off for me?’

‘All right, I will.’

 

* * * * *

 

As always, Clare’s handbag was so full she couldn’t close the zip. So even though her phone was on silent, she could see the screen light up when it rang. Determined not to be one of those people who couldn’t get through a movie without looking at their mobile, she did her best to ignore the mini disco that was happening at her feet. But when it kept lighting up every minute or so, she had to give in and check.

Lifting her bag onto her knee she slid her phone out and did a double take when she looked at the screen. Thirteen missed calls from Matt! Remembering she was in a crowded movie theatre she held back from cursing out loud. This was getting ridiculous. She had been resolute in her need to create some distance between them. She needed Matt to realise just how seriously he had stuffed up this time and if she gave in to some drunken, wheedling, sweet talking he would never have any kind of growth experience.

Checking the time on her phone screen she shook her head in annoyance. Nine forty on a Friday night – typical pub time. He was probably absolutely hammered and full of remorse, yet again. Already thoroughly annoyed, she almost exploded when the screen lit up again in her hand.

Right! she thought, he’s going to get a piece of my mind!

Lifting her thumb to swipe and reject the call she glanced closer at the screen. It was a different number. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to get out of her seat fast enough to answer it, Clare had to let it ring out. But she had an uneasy feeling about it that quickly grew when a follow up text message from the same number appeared on her screen seconds later.

“Clare please call Melanie at the Emergency Department, Royal Brisbane Hospital on this number.”

This time Clare’s gasp was audible. Jumping to her feet, she jostled her way along the row, ignoring the dirty looks and sighs of annoyance and ran for the exit.

 

* * * * *

 

Clare had to pause then as the audience interrupted with a barrage of questions.

‘Hang on a minute,’ Phil said, ‘are you saying you’re the girlfriend?’

Clare nodded, just as Matt said, ‘She’s actually not my girlfriend anymore.’

‘Okay, former girlfriend,’ Phil conceded. ‘Is this some kind of double act or something?’

‘Yeah,’ a hefty older man with a buzz cut interjected. ‘Why are you giving lectures about the perfect proposal if your bloke crashed and burned so badly?’

Clare held her hand up for order. ‘Please gentlemen, let me finish speaking. I can assure you that Matt was not invited here tonight, however, the fact he is here has given us an opportunity to learn from a real life case study. If you’ll just hear me out you may find out some pertinent information that may help you avoid what Matt and I experienced.’

‘All right,’ Phil agreed, ‘but if you don’t talk sense I want a refund.’

‘Yeah,’ a few others agreed.

Clare glared over at Matt as if to say, happy now?

He shrugged in return and pulled a face, hoping to get a smile in return.

He didn’t.

 

* * * * *

 

The Emergency Department waiting room was packed and very noisy. Closest to the front, several people were coughing ferociously, apparently victims of the latest virulent flu strain. A teenage girl vomited miserably into a five litre ice-cream container and a young man still dressed in his high visibility work gear cradled a bandaged wrist, apparently in a fair amount of pain. Dozens of other people of all descriptions perched uncomfortably on the remaining hard plastic chairs obviously determined to stay put, despite the sign which announced the approximate waiting time to be three hours.

Feeling a little guilty for jumping the queue, Clare made her way to the triage window and was immediately buzzed through when she explained who she was. Ignoring the howls of protest that erupted in her wake, she followed Melanie, the nurse who greeted her, in wide-eyed wonder. She had heard about the bedlam in hospital emergency departments on Friday and Saturday nights, but had no idea if it was run of the mill chaos or if there was some kind of major emergency in progress on this particular night. Every cubicle was occupied and the noise level was astounding, with the sounds of crying children mingling with groans of pain, the sounds of vomiting and drunken shouting. On top of all that were the sounds of the staff as they ministered to their patients and communicated instructions between themselves.

‘Can I get some more normal saline in cubicle three?’

‘Multi vehicle MVA on the way, we need to clear some beds!’

Melanie shook her head. ‘Great! Just what we need on a Friday night.’

Unsure how to respond, Clare just smiled sympathetically and continued to trail her until they reached a cubicle in the farthest corner. Pausing a moment before opening the curtain Melanie grabbed a clipboard from the wall and handed it to Clare. ‘I’ll just get you to fill in his admission papers. We’re so glad to get hold of you – we tried his mum but she didn’t answer and when we asked him he kept saying your name.’

Clare nodded and accepted the forms.

‘Sorry we haven’t really had the chance to clean him up yet,’ Melanie apologised as she flung the curtain open.

Clare’s hand flew to her mouth at the sight that greeted her. Matt was huddled on his side with his knees drawn up, apparently in pain, even though he was sleeping. Vomit stained the front of his navy blue t-shirt, his khaki cargo shorts were splashed with mud and the soles of his bare feet were filthy. But worse than that was his pallor. His face was a shade of grey that Clare had never seen and it frightened her. ‘Is he drunk?’ she asked.

Melanie shook her head. ‘No, we thought so at first but it’s actually severe food poisoning.’

‘Okay, so why is he so dishevelled and shoeless? Where did you find him?’

‘He was volunteering at the kids festival at the Ekka grounds this arvo. Apparently he was at the mud pie stand.’

Clare couldn’t help but shake her head fondly at her very own Peter Pan. ‘Do you know what he ate to cause it?’ she asked.

‘He said he had leftover Thai takeaway for breakfast, we’re assuming it’s that.’

Clare rolled her eyes. ‘It’s probably leftover from a week ago – he’s got a theory that as long as there’s no mould it’s okay to eat.’

‘That would probably do it then. Rice in particular can be nasty after a couple of days.’

‘Will he be okay?’

He’s been pretty sick, but now we’ve got the drip in and given him some medication he should start to settle down soon. We’ll need to keep him in for at least twelve hours and the drugs we’ve had to give him will make him pretty disorientated. Do you want to stay with him?’

‘Sure, of course. I can see you guys are totally run off your feet.’

‘Yeah, that’s pretty much the norm in Emergency. I’ll get him cleaned up and into a gown and I can get you a chair, but I’m afraid you may not get too much sleep in here.’

‘That’s okay.’

‘All right, here’s the vomit bowl and there’s a unisex toilet just down the hallway. He’s over the worst of it now, but he’ll probably still need to make a trip or two and he’s not real steady on his feet.’

Clare took a deep breath. ‘All right, no worries.’

Melanie grinned. ‘Wow, you’re definitely a keeper! I always reckon the true test of a relationship is whether or not a couple will look after each other when they’re sick.’

Clare shrugged and smiled wryly. ‘Well you’ve got to take the good with the bad.’

‘He’s a lucky guy,’ Melanie replied, smiling again before heading off to find a chair and a gown.

 

* * * * *

 

‘It’s amazing how seeing somebody you love in such a vulnerable position can make everything else seem so unimportant,’ Clare said. ‘All the anger I’d felt just kind of evaporated and all that mattered was that Matt was going to be okay.’

‘So, you’re saying you just forgave him for screwing up your career?’ Phil asked. Extending his hands to take in their surroundings he said, ‘I’m guessing this is a bit of a demotion from the other speaking work you’d been doing.’

Clare shook her head. ‘Actually it’s not. Sure it’s not as glamorous and it doesn’t pay as much but it is exactly where I want to be.’ Looking up at the audience and seeing the evident scepticism she nodded. ‘I’m not kidding. You see this situation also forced me to face up to some of my own issues.’

‘Psychologists have issues?’ a man in an Armani suit asked.

‘Of course we do, we’re human too. I already knew deep down that corporate speaking wasn’t my thing. I mean I was good enough at it and it really raised my profile, but it was keeping me away from what I love doing, which is helping people at a grassroots level.’

‘So why did you keep doing it?’ asked Phil.

Clare shrugged. ‘Peer pressure I suppose. All my colleagues seemed to think it was the right path for me to follow and the money was pretty amazing.’

‘Then missing your big speech was kind of a blessing in disguise?’ asked Armani man.

‘Well yeah. You see the truth was if I’d really wanted to I could have still done that speech. I could have tracked the security company down and got them to let somebody into my office and email or fax it to me. I could have even flown back myself and picked it up. It was just more convenient to have the decision taken out of my hands and blame Matt.’

‘I did stuff up though,’ Matt interjected.

‘Yeah, but we all do that sometimes. When you love someone you need to accept them for who they are. I love the way you take life as it comes. And I should have checked you had the memory stick, in fact knowing the way you lose things I should have put it in my pocket the moment I got in the car.’

‘Hang on,’ Phil said, looking first at Clare and then at Matt, ‘you said you’re not together anymore.’

‘No, I said she’s not my girlfriend,’ Matt corrected.

‘Huh?’

‘Okay, enough of the cryptic clues,’ Clare said, ‘there’s a little bit more to the story.’

 

* * * * *

 

It was one of the worst nights Clare had ever experienced. Willing herself to be comfortable in the plastic chair but failing miserably she only managed to nod off for five or ten minutes at a time before being awoken by drunken shouting, Matt’s need to vomit (twice) and visit the bathroom (once), several emergency alarms and the general noise of the ED. Still out to it on medication, Matt barely registered her presence beyond giving a woozy smile of recognition (although he did wake once and tell her she was beautiful).

The arrival of dawn seemed to bring with it a small sense of calm, although Clare was still amazed at the constant level of activity around her. It seemed that people were still violently ill, in pain or suffering heart attacks no matter what the hour. At least Matt was sleeping peacefully now, the combination of fluids and medication obviously having done their job. Although still drawn and pale, his face had lost the awful grey hue.

Just after six, a heavyset older woman poked her head around the curtain. ‘Oh, hello love I’m just here to mop the floor,’ she announced cheerfully. ‘Would you mind stepping out for a second?’

Clare stretched and rolled her neck. ‘No, that’s fine,’ she answered wearily as she stood up and opened the curtain. ‘I think I need to go and find some coffee anyway.’

‘Good idea I’d say love, you been here all night have you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Ah, poor thing. He’s much better now though, he was throwing up a storm when he first came in!’

‘He would have hated that, he’s hardly ever sick.’

‘Ah don’t worry, he was pretty out of it, I don’t think he realised what he was saying. Kept carrying on about his girlfriend and how he …’ her voice trailed off and she eyed Clare up and down before saying, ‘Are you Clare by any chance?’

‘Yes I am.’

‘Oh, right.’

An expert in body language, Clare immediately noticed the change in the woman’s demeanour. Those two words conveyed contempt and were a major turnaround from the cheery greeting she had bestowed earlier.

‘Is there a problem?’ she asked politely.

‘No, no problem,’ the cleaner replied briskly as she mopped around the bed.

Clare slipped into professional mode, giving the cleaner a thoughtful, considered stare. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked in a soft, measured tone.

‘Yes!’ the cleaner replied, pushing the mop harder as she cleaned the perimeter of the cubicle.

Clare continued to look at the woman, which had the desired effect.

Abandoning her mop and bucket she motioned with her head and directed Clare down the hall a little way.

A little alarmed at this point but not willing to show it, Clare stood and waited expectantly.

‘Look, this really isn’t my place to say,’ the woman began.

‘But you’re going to anyway,’ Clare replied.

‘Well, yes, I suppose I am. You young women today, you’re just too hard on blokes. They’re simple creatures really you know, they’re not designed to think about things the way women do.’

Sleep deprived, stressed Clare wanted to yell at the woman to mind her own business but professional Clare realised there was something lurking under the surface. ‘Okay, I’ll bite, just what are you getting at?’

‘Your young man in there – I don’t know what you’re looking for Clare, but he seems like a decent sort. I can’t believe you knocked him back.’

‘Knocked him back?’ Clare asked, ‘knocked him back from what?’

‘Oh come on, The Windsor, your helicopter ride, Centrepoint? What happened at those places?’

‘I don’t know what you mean. We’ve never been to The Windsor, the helicopter was fun but uneventful and we had a big fight at Centrepoint.’

The woman paled. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, really.’

‘Oh, oh dear, I think I’ve got my wires crossed. Yes, yes I have, I’m thinking of somebody different.’

‘No you’re not, you’re talking about events that involve me.’

The woman sighed. ‘You’re obviously a smart lady, I think you can join the dots.’ And with that she headed back to the cubicle and resumed mopping.

 

* * * * *

 

‘Now I know why you like Home and Away,’ Phil interjected. ‘You’ve got the same kind of drama happening in your own life.’

‘I don’t watch Home and Away,’ Clare protested.

‘She totally does,’ Matt stage whispered.

‘Thanks Matt, for that wonderful and inaccurate insight, but I think you can take it from here.’

‘Okay I will,’ he replied with a grin.

 

* * * * *

 

Matt knew his face must have registered his confusion as his eyes fluttered open the next morning. It took him a moment to focus, but when he saw Clare sitting by his bedside all other thoughts of where he was and what he was doing fell by the wayside. Although his mouth was dry and pasty and his stomach and head still ached, he couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face.

‘Clare,’ he murmured.

‘Yes,’ she replied.

‘You’re here.’

‘Yes.’

‘I love you.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why do you keep saying yes?’

‘Because that’s my answer.’

‘Answer to what?’

‘Yes, I’ll marry you.’

Matt rubbed sleep from his eyes and tried to focus better. ‘What?’

‘I said yes, I’ll marry you.’

‘But I didn’t ask, did I?’

‘No, no exactly.’

‘Then how did you know?’

‘It was something the cleaner said.’

‘The cleaner?’

‘Long story, but I worked it out. I realised what you’ve been trying to do.’

‘And stuffing up every time.’

‘There’s no such thing as a stuff up, just another life experience.’

‘And I seem to have more of them than average.’

‘Oh Matty, I adore you just as you are and I can’t wait to marry you.’

‘But that wasn’t a proper proposal, I needed it to be perfect.’

‘When did I ever say that’s what I wanted?’

 

* * * * *

 

‘So, you got engaged in a hospital emergency department?’ asked a bald guy in the fifth row.

‘Yep we did.’

‘Wow.’

‘Yeah, wow,’ Matt agreed. ‘After all the effort I’d gone to, all the expense and planning, my fiancée agreed to marry me when I was wearing a hospital gown and had a drip in my arm. I wasn’t even wearing my lucky undies, in fact I wasn’t wearing undies at all.’

Clare shook her head. ‘I think that’s just a little bit too much information.’

A smattering of laughter broke out.

Matt felt much more relaxed now that the guys were laughing with him and not at him. Still, he couldn’t help but add a final chapter to the story.

‘Just for the record I did ask her again in a proper setting.’

‘Where?’ Phil asked.

‘On the verandah of the house where we met.’

‘And this time it was perfect,’ Clare said with the smile that still floored Matt.

‘Yep, it was,’ he agreed with a grin.

‘Okay so you guys are love’s young dream,’ Phil said, ‘but can you guarantee the same result for us?’

Clare shook her head. ‘Of course not, there are no guarantees in life. The main thing I want you to remember is that it doesn’t really matter how and where you propose – you should put your focus on a long and committed marriage rather than a fancy engagement – and that means you need to sort out any problems on either side before you take that step. If there are weaknesses or problems in your relationship, proposing won’t fix them, it will just mask them for a while. I can guarantee once the honeymoon is over they will surface again with a vengeance.’

‘Yeah, but how do we get our girlfriends to understand that?’ murmured a thin man with a goatee, sitting in the back section. ‘It’s no good us getting our shit together if they don’t.’

‘Tell them to come along to my “Relationships Expectations” course for women,’ Clare replied with a grin.

 

Having been waylaid by several of the men in the audience, Matt avoided the pack up and was waiting when Clare came out into the foyer.

‘You are so dead!’ Clare said, with her best attempt at a frown. ‘I told you not to come, it makes me really nervous.’

‘But I missed you.’

‘I missed you too, but you could have just gone over to Mum and Dad’s and surprised me there.’

‘I wanted to see you in action and I wanted to get some material for the book. If I remember correctly you did engage my professional services.’

‘That would be why you’ve got a notebook or a recording device with you.’

Matt tapped his temple. ‘It’s all up here.’

Clare just shook her head and held her arms open. They hugged tightly and kissed passionately, delighted to see one another after so long apart. Clare’s touring schedule had been arranged in such a way to get all the presentations done in as short a time as possible, so as to give them more time together in the long run. But the separations were always hard.

Ending the embrace Matt took both Clare’s hands in his. ‘So,’ he said, ‘You really do love me just as I am?’

‘You know I do.’

‘That’s a relief because I accidentally left my iPad on the plane and I really want to go and pick it up tonight before it gets mysteriously misplaced.’

‘Seriously? Driving to the airport at 10:45 pm? You realise how far that is, right?’

‘Yeah, sorry.’

Clare shook her head. ‘You are lucky I love you just as you are,’ she said. ‘You can drive though,’ she added, throwing him the keys.

Matt caught them deftly and depressed the unlock button on the remote. ‘No worries as long as you direct me. I don’t know my way from out here.’

Clare just shook her head again but couldn’t hold back a smile. Opening the back door she dumped her satchel on the back seat before climbing in the front. After fastening her seatbelt she extended her left arm and admired the exquisite diamond on the third finger.

Matt fastened his seatbelt and flicked the lights on. ‘Nice ring.’

‘Yeah, not bad.’ Clare replied with a big grin. ‘I really like being a fiancée.’

‘So do I,’ Matt said, leaning in for a kiss.

Clare returned the kiss, then pushed him away playfully. ‘Steady on there mister, we need to make tracks out to Tullamarine.’

‘Yeah, all right,’ Matt sighed, turning the key in the ignition.

‘Okay, head on up to Springvale Road,’ Clare said with a yawn.

‘Sorry Hon, but we can sleep in tomorrow and our flight’s not until four.’

‘Oh you’re on my flight?’

‘Of course.’

‘Cool, it’s always more fun when you’re there.’

‘Ditto,’ Matt said.

‘Wow, I can’t believe that was the last talk for ages. It will be nice to stay in one place a while.’

‘So we’ll actually get to see each other every day?’

‘You bet and I hope you’re prepared Mr Ryan – we’ve got a wedding to plan.’