CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Overnight the temperature had dropped twenty degrees, but if the forecast was correct, it would rise forty degrees over the course of the day. Ellie didn’t mind running in the heat or the cold, but she wished the weather would make up its damn mind and stay one way for a while.

Ellie adjusted her gloves, pulled her toboggan down over her ears, and stepped out into the cold November morning. She jumped off the curb and ran down the middle of Main Street toward the light at Yourkeville Highway. She was running through her list of things to do for the day when she saw the small figure standing at the corner. Ellie’s stomach turned when the woman looked up at her and smiled.

“Hi!” Julie waved and walked toward Ellie.

“Hey.”

“I hope you don’t mind. You said we could run together, but we never set a day or time so I thought I’d ambush you.” Julie’s disarming smile almost took Ellie in.

“I run six miles.”

Julie’s smile faltered, before returning. “That’s fine.”

Ellie opened her mouth to warn Julie about her pace, but changed her mind. She grinned and said, “Let’s go.”

They’d jogged about a hundred yards when Julie spoke. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Nope.” She always wore shorts, no matter the weather. The cold air on Ellie’s legs was a welcome contrast to the warmth of her upper body. Plus, the colder her legs, the faster she ran.

“I hear you run every day.”

“I do.”

“Impressive. I suppose it’s a challenge, keeping the weight off.”

Ellie cut her eyes at Julie. Her face was calm, slightly red from the cold, but not in danger. She was keeping up rather well. “It’s all about discipline.”

“You’re so right. I can’t tell you how bad I’d like to eat a chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes. If I did, it would go right to my ass and thighs. It’s not worth it. Try telling that to Jack and Ethan, though.”

Ellie glanced at her watch. Two minutes and she’d already brought up Jack. This was going to suck.

“Did Kelly tell you about my weight loss?”

“No. Michelle.”

“Ah.”

“She also told me about your ex-husband. What a dick. Makes me realize how lucky I am.”

“Did Michelle mention she was one of the ones fucking my husband?”

“Um …”

“And she was the one who told me about Jinx’s infidelities? With great detail, I might add.”

“No,” Julie panted. “She seemed happy to hear about you and Eddie.”

Ellie laughed. “I bet she was.”

They ran to the stoplight at Boondoggle and Main and stopped. “You don’t think she purposely …”

“Gave Eddie a blow job Saturday night? Yeah.”

“That’s awful.”

“That’s Michelle for you.”

“You don’t care?”

The light turned red and they crossed. “She can screw Eddie if she wants. We’re just friends.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Why?”

“He’s not right for you. You’re too buttoned-up for Eddie.”

Ellie stopped abruptly and turned to Julie. She was gratified to see Julie’s face turn red. “Why does that sound like an insult?”

“I don’t mean it to. Eddie’s always liked more gregarious women.”

“Really? ’Cause it seems to me his primary consideration is how quickly and far apart a woman will spread her legs. How long did you know him before you spread yours?”

“Excuse me?”

“He told me. One night out at my lake house. We’d had too much to drink and he started talking. Told me all about the two of you. Don’t worry.” She patted Julie on the shoulder. “I’m good at keeping secrets.”

Ellie took off running, this time at her normal pace, and tried to forget Julie was running with her. After a few dozen yards, it wasn’t difficult. She’d left Julie in the dust. Ellie glanced over her shoulder to see how far back Julie was and was surprised to see her gaining. She was a determined little thing, Ellie gave her that. She slowed so Julie could catch up.

“Why don’t you like me?” Julie asked, panting slightly.

“Why would you think that?”

Julie rolled her eyes. “I thought you, of all people, would understand. I expected us to be friends.”

Ellie laughed. “Why?”

“You’re single, independent, successful. You don’t need a man to take care of you. You’d probably cut the balls off of a man who tried.”

“It’s always a compliment for a single woman to be called a man-hater.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Julie put her hands on her hips. “I get it. I understand why people judge me for leaving last year. I mean, never mind that men do it all the time. Mothers aren’t allowed to stand up for themselves when they’re being mistreated.”

“Mistreated? By Jack?”

“There are more ways to be mistreated than by being a bully like Brian Grant, and trust me, Jack is the master of many of them.”

Ellie narrowed her eyes, questions dancing on the tip of her tongue. But it wouldn’t do to be too interested in Jack and his supposed failings as a husband. “Are we going to run or not?”

Julie waved her hand like Vanna White. “Lead on.”

They ran for a while in blessed silence, but Julie seemed to have an agenda with this run, and she spoke up. “Neglect is a form of abuse, you know.”

Ellie sighed. God this woman was a narcissist. “He wasn’t paying enough attention to you?”

“To either of us. He worked constantly, late at night, on the weekends.”

“He was supporting his family.”

“Wow. You, too. He was avoiding his family. But men are allowed to wrap their faults in a blanket of dedication to their career, which of course they’re only dedicated to for the good of their family.”

“Careful, Julie, your bitterness is showing. Why did you come back then?”

“I hoped Jack would have a new appreciation for the job I did for thirteen years.”

“And does he?”

“It’s hard to tell. He’s never around. Regression to the mean in action.”

Ellie stopped. “Excuse me?”

“Regression to the mean,” Julie said, breathing heavy. “It means—”

“I know what it means,” Ellie snapped.

Julie lifted her head and her mouth opened in a small “o.” “Oh, so you’re surprised I know what it means, is that it?” Julie smirked. “Well, at least you have the politeness to look ashamed. I graduated with honors from UT, for your information. Major in finance, minor in economics. You just assumed I was an airhead. Or did Jack tell you that?” She crossed her arms and appraised Ellie. “How close are you to my husband?”

Ellie skirted the question. “What do you mean, regression to the mean in action?”

“Jack didn’t want his wife back; he wanted his nanny, housekeeper, and cook back.”

“If it’s so horrible being married to him, why not just divorce him?” Ellie said.

“For a few reasons, but honestly?” she leaned forward and kept her piercing eyes on Ellie’s. “Every time I think, it’s over, I’m done, Jack fucks me so well I forget all of his faults. I wouldn’t have thought he’d be faithful to me for a full year; he wasn’t before I left, why would he be when I was gone? But if his fucking is any indication, he hasn’t been thoroughly laid in a year. Trust me, there’s no other motivation not to take Ethan and leave this town.”

Ellie didn’t know if a sob or a laugh was working its way up her throat until she turned, bent over, and vomited. She kept her hands on her knees and her head down. She spit bile from her throat and took a deep breath. Julie placed a hand on her back. “Are you okay?”

Ellie stood and shifted away from Julie’s touch. “I’m fine. Just a bug I can’t shake.”

Julie studied her with a good deal of suspicion. “You aren’t pregnant, are you?”

Ellie stared at Julie. “I can’t have children.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m used to running by myself. It gives me a chance to plan out my day. So, I’m going to go on. I have to be at the polls at seven.”

“Yeah. Sure,” Julie said. “Sorry if I slowed you down.”

“It’s fine. Can you find your way back home?”

Julie tilted her head to the side and, her voice dripping with sarcasm, said, “In a town with two red lights, I think I can manage.”

For the first time in three years, Ellie cut her run short. She bounded up the stairs to her flat two at a time, rushed through the door, and was barely in the bathroom before she vomited again. When all that was left was dry heaving, she flushed the toilet, closed the lid, and collapsed back against the bathtub. She stared straight ahead, seeing the past instead of the present. She stood in front of Jack, removing the stitches over his eye while he admired her naked breasts. She closed her eyes and remembered how he took her into the bedroom and made love to her slowly, deliberately, tenderly. He had been insatiable that night, and the other two nights they had been together.

Three nights. That was all they had. Three nights.

The pregnancy test lay where she left it the night before, on the edge of the sink, next to the toilet, its double pink lines appearing ten years too late.

Six weeks of pent up emotion exploded from her, her sobs ricocheting off the walls like shrapnel. She clutched her stomach, lay down on the cold, tile floor, and gave in to a level of despair she hadn’t allowed herself to feel for thirty years.

When Jack walked into the kitchen, Julie and Eddie were pointedly ignoring each other.

“Good morning,” Jack said.

“Morning.” Their replies were mumbled and out of synch.

Jack noted Julie’s clothes and said, “You go running?”

“I did.”

Jack poured his coffee. He held the mug out to Julie. “Want a cup?”

“Thanks.”

“She went running with Ellie,” Eddie said.

Jack was glad his back was to his wife. “How was it?” he asked, trying to lace his voice with boredom. “I hear she’s fast.” He turned and leaned against the counter.

“She’s not that fast.”

Jack hid his smile behind a sip of coffee. Julie’s petulant voice told him she’d had a hard time keeping up with Ellie. No surprise since Ellie’s legs were about five inches longer than Julie’s. The memory of those long, toned legs wrapping around him flashed through his mind. Her mischievous eyes. Her crooked smile. Her throaty laugh.

Guilt stabbed at his chest. Fuck staying away until Julie signs the papers. He needed to see Ellie. Alone. Today.

“If nothing else, it confirms what I suspected. Ellie Martin does not like me.”

“She hardly knows you,” Jack said.

“Doesn’t matter. She’s jealous.”

“Why would she be jealous of you?” Eddie asked.

“Women like her who don’t have a husband or children are always jealous of those of us who do.”

“That’s a gross generalization,” Jack said.

Julie shrugged.

“She isn’t jealous of you—she doesn’t understand how someone who has a loving husband and great kid would abandon them for a year,” Eddie said.

Julie narrowed her eyes. “Did she tell you that during one of your wine-soaked nights together?”

“As a matter of fact, she did.”

“I can only imagine all the deep, dark secrets you shared.”

Jack’s head was moving back and forth between his brother and his wife as though he were at a tennis match.

Eddie smirked. “A fair few.”

“I can imagine what else came up during those nights.”

“It was one night.”

Jack tamped down his jealousy. Eddie’d assured him nothing was going on, that he and Ellie were friends. His phone buzzed. He fished it out of his pocket and saw Ann Newberry’s number.

“That’s all it takes.”

Jack answered his phone and said, “Hang on, Ann.” He placed the phone against his chest and said, “What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t stop running with her because she was too fast. She got sick. Puked on the side of the road.” Julie stood, coffee mug in hand, and glared at Eddie. “I’d bet my life she’s pregnant. Congratulations, Eddie. You’re going to be a father.”

Eddie lay on the bed, his legs crossed at his ankles when Julie walked into the bedroom, hair wet and wearing only a towel. She paused, then went to the dresser.

“You’re going to be late for work,” she said. She opened a drawer, dropped her towel, and stepped into a thong.

“This is more important.”

She made an indistinct noise in her throat. She put on her bra and walked to the closet.

“I never had sex with Ellie.”

“Please, you have sex with anyone who’ll let you.”

“True. She wouldn’t let me.”

“What? Eddie McBride losing his touch?”

“Rumor is I’m too much like her ex-husband.”

Julie looked over her shoulder. “Really?”

Eddie shrugged.

Julie turned back to the closet. “Well, she’s fucking somebody.”

“How are you so sure she’s pregnant?”

“Women’s intuition.” Julie pulled a T-shirt over her head. “Plus, she’s fine in the afternoon and evenings. It’s not rocket science.” She walked to the dresser, picked up a brush, and ran it through her hair.

“Come here.”

Julie looked at him in the dresser mirror. “Are you still fucking Michelle Ryan?”

“Are you still fucking my brother?” She focused on her task and didn’t answer. “No need to respond. These walls are paper thin, you know.”

“Fuck you.”

Eddie got up from the bed and moved next to Julie. “You getting a charge out of fucking both of us? Want to do us together? Jack might go for it. We did it once in college.”

“Shut up.”

“Before we met you, of course.”

“I said shut up.”

“I don’t think Jack would go for it now, though. He’s pretty big on monogamy.”

Julie slammed the brush down and tried to turn away. Eddie grabbed her by the arms. “You have to choose. Me or him.”

Julie laughed. “Then what? You abandon your tomcatting and settle down with me?”

“Tomcatting?”

“Can you think of a better word?”

“No.”

Julie looked at Eddie’s hands on her arms. “You’re hurting me.” He released her, but stayed close. Her voice softened and she lost a bit of her combativeness. “Eddie, I’ve watched you screw up your life for twenty years. Why would I choose you over the stability I have with Jack?”

“Have you forgotten what you said to me yesterday?”

She shook her head.

“Say it again,” he said.

“No.”

“ ‘You were always the one I wanted.’ Have you changed your mind in the last twenty-four hours?”

“It’s going to take more than a quickie in the shower to make me give up my life.”

“Bullshit. You gave it up last year for less.”

“Yes, well last year my father bankrolled me. He won’t bankroll you.”

“Did you come back because your daddy cut you off?”

“Please. My dad wouldn’t cut me off if I were a serial killer.”

“Then why?”

Julie cleared her throat. “I missed my family.”

“Ha! Try again.”

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because I know you, Jules.”

Julie pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Ethan emailed me and told me about Jack’s plan to divorce me. I divorce him. He doesn’t divorce me.”

Eddie stepped back. “You couldn’t stand the idea Jack and Ethan were getting on with their lives, could you? As long as you thought they were waiting for you, pining for you, you had no qualms about staying away.”

“Come on, Eddie. You aren’t the committing type. Why can’t we enjoy each other occasionally?”

“I won’t do that to my brother.”

“You’ve already done it once.”

“And if I tell him about it, he’ll use it as grounds for divorce.”

Julie’s face tightened. “You wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would. And I’d testify against you for custody. Wouldn’t be a very good ending for your book, would it? Or is the whole book thing bullshit, like everything you do?”

“It’s my word against yours. No one’s going to believe you.”

“Yeah they will, and you know it. With my reputation and yours, they’ll be more shocked we haven’t carried on for your entire marriage.”

She lunged forward, hand pulled back to slap him. Eddie caught her wrist. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and revealed the open voice memo app. “Say hi to the mic, Jules.”

“You son of a bitch. Get out.”

“Gladly.” He turned off the voice memo. “You’re going to give Jack the divorce he wants and you aren’t going to contest full custody.”

“Like hell I am.”

“And you’re going to leave Stillwater.”

Eddie’s phone buzzed with a text from Michelle:

Where are you? You’re late for your run.

Eddie suddenly felt bone tired. He was ready for this to be done. All of it. He wanted to be alone and away from all the crazy fucking women in his life.

He pocketed his phone.

“Which girlfriend was that from?” Julie said.

Eddie put his finger in Julie’s face. “Don’t fuck with me, Julie. Give Jack his divorce and get the hell out of Stillwater.”

“Or what?”

“Or I tell Ethan we’ve been sleeping together for your entire marriage.”

“You wouldn’t ruin your relationship with Ethan like that.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Trust me. You don’t want to take the chance.”