REID sat out on the front porch steps, drawing and crying, drinking one cup of coffee after another. He had his music up so loud he couldn’t see. All their songs, one after another—the song that was playing when they met, when they danced the first time, when they got engaged and married.
When they found out they were going to become dads.
He set his iPad beside him and dropped his head in his hands. Then he let himself sob.
Reid never heard anyone coming, so the hand on his shoulder had him jumping out of his skin. He jerked to his feet, going down on one ankle hard. “Fuck!”
“Shit. Reid? You all right?” Those hard hands caught him, still as much cowboy as businessman.
No. “I think so. Sorry. I was trying to be quiet. Are the girls okay?”
“They’re sleeping hard. Travel day, huh?” That crooked grin was so familiar.
“Yessir. They’ve been real good.” He stayed in the shadows. Mat read people’s faces like he read a book, and there was no way he’d get away unnoticed with tears still on his cheeks.
“They have. Thanks for letting me have them tonight. We read all the new books your folks sent. How are they?”
“Happy. They love it out there. I can’t believe they really moved.” They were ready to live their own lives, they said. They lived where Mickey Mouse did, so they were pretty sure they’d see their grandkids. They were right…. “They bought a little condo.”
Were they making small talk?
“Wow. I just… Florida. Your parents are always so Texas to me.”
“I know. They say they’re happy. They’re going to travel a lot.”
“Uh-huh.” Mat chuckled. “I bet they travel to Texas. A lot.”
“I hope they come see me.” He bet it was going to be Pappy and Granny back home.
“Your dad likes his chicken fried steak.” Mat was grinning, sharing the old joke.
“No shit on that.” He didn’t know what to say next.
I still love you?
I miss you?
I might be happy with a blowjob?
Mat stared at him, eyes glinting in the light from the cabin windows. “I… I guess I’ll go check on the girls.”
“Okay. I… did you need something?”
“No. I mean, I heard you. I think. I was just checking.” Mat took a step toward him.
“I—” He leaned forward, the pain in his ankle sharp enough to make him wince.
“Here. Let me help you back inside, no? I didn’t mean to scare you.” Mat grabbed him and hoisted him right up.
“Oh.” He dropped his phone, the earphones popping out. “You Save Me” was playing. “God.”
Mat’s sharp intake of breath made time stand still, and they stood there, clutching each other, for endless moments.
“Papi? Why are you playing Daddy’s song?”
Lucia’s voice shocked them both, and Mat let go of him and down he went, agony slicing through him as his leg buckled and he smashed the hell out of his privates.
“Oh God. Luce, go get my ice pack from my little fridge, please?” Mat bent right back down to help him. “Sorry. Sorry. Jesus.”
“Did I break my—” Balls. “—iPad?”
“I don’t think so, querido. I think you’ll be fine.” Mat was laughing at him now. Laughing. Butthead.
He snorted, managing to rescue phone and iPad before limping to the bench.
“You don’t want to go inside?”
“Here, Daddy. Did you hurt your head?” Lucia came back with the ice pack.
“Uh… Matty?” He was just lost.
“Thanks, baby girl. Go check on your sister, and I’ll be right there.” Mat effortlessly took control. He always had. As soon as Luce disappeared, Mat had him up and moving again, lying on his bed in seconds. “Balls or ankle for the ice?”
“Like I can ans—ahh!” His eyes crossed as Mat pressed the ice against his sac.
“I know. But it will help. Give it a few, then switch it to the ankle.” Mat bent to kiss his cheek, stunning him into immobility, at least until Mat slipped out of his room.
He slumped back.
God hated him.
God really hated him, and he didn’t want to think about the state of the family jewels.