“Pete?”
I tried to open my eyes but it was like they were zip-locked.
“Pete?”
I was hearing my name called, and as I came out of my dreaming I knew he had come back for me. I came out of my dreaming to find him.
I opened my eyes.
“Pete, you awake now?”
I looked at the face hanging over my bed, and I wanted to cry.
Rufus.
My mouth was all gummed together. “Water,” I whispered.
Rufus gave me one of his annoyed looks, then went out. He came back with a bathroom cup full of water.
I sat up and drank it straight down. Then I sat rubbing my head, trying to come alive again.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“About noon.”
“Grief,” I said. I looked around me and spotted my duffel. Then I remembered it all, every bit, every single crystal-clear minute of it, and I wanted to roll back up in a ball and be alone.
“Thought I’d see how you’re doing,” Rufus said.
I remembered what he’d done for me, so I smiled a little.
“Fair,” I answered. “Got enough sleep, that’s for sure.”
We were both quiet.
“Rufus, last night …”
“No problem. I was just passing that way and I saw you and …”
He was silent. We both knew lies wouldn’t work with us.
“How long did you sit in those bushes?” I asked him.
“Long as you hung around that station.”
I shook my head and sighed.
“Your folks weren’t ticked off at you, staying out that late?”
Rufus grinned. “I told them I was going to spend the night with you. Which is kind of true, when you look at it.” He thought a minute. “I just wanted to be there when you left town.”
I nodded my head but I didn’t smile anymore. I felt this big boulder growing in my stomach, pressing against my heart. I felt it so thick and heavy there, hurting and hurting.
“I don’t know what happened to him,” I whispered.
Rufus didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know why he hasn’t come for me yet,” I said. “Maybe he got in an accident. Or had a heart attack. I don’t know what happened to him.”
I looked at Rufus. And then I could see it. I could see it in his face.
Rufus knew.
Oh, I didn’t want to ask him. I was afraid to find out, thinking I couldn’t bear any more pain. He was going to tell me the Preacher was dead. He was going to take away my Preacher.
“What?” I whispered.
Rufus opened his mouth to speak, then he shut it again.
“What?” I nearly yelled. I was sitting straight up in bed and I must have looked half-crazy.
“Pete,” Rufus said. “Pete, I found out something this morning. It’s buzzing all over town.”
He paused. I thought I might break into a million splinters while I waited for him.
Rufus took a deep breath.
“Pete, he left town last night.”
I stared at Rufus, waiting for things to clear up.
“He left town with Darlene Cook. You know. Homer Cook’s big sister. The one who was a majorette last year and works at the drugstore.”
I know my breathing just stopped cold.
My eyes got to watering, but I tightened them up. I wasn’t going to let Rufus see me like that. I knew Rufus couldn’t stand such stuff.
“When?” I whispered.
Rufus looked at me.
“After the revival. Darlene took off from her house about nine-thirty and—”
“No!” I yelled. I jumped out of bed, all my clothes still on me, even my shoes, and I kicked my duffel bag across the room. I heard the crack of something breaking inside.
“No!” I yelled again. I pointed at the door. “Get out! I don’t want you here, Rufus! Get out of here!”
I never felt such a rage. And I wanted to throw Rufus out the window, I was so fed up with him. Rufus, always around, just always around and thinking he knew all the answers. Rufus who was always perfect and always right and always just there.
“Get out!”
Rufus was mad at me, too. I could see it in his face. His jaw was all tight and his eyes just glared. Rufus was strong. I figure he could have killed me if he wanted.
But he just gave me the sharpest, most cutting look I’d ever seen him give. Then he walked out and slammed my bedroom door shut behind him.
I stood there in the room, my body freezing up hard inside, and didn’t know what to do.
I dropped to my knees.
“Help me,” I whispered.
Then I stretched myself out on that floor and cried like a baby. Cried the way I used to when Mother was going out the door. Seeing that door close.
He left with a girl. He left with a girl and me waiting for him.
I cried till I could cry no more. Then I just lay there on the floor.
Everything was so still. The sun was coming in hot through my window and it landed on my back and felt good. A bluejay carried on in the apple tree. And off down the street, I could hear the two Cornicelli kids, giggling and splashing in their baby pool.