part0367

It always makes more sense to concentrate on the direct alternatives — the things you do control. What others do is up to them, but there’s always a great deal you can do. Choose from the alternatives that require only your decision — not from among the many hopes that someone will be something other than what he is. To rely on your rights or on your ability to change others is far less promising than to rely upon yourself.

One dangerous pitfall to be aware of when setting goals is to avoid tying them to the performance or willingness of other people.

For example, I believe that the best business partner is yourself and nobody else. If you have a goal to build a successful business so you can eventually dedicate yourself to your children and your business partner doesn’t have such a strong motivation, it will be a source of conflict forever. You’ll need his or her approval for any business decision, and 50% of the success of your business will depend on the other person. Losing full control over the decision-making process means lowering your chances of success.

In exercise, you might feel tempted to wait before you buy a gym pass until you persuade your friend to start exercising with you. Yes, working out with a partner is more effective, but if you’re relying on this person to establish a positive change in your life, you’ve already failed. And what if your friend drops out? Will you drop out, too ?

Don’t wait for another person to change your life. You can hope that their desires will be in line with yours, but it’s a better strategy to rely on yourself by choosing alternatives that require your decision alone.