When David asked her about dancing . . . her expression had been full of “You-see-what-I-means,” and “Can’t you understands,” and David was annoyed and called her a mystic.
“Nothing exists, that can’t be expressed,” he said, angrily.
“I hope you realize that the biggest difference in the world is between the amateur and the professional in the arts.”
—Save Me the Waltz
Whenever we read the work of women writers, we are tempted to go to the biography for illumination; when we read Zelda Fitzgerald, we feel the temptation as a duty. The details of her life are as well known to literary types as Marilyn Monroe’s are to movie fans, and the appeal of the two is similar. Doomed and beautiful, suggestive of a particularly highly lit American gorgeousness, the tragic deaths of both women satisfy some deep need—for what?—retribution, justice, as if gifts given too lavishly require a lavish, public payment of the debt.
Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald was born on July 24, 1900. She was the same age as the century, although when her husband made a fictional character of her, he made her one year younger. Hers was an old Southern family; her father, a judge, was one of the pillars of Montgomery, Alabama; her family had owned slaves and been proud supporters of the Confederacy. Her parents were middle-aged when she was born; she was the youngest, by seven years, of her five siblings. Her mother was vague and indulgent; her father, admirable and aloof. She grew up, rather wild and untended, and became Montgomery’s premiere belle. In July of 1918, she met F. Scott Fitzgerald, an officer stationed in Montgomery, and in April of 1920, they were married. They quickly became the emblematic couple of their age, the Jazz Age, which Scott named. They spent wildly and drank heavily; they were careless and outrageous and brilliant in their self-display. In 1921, they had a daughter, who was named after her father. They moved to Europe: Paris, the Riviera—and they moved back to America. They knew everyone: Hemingway, and Gertrude Stein and Archibald MacLeish and the Murphys, Gerald and Sara, who made well known the Spanish proverb: “Living well is the best revenge.” (No one has ever asked on what or whom.)
Scott’s drinking turned from a good show to a bad scene; there were flirtations; Zelda, at the too late age of twenty-seven, tried to become a ballerina of the first rank. She began to have breakdowns in 1930; this was attributed to the strain of her futile commitment to the dance. Scott’s fortunes and popularity declined; she was in and out of mental hospitals, in and out of lucidity, in and out of crushing misery. At times, her beautiful body became covered with painful eczema. Scott went to Hollywood to try and make money; he became involved with the columnist Sheilah Graham, although he remained loyal to Zelda and continued to support her and to write her with the complicated devotion that marked all their relations. He died in 1940, in Graham’s apartment, reading about the Princeton football team. Zelda became increasingly incoherent; her zealotries turned religious. She again committed herself to Highland Hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. She died in 1948 in a fire caused by bad wiring, her body identified by her slipper caught beneath it.
If this is not, in the words of Ford Madox Ford, the saddest story you have ever heard, it is certainly one of them. As a story it is irresistible: the promise, the symbolic status of the characters, the wasteful, foolish fall. Would we be interested in the story if the male lead weren’t acknowledged to be one of the greatest writers of the century? If the material of the life hadn’t been shaped into work that we agree is of the highest order, would we give the life more attention than the latest installment of People magazine? This question brings in its wake another and, perhaps, more vexing one. We know about the male lead—he was a writer, we agree, a great one. But who was she?
Was she a writer? The text that follows would seem to make the question absurd. She wrote a novel, a play, stories, articles: she must have been a writer. The residual difficulty we have in according her this status reveals the loaded, the exalted nature of the word writer in our imaginations and our dreams. It is, in one way, easy to be a writer; any literate person can write. It’s not like painting, or playing a musical instrument; the skill required has been learned before the desire for questionable self-expression set in. It is, perhaps, most analogous to dance: all children dance, but who is a dancer? Is it because of our fear of our inability to distinguish between good and bad writing or between the serious and the fooling around that we want our categories to be so neat, and ringed by so implacable and dark a line? “The biggest difference in the world is between the amateur and the professional in the arts,” says David Knight to his wife, Alabama, in Save Me the Waltz, and we nod our heads in complicitous agreement. But is he right? Do we really want to say that the biggest difference in the world, even in the world of the arts, is between the professional—he or she who is paid for it, he or she who defines himself or herself by work—and he or she who is not paid, and who may not name him- or herself as a practitioner. Do we really want to say that this is a more important distinction than that between the talented or the nontalented artist, the artist who executes his or her vision fully and the one who does not? Rather, what placing the stress on amateur versus professionalism does is to indicate our attachment to the notion of art as commodity, that which can be traded, bought, and owned.
Scott Fitzgerald felt that Zelda’s using the same material (their lives) in Save Me the Waltz that he was planning to in Tender Is the Night was a personal betrayal. He felt, as well, that it was a threat to both the artistic execution and the public reception of his work. Why such a vehement display of insecurity? And why does the issue, nearly fifty years later, still seem a lively one?
The case of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald, their symbiotic relationship as creator and object of creation, may be unique in the history of literature—at least in the history of literary married couples. It is indicative, I think, of our attitudes not only about literature but about marriage as well. Our conventions dictate that the woman take on the man’s name; this would suggest that we consider a subsuming of the female identity in the male a seemly one. We are only now beginning to play with the idea that marriage should be a partnership of equals. But when this tentative perception collides with the superstition that good art is finite, our fears, our desire to nervously accuse and exclude, come to the surface. Why is it that we are tempted to ally ourselves with Scott Fitzgerald and to deny Zelda Fitzgerald the valorized place of writer? Why do we feel that if he’s the real thing, she can’t be? Why is it so difficult for us to examine her work as text that does and can exist independently of her husband’s? Why can’t we rejoice at the differences of their use of the same biographical stuff, rather than feeling we have to call one superior to the other? Why do we feel as if we can belong to only one of two armed camps, the camp that sees her as a formless, scattershot nothing who made a great writer’s last days miserable with her pretensions and demands, or the camp that is sure she wrote his best work, and blames him for her disintegration. Was it because she was beautiful, female, mad; and he was handsome and a drunk who died a failure? How can we clear away all these occlusions and read their work as work? In his case, the problem is smaller; his reputation was firmly in place before the facts of her biography became public lore. But in her case, real labor is required to read her without prejudice of one sort or another, to read her not as a symbol of something but as the creator of works of art.
Although they shared much of the same material, the approaches and use of it are dramatically different. They both rely heavily on the sensual apprehension of detail—but there the similarity ends. Scott Fitzgerald is a pretty even blend of classicist and romantic: his characters experience extreme emotions and situations, but they are described in sentences and stories and novels that are formally rhythmic and carefully shaped. Zelda Fitzgerald’s best prose is brilliantly uneven; her flights are high and wild, and the form draws its strength from the enigmatic appeal of the fragment. Scott Fitzgerald’s work is undeniably written; Zelda Fitzgerald’s gives the impression of the spoken word—its associative brilliance calls to mind Edmund Wilson’s comments on her conversation. “She talked with so spontaneous a color and wit—almost exactly in the way she wrote—that I very soon ceased to be troubled by the fact that the conversation was in the nature of free association of ideas and one could never follow up anything. I have rarely known a woman who expressed herself so delightfully and so freshly; she had no ready-made phrases on the one hand and made no straining for effect on the other.”1 Her descriptions are full of movement: often inanimate objects take on an overvivid and dangerous life. Flowers and food can turn disorienting or menacing in the blink of an eye. “She bought . . . a bowl of nasturtiums like beaten brass, anemones pieced out of wash material and malignant parrot tulips scratching the air with their jagged barbs, and the voluptuous scrambled convolutions of Parma violets . . . lemon-yellow carnations perfumed with the taste of hard candy . . . threatening sprays of gladioli, and the soft even purr of black tulips . . . flowers like salads and flowers like fruits . . . and flowers with the brilliant carnivorous qualities of Van Gogh.”2 Love and fear and horror mix themselves as well; she describes her beloved ballet teacher’s brown eyes as “like the purple bronze footpaths through an autumn beech wood where the mold is drenched with mist, and clear fresh lakes spurt up about your feet from the loam.”3 When Alabama realizes she is in love with David, her first response is a fantasy trip through his brain:
She crawled into the friendly cave of his ear. The area inside was gray and ghostly classic as she stared about the deep trenches of the cerebellum. There was not a growth nor a flowery substance to break those smooth convolutions, just the puffy rise of sleek gray matter. “I’ve got to see the front lines,” Alabama said to herself. The lumpy mound rose wet above her head and she set out following the creases. Before long she was lost. Like a mystic maze the folds and ridges rose in desolation; there was nothing to indicate one way from another. She stumbled on and finally reached the medulla oblongata. Vast tortuous indentations led her round and round. Hysterically, she began to run. David, distracted by a tickling sensation at the head of his spine, lifted his lips from hers.4
Over and over again, Zelda Fitzgerald takes up the method of the surrealists, confusing and conjoining realms, types, categories to make up a rich atmosphere. Her use of ands and commas to create a strung together, litany effect accentuates the pileup of dissimilar elements, and the reader is taken on an exhilarating ride that brings together glamour, terror, wit, and the seductive fog of the unconscious set loose. It is interesting to compare Zelda’s description of a schoolroom with the famous eyes of Dr. T. J. Eckleburg that begin chapter 2 of The Great Gatsby. Hers reads: “Flushed with the heat of palpitant cheeks, the school room swung from the big square windows and anchored itself to a dismal lithograph of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.”5 The description takes a perfectly ordinary room and makes of it an unmoored, comic strangeness. In comparison, Scott’s description of something that is, in itself, quite strange is remarkably low-voiced and bounded:
But above the gray land and the spasms of bleak dust which drift endlessly over it, you perceive, after a moment, the eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg. The eyes of Doctor T. J. Eckleburg are blue and gigantic—their retinas are one yard high. They look out of no face, but, instead, from a pair of enormous yellow spectacles which pass over a non-existent nose. Evidently some wild wag of an oculist set them there to fatten his practice in the borough of Queens, and then sank down himself into external blindness, or forgot them and moved away. But his eyes, dimmed a little by many paintless days under sun and rain, brood on over the solemn dumping ground.6
Scott’s language and syntax is smooth, formal, almost biblical; the offense of the sign is aesthetic and perhaps moral, but it is an offense, rather than a menace. What would Zelda have done with Doctor Eckleburg’s eyes? What crimes would they have seen, what punishments suggested? Scott Fitzgerald is a creator of myths; his characters are brought to their sad ends through forces that are foreseeable, and if unavoidable, at least explicable. The world, for Zelda, is too disorderly to be the stuff of myth; it is the material of dream, random, unfinished, with connections that can only be guessed at or left out.
It is possible to see the Twenties as both the stuff of myth or frenzied dream leading to nightmare, but Zelda’s deliberate cutting of integuments, her willingness to follow the associative trend are more distinctly modern in their quality than the shaped orderliness of her husband’s fictions. It is their mining of the unconscious, the irrational, that marks the great, revolutionary modernist works: Joyce’s Ulysses and Finnegans Wake, and the more radical creations of Gertrude Stein, for example. Zelda Fitzgerald knew Gertrude Stein, and, unlike her husband, had no use for her; Zelda considered Stein’s conversation “sententious gibberish.”7 She had little use for other women, and it’s hardly likely that she’d make an exeption in favor of one so serious, overweight, and ill-dressed as Gertrude Stein. But it’s a shame, because Zelda might have got some understanding from Stein; it’s amusing to speculate on the putting together of such strikingly different heads.
The first draft of Save Me the Waltz took only two months to write; it was completed at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Its structure is loose; it is joined together more by its preoccupations than by any balanced ideas of rhythm or pace. Its primary shaping element is the body of the father: lively and upright in the beginning, dead at the end. “ ‘Those girls,’ people said, ‘think they can do anything and get away with it.’ That was because of the sense of security they felt in their father. He was a living fortress. . . .”8 Later, the narrator says that the young girl “wants to be told what she is like, being too young to know that she is like nothing at all and will fill out her skeleton with what she gives off, as a general might reconstruct a battle following the advances and recession of his forces with bright-colored pins. She does not know that what effort she makes will become herself. It was much later that the child, Alabama, came to realize that the bones of her father could indicate only her limitations.”9 At the end of the novel, she looks at her father on his deathbed: “His wrists were no bigger than a bird’s.”10
Alabama, the marvelously named heroine, obviously stands for Zelda, as David Knight, Alabama’s painter-husband, stands for Scott. The novel traces the Knights’ life from Alabama’s girlhood to her father’s death. It is episodic, and the connections between episodes are not stressed. All of Zelda Fitzgerald’s strengths as a writer come to play in Save Me the Waltz, as well as the important themes she touched on in everything she wrote. It is a kind of jazz Bildungsroman, with the potent jerky mistiness of early film. It avoids the Bildungsroman’s usual inwardness and speculation; for Alabama, life is a matter of appearances, or perceptions; this is a sensual, rather than a psychological novel. Yet it does concern itself, like the ordinary Bildungsroman, with the young person’s creation of a self.
But this self is a female self, and a female self coming to maturity in the age of the flapper. For any girl, the process of self-definition is complicated by the world’s habit of defining her by how she looks; it is difficult for her to define herself in terms of who she is, rather than whom she is seen to be. For a belle in the year 1918, the problem of the constructed, observed, rather than authentic, self is particularly acute. In speaking of the “flapper,” that is to say, the young girl of her era, Zelda Fitzgerald is clear how much has to do with self-presentation, and self-dramatization. The ideal flapper, she tells us in her essays “Eulogy on the Flapper” and “What Became of the Flappers?,” is someone who is seen by and in a crowd, but is intimate with no one, “fully airing the desire . . . for dramatizing herself. . . . The best flapper is reticent emotionally and courageous morally. You always know what she thinks but she does all her feeling alone . . . an artist in her particular field, the art of being—being young, being lovely, being an object.”11 She is an artist; the form is the public dramatization, the material is herself. She has no models upon which to base this enterprise, and no community should she fail. The future holds nothing for her but the end of the art form. Yet, Zelda tells us, the successful flapper becomes the successfully bored young married woman: having sown her oats, she can settle down.
But Alabama doesn’t settle down. She marries her glamorous David, and has, rather perfunctorily, and absentmindedly, her perfect child Bonnie. She goes to Europe; she goes to the beach; she goes to parties. But this is not enough for her. She wants to express herself in terms larger than herself: she devotes herself to the ideal of Diaghilev’s Russian Ballet.
Alabama is devoted to the ideal of dance—an ideal expressed by her Russian teacher—and devotedness is not a quality the flapper possesses. She wants to serve something greater than herself (as the idea of her father is greater than herself) and to lose herself in the process. Her goals are ascetic and almost religious. “It seemed to Alabama that, reaching her goal, she would drive the devils that had driven her—that in proving herself, she would achieve that peace which she imagined went only in surety of one’s self—that she would be able, through the medium of the dance, to command her emotions, to summon love or pity or happiness at will, having provided a channel through which they might flow.”12 One of her colleagues at the studio says to her, “Oh, but you will be a dancer . . . but I do not see why, since you already have a husband.” Alabama replies: “Can’t you understand that I am not trying to get anything—at least I don’t think I am—but to get rid of some of myself.” It is as if, in the process of creating a self, she must literally express self—the excessive part of the self that was created by vanity and greed. Only forgetfulness of the self can create the true self—physical, emotional, and spiritual. “The complete control of her body freed her from all fetid consciousness of it.”13
The parameters of her journey are the bones of her father’s skeleton; there is no flesh to nourish or to knit the bones. Flesh belongs to the mother, and, like everything female, for Alabama, it is inferior. The aloof, father-judge is replaced by the implacable ideal of pure art; the female, growing in the middle, can only be starved into madness. Alabama’s quest for herself is very much of its time; the flapper, who bound her breasts so she might look like a boy, had to deny her femaleness in order to be freed from what she saw as its constraints.
Here is how Zelda Fitzgerald describes the female world that the flapper must rebel against in order not to be suffocated: “Women . . . go through life with a death-bed air either snatching the last moment or with martyr-resignation,” she says, and describes the kind of girl who preceded the flapper as “the kind of girl who . . . quoted the Rubaiyat at you and told you how misunderstood she was; or the kind who straightened your tie as evidence that in her lay the spirit of the eternal mother; or the kind who spent long summer evenings telling you that it wasn’t the number of cigarettes you smoked that she minded but just the principle, to show off her nobility of character.”14
Clearly, no communication between a girl of spirit and such dull girls as she describes is possible: she can only talk to men. Even the audience whom she assumes is a male audience (your tie is being straightened). “We were happy and we hated women,” she says in a letter to Scott, recalling their golden years. But the man who should be her partner in the journey away from suffocation is too unfixed to help her; he is not, like the father, the pole star to her comet. David is even more desperate than Alabama; while she dances, he drinks. And their child is nowhere for them; she is there to be slapped when she calls her mother a liar, to be shipped to her mother in Naples for a disastrous birthday party and back to her father to be his pseudo-paramour. No future lies ahead for them. “He and she appeared to her like people in a winter of adversity picking very old garments left over from a time of wealth.”15 They return home for the death of the father, and after that, there is nothing, only another dreadful party with food, drink, and people who can only make things worse. “On the cocktail tray, mountains of things represented something else: canapés like goldfish, and caviar in balls, butter bearing faces and frosted glasses sweating with the burden of reflecting such a lot of things to stimulate the appetite to satiety before eating.”16
The Jazz Age was not the Depression and depression doesn’t mark Save Me the Waltz. For all the failure and slippage that we witness, we also enjoy the sights Alabama sees and her ability to give us the tenor of the times.
They were having the bead line at the Ritz that year. Everybody was there. People met people they knew in hotel lobbies smelling of orchids and plush and detective stories, and asked each other where they’d been since the last time. Charlie Chaplin wore a yellow polo coat. People were tired of the proletariat—everyone was famous. All the other people who weren’t well known had been killed in the war; there wasn’t much interest in private lives.17
Those last words give us an important clue to a motivating force behind everything Zelda Fitzgerald wrote. “There wasn’t much interest in private lives.” She isn’t interested in writing about emotions; she is interested in description, and, surprisingly, in generalization and in abstract thought. Her work is studded with aphorisms like the work of an eighteenth-century neoclassicist; like Zelda Fitzgerald, they didn’t much go in for “private lives,” they believed in life that could be watched, like a theatrical scene. In the story “The Girl with Talent,” the narrator says, “To my mind people never change until they actually look different, so I didn’t find her greatly modified.” Zelda Fitzgerald has little interest in the workings of the heart; the body, particularly the eye, and the brain that can put all that the eye sees into some sort of satisfying order: these are the aspects of the human that she finds worthwhile.
There is a link between the aphorism and the flirtatious throw-away line that a certain kind of heady smart girl might excel in, and Zelda Fitzgerald’s work sometimes negotiates the unsure borders between the two. This is one reason she is so unsettling; we’re not sure if she’s being intelligent or clever (merely clever, we would say). In her articles and shorter fiction, her aphoristic talent seems to fall into the latter category. “By the time a man has blundered confusedly into the age of responsibilities he has realized that the qualities he sought in people he found most satisfactorily understandable in himself,”18 she says in “Who Can Fall in Love After Thirty?” “When women cease wanting to please, there usually comes a withering of the spirit,”19 she tells us in her defense of female adornment in “Paint and Powder.” Her earlier stories, which have a kind of unfinished charm and liveliness of description (the young woman in “Our Own Movie Queen” is said to have “a warm moist look about her, as if she had materialized out of hot milk vapor”20) often seem like inferior versions of Scott’s “Bernice Bobs Her Hair.” There is very little character development in them, and the shortness of the form doesn’t allow for the atmospheric buildup that is so effective in Save Me the Waltz. The story that comes nearest realization is “A Couple of Nuts,” in which two carefree American jazz singers come, through their own greed and lack of judgment, to a tragic end.
In places where she is more relaxed—her novel, her journal-like reminiscences and her letters—the aphorisms lose their too-quick brightness and show a genuine intellectual power. Alabama muses in her father’s house: “The inevitable happened to people, and they found themselves prepared. The child forgives its parents when it perceives tha accidents of birth.”21 Receiving David after he has been unfaithful to her, Alabama notes, “Men . . . never seem to become the things they do, like women, but belong to their own philosophic interpretations of their actions.”22 In “Show Mr. and Mrs. F. to Number——,” Zelda Fitzgerald uses the memories of all the hotel rooms she and Scott have stayed in as a kind of index of their past. Most of the rooms have something wrong with them; there is a decidedly melancholy cast to the tone of the memories, culminating, perhaps, in the remark, “It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory.”23
Most touchingly, perhaps, and surprisingly, Zelda’s late letters to Scott reveal her gift for abstract thought. “Nobody has ever been able to experience what they have thoroughly understood—or understand what they have experienced until they have achieved a detachment that renders them incapable of repeating the experience,” she writes to her husband, during one of her many incarcerations.24 Her letters are full of a stoic humility; she is sorry for her life and for the trouble she’s caused her husband, but she’s never abject or groveling. Her accusations of him seem just and measured; they never take on the tone of self-justification and defensive anger that we find in his. She loved and admired him to the end, and she had a generous understanding of his gifts. In her tribute to him, written after his death, she says, “The prophet destined to elucidate and catalogue these pregnant and precarious circumstances was F. Scott Fitzgerald. The times exacted a dramatization compelling enough to save its protagonists from sleep-walking over the proscenium in the general doesn’t-matter suasion of the let-down.”25
In reading her last letters to Scott, I was brought up short when I encountered an analysis she made of the aesthetic theories of Aristotle.
You talk of the function of art. I wonder if anybody has ever got nearer the truth than Aristotle: he said that all emotions and all experience were common property—that the transposition of these into form was individual and art. But, God, it’s so involved by whether you aim at direct or indirect appeals and whether the emotional or the cerebral is the most compelling approach, and whether the shape of the edifice or the purpose for which it is designated is paramount that my conceptions are in a sad state of flux. At any rate, it seems to me the artist’s business is to take a willing mind and guide it to hope or despair contributing not his interpretations but a glimpse of his honestly earned scars of battle and his rewards. I am still adamant against the interpretive school. Nobody but educators can show people how to think—but to open some new facet of the stark emotions or to preserve some old one in the grace of a phrase seem nearer the artistic end. You know how a heart will rise or fall to the lilt of an a-laden troche or the sonorous dell of an o—and where you will use these business secrets certainly depends on the author’s special evaluations. That was what I was trying to accomplish with the book I began: I wanted to say “This is a love story—maybe not your love story—maybe not even mine, but this is what happened to one isolated person in love. There is no judgment.”—I don’t know—abstract emotion is difficult of transcription, and one has to find so many devices to carry a point that the point is too often lost in transit—26
Once again, I had to ask myself, Who is this woman? As if she had no right to Aristotle. She wasn’t a professional. Who was she to talk, with such developed consciousness, about technique? I was comfortable thinking of her as the femme-enfant celebrated by the surrealists: the woman-child who picks up what she knows through her lovely, hypersensitive skin. Too easily I accepted her self-evaluation: “I am that little fish who swims about under a shark and, I believe, lives indelicately on its offal. . . . Life moves over me in a vast black shadow and I swallow whatever it drops with relish. . . .”27 It was all right for her to apprehend, to describe, to aphorize; but to theorize? That was not for her. For whom, then? Her husband? Her father? Some woman who hadn’t been self-dramatizing, reckless, admired for her looks, a careless mother, mad?
A proper reading of the work of Zelda Fitzgerald challenges our easy dualities: the belief that a woman who wants fun and excitement can’t have a mind; the notion that the formal, finished, and pared down is aesthetically superior to the associative and the fragmentary, that an art that believes that it can, through its facility, express “everything” is more desirable than one which leaves gaps for what cannot be expressed. Perhaps now, in the wake of a literary movement that tries to come to terms with the artist’s struggle with what cannot be said—or cannot be said in terms of what we used to be comfortable calling “realism”—a more open reading can occur. One that is willing to step back and forth over borders, to make a place for the “You see what I means,” and the “Can’t you understands.”