MAT lay on the bed, looking at his husband and his kids. They’d all dozed off but him, and he got to watch over them now.
Dani was in his arms, thumb in her mouth, while Lucia was draped across both her fathers’ legs. He’d bet Reid’s leg would be sore as a boil when he woke up, poor baby.
They still needed to talk. He was going to have to make an appointment for that, maybe.
Crate and Barrel. Shit. Had he been the one holding Reid back? Had he been stifling him in some way? The thought made Mat queasy. He loved Reid, wanted him to succeed.
He also wanted them all to be a family. Together. Reid was stressed and exhausted. Mat could read that in the naps, in the tension Reid carried in his shoulders. It felt like Reid was dragging a boulder around, and Mat got that. Hell, he’d spent his entire professional life doing it. However, he was figuring that shit out. He was backing off, delegating, and it was working for him.
Maybe… well, maybe they could help each other.
Maybe for the first time in a long time, they could work together, for the girls, for them.
That would make his soul happy.
Luce turned her head, smiled at him. “Love you, Papi.”
“I love you too, baby girl.” Looking at her was like looking at a mirror sometimes.
“Are we moving away to Florida?”
“Nope. Your Daddy doesn’t want to live there, huh? Do you?”
“No. Daddy cried the whole time.” She sighed. “He cries a lot when we’re supposed to be in bed.”
“What about you?” His heart was gonna break right in two.
“I wanted to go to Disney and see Granny and Pappy, but then it was time to come home. Little girls need their daddies and their papis.”
“They do.” God, she was his big, brave girl, and he loved her so much it hurt.
She leaned up on one elbow, making Reid grunt. “Are you and Daddy going to get married and live together again? Dani doesn’t ’member, but I do.”
He closed his eyes, for a split second, and offered up a prayer. Por favor, Lord. From her lips to your ears. “I would like that, mi’ja. We have some stuff to work out and talk about, so I don’t want to get your hopes up.”
“Pop-Pop says to pray real hard and it might come true.”
“Pop-Pop is a wise man.” And clearly in the back-together camp.
She blinked. “Pop-Pop helped Mary with the baby Jesus?”
“No, baby. He’s not one of the three wise men. He’s just a smart guy.” He wanted to howl with laughter.
“Oh.” She looked disappointed, but only for a minute. “Good. I like Pop-Pop without his beard.”
“Did he have a beard?” He couldn’t imagine.
“No, Papi. The wise mans!”
“Oh!” He laughed now, just roaring with it.
Dani’s eyes popped open, and she started crying. Reid immediately woke up and reached for her.
“Shhh. It’s okay, baby girl. I’m sorry I was loud.” Mat reached out to touch her cheek, even as he smiled at Reid. “Papi’s got you.”
“What’s funny, darlin’?” His Reid looked amazing, all rumpled and sleepy.
“My dad as one of the three wise men.” He winked. “I’ll explain later, huh?”
“Oh wow. Wise men. At least that’s better than someone announcing he’s Jesus….”
“Well, I do have a cousin named Jesus.”
Reid looked at him, shoulders shaking—silently at first, but then the laughter burst out. “Cute guy? Mohawk?”
“Indeed. Pierced nose.” He winked. “Who needs to pee?”
“Me, Papi.” Luce pushed up, and Reid winced.
“Okay.” He lifted her right off Reid’s leg, then scooped Dani into his arms as well. “Raarrrr.”
Dani squealed, “Papi monster!”
“Off we fly.” He zoomed them to the bathroom, letting Luce go first while he twirled with Dani. This felt normal and right.
Dani beamed at him, her eyes just like Reid’s. “Papi! Again! Do it again!”
“Okay, baby girl.” He twirled, laughing when she hooted. “You sound like a cowboy!”
From the bedroom he heard “Yippee kai yay!”
“First you go pee.” He plopped Dani in the bathroom.
“Sí, Papi.”
“Daddy, can I play outside in the yard?” Lucia loved being outside in the sun.
“Sure, honey. Stay in the fenced part, okay?”
“I promise, Daddy. There’s a sandbox!” She came up to Mat, eyes wide. “A sandbox! Tell Sister?”
“I will. Be good.” He waved her out, so she took off running. She was so cute! “Dani, your sister’s outside in the sandbox.”
“I go? Please?”
He loved when Dani was so excited she used baby talk. He’d missed so much of her toddler age that he ached.
“You need shoes. I saw Luce grab hers.” He would have to help—
“I have flip-floops….”
“Flops,” he corrected. “Daddy and I will get some food, huh?” He could watch them out the window.
“Flop, flop, flop, floopy flop!”
He started laughing, hard guffaws that actually hurt, they came so fast.
“You guys okay?” Reid called.
“We’re flooping!” Mat hollered, making Dani scream with laughter.
“Well, I can’t floop!” Reid was laughing now. “Help me, darlin’.”
“God, I love you, Daniela.”
“I love you more, Papi, with my whole heart.”
“Mmm. Okay, shoes and Sister.” He kissed her forehead. “I need to help Daddy.” She couldn’t possibly love him more.
“’Kay!” She bounced off, her eyes shining, and he went to Reid, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling out the window at Luce.
“Did you need help going to the potty?” He grimaced. “Did I just ask you if you needed to potty like I would ask the girls?”
“You totally did. It’s so classy, being dads.”
“You know it. So, do you?” He winked, willing to carry Reid if he needed to.
“Yeah. Dork.” Reid held his arms up. “Help me up, old man.”
“Old!” Mat hoisted Reid to his feet. “Crutches?”
“Yeah. You know how dumb I feel? Breaking my ankle at a wedding?”
“You’re not dumb. It was all kind of a shock.” He felt awful, in fact.
“Yeah. I just… yeah. It was really dumb luck.”
“It was.” He took a kiss while Reid was leaning on him. Then he retrieved the crutches so he could watch the girls while Reid headed to the bathroom.
His babies were playing together, Luce bossing her sister around imperiously. Such goofy loves. Man, Reid should have brought the dog….
“Who has Dolly?”
“Marta. She’s staying at the house while we were in Florida.”
“She is?” Did Marta even like Dolly? “Did she like the nanny?”
“You know she didn’t. She considers the girls hers. The dog too.”
“Ah. Well, I would love to have her if you need to take some time. You know. Ever.” Mat rolled his eyes at himself. “You know what I mean.”
“I….” There was a silence, a flush, and then Reid appeared in the bathroom doorway. “I do know. I want… I mean, I want us to talk. I don’t want to be enemies anymore.”
“Me too. I mean, I want us to talk. To work toward, well, us. I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves, but I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
God, the words felt like salve over a deep bruise, like the world was just a little easier to face.
He helped Reid back to the bed when he came out, then sat next to him, holding his hand. Both girls were digging to China in the sandbox.
“They’re good girls. They love you.”
Mat knew that. What he wanted to know was whether Reid still wanted him. It would take all the love they had to work out their shit, he figured. That was what they hadn’t done, was work on it, like his mama said. They’d let it all go too easily.
Reid stroked his hand with careful touches, drawing circles with one callused thumb. Potter’s hands. He loved those calluses on his skin.
Mat shivered, smiling. “I’ll call Ted today and have him drop the motion.”
“I’m sorry for taking them for so long. It was stupid. Hell, it was illegal, and they missed you.” Reid turned to face him. “Thank you. I… they’re your girls as much as they’re mine. I was stupid and panicked, and once I got to Momma’s, I just crystallized. I was out of line. They’re ours.”
“They are, and we have to stop using them as weapons.” The way Lucia had cried about wanting them all to be happy again had almost broken him.
“Yeah. I didn’t mean to. I was scared. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I didn’t either, baby. I didn’t want to lose them, and I drove you right away. I just… if they were going to have to stay with a nanny, I didn’t see why I couldn’t have more time instead.” He’d been so hurt. So mad.
“I was scared that I….” Reid’s lips tightened, and he shook his head.
“No.” He reached over to squeeze Reid’s hand. “Talk to me. Tell me.”
“They’re all I’m living for, without you. I can’t face only putting them to bed four nights a week.” Reid wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You’re so much stronger than I am, darlin’. So much better at all this.”
“Oh.” His eyes burned. “No, I’m not.” He laughed a little, hoping it didn’t sound bitter. “I just didn’t sleep for the first year.”
And Reid cried enough that Lucia noticed it, worried. They were idiots, both of them.
“No wonder your belly hurts.”
“And you’re jumpy enough to break a leg at a wedding.” Mat had to smile, touching Reid’s cheek. “See? That was hard, but we did it.”
“Do you think this is… like, a truce?” Reid leaned into his touch.
“There’s nothing wrong with starting that way, right?” Mat thought a truce could turn into lasting peace in no time. “I think we really needed to see each other. Be together.”
“Do you remember why we fell in love?” The question seemed to come out of left field.
“Uh, you mean rodeo and fry bread tacos?” Mat didn’t want to be flip, but they’d had a lot of shared interests.
“Rodeo, fry bread tacos, sure, but I fell in love with you during that first big snowfall at home. You bought me boots and had them sent to the house.”
“You were going to freeze, you Texan.” He’d been in love since the first night at the Rodeo de Santa Fe, when they’d ended up sharing a box seat with a couple from England, and that Texan had known all the rules. Reid had been smart, funny, with the most fascinating blue eyes, and he’d been out and proud, not making Mateo guess.
Mat had asked for another date right off, to which Reid had replied, “This was a date?”
Not blinking an eye, Mat had come back with “Rodeo set us up. It’s meant to be.”
“Rodeo set us up,” Reid whispered.
“Yep. See? Meant to be.” Mat squeezed Reid’s hand.
“Meant to be. You never doubted me, until the end.”
“Oh, querido, I never doubted you. I just didn’t know what to do once we got to that point.”
Reid sighed and shook his head. “I couldn’t compete locally in Santa Fe. I needed to find someone willing to represent me to a wider audience. You have to understand that. I’m not Native American, I’m not a cowboy, and I’m not…. Christ, it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does.” He spread his hands, trying to get Reid to see what he meant. “It matters what you felt, what you feel, but you would only stare at me. Not talk to me.”
“I felt like a loser! I felt like you were disappointed in me, for being the girls’ dad, for taking care of you.” When Reid looked up at him, all that pain was there, all the dirty water under their bridge.
“And I thought you hated me for leaving you alone so much when I was working to make sure the girls had what they needed.” He put a finger to Reid’s lips when he would have interrupted. “I know. I was too wrapped up, and I’m sorry if I made you feel less.”
“I just want you to be proud of me.”
“Oh, querido, I am.”
Reid’s phone buzzed, and Mat jumped. He’d forgotten the phones were on the bedside table.
“Oh God. I didn’t look at that contract. I cuddled up with you and the girls and fell asleep.” Reid looked utterly horrified.
“Okay. I’ll get your laptop.” They’d made progress, right? They could talk again later. “I’ll get you set up and go play a bit.”
“Thanks. I’m going to be swept under with all this. It’s all good, though. It’s a good thing.”
“If you need help….” He had no idea what he would do, but he did know contract law.
“Do…. You know what, I’m not going to add to your work stress.”
“Hey. I’m okay. Really, I’d love to help.” They both had to learn to ask, right?
“Yeah? I’d love a second set of eyes.”
“Then let’s have a look.” He had to admit, he was being nosy too. He wanted to see what was happening with Reid’s work these days.
They got Reid’s computer and fired her up, the contract right there, along with half a dozen emails from Rog. Impressive.
He bit back his grin. Agents of all kinds were impatient people, whether talent or real estate. Whatever.
The deal Crate and Barrel offered was a little breathtaking, but they wanted a shit-ton of design in very, very little time. Christ, his lover was going to lose his mind.
“The deal is good, but that’s a ton of stuff in just a few weeks. How long would you normally take for a project like this?” He thought they could extend the deadline almost a month.
“Six months is short. A year is better. This is asking for production by August.”
“Assuming they want it out for Christmas?” He tapped his fingers against his chin.
“There’s no way. Next Christmas, maybe? Or spring?” Reid shook his head. “They’re asking for clean, modern—that’s not screaming holiday.”
“Then I would say try to push it to a November due date. That gives you the six months.” They were just pushing because they could. Reid was a small producer; they had to know that. Mat was sure Rog would do some of this wheeling and dealing, but it was important for Reid to start out like he could hold out.
“Can I do that? It’s okay? I can’t lose this client.”
“You can. I mean, Rog will negotiate it all, but you tell him your real deadline, the one you have to have, and let him go back and forth.” He felt kinda amazing, being able to help.
“Yeah? Okay. I’ll try. The business part of this, well, business is hard.”
“It’s weird if you aren’t used to it.” He nudged Reid with his elbow. “That’s why you have an agent, but remember, they expect you to negotiate.”
“I don’t feel big enough to do that. One day.”
“August is too soon, baby.”
“I know. I’ll miss all Lucia’s last summer before school.”
“Nope. Like I said. Negotiate. Crate and Barrel wants you because Pottery Barn does. They’ll play ball.” Demand….
“Right. Okay. I’ll tell Rog.”
God, his lover was a sweet, gentle man. So worried about upsetting anyone, and Mat worried he’d steamrolled Reid. A lot. That was going to be on his list of things to work on.
Reid kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, darlin’.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll go get the girls, huh? Finish up and we’ll have lunch?”
“Sounds good. Are you best-manning again tonight?”
“Nope. The guys are all nursing hangovers, the ladies are camping, and I’m off duty until tomorrow. Oh! But we’re all having dinner with the uncles.” Mat bounced.
“Yeah? The girls will enjoy that so much. Tell the guys I said hey, would you?”
“No.” Okay, so maybe he would ramrod Reid one more time. “I mean we’re all going to supper with the uncles.”
“I thought it was only for family?” That was hope he saw in Reid’s eyes. He knew it.
“It is. Mama and Pop both ordered me to invite you, as if I didn’t want to already.” His heartbeat kicked up.
“Really?” Oh damn. Look at that smile.
“Yep. I need to call Mama and find out what time they settled on.” He took a kiss, then cast an eye out at the sandbox.
Dani was making cups and plates, pale face a study in concentration while Luce was directing away. His baby girls needed some sunscreen.
And a bath.
“I’m going to go retrieve them before they burn to a crisp.”
“All those Florida clouds,” Reid teased.
“And genetics. Dani is like the snow.”
“She is.” Reid chuckled. “I still slather on SPF 30.”
“Mm-hmm. Your ass is still lily white.” He kissed Reid one more time. “Back in a jiff.”
“I bet you a blowjob she cries when you bring her in.”
“Oh, you’re on.” He would offer cookies or something.
Reid held out one hand to shake. “They love sandboxes.”
“They do.” He shook hands, but he would be a winner either way. Giving or receiving. Okay, time to gird his loins.
He headed out with a grin. “Where are my girls?”
“Papi!” Dani waved hysterically. “I’m making dishes like Daddy, and Luce is selling them to the stores.”
“Yeah? My talented girls. Want to get cleaned up and have lunch?” He hoped they just said yes.
“Can we eat out here?” Luce asked.
“I don’t want to eat sand, Sister!” Dani shook her head and held her arms up. “I’m hot, Papi.”
“You look it. Your cheeks are all red. Sunscreen from now on.” Luckily his baby girl thought sunscreen was like makeup, and would slather it on.
“Can I have a bath now?” Dani asked, and Luce’s frown deepened.
“Oh, me too? I can be hot too!”
“You can both have one. Dani can have the tub in my room, and Luce can have the one in Daddy’s.”
“Yay!” Luce took his hand. “Can we have bubbles and peanut butter and jellies with grapes for lunch?”
Because that wasn’t specific.
“I bet we can have whatever we want for lunch.” Surely Geoff had grapes. The man was a vegan.
“I love grapes, Papi. They’re my favorite.” Luce jabbered all the way inside, but Dani had gotten too much sun. She was drooping.
Mat would bet she would go without bubbles, without complaining, and have some water to drink. Maybe some nice apple juice. Poor baby, she was just so little still. Her body gave out way faster than Luce’s.
“Oh man. She got hot, huh?” Reid shook his head. “You got this, darlin’?”
“Luce wants bubbles. Can I set her up with you, listen for her? I’ll take Dani to the other room.”
“Totally. No problem. The bubbles are in the bag with the bath toys.”
God, it felt good for Reid to trust him, not to question him.
“Dani, stay with Daddy a minute, huh?” He dug a juice box out of the fridge in Reid’s room. He’d known it would be there. “Come on, Luce. We’ll bubble.”
Dani crawled up onto the sofa with Reid, who kissed her forehead and frowned. “Toss me a wet cloth, darlin’?”
“Sure.” He got the water going in the bath, then took a wet cloth back to Reid. “Tell me if she doesn’t cool off soon, huh?”
“Yessir. She’s just got a little sun.”
“I thought so. A nice bath will help.” Mat moved back to turn off Luce’s water and help her in the tub. “So, no standing up without me, no eating bubbles, and no putting your face underwater. Right?”
“You got it, Papito-beanito!”
“I’ll call for lunch here in a minute.” He left the door open so Reid could listen for her. “Dani, you ready?”
“Uh-huh. Daddy said I have bubbles too.”
“Do you?” He checked in with Reid over her head.
Reid nodded. “The peach ones. The octopus and dark-haired Barbie are hers.”
“Got it.” He would collect all the stuff and— “Can you order lunch, querido? PB&J with grapes for Luce. Dani, do you want grilled cheese? Or what Sister is having?” He’d learned with Lucia to give a few specific choices.
“Cheese, Papi. Cheese with grapes.”
“I’m on it. No problem.”
“Thanks, baby.” He hoisted Dani into his arms. “Bubbles, mi’ja.”
“Bubbles, Papi. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He did, so bad. He needed her to know it.
“Sister says you lived in Daddy’s house when she was little, and when I came, you moved away.”
“Oh, no. Don’t you ever think it was you who made me move out.” God, he’d assumed Dani thought the way they lived now was the norm.
“Then why? Don’t you like it there? You can share my room with me.”
He blinked, then kissed her on both cheeks. “Your daddy and I had some issues. That’s why I don’t live there right now.”
“Oh. You should make up.”
“We so should. Come on, mi’ja. In the bath.”
She nodded, getting in without any fuss at all. Soon she was singing and splashing, pure joy.
Mat got why Reid needed a nanny, really. Two girls who were this mobile were a challenge to a guy who needed time to work.
Still, he was aiming for twenty hours a week in the office, twenty hours a week at home, and Lucia was about to be in school.
That thought made his belly tighten.
Wow. Okay. He would be with Reid…. No. They hadn’t even talked about it. But Dani would nap….
And he intended to talk about it. With Reid. Soon.
They had to find a moment alone. Just an hour. Long enough to talk about… about forever. He grinned, his face threatening to split at the very idea.
A wet five-year-old went streaking and laughing hysterically through his rooms. “Daddy! Catch me!”
“Luce, I can’t!”
“I got you!” Mat grabbed a towel and swooped, lifting Luce right up.
“Papi!” She squealed and wiggled, laughing hard.
“I wanna play too!”
“Don’t you stand up, Daniela!” Reid hollered.
“You weren’t supposed to either,” he told Luce.
“Papi, I’m okay! I was lonely.”
“You want to get in with Dani?”
Luce lit up. “Yes!”
“Okay, kiddo. Dani, is that okay?” He knew Dani would say yes. She looked up to her sister.
“We can play Barbies.”
“Oh.” Luce wiggled to get down. “I’ll go get mine.”
Such good girls. “Scoot back, Dani, and I’ll run a little warm-up.”
“Sí, Papi.” She looked one hundred percent better, nothing more than a bit of pink on her cheeks.
“Good girl.” He would still get her juice and let her finish it. He got Luce in the bath, gave both girls juice, then set up the dining area in Reid’s cabin section for lunch delivery. Lord.
How had Reid done it all without him? Just the thought made him respect his husband even more.
Reid came limping in with the girls’ clothes and hairbrushes.
“You’re supposed to be on crutches, querido.”
“Am I?” Oh, he was getting the big, innocent eyes.
“You are. Sit.” He pulled out a dining chair. “I’ll dry and dress here in a few. What did you get us big kids for lunch?”
“Potato soup and bacon sandwiches.”
“That sounds amazing. I mean, I’ll be craving taco Tuesday when we get home, but the food here is so good.” He grabbed towels out of the little hall closet.
“I’ll make the guacamole….” That little offer made him shiver.
“I love your guac, baby.” He really did. “And you owe me a blowjob.”
“I know.” God, that was a happy smile.
“Just so you remember.” Mat winked, feeling so damn free and light.
“I’ll remember.” Reid licked his lips.
God, this overtly sensual, needy Reid made him crazy. Hard.
Reid reached across the table, offering his hand. Mat took it, squeezing. “The girls would interrupt us, huh?”
“Totally. I want to touch you, you know? Connect.”
“Me too. We can tonight. Promise me.” He wanted Reid so bad.
“You have my word.” Reid twined his fingers with Mat’s. “God, this feels so decadent.”
“Right?” Mat did have to wonder what things would be like at home, when life was both normal and crazy.
“Papi! Papi, Luce pooted in the bath and it made bubbles!” The sudden giggles were wild and hysterical.
“Bubbles in your bubbles!” He took the brushes and all and moved to the bathroom so he could scoop out his girls.
The little ones laughed and wiggled, so happy and joyful. God, he was lucky. They were healthy, smart, and loving. They were also relatively easy, as his mama was happy to tell him.
“Pop-Pop said we’re having a fancy dinner tonight. Are we wearing our fancy dresses?” Dani was obsessed with her flower girl dress.
“Not those, no. We need to keep those clean and not wrinkly for the big day.”
Dani got the big eyes and the pout, and then Reid saved the day. Again.
“You can wear your fairy dresses, baby, and then your Easter dresses for the rehearsal.”
“Okay! Are there sammies?”
“They’re on the way.” He got the girls dressed. “Let me do your hair, baby girl.”
“I want pigtails!”
“Me too!”
Oh God.
“Come sit with me, girls!” Reid called. “I can teach Papi how to do it.”
Good man.
“I want Papi to brush, though. Papi never pulls.” Luce grabbed his hand.
“Papi doesn’t have to rush you to swim class, gymnastics, cheer, softball, dance class, karate….”
“Please, Papi?”
“Of course I will.” Reid wasn’t wrong, but if she asked, Mat would move heaven and earth to help.
“When I start school, I move up to the big girl dance class, and Sister has to stay down because she’s little.” Luce plopped down as Reid held his arms open to Dani.
“So? I get to stay home with Daddy.”
“It’s all good, huh?” No fighting, please. Please. “School can be fun, but so can art and naps.”
“And you’ll be in pre-K next year. Maybe we can talk about preschool for a couple days a week. Maybe.” Reid chuckled, the sound a little wry. “I’m not sure Papi and I are willing to let you go already.”
Jesus. His heart stopped. He hadn’t had near enough time home with either girl, and he would love to stay home with Dani. Just—and Reid was talking about them being a couple again. For real.
He looked over, trying to breathe, and caught Reid staring right back at him. Those blue eyes never wavered, so he nodded. Okay, yes. They would figure this out.
Assuming they ever got more than seventeen minutes alone together at a time.