Day 16: On Self-Relianc
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A man then must stand erect, not be kept erect by others.
There’s no doubt that surrounding yourself with people who support your goals is helpful. It’s easier to exercise with a friend, diet along with your spouse, or belong to a community of frugal people.
However, as Marcus Aurelius says, you need to beware of relying too much on others.
If the only reason why you exercise is because you’re doing it with a friend, the moment they drop it, you’ll likely revert to the old ways, too.
If you’re on a diet only because you want to lose weight to attract this beautiful friend of a friend, the moment you learn they’re in a relationship or aren’t interested in you, your self-control will be gone.
If you’re productive at work only because you’re afraid of your boss, how likely will you be to exhibit productivity when they aren’t around?
Your motivators should always start with you and your own resolve to make changes. External support can be valuable, but just like a person recovering from an injury isn’t fully recovered if they can’t stand without a crutch, you aren’t self-disciplined enough unless you can still stick to your resolutions even without the help of other people.