‘I wish I could afford better for you, Moll, but considering it’s not far from Scottie Road it could be worse.’ Frank slid both arms around her waist as she gazed about the sparsely furnished room, in the centre of which was an iron bedstead. ‘Although why you want to live round here beats me.’
‘The people are friendly and it’s not far from town,’ she murmured, not daring to mention its close proximity to Mr Barnes’s factory. She thought of what Doris had said about a bit of grandeur spoiling you. It was true. But at least here she wouldn’t have Mrs Collins continually looking over her shoulder. Although without Jessica she felt as if she was missing a limb.
‘It’s a tough neighbourhood but at least the food’s good… cheap and plenty of it.’ Frank nuzzled her neck and cupped her breasts in his hands. Molly turned in his arms to face him, thinking she could already be pregnant. If she was there had to be no doubt in his mind that the child belonged to him. She drew down his head and kissed him. Within minutes he had her on the bed. It felt strange being with him after so long and the palliasse, stuffed with straw that prickled, only added to her feeling of disorientation. She kept thinking his voice was all wrong, that it should be deeper, a baritone like Nathan’s, not a tenor. His lovemaking did not last long and that seemed wrong too.
‘It won’t be over so quick next time.’ Her husband lay on his side, watching her go over to the washstand. ‘But I needed that. I’ve had to wait a long time.’
‘That’s OK.’ She tried to concentrate on the times they had made love satisfactorily. It wouldn’t have worked tonight even if he had set out to pleasure her. She was too anxious, yearning for Jessica and filled with guilt. If Frank was ever to learn she had been to bed with Nathan, God only knew what he would do to her.
As if he could partly read her mind, Frank said, ‘What was he like, that bloke you worked for?’
‘Just a bloke.’ She felt panicky and needed to take a deep breath. Careful to keep her voice expressionless, she added, ‘Heartbroken when his wife died. Didn’t want to look at the baby at first. It was the midwife’s idea I should act as wet nurse. Not only to help him out but me, too.’ She allowed distress to seep into her voice. ‘I was on my uppers, Frank! There was me believing you dead and Nanna gone and then the baby… It was terrible.’
‘I can imagine. But you should never have run away. Ma would have seen you and the baby were OK.’
Molly was silent as she went back over to the bed and sat on the side of it, gazing down at him. He had beautiful eyes, the colour of dark chocolate. A much deeper shade than Molly’s but the same as Jessica’s. Molly considered it fortunate that Nathan’s wife’s eyes had been brown. Her heart. She was missing him as well as her daughter.
‘You’ve got to start thinking of yourself as part of a family, Moll,’ continued Frankie, ‘We’re in this world to help each other. We firemen aren’t paid a fortune. What working man is? But if we support each other, then we can get somewhere.’ She wondered what he was talking about. ‘And that reminds me, I must give you the money that was over after paying for this room. It’s ours for a month. Let’s hope you can find somewhere else soon.’
‘I’ll try. Are we going out now?’ She smiled at him, pulling down the bedclothes, telling him to get a move on, wanting to be doing not thinking.
They walked along Scotland Road, which was still alive with people despite the late hour. They gazed into brightly lit shop windows. Clarkson’s the pawnbrokers was doing a roaring trade as women redeemed their husbands’ Sunday suits or shirts. Come Monday they would be returned to the pawnshop. Poorly clad people lingered outside butchers’ shops and carts selling fruit and vegetables, waiting for the hour when a joint or a handful of bones, veg or fruit would be sold off cheaply. There was more than one drunk reeling from pavement to gutter as the pubs began to let out just after midnight.
Molly and Frank made their way back to their lodging where he made love to her again, this time with less haste. She found the experience pleasant enough. They slept and when they woke he asked whether Mr Collins had ever made any advances towards her. The question stunned her and she sought frantically for words to allay any suspicion he might have that there could possibly have been anything untoward between them. ‘He’s not as handsome as you,’ she managed. ‘Why should you think I’d fancy him?’
‘I wasn’t thinking of you fancying him,’ he said, curling a strand of her hair round his little finger. ‘More of his taking advantage of you.’
Molly’s mouth was dry but she managed a laugh. ‘Why should he? I’m not exactly a raving beauty, Frank.’
‘No, but you’ve got something.’ He drew her close. ‘And these rich blokes – looks have nothing to do with it, Moll. I remember reading somewhere that in the olden days the lord of the manor had his way with a man’s bride before the husband got to sleep with her.’
‘That’s terrible!’ She shook her head in disgust. ‘But Mr Collins is no lord. It’s his uncle who owns everything and he’s a gentleman, always as nice as pie to me.’
Those words seemed to satisfy Frank but she realised she needed to be on her guard about what she said if Nathan came up in conversation again.
It being Sunday Molly went to church and gazed about her with interest, wondering if this was one of the churches Nathan might do work for. Frank had a lie-in. Then they took the ferry to New Brighton. On Monday, after a huge fry-up with four Irish eggs, Frank said he had to go down to the docks. ‘Can’t hang about, Moll. Funds are short.’
‘So soon?’ She felt put out, having thought he would stay with her for a while. The last few days had been reasonably enjoyable. Frank could be very good company.
‘Sorry, luv, but you knew how it is. I’m short on funds. I’ll have to go and see Ma as well. She knows I’ve traced you so’ll be wondering what’s happened to us.’
‘I’d say, she knows me well enough to have guessed,’ said Molly lightly.
He frowned. ‘You’re wrong about her, you know. Why don’t you come with me?’
‘I’ve had one mother, Frank. I don’t need another.’ She reached up and caressed his cheek. ‘Besides, I’m sure you’ll find she prefers having you all to herself.’
He did not deny it. They kissed and he went out.
Molly went upstairs to tidy their room and wash a few things. She draped drawers and stockings over the back of a chair, then took out the two sovereigns and gazed at them. Why had she taken them? For security, with Frank saying he had little money if Mr Barnes changed his mind about giving her a job? Yes, they were for if anything should go terribly wrong and she had to fend for herself. She hadn’t really stolen them though she had been given them under a false premise. What about the other four left behind? She wondered. She should have taken the lot, she decided. It probably wouldn’t be long before Doris discovered them. She must have a word next time she saw her. Molly returned the coins to their hiding place and went out, having decided to visit Doris’s mother.
The house was only a few minutes away on the other side of the road in an area known as the race course district. Aintree Street was straight opposite the corner where the refreshment house stood, and Ascot Street ran off it. There were signs of poverty on all sides. Some of the children playing in the streets were barefoot; those who had shoes or boots more often than not wore no socks and their footwear was well-worn and often split across the toes. Tiny tots were sometimes clad in nothing but a grubby shirt or vest. There were houses with broken windows that had never been replaced, the holes blocked up instead with cardboard or filthy rags. Yet on this sunny August morning Molly could hear the sound of laughter and children at play and her ears caught the occasional snatch of song. Women were out scrubbing their steps and gossiping.
She found Mrs McNally cleaning windows with a handful of newspaper that smelled strongly of vinegar. ‘Hello, luv! What are you doing round here? There’s nuthin’ wrong with our Doris, is there?’ ‘There wasn’t last time I saw her.’
‘Then what can I do for yer?’
‘Could you keep your eye out for a house for me?’
‘Round here?’
‘That’s right. Me and my husband have lodgings in Athol Street.’
‘Husband?’ Her eyes widened. ‘I thought yer were a widow?’
‘Me too. But it was all a mistake.’
‘Really!’ Mrs McNally stepped down off the chair. ‘Why don’t yer come in and tell me over a cuppa?’
They went inside and Molly explained as the tea was poured.
‘Well, fancy that,’ said Mrs McNally, eyes as round as doorstops as the tale was told. ‘But you’re going to miss the family, aren’t yer? And be a bit lonely once yer fella goes back to sea.’
‘I’m hoping to work in Mr Barnes’s factory. Frank’ll be against the idea but he won’t know until he comes back.’ Molly bit into the Wet Nelly she’d been offered and syrup ran down her chin.
Mrs McNally shook her head in disbelief ‘You’ve got a nerve, girl, going against yer man. What if he finds out?’
‘Then I’ll do something else. Work from home. I’ve a sewing machine. Hopefully I can have it delivered once I’ve got a house.’ ‘Yer’ve got it all mapped out, haven’t yer, girl? Well, I hopes it works out for yer.’
So did Molly, although she knew that the best laid plans didn’t always come to fruition.
Frank arrived back an hour after her. She was surprised to see him so soon. ‘I thought you’d be ages at your mother’s?’
‘I’ve got a ship and it’s sailing tonight.’
‘Tonight!’ She could scarcely believe he would leave her this soon. ‘Where’s this one going?’
He hesitated and looked a bit sheepish. ‘China.’
She gasped. ‘But that’s the other side of the world, Frank! You’ll be away months.’
‘I’m sorry, Moll.’ He pulled her against him and rested his face against her hair. ‘But you knew what it would be like when you married me. I’d rather have a shorter trip but the money’s better, and besides, I’ve never been to China. I’ll be able to bring you some real nice trinkets.’
‘Trinkets?’ It took her all her self-control not to shout the word. ‘Why should I want trinkets, Frank?’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘Don’t you think it would be better if you found another ship?’
‘Jobs aren’t that easy to come by, Moll,’ he said, frowning. ‘I have to take what I can get.’ She saw then there was little use in trying to persuade him to change his mind. He wanted to go to China because he loved travelling. She thought of how she had left Jessica and had to quit her job, all for the sake of being with Frank for a few days. But she could not say any of that without him getting annoyed. So instead she drew away and poked him in the chest playfully. ‘You save your money and maybe we’ll be able to get a decent place one day, Frank Payne. I don’t want to live in a hovel for the rest of my life. Now what about your advance note?’
‘I had to pay that ’tec the rest of his money and give Ma a bit for my keep but I’ve some for you.’ He pulled her back into his arms. ‘I know you’re upset, I can understand that, but the sea’s my life, Moll,’ he said earnestly. ‘And don’t tell me what to do with my money. I like buying you things, so shut up and let me have my way. I won’t spend up.’
She was angry but put on a smile, knowing she wasn’t going to change him. ‘China! You’ll have to watch yourself, Frank. The Tongs and all that.’
He grinned and swayed sideways with her, to and fro. ‘Britannia rules the waves, Moll. There’ll be British warships out there guarding our interests. Besides I can look after myself.’
‘Aye, I suppose you can,’ she said dryly. ‘If you can survive a hurricane.’
‘A guardian angel that’s what I’ve got.’ He kissed her neck. ‘We sail from Birkenhead but you can see me off at the Pierhead. The sooner I go, Moll, the sooner I’ll be home.’
There was no denying that, she thought. But how could he say he loved her when he was prepared to leave her so soon after not seeing her for months, as well as giving money to Ma before her?
The bed felt empty that night. Surprising how quickly you could get used to sleeping with somebody, thought Molly. How quickly you could get used to having them around. The next day she felt low-spirited and decided to catch a train to Blundellsands, hoping to see Jessica.
But when she called at the back door Cook told her Doris had gone out for the day with Mrs Collins and they’d taken the baby. ‘They’re having trouble with her but the little love’s got a sunny nature as you know and’ll soon settle. God bless her,’ said Cook.
Feeling utterly dejected, Molly returned home.
The next day she decided she had to buck up her ideas. Putting on her Sunday best, she set off in search of the factory. She had been told it was situated off Vauxhall Road so walked down Athol Street in the direction of the docks. It was a long street and contained the local bridewell and fire station. All was hustle and bustle. It was here shipowners of the small trampers and bum-boats came to buy equipment from the marine chandlers, while ordinary seamen visited the grocers for straw to make up beds for when they were at sea. Mothers shouted at children with noses pressed against windows of sweet shops and herbalists. Yet they themselves paused to gaze at the displays in the pawnshops, which were a hotch-potch of the useful, the tawdry, and all that was most precious to those who had deposited items there.
Men, moustached or with beards covering half their chest, puffed on pipes as they gazed at the tools in one open-fronted chandlers’ store with its hooks and shovels, buckets and cobblers lasts. The shop drew the eyes of small boys and Molly had a picture of her own son doing likewise one day in her mind. Could she be already pregnant? If she was, whose child was it?
She reached Vauxhall Road. Here was where the wealthiest men had their businesses. Her fascinated eyes took in the names of seed crushers and oil refiners; merchants selling tallow, paper, coal, timber and marble. Soap manufacturers rubbed shoulders with beer distillers and sugar refiners, and they in their turn gave way to the Anglo-American Oil Company.
She came to the factory, a red brick building with lots of windows. A short flight of steps led to the entrance. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and opened the door.
‘Can I help you?’ said a voice.
Molly approached a hatch in the wall to her left and saw a young man leaning back in a chair, toying with an elastic band and a matchstick. ‘I need to see Mr Barnes,’ she said, putting on her poshest voice.
He jumped to his feet and fixed her with a stare. ‘You were at the McNally s’ the other week. If you’re looking for a date, I don’t mind taking you out. There’s a good show on at the Roundy.’
Molly could not help smiling. ‘I’m glad to see my efforts weren’t wasted. But I’ve come to see the boss.’
‘Oh, yeah! And why’s that?’
She leaned across the counter and whispered, ‘I’m a secret agent from another factory and I want to know what magic makes his candles burn longer than any others.’
He grinned. ‘You’re mad! Why are you really here?’
She drew herself up to her full height. ‘I told you – to see Mr Barnes. He said there’d be a job for me here.’
‘You’re out of luck, luv. He’s gone to Yorkshire.’
Molly’s face fell.
The man looked sympathetic. ‘What job was it?’
‘In the Sewing room, I hope.’
He scratched his thatch of fair hair. ‘In that case you could perhaps see Mrs Arkwright. She’s from up Lancashire, with an accent you can cut with a knife. You’re a woollyback, too, by the sound of it. You didn’t fool me with your put on accent.’
‘That’s rich coming from a Liverpudlian! You lot talk through your noses. We’ve a county steeped in history,’ she said proudly.
‘We’ve got plenty of that here too. If you’ll keep your eye on things, I’ll fetch her. Although I’m not supposed to leave my post unattended.’
‘Then you shouldn’t be leaving it, should you, Jimmy?’ said a cold voice.
Their heads swivelled.
Molly stared at Nathan, her heart performing the most peculiar somersault. He was nursing a broken arm and did not look pleased to see her one little bit. ‘Mr Collins,’ she stammered. ‘You’ve hurt yourself.’
‘Clever of you to spot that. You’re the last person I expected to see here, Mrs Payne.’ His grey eyes reminded her of shards of broken ice, chilling her to the marrow.
For a moment she was lost for words, remembering how he’d behaved when they had parted. Had he really loved her then? Or had he used her as Doris had said? Molly knew so little about men. At last she managed to find her voice. ‘I came to see your uncle. He said he’d give me a job.’
‘Did he now?’ Nathan placed a hand on a door marked WAITING ROOM. ‘You’d best come in here then. We’ll discuss it.’
She hesitated only a moment before walking into the room, head bowed.
He closed the door behind them. ‘You were flirting with Jimmy.’ His tone was definitely unfriendly.
Her startled eyes lifted to his. ‘That lad? You must be joking!’
‘You were making eyes at him.’ Nathan flung the words at her as he paced the floor, right arm stiff between its splints.
‘I was being friendly, that’s all.’
‘You were distracting him from his work.’
‘Well, I like that!’ said Molly indignantly. ‘I thought dealing with callers was his work.’ She placed her hands hard down on a table in the middle of the room, never having thought they would be having such a conversation.
‘To do with business, aye.’ He paused on the other side of the table.
‘I am here on business. I told you, your uncle promised me a job.’
His angry eyes rested on her flushed face. ‘It’s out of the question, your working here.’
‘Why?’ she said stubbornly. ‘I need the money.’
‘You’re a married woman. Let your husband keep you. I don’t want you here.’ He cradled his right arm in his left, looking exhausted all of a sudden.
Her ready sympathy was roused and she moved round the table towards him. ‘Does it hurt?’
‘Of course it bloody hurts.’ He turned his back on her. ‘I think you’d best go now.’
‘But I don’t want to go. Let me explain about Frank…’
‘I don’t want to know. I just want you out of here. That’s an order. And I’m the boss here.’
‘Nathan, I had to go with him. He’s my husband.’
She touched his shoulder and he turned, looking no friendlier than he had minutes ago. ‘Funny. There was me believing you a widow when all the time you were just a runaway wife, trying to make your husband jealous.’
She was astounded. ‘That’s not true! I believed him dead!’
‘So you say,’ he sneered, lip curling. ‘But what does it matter in the long run? The end’s the same. You’re still married. So just go, Mrs Payne. I owe you some wages. I’ll see you get them.’
Molly was so hurt she lost her temper. ‘You can stick your money where Paddy stuck his ninepence, Mr Collins!’ she said in a quivering voice. ‘I was no runaway wife and I am no liar! Good day.’ She flung the door open and marched out.
‘Molly, come back here!’ he yelled. ‘I haven’t finished with you.’
‘But I’ve finished with you! I’m not being spoken to like that.’ Her heart was thudding so fast she thought it was going to burst through her skin, lift off and take her with it. Who did he bloody think he was, calling her a liar? She heard footsteps behind her and, not wanting to speak to him again, she lifted her skirts and ran.
She raced along Vauxhall Road, aware of feet thudding behind her. The interested faces of carters, labourers and dockers flashed by but Molly took no notice of them, putting on a spurt before darting down Lightbody Street by the gasworks. Her breath was burning in her throat, her face was hot and she could feel the perspiration beneath her hair and between her breasts. She stopped on the canal bridge, gasping.
When Nathan caught up with her, chest heaving, he said, ‘I’ve a good mind to throw you in. It might cool that hot temper of yours.’
‘I haven’t got a hot temper.’ She turned on him, eyes flashing. ‘It’s you with the temper. You shouldn’t have chased me. People will think I’m a thief. Why did you have to follow me?’
‘I would have thought that was damned obvious. We hadn’t finished talking.’
‘You told me you wanted me to go. Well, I did as you told me although you’re no longer my boss, Mr Collins.’ She turned away from him, resting her chin on her arm against the handrail of the bridge. ‘I was not a runaway wife,’ she said through gritted teeth.
‘I know! It was just something my mother said. I was so angry about everything, I wanted to believe it so I could hate you.’
She whirled round and stared at him. ‘And do you?’
He wiped his brow with a handkerchief. ‘I wish I could. It would be easier. Your husband’s alive and we thought he was dead.’
She nodded. ‘I should never have gone to the factory. I realise now it was stupid, as you said.’
There was silence.
‘Does he know you were visiting the factory?’
She hesitated. What if she told him the truth? That Frank had already gone back to sea. That he would be away for months. Months when she would be alone. He had said he did not hate her. Did that mean he loved her? Would he see her words as a sign of encouragement for them knowingly to commit adultery this time? She wasn’t sure if she loved him or not. She fancied him. Wanted to kiss that mouth of his that curved so sweetly in a smile that caused her heart to flip over. To be wrapped in his arms and be possessed by him.
She struggled with her emotions, her conscience, thinking of Frank leaving her so soon to fend for herself What had he thought she was going to live on? Did he think that by leaving her again the way he had she’d be forced to go and seek help from his mother? Perhaps. Even so, was that any excuse for her to break her marriage vows? She gazed at Nathan and managed to force out the words, ‘We’re hard up. Of course he knows. I’ll just have to find something else.’
‘You surprise me. A man who can’t support you. How can you love him? How can you respect him?’
‘He’s my husband. I have to love him.’
‘Have to?’ Nathan’s lips twisted in a humourless smile as he took a step towards her. ‘You mean, you should but you don’t?’ She was silent. He was only a breath away from her and her body swayed treacherously towards him. He caught her to him and whispered against her mouth, ‘Did you tell him what happened between us?’
‘Do you think I’m mad? He’d – oh, I don’t know what he’d do. He can be unpredictable. It might sound melodramatic but you must keep away from me – for both our sakes.’
Abruptly Nathan released her, his expression fixed in stern lines. ‘I’ll pay you a month’s wages. I’ll give the money to Doris. I presume she knows where you’re living?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice was dull. ‘I need my sewing machine too. Can you see it gets to me?’
He nodded.
She managed to stumble from the bridge and on to the tow path. She began to walk alongside the canal, her emotions and head in a whirl.
‘Molly May! Where are thee going, lass? Thee’ll be in the water if thee’s not careful.’ Two strong hands took hold of her and she looked up into Jack Fletcher’s face. She sagged against him. ‘Oh, Uncle Jack,’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘Why does life have to be so darned difficult?’
‘There, lass. What’s wrong?’ His deep voice softened. ‘Is it that husband of thine?’ His sympathy was too much for her. Unable to speak she nodded, throat aching with the effort of holding back her tears though several rolled down her cheeks.
He handed her a scrap of clean rag. ‘Maggie Block was telling me you’re lodging with her. Said your husband’s gone back to sea already?’
She dabbed at her eyes, thankful he didn’t appear to have seen her with Nathan. ‘We need the money. He spent most of his searching for me. I have to find some work.’
‘Ask Maggie Block. She lost a lass last Saturday, just upped and went.’
‘I’m not a very good cook,’ sniffed Molly. ‘She’ll soon teach thee. Just simple fare. Scouse, pig’s cheek, spare ribs,’ He smacked his lips and patted the dish he carried. ‘Got a bowl of scouse here.’
‘Right,’ said Molly, pulling back her shoulders. ‘I suppose it’s worth a try.’
She did not waste any time in approaching Maggie who seemed perfectly willing to take her on. She would work for her food and lodgings. It was not what Molly wanted out of life but at least it was better than living with Ma Payne. As for her daughter, far better Jessica was safely out in Blundellsands being brought up as a rich man’s child.