The atmosphere inside the bakery was so tense, I swear I could hear time crawl by. Avery was looking back and forth from Max to me, and I knew her evil little brain was spinning all sorts of ideas.
No. No. No. Do not do it, Avery, I silently pleaded.
“Ok, well, um, here you go,” I said, nodding to his boxes of cupcakes and taking an exaggerated step back.
“Thank you,” Max said, and his blue eyes seemed to bore a hole right through me.
“Um, goodnight,” I added, trying to end whatever this exchange was.
It was too much for total strangers. He struck a nerve or something, but even though I nodded at the door and crossed my arms, Max made no move to go.
He simply watched me, his head canted to the side like a curious animal.
What did I need to do to get him to leave, for fuck’s sake? Draw a map?
“Hope you like the cupcakes. Bye now,” I said pointedly.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Max asked, narrowing his gaze.
“No!”
But really, yeah, I was.
I wasn’t stupid.
This guy had heartbreaker written all over him and I was not in the market for that kind of thing.
If I ever decided to date again, it would be someone simple and staid.
Like a banker. Or an accountant.
Not whatever this guy was in his cowboy clothes and his spicy cologne.
“I think you should ask Penny out,” Avery interrupted, and I gasped and turned to glare at her.
Was she out of her mind?
“Avery!”
“I was just working up to that,” Max told Avery, joining my bestie in ignoring me. “What kind of date do you think Penelope would like?”
Okay, what the heck was going on? Had I stepped into the Twilight Zone or something?
Did Avery just bully this guy into asking me out? And was she now actually giving the guy tips on dating me?
“Avery,” I hissed her name, but she just ignored me some more.
This shit is getting old fast.
“Hello? Standing right here, guys,” I said.
“Oh, you know what? Penny loves the movies! And there’s this woman, Jordan, who runs an old drive-in that plays classic movies on the weekends. She’s doing an Alfred Hitchcock double-feature this Saturday.”
“Is that right? What time does it start?” Max asked, and the fucker had his phone out. Like he was taking notes.
“Seven,” Avery informed him, rattling off the website.
“Excuse me? What is going on here? Don’t buy those tickets! I am not going with you—” I sputtered as I watched Max order the tickets online.
He flashed me the confirmation, his ever present grin turning a little smug.
“Done!”
“Great,” Avery said.
“No, not great,” I replied.
“Now, Max, you can’t be late or all the good spots in the back of the lot will be taken, and it’s harder to make out when you have a ton of people watching you,” my soon-to-be-ex-best friend said.
“I am not making out with him—”
“What about snacks? What are Penelope’s favorites?”
Max directed his questions to Avery, which was actually kind of smart since I was two seconds from upending the cupcake boxes over both their heads.
“Oh, this is important, Penny likes salt on her popcorn with extra butter. You forget the salt and I can promise you she will not talk kindly about you afterwards,” Avery informed him.
“Get there early for a good spot. Put butter and salt on her popcorn. I can do that,” Max replied, and nodded.
I closed my eyes, but that was no good. Max’s voice was deep and growly and even with my eyes closed it did funny things to my insides.
Was this guy even real? Maybe this was all one big hallucination brought on by my deprived libido and that horrible phone call with my ex.
“Ouch,” I muttered after pinching myself just to make sure I was awake.
“Are you okay?” Max asked, eyes narrowed in concern.
“She’s fine. Okay, so Saturday is a date. But did you get all that because this woman is my best friend and if you fuck this up, I promise you will not like what happens,” Avery threatened Max, and my heart swelled with emotion.
She was crazy, but Avery had been my best friend since we were kids. I knew this was all coming from a good place. I just didn’t think I was ready for it. Or him.
“I won’t fuck it up,” Max told her.
“I’ll be there to pick her up at 6:30,” he said to Avery, then turned to me. “Is that enough time to get there?”
“It is, but I am not going, and you don’t have my address—”
“Her address is 1214B Willow Lane. It’s a two-family. I live in 1214A,” Avery told him.
That’s it. The woman must have lost her damned mind.
“Willow Lane? I believe that’s close to my place,” Max said thoughtfully.
“Hey, are you at the old Miller Ranch?” Avery asked.
“Uh, yeah. It’s the Motley Crewd now,” he said, and oh my God, was he blushing?
His cheeks turned a ruddy color, and I was annoyed to discover it only enhanced his attractiveness.
Why was it men only got better looking regardless of how old they got or what they were feeling?
When I blushed, I looked like a ripe tomato about to burst.
“Motley Crewd?” I asked, unable to stop the chuckle that escaped my lips.
“Yeah, it’s an inside joke,” he replied with a twinkle in his eyes.
“I see.”
But I didn’t. Not really.
“You will, Sugarplum. You will. Thanks for the treats. I’ll see you soon.”
He seemed reluctant to go, but judging from the buzzing coming from his cell phone, the man had places to be.
That was fine.
In fact, I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I could breathe easily again.
Liar liar.
“Oh, don’t forget the condoms!” Avery yelled out after Max and I slapped my hand over her mouth.
“Avery!”
I turned my head to see if he heard what she said. Of fucking course he did. Mortified, I groaned aloud as Max raised his hand in a thumbs-up gesture.
That did it.
I was going to kill my best friend.