WEEK 20
Day 134: On Staying Congruent
Immediately prescribe some character and form of conduct to yourself, which you may keep both alone and in company.
If there exists a “hack” for quickly embracing self-discipline as a part of your identity, it’s clearly communicating to everyone around you how important this value is for you — and then taking actions that are congruent with that decision.
The key is to maintain that behavior both when you are around other people and also when you’re alone — we’re not talking about faking it in public. The beautiful part is that when others associate you with a certain positive trait, you’ll want to maintain it.
Think of a child who’s considered to be tough by other kids. The next time he or she scrapes his or her knee, will he or she cry or try to remain congruent with his or her public image and walk it off? Obviously, we’re adults now, but the basic premise doesn’t change: humans need to stay congruent, particularly around other people.
All of my friends know that I’m a bit of a freak when it comes to self-discipline (okay, not a bit of a freak
, I am
a freak about that!) and consequently, this form of conduct is pretty much forced on me. I don’t want to be incongruent with myself and I don’t want other people to think that I’m saying one thing and doing another
.
For example, if there’s a challenge in front of me and I know that my friend is thinking that I’m going to face it instead of quitting, I’ll face it (obviously only after I ensure that it’s relatively safe).
Then, when I’m alone dealing with a self-imposed challenge, I’ll be less likely to give up, too — after all, I don’t want to lose the respect I have for myself, and most certainly don’t want my friends to be disappointed in me upon learning that I’m a different person around them and a different person when I’m by myself.