Day 182: On Saying N
o
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. When you agree to do something you don’t want to do, you will resent the person who asked you to do it.
Saying yes to something you don’t want to do can save you the discomfort of saying no, but ultimately it’s like cheating on a diet. You get fleeting pleasure (or in the case of saying yes, temporarily escape discomfort) now at the expense of your long-term well-being. In addition to that, in the case of saying yes, you risk feeling resentful toward the person who asked you to do something you didn’t want to do.
Practice your self-control by saying no when you’re tempted to say yes just to avoid awkwardness. It doesn’t mean that from now on you’ll never help somebody just because you don’t feel like doing it; give a helping hand whenever people need you, but establish boundaries and respect them.
If you have trouble saying no, start small at first. For example, offer your help, but in a limited way, or put some conditions on it. After all, you’re the one being asked
for help, so even if you don’t use your right to refuse, you can still exert your right to say when you’re available or what you can and cannot do for another person.