Dr. Portier held the wooden tube he used for listening to patients’ insides against Eve’s back. “Take a deep breath.”
Eve did as he instructed, trying to be a good patient for her husband’s sake as much as the doctor’s. Dr. Portier had been her family’s physician for as long as she could recall, and he was much sought after among members of Polite Society. He had studied under her grandfather, who had been a successful doctor in his own right. Eve barely remembered Papa’s father since he died when she was young, but she’d been told he attended hers and Sebastian’s births.
Ben stood at a distance with his arms crossed over his chest. A grimace was fixed upon his handsome face as if he were a marble statue. She couldn’t help but see him every time she glanced up since he had positioned himself directly in front of her. The aloofness in his blue eyes added to her dismay, and she wondered if the doctor noticed the labored beating of her heart.
Dr. Portier was discreet enough to make no comment if he did. Sitting on the side of her bed, he moved the tube to different places on her back and had her repeatedly take deep breaths.
“Very good, madam.” Dr. Portier smiled at her just as he had when she was a child, then turned to speak with Ben. “Her lungs are clear, Mr. Hillary. There is no cause for concern. It is highly unlikely she will develop a fever, but you should send for me at once if she does.”
Dr. Portier’s pronouncement didn’t alter her husband’s dire expression. “Are you certain? Perhaps you should listen again.”
The doctor stood and returned his equipment to the black bag sitting on her bedside table. “I can assure you Mrs. Hillary is no worse for the experience. She will be fine.”
Apparently, Dr. Portier was accustomed to handling nervous husbands, because his authoritative tone brooked no argument.
Ben conceded with a nod. “Thank you, Doctor. You have put my mind at ease.”
“As it should be,” Dr. Portier said with a satisfied smile. “Your wife is in good health.” The doctor bid her farewell. Ben hesitated a moment, then followed him from her chambers without a word or backward glance. Her heart sank.
He truly was pulling away from her, and she didn’t have the first clue how to bring him back. Worse, she couldn’t even talk to anyone about him. Considering Ben’s efforts to keep the wounds he carried deep inside hidden from her, she couldn’t imagine he would appreciate her confiding in others. He couldn’t view it as anything but a betrayal. After the horrible rumors of madness that had circulated about her father, she could understand Ben’s fear of someone finding out about his spells.
When her door eased open, she swung toward it with an eager smile, but it was only Alice. “May I come in, ma’am?”
Eve’s shoulders drooped and she motioned her maid inside.
Alice closed the door behind her and leaned against it. The fine lines bracketing her mouth and at the corners of her eyes appeared more pronounced. “Did everything go well with the doctor?”
“Dr. Portier proclaimed me to be in good health. I thought a positive report would reassure Mr. Hillary, but he seems as worried as he was before the doctor arrived.”
“Your husband loves you a great deal. It is natural for him to be concerned for your welfare.”
Eve sighed. “I know he does.” Perhaps if he loved her less he wouldn’t be so burdened by the day’s events. He was not to blame for any of them—certainly not her fall into the river or the moment in the carriage.
Alice clasped her hands at her waist as if in prayer. “Others are concerned about your welfare too.”
“Others? Surely word of my accident hasn’t traveled to Mayfair already.”
“I cannot say, ma’am, but Lord and Lady Thorne are below stairs requesting an audience. Mr. Dobbins settled them in the drawing room and sent me to retrieve you.”
Eve pushed wearily from the bed. All this fuss over her was becoming embarrassing. “I suppose I should go reassure them all is well.”
“Are you, madam? Well?”
Alice’s concern was genuine. She had been with Eve through the hardest times in her life.
For a fleeting moment, Eve considered telling her the truth, but chose not to burden her maid. “Yes, Alice. Thank you.”
When Eve joined her brother and sister-in-law in the drawing room, Helena looked up from her spot on the settee. “Eve, is everything all right?”
Her brother, who had been pacing in front of the unlit fireplace, halted midstride. “What has Hillary done? Why are you returning to Thorne Place?”
Sebastian’s preposterous questions left her with her jaw hanging open.
He pulled a folded sheet of foolscap from his jacket pocket and came forward, holding it out. “I received this from your husband about an hour ago. From the look on your face, I would venture you know nothing about it.”
“About what, exactly?” She accepted the letter with a baffled frown.
Sebastian guided her toward the settee. “Perhaps you should sit before you read it.”
Her gaze shot toward the doorway. The last time she’d had to sit down for news, she’d learned Ben was on his way to India. “Is he g—” The words stuck in her throat as her heart thrashed against her ribs.
Her brother rubbed his hands up and down her arms as if trying to warm her. “He is in his study.”
“Oh, thank heavens.” She lowered to the settee before her weakened legs failed her. Helena scooted closer as Eve unfolded the sheet with shaky fingers. She read the letter aloud. “Dear Lord Thorne, I must ask for your assistance in a matter concerning your sister. Her welfare is of the utmost importance to both of us, so I know you can be entrusted with her care. I do not wish to go into details, but I believe Eve would feel more at peace under your roof until I am able to offer her safe haven.”
Sebastian perched on the armrest and leaned down to tap his finger against the foolscap. “What is that line supposed to mean? If he has hurt you, he will answer to me.”
“He has not hurt me.” At least not in the sense Sebastian was implying, but sending her away was the worst thing her husband could do to her. And she wouldn’t allow her brother to drag her back to Thorne Place either. She rushed through the rest of the letter, reading silently as nausea turned her stomach.
You need not worry about providing for her physical needs. My man of business will arrange to honor any debts incurred while she is in your care, but I will forever be personally indebted to you. Your servant, Benjamin Hillary.
The words blurred on the page, and Eve dropped the letter in her lap. “I cannot believe he wants to send me away. I never expected—” Her voice cracked as a sob escaped.
“Oh, Eve.” Helena draped an arm around her shoulders. “There must be some misunderstanding.”
“Absolutely. Hillary is mad about you, poppet.” Sebastian embraced her from the other side, creating a comforting cocoon around her. “It sounds as if he doesn’t want to send you away, but for some reason he thinks he should. Tell us what happened and perhaps we can figure this out together.”
She glanced up at her big brother with a watery smile, her faith in him restored. Sebastian wasn’t here to take her away from Ben. He was here to ensure she stayed with the man she loved, and she needed any help available.
Setting aside any misgivings and trusting her family to support her, she retold the story of Charlotte, Ben’s nightmares, and her fall into the river—minus the part about Sir Jonathan and the man who had followed them.
Finally, she told them about her husband’s heroic rescue of her, followed by his breakdown in the carriage. “Watching him suffer was excruciating. I’ve never felt so helpless.”
Helena’s blue-green eyes held nothing but compassion as she took Eve’s hand. “How horrible for both of you. Is there anything we can do to help?”
If anyone else posed the question, Eve would assume they were just being polite, but Helena was the type of person to swim an ocean for those she loved.
Eve pressed her friend’s hand between hers. “I cannot think of anything, but your offer warms my heart.”
“How long do you think he has been having these attacks?” Sebastian asked in the most matter-of-fact manner, as if it were every day he encountered a similar dilemma.
She should have realized Sebastian would never stand in judgment of Ben. Her brother had grown up in the same household, trying to make sense of Papa’s odd behaviors and changeable moods, just as she had.
He handed her a handkerchief, and she shrugged as she dabbed at her tears. “I suspect he has been trying to hide them since our wedding night, but I believe they began two years ago. The day he fled the church, he described a similar episode.”
“Blast,” Sebastian muttered and wearily scrubbed his hands over his face. “When I met him on the street, he appeared pale and shaken. Now it makes sense—his unexpected departure, coming back for you, his disheveled state. Devil take it! I thought—” Sebastian shook his head, his face screwed up with disgust.
Her stomach pitched. “You thought he was with another woman.”
“I’m sorry, Eve. I should have allowed him to explain. I was a jackass and let my temper control me.”
Helena reached across Eve to pat his knee. “The past cannot be undone, my love. No amount of guilt makes it so.”
He covered his wife’s hand and offered a grateful—albeit sad—smile. “But if I could, I would change everything.”
“Helena is right. The present is all that matters.” Heaping blame on her brother would accomplish nothing. “I love my husband. I don’t want to leave him. And I am not afraid of him, but it is clear he believes otherwise.”
Sebastian pressed his lips together as if debating whether he should speak up. Apparently, speaking his mind won out. “I’ve often wondered how our lives might have been different if our mother hadn’t accepted our father’s decision to retreat into himself. I know she tried to reach him, but how could she not feel defeated after a while? I cannot fault her for giving up, but I still wonder what might have happened if she hadn’t.”
“I cannot stomach the thought of accepting this,” Eve said. “Ben doesn’t want to send me away. He loves me. I know he does.”
Sebastian held her hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “You always see the good in people, even if it is hidden, Evie. You are the most compassionate person I know, and I’ve always thought compassionate people must be incredibly strong to share in another’s sorrow. I believe you have the strength to hold on for as long as it takes.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. Her brother was often generous with his praise, but he’d never before given her a compliment that made her truly proud of who she was.
He ruffled her still-damp hair, perhaps to distract her from the misting of his eyes. “I think you can set things to rights without our help, but if you would like us to stay while you speak with your husband, we will.”
Ben might insist she leave with Sebastian and Helena if they stayed. In addition, she didn’t want to embarrass her husband by defying him in front of witnesses, but she was not leaving her home or him. She would not give up on Ben, even if he was ready to give up on himself. “Thank you for offering, but I need to do this alone.”
“I anticipated as much.” Sebastian rose from his perch on the settee and offered her a hand up before gathering her in a hug. “Good luck, poppet. If you do discover you need me, do not hesitate to send word and I will be here.”
Her brother’s reassurance gave her strength. She exchanged a hug with Helena before her sister-in-law linked arms with Sebastian.
Eve lightly drummed her fingers against her lips and studied her brother. “Perhaps there is something you could do.” With his connections in the Lords, Sebastian might have access to information about a certain evasive earl. “How well do you know the Earl of Wellham?”
Her brother grinned. “Ham and I go back a ways, although we haven’t crossed paths since I stopped frequenting the Den.” Before her brother met Helena, he had spent many nights at the Den of Iniquity, a gaming hell Eve wasn’t supposed to know about, but did because of her propensity for snooping. “I heard he is visiting his…uh…friend in Kent.” A slight flush rose in his cheeks as he shot a distressed look in Eve’s direction.
She rolled her eyes. He meant Wellham had a mistress, but she would accept his explanation without pressing for details. “Would he receive you if you paid him a visit? Ben has been unable to get an audience with him, and he has a proposition for the earl.”
“I see no reason Ham would turn me away. Tell me about this proposition.”
* * *
Ben had returned to his study after Dr. Portier departed and forced himself to stay there while Lord and Lady Thorne called on Eve. It had taken every bit of his willpower not to storm the foyer when he heard the baron and baroness taking Eve away. As the clack of the Thornes’ carriage wheels on the cobblestones faded in the distance, a blanket of despair descended over Ben. The heaviness weighed him down, making holding up his head feel like a herculean feat.
He opened one of the logbooks on his desk, turning toward work for comfort. Half an hour later, however, he hadn’t advanced beyond the second page. His thoughts were too sluggish to make any sense of what was written.
Dobbins entered his study and waited until Ben acknowledged him. “Mrs. Beardmore informs me dinner is ready, sir.”
“Dinner?” Ben blinked up at his butler. In all the turmoil this evening, he had forgotten to send word to the kitchen. He wasn’t hungry, but he couldn’t refuse after Mrs. Beardmore had gone to the trouble of preparing a meal. “Very well,” he said as he pushed back from his desk. “I will dine in my chambers.”
Dobbins’s eyebrows shot up.
“Is there something you would like to say?”
“No, sir.”
Ben started for the door when Dobbins cleared his throat. “Yes, what is it?” he asked with a beleaguered sigh.
“I do not mean to pry, sir, but what should I tell Mrs. Hillary? She is waiting in the dining room.”
Ben’s heart kicked against his ribs. “My wife is here?”
“Yes, sir.” Dobbins’s cautious tone and narrowed eyes suggested he suspected Ben had bats in the belfry. “Is she planning an excursion this evening? Should I send word to the coachman?”
“No,” Ben said as he swept toward the door. “I will inform you if anything changes.”
He stalked to the dining room, not breaking stride as he crossed the threshold. Eve was alone. She hadn’t gone with her brother as Ben had arranged. He couldn’t decide if he was annoyed or heartened by her disobedience.
He locked gazes with his wife as he advanced. She stood; her lips parted on a silent gasp. He stopped inches from her, waiting for a sign that she wanted him here. She gripped the napkin in front of her, twisting the fabric square as if trying to strangle it. His shoulders sagged at the evidence of her nerves.
“I heard your brother and sister-in-law stop in for a visit,” he said.
She arched an eyebrow and released one end of the napkin so it hung at her side. “That wasn’t well done of you, then. Sebastian and Helena would have been pleased to see you. I thought you and my brother made peace when we married.”
Ben had thought the same, but the fact Thorne hadn’t granted his request suggested he had misjudged their association. “Did Thorne’s visit serve a particular purpose?”
Her hands landed on her hips in agitation. “Are we going to pretend all evening, or may we get to the bottom of your attempt to send me away? And allow me to be clear: I am not leaving. Not now. Not ever.”
Ben’s lips curved into a reluctant smile. With Eve’s determined stance and slightly bedraggled coiffure, she looked fierce and ready for battle. She was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen—lively and well. Her quick recovery from the afternoon seemed a miracle too good to be true.
“Are you laughing at me?” she said, her voice rising in volume. “Because there is nothing humorous about this situation.”
“No.” He shook his head to clear his mind and focus on the here and now. “I’m happy you stayed. I expected you to be eager to put as much distance between us as possible.”
“Why, in God’s name, would I want distance? I can’t imagine anything more distasteful. The past two years we’ve had more than enough distance between us, and I can say with confidence it only made me miserable. I believe you were no happier either.” She stepped toward him, her face softening as she looked up at him. “We must stay together through good times and bad, just like we promised when we spoke our vows.”
He shook his head. She had spoken her vows under false pretenses. How could he hold her to her word? “You didn’t know what you were promising.”
“Of course I did.” Her chin hitched higher. “Do you take me for an idiot?”
“You know I think nothing of the sort. I only meant you didn’t vow to love a broken man. I am flawed.”
“You are not broken, and I have news for you. Everyone is flawed. My father was. My brother, my mother, me.” She ticked off each person on her fingers. “Show me one person who claims to be perfect and I will point out his flaw. Either he is arrogant or delusional.”
“You have no flaws, Evie.” He pulled out the chair next to hers and collapsed on it. “You are perfect, and you deserve better than to be saddled with an ill husband.”
A wry smile stretched across her face. “Normally, claiming I am perfect would be an effective tactic to end an argument, but I’m afraid I cannot accept it this time. Even if it were true, there are no promises I will stay this way. In truth, I won’t. My hair will gray. Wrinkles will come. My hips will probably spread when I have our children. Are you implying you will toss me aside if I change? What if I become sick or face a problem I cannot overcome alone? Will you leave me in the country and forget about me?”
The notion was too preposterous for serious consideration. Ire renewed his strength, and he shoved to his feet. “Do you think I could love you any less because of gray hairs and wrinkles—or wide hips?”
She shrugged one shoulder, stirring his temper more. “Will you love me even if I grow senile and forget your name?”
“Even if I must remind you every hour that I am your husband and you are the love of my life. My word is my bond. Nothing could ever make me toss you aside.” He slammed his fist down on the table. “Nothing.”
Her eyes flared slightly in response to the startling bang. She paused with lips parted, then nodded thoughtfully. “I am not questioning your word.”
She pulled something from her pocket and offered it to him.
It was the necklace he had given her two years earlier. The yellow diamonds sparkled in the candlelight as he held it up for inspection. It was a beautiful piece he had discovered years ago on a trip to India, and for some unfathomable reason, he couldn’t walk away from it. When he had fallen for Eve, he knew the necklace would make the perfect wedding gift. He’d wanted nothing more than to join their lives together.
She glanced up at him with a question in her eyes. “I have heard this particular necklace symbolizes a lasting connection between husband and wife. Why did you charge Mr. Cooper with bringing it to me when you were severing the connection between us?”
Ben opened his mouth to speak, but words evaded him. He forcefully exhaled and shook his head. He didn’t have a ready answer.
“You know what I believe?” she asked. “Deep down you realized we are forever joined at the heart. Even with seas between us, our connection couldn’t be broken. Separation caused us to suffer. I cannot see how the result would be any different if you sent me away now.” She extended her free hand toward him. “Please, allow me to be at your side while you face whatever is troubling you. Please. I simply want the chance to live up to my promises too. Shouldn’t I be allowed to love you with the same devotion you have for me?”
Hurt shone in her brown eyes, hurt and desperation. But also, in the depths, he detected a glimmer of hope. That tiny glimmer reached out just as her hand strained toward him. It shattered the last stone in the wall he’d erected between them. Their fingertips brushed, and he tugged her into his arms. He prayed he wasn’t making a mistake. “I want you to stay, Evie. I need you.”
She buried her face into his neck. “Good, because I am not leaving. I need you too.”
When their lips met, their kiss was filled with promise. Oddly, his burden felt lighter, as if his wife was already bearing part of the weight of his shameful secret. He broke the kiss but didn’t release her.
“This could get difficult.” He felt the need to warn her off, to allow her one more chance to escape, but she didn’t take it.
Instead, she scoffed at the idea. “Easy is for novices. We know all about difficult.” Lifting to her toes, she placed a peck on his mouth, then sat in the chair. “As long as we are discussing complications…”
She patted the upholstered seat beside her, and he lowered to the chair, waiting for her to continue.
“At the dock today, I saw the man who followed Sir Jonathan, my maid, and me to the museum.”
Ben tensed. “The one you spoke with before you stumbled into the river?” In the turmoil, he had forgotten about the man.
“Yes, but he seemed as surprised to see me as I was to see him, so I believe our encounter was purely coincidental.”
“Did he say anything to you?”
“I couldn’t understand a word, but he seemed distressed by the whole ordeal. I am only mentioning him because I promised not to keep anything from you. Maybe we should let it be.”
Like hell he would. “I will have the docks searched. I didn’t have a good view. Could you give a description to the investigator I hired?”
“I am certain I could, but you said we shouldn’t get involved with Sir Jonathan’s affairs.”
She might be right on that account, but learning the man’s identity could be the key to keeping her safe. Know your enemy.
“Be that as it may,” he said, “I would like you to speak with the investigator tomorrow.”
“Very well, but there is something I would like in return. Even if you are able to purchase the property from Lord Wellham and forgive Mr. Tanney’s debt, you need to call on Charlotte’s brother.”
Ben’s chest tightened. “That seems unnecessary. I told you there is no love lost between the Tanneys and me.”
“Maybe that is the source of your troubled dreams. You said they restarted when you learned about the Tanneys’ situation. Making peace with Charlotte’s family might help.” Eve reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. “I would go with you. Please, think about it.”
He didn’t relish the thought of returning to Eton. His last memories of the town were ones he wanted to forget, but perhaps his wife was correct. He should at least entertain the idea before rejecting it. “I will think about it.”