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Connecting with Like-Minded People
It is a fact that no person can achieve great things alone. It’s never been done, nor will it ever be. People try to achieve significance by themselves mainly because of the size of their ego, their level of insecurity, their temperament, or simple naïveté. But it can’t be done. That was a painful lesson I only needed to be taught once as a young leader. You may be able to achieve some degree of success by yourself, though even that is difficult. But it is impossible to live a life that matters and find significance without other people.
Attracting People to a Cause
I have always been keenly aware that I have the kind of personality that attracts people to me and to whatever I’m excited about. The authors of the assessment tool StrengthsFinder call this “woo.” While I was at Lancaster, I used this ability heavily. In fact, as soon as I realized that I needed to make a difference with people to achieve significance—instead of trying to make a difference for people—I started recruiting everybody I could to partner with me. I immediately began asking others to join my team. I became an Uncle Sam of significance. Everywhere I went, I pointed to everyone I saw and said, “I Want You.”
In those days, I had dreams of being a positive influencer in our small town of Lancaster, Ohio. I wanted to build a large auditorium to house our growing congregation. I needed to start social programs to help people in need. I had a great desire to host leadership conferences to help others lead more successfully. My dreams were bigger than me, but they certainly weren’t out of reach. True significance will always be bigger than the person with the dream. That’s why it requires a team of people working together to achieve it.
I began to share my dream with anyone and everyone to see what it did to them. Whenever I spoke, I talked about my dream. If someone stopped me on the street or at the mall, he heard about my dream. If somebody passed me in a hallway, she heard my dream. I was looking for people with a heart to make a difference and who could make things happen. I was developing a leadership track, believing that people who could produce results could always get the job done. That didn’t mean I only recruited leaders, but I felt certain if people could make good things happen for themselves, they could make positive things happen for others. I believed that if you have the heart to make a difference, there is always an answer, but if you have a heart of indifference, there is never an answer.
As I spread the word about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to include others, many people joined me. I was passionate, and passion is contagious. And that’s a good thing because it takes a lot more energy to do something for other people than for ourselves. The good news is that I was moving from me to we during this time. But I still had a lot to learn.
Many people eagerly climbed aboard the Maxwell train. I thought that was success. It took me a couple of years to figure out that the people who were joining me in the early days just wanted to come along for the ride. They liked my enthusiasm and energy, and they wanted to be close to me, but they didn’t necessarily share the same passion I had for significance, for making a difference with others. They just wanted to hang out. They didn’t have the same goal or purpose I did. We were on the same train but wanted to go in different directions.
At first I thought the problem was that they were on the wrong train. Instead of asking, “What can we do for others?” they were asking, “What can you do for me?” But then it dawned on me—they weren’t on the wrong train. I had simply recruited the wrong people. I should have checked their tickets. I should have shared the purpose of the journey I was taking before I said, “All aboard!”
This required another shift in my thinking and a change in the way I led people. I had to stop the proverbial train and allow everyone who wasn’t holding the right ticket to get off. Then I had to proactively go out and attract the right people and begin the journey again.
You may find this to be true of your own goal. There may be people who are drawn to you by your passion for something instead of having their own passion for the mutual goal. So how can you recognize the right people?
For me, they were people who were already working toward the goal. They were the people already actively making a difference in the lives of others, not just wanting to hang out with those who were making a difference. There is a big difference between the two. When you surround yourself with people who share your vision and purpose, people who crave and are willing to work toward your common goal, there is always a way to achieve your purpose, no matter the obstacles.
How was I going to connect with these people? I realized I needed to have a clearer picture of what I was trying to accomplish. I needed to get clarity for myself and for my cause. Once I got that, I could declare it to others and see how they would respond.
Articulating a Dream
So I took the next six months to carefully construct a statement describing what I was seeking. It became my own version of “I Have a Dream,” inspired by the speech of the great Martin Luther King Jr. Certainly my version was not as good as his—how could it be? But it was the best I could make it. It took me at least fifty drafts before I finally got it to be a version I could live with. It was my first attempt at writing a vision statement that I thought would attract the right kind of people into my world, people who shared my passion to make a difference for others, and it stuck for a very long time.
Here’s what I wrote:
I took what I wrote to a print shop and had it printed on laminated five-by-seven-inch cards so that I could hand them out. I gave hundreds of cards to people. Anytime I sensed that someone might be seeking significance, I gave him or her a card.
When I gave it to people, there was no pressure, no strings attached, and no cultish sales pitch. All I did was hand them a card and say, “Read this. If you want to join me, let me know.” If they asked questions, I took no more than a couple of minutes to share my dream of significance with them. Every time someone reached out their hand, without realizing it they were accepting a little piece of me into their lives. Hundreds and eventually thousands of people joined me.
It turned out that my “I Have a Dream” card was an important piece of my significance journey because it told people who I was, what I did, and what I wanted to accomplish. It was a tangible way to express what I felt, to put my ideas out there and quickly identify like-minded people who would want to join me.
Remember, after I figured out that I needed to consider who I was recruiting, I didn’t give the card to just anyone. I only handed it to those I felt shared my mind-set. I used it selectively, and when I did, it was an easy way to say, “The ball is in your court.” Happily, the majority of those I chose to give the card to took that ball, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “Count me in!” Now, that’s what I call getting in the game.
I intuitively knew that the way I wrote my dream card would appeal to the right people, because the wording was deliberate and meant to be an intentional eliminator. Why? Because my “I Have a Dream” was really a challenge. You see, great vision is a separator: People who migrated toward the vision wanted significance. Those who backed away from it wanted something else, which was fine. I didn’t want to partner with people who didn’t share my vision.
I continued to print these cards and hand them out for two years. And I knew something special was happening when reactions started to change from “Sure, I’ll take this card,” to “Do you mind if I keep this?” I never once asked anyone to join me. I just gave out the cards and said, “Think about it. Get back to me.” I left the decision in their hands. And I was attracting the exact people I’d been looking for.
If you want to make a difference with people, you just need to find like-minded people who share common goals for doing something significant. You just need to want to make a difference together and then do it!
Factors That Connect People of Significance
My wish for you is that you connect with people who will go with you on your significance journey. I want you to work with like-minded people, those who share your passion to make a difference in the world. And I believe you can.
To help you with that, allow me to show you nine factors that attract people of significance to one another. These observations are based on my version of “I Have a Dream.” To explain how this works, I’ll break what I wrote for my card into sections and explain each of them in turn. They will help you as you seek like-minded people in search of significance.
1. The Opportunity Factor
History tells us that in every age there comes a time when leaders must come forth to meet the needs of the hour. Therefore, there is no potential leader who does not have an opportunity to better mankind. Those around him also have the same privilege.
Significant acts almost always occur in response to opportunities. What opportunities do you see? Do you see a way to connect others to your mission? Or is someone inviting you to join him or her in doing something significant? If you see it, seize it. What you say yes to shapes your life. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step in your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take that first important step.
Question: What opportunity do you see right now to make a difference?
2. The Belief Factor
Fortunately, I believe that God has surrounded me with those who will accept the challenge of this hour.
If you don’t believe in God, I don’t have any desire to push my personal beliefs or faith on you. I place no judgment on anyone. I know without a doubt that every day since I started asking God to bring me people who desired significance, He has been sending them into my life so that we could make a difference together. And God continues to send them.
But you don’t have to believe in God to believe that like-minded people will come into your life when you have it in your heart to do something meaningful. Do you believe that? Do you believe others want to connect with you to make a difference? When someone who wants to make a difference comes across your path, do you recognize him or her? Do you believe enough in that person to connect with him or her and to start thinking about what you might do together to make a difference? Belief is essential for creating significant change. Without belief, you will have a very difficult time leading the way to make meaningful change happen.
Question: Do you believe people are coming to you to help you make a difference?
3. The Possibility Factor
My dream allows me to give up at any moment all that I am in order to receive all that I can become.
The pathway of possibility is filled with trade-offs. Why? Because there is no significance without sacrifice. But the good news is that as you trade one thing for another, you will be moving toward a better and more fulfilling way of life. This isn’t true just of leadership, but of life. Consider the sacrifices that come with all the benefits of starting a family or making radical changes to your everyday life.
Each of us is faced with moments in life where we are forced to stop, reflect, and consider our options. Nearly every choice is a trade-off, and we start making them early in life. Will we watch television shows or play outside? Will we play in high school or work to get good grades? Will we take a job when we finish high school to make some money right away, or will we go to college? When we graduate, will we take the job that pays more money or will we choose the one that will give us better experience?
As a leader, you will be constantly faced with decisions, and many will not be easy. Choosing one path usually means sacrificing something else. And know this: the more successful you are, the greater and more challenging the trade-offs will be that you have to make. If you want to lead in a way that matters, you will have to make trade-offs. And they become harder as we become more successful. But know this: trade-offs never leave you the same. And if you trade up for significance over serving yourself, those changes will always be for the better.
Question: What are you willing to give up to make a difference?
4. The Faith Factor
My dream allows me to sense the invisible so I can do the impossible. Trust God’s resources…
Again, I frame this in the context of my faith, but the issue here is really about fear. Almost everything you and I want is on the other side of fear. How do we handle that? How do we get beyond our fears?
For me it’s a faith issue. I try to leave everything in God’s hands, and I usually see God’s hand in everything. I don’t believe God gives me a dream to frustrate me. He gives me a dream to be fulfilled.
Do you want to know something amazing? Fear is the most prevalent reason why most people stop. Faith is what makes people start. Fear is the key that locks the door to the resources. Faith is the key that opens that door.
If you are motivated by a dream of significance that is right for you, it should increase your faith. You should believe your dream can be accomplished, and that you are leading others in the right direction. Faith should help you see the invisible and do the impossible. It should help release the resources you need. Even if you have a different kind of dream from mine, I believe you can trust God’s resources.
The faith factor encourages me to start walking and to believe the resources will come to me as I walk. I know they will not come if I sit still. If I stop, the resources stop. Resources come to us when we are on our missions, when we are fulfilling our callings.
The lesson I teach most often on faith is this: feed your faith and starve your fear. To do that you must give your faith more energy than your fear. You can’t reduce fear by thinking about it. You reduce it by taking action away from it. How? By moving toward faith.
Faith does not make things easy, but it makes things possible because it puts everything, including fear, into the right perspective. So if you want to become a stronger leader—to learn, to grow, to achieve your dreams of significance, and to make a difference—have faith.
Question: Is my faith greater than my fear?
5. The Challenge Factor
…the dream is bigger than all my abilities and acquaintances.
Sometimes I think there are no great men or women. There are just great challenges that ordinary people like you and me are willing to tackle. Why do I say that? Because nothing separates passionate people from passive people like a call to step up. Whenever I invite others to join me in doing something big by casting a vision of significance, I realize that some people will respond positively to it and others will run from it.
Today I feel more challenged to make a difference than at any other time in my life. It is my passion to raise up people as intentional leaders so that they will rise up and become transformational leaders. As I have studied movements of transformation, I have endeavored to define what a transformational leader looks like. I believe transformational leaders influence people to think, speak, and act in such a way that it makes a positive difference in their lives and in the lives of others. It’s my dream—and my challenge—to develop transformational leaders. It’s much easier to define one than it is to develop one. However, I have accepted the challenge.
My hope is that this book will help you to move in this direction—to become intentional in making a difference, and to help take others there as well. If you and I do that and help others to do the same, we can help transform individuals and communities.
Question: Are you challenged to stretch to significance?
6. The Attitude Factor
My dream allows me to continue when discouraged, for where there is no faith in the future, there is no power in the present.
I’ve always been impressed by the leadership of Martin Luther King Jr. He was able to inspire so many people to perform significant acts during his relatively short lifetime. It led to a movement that created positive change for America. King once said, “The biggest job in getting any movement off the ground is to keep together the people who form it.” I believe a big part of his success in doing that came from his attitude. He never seemed to lose hope. He kept believing in the change he was working toward, up to the very end of his life.
When I lived in Atlanta, I had the privilege of meeting numerous people who both marched with Dr. King and were jailed with him. They overcame a lot to make a difference for those who came behind them. And while King was alive, he kept them together. He helped people to keep their attitudes like his.
I’ve often wondered why so many good people stop doing good things in their lives. I’ve concluded that people lose energy not because the work they do is hard, but because they forget why they started doing it in the first place. They lose their why and as a result, they lose their way. When their attitudes slip, so do their efforts.
I believe most people who try to make a difference start out with the right motives and attitudes. As a result, the people they help gain a tremendous amount from them. But what often starts to occur is a shift in thinking, from I want to help people to I want people to help me. This is especially destructive when this shift occurs in the leaders. The moment that transition in attitude takes place, the leaders’ motives change. Instead of enlisting people to whom they can add value and who will join them in adding value to others, the leaders want to attract people who can add value to themselves.
When people are motivated by personal advantage, they’ve lost their way. As a result, they get off track and they can no longer make a difference. When you stop loving people, you stop serving them well. If you’re wondering, Why aren’t others serving me? it becomes a source of discontent. And if you’re a leader, you forfeit your leadership effectiveness.
Attitude so often is the difference maker. I had a friend who once said to me, “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. When life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” That’s a great attitude. And it’s the kind of attitude required to make a difference and connect with other difference makers.
And let me say one more thing about attitude. It’s easy to have a good attitude when life is good. The time a positive attitude really counts is when things are going badly. We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can always determine how we respond. When we choose the right attitude even when things are going wrong, that is highly attractive and appealing to the people who partner with us.
Question: Is your attitude an asset or liability?
7. The Winning Factor
My dream allows me to attract winners because big dreams draw big people.
When I wrote the above sentence for my “I Have a Dream” card, I can remember how I felt. The dream that I possessed thrilled me, but it had not yet attracted many people who could help me achieve it. I wanted to connect with people motivated by significance who could make things happen. But I also wondered how such people might react to my invitation.
Would they understand my dream?
Would my dream widen the gap between them and me?
Would they criticize it?
When I looked at the people I knew, I was tempted to keep my dream to myself. Sharing a dream that has deep personal meaning is a risk. It can invite ridicule or rejection. But I also knew that if I wanted to achieve the goal of making a difference, I had to connect with good people so that we could work together. So I gathered my courage, took a leap of faith, and made the decision to tell others.
The responses I received were varied and interesting. Most people fell into one of three categories: survival, success, and significance. People interested only in survival hid. They wanted no part of my vision. Some people who were seeking success bought in. But the ones who most readily connected were those who wanted significance. Big dreams draw people with potential who want to jump in the deep end, way over their heads, and learn to swim.
Another discovery I made while sharing my dream was surprisingly delightful. Dreams often come one size too big so that we can grow into them. It’s like when I was a child and my parents always bought my shoes half a size too big. They would say, “John, you’re growing. You’re becoming a young man. You will grow into these in no time.”
That’s what I now say to people when they first put on their significance shoes. They may feel a little too big for you at the moment, but don’t worry. As you start taking steps, you will grow into them and become the significant person you were created to be.
Are you taking the risk of sharing your dream with others? And are talented, successful, motivated people connecting with you so that you can try to achieve those dreams together? You need those winning kinds of people to make a difference. And you need to be one of those winners yourself!
When it comes to significance, I still feel like I’m wearing shoes that are too big and I need to grow into them. I’m still in over my head and trying to swim. And that’s good. I’m getting older in years, but younger in my dreams. That’s what makes me love this journey I’m on.
Question: Are you connecting with winners to achieve significance?
8. The Promise Factor
My dream allows me to see myself and my people in the future. Our dream is the promise of what we shall one day be.
When I wrote this phrase, I truly believed a worthy dream contained a promise of its fulfillment. But that was a naive mistake. I had made the same mistake most people make about dreams. I thought, If you believe it, you can achieve it. But that’s not always true. A dream requires a partner: commitment.
Dreams are free. However, the journey to fulfill them isn’t. You have to work for your dream. Your dream doesn’t work for you. You have to work with the dream and for the dream. The dream is a promise of what you can be, but commitment is the reality of what you will become. What starts as a promise ends as a commitment.
Question: Have you committed to a path with great promise for you and others?
9. The Invitation Factor
Yes, I have a dream. It is greater than any of my gifts. It’s as large as the world but it begins with one. Won’t you join me?
We all have a certain amount of luck in our lives, but the best luck is what I like to call “who luck.” Why? Because who you connect with matters the most. The “who luck” in your life can be either good or bad, depending on who joins you. I’m sure you know that instinctively. Haven’t you met people who worked with you who made it easier for both of you to make a difference? And haven’t you also connected with people you later wished you’d never met—because they hindered your ability to make a difference? I have.
All my life I’ve looked for ways to connect with others, as a church leader, a business leader, and a communicator. But you don’t have to be a leader to invite people to something of significance. You just need to be committed to your cause and open to working with others to achieve it. If you think leadership is getting people to follow you, you may be a good leader. But if you think leadership is getting people to follow a great cause, you have the potential to be a great leader. If your why is big enough to excite you, then, as you share it, it will excite others—especially those who share your passion and dream. The size of your why will determine the size of your response.
Question: Are you ready to start inviting others to join you in living a life that matters?
Right now are you only dreaming about making a difference, or are you actually doing things to connect with people who can join you on the significance journey? Movements don’t begin with the masses—they always start with one, and then they attract others to themselves and their causes. That was the case in the antiapartheid movement in South Africa. In 1941 this is what South African anti-apartheid activist Walter Sisulu wrote about Nelson Mandela: “We wanted to be a mass movement and then one day a mass leader walked into the office.”