Chapter Twelve

If Duncan had walked through town any slower, snails and turtles would have run past him. He looked up in the sky. It was for sure high noon. He was starting to worry about Mallory when he heard the screaming start from the edge of town, followed by the roaring of his friend doing his best scary-dragon act.

He ran towards the noise saying, “No time to spring my trap. Everyone run for cover! He’s in a killing mood this time.”

As Duncan rounded a corner a fireball fell just at his feet. He jumped and glared at Mallory. That was a little too close for comfort. Duncan reached for his sword, had trouble getting it free, finally freed it—and tripped over the length of the blade and nearly fell. Mallory rolled his eyes, shook his head, and then ran at him.

Duncan raised the sword high and ran towards the dragon, hoping he didn’t fall again. Mallory spit another fireball at him—this time not too close—and then he grabbed Duncan’s sword arm with his tail. They fell to the ground and started to wrestle, all for the benefit of the watching town’s people. Duncan pulled out a pomegranate he had hidden in his tunic and crushed it against Mallory’s side. Mallory cried out in mock pain, got up, threw Duncan several feet then ran off.

Duncan jumped to his feet and chased Mallory out of town and into the woods. When they were well out of sight of the town’s people, Mallory started throwing fire high into the air so that it could be seen in the distance, and Duncan grabbed a couple of pots and started banging them together.

“Die, demon beast, die!” Duncan thundered.

Mallory screamed out a painful, wailing cry.

“You’ll beseech this town no more!” Duncan hollered.

“I think you mean besiege this town no more, beseech means….” Mallory started in a little more than a whisper.

“It’s hardly time for a language lesson,” Duncan whispered back as he knelt to the ground and started smearing his clothes with dirt and mud. Mallory hit him with a couple of pomegranates so that the red juice sprayed everywhere. “Ow! You don’t have to throw them so hard.”

Mallory picked up the pots and started banging them together. “Don’t be such a baby. You’re wearing chain mail, for heaven’s sake. Besides, we all must suffer for our art.”

“I don’t see you suffering,” Duncan whispered, rubbing at the spot on his chest where Mallory had hit him.

“Excuse me! I have to be the villain while you get to be the hero. Who was sleeping in a comfy bed while I was sleeping in a cold cave? I get no love, no admiration.”

“All you care about is the money.”

“Point taken.”

“Aren’t you dead yet?” Duncan asked.

“You getting tired already?”

“Yes,” Duncan said.

Mallory nodded and lay down on the ground playing dead. This time it was a tree that would block anyone from seeing where the dragon’s head had been “cut off.” And of course, Duncan wouldn’t let them get too close because it was for their own safety and all.

* * * *

Bilgewater and Sadie hung at the very back of the crowd.

“They aren’t half bad,” Sadie said of Duncan and Mallory’s performance.

“Quite good actually.” Bilgewater watched as the small gathering of those brave enough to follow—even though hanging well back—were suddenly elated at Duncan’s apparent triumph over scaly evil. It didn’t last long.

Bilgewater could see the change in their demeanor as each one seemed to realize they’d just lost a bundle of money. Because, of course, those brave enough to follow the brawling man and dragon were also those who had bet the most money on the outcome.

“Come on. There are a few people we’ll have to pay, and then we best beat a retreat in case some of the rest aren’t such good losers,” he whispered to Sadie.

“Do we have to? I’d like to see how they’re going to pull off the whole dead dragon thing,” Sadie said.

“Come on.” Bilgewater put a hand on her shoulder and propelled her along back towards town and their “office.”

In all of town only three people had bet on Duncan. One, a young woman, was so excited about the new life she was going to buy with her winnings that Bilgewater found that he couldn’t begrudge her huge payout at all.

As soon as they had paid the three people they owed money, they quickly packed their stuff and headed for the stables and their horses.

On the way they noticed a small group had gathered outside the general store, and they stopped to watch.

The mayor was standing on the porch and Duncan stood beside him. Considering how much money the mayor had bet against Duncan it was no wonder he seemed reluctant to let go of the small bag that no doubt held Duncan’s “reward” money.

“Good people gather around! Duncan the dragon slayer has killed the dragon and we must all thank him.”

Nearly the whole town appeared as if from thin air, but the muttering from the crowd didn’t sound at all thankful. Then the young woman who had bet all her money on Duncan started to cheer. She jumped up and down and chanted Duncan’s name until the crowd felt obliged to join in.

“Thank you, thank you, but that’s not necessary. I was simply doing my job and….”

A big, filthy man with ropes hanging around his wrists and ankles broke through the crowd.

“Humphrey!” Duncan exclaimed before Bilgewater had even figured out who it was and obviously before Duncan had time to think about it. Then since he did have a chance to think about it he hollered, “Thank the gods you’re alive, man!”

“Alive! Alive! You and your dragon friend nearly killed me. I’ve rubbed my arms and legs raw against that tree, but I’m free now—and just in time, I see. This man is no hero. He is a common grafter. The dragon isn’t dead.”

“We saw the dragon dead just before its carcass vanished,” one man said and a bunch of others joined in.

Humphrey laughed. “They have played you for fools. Can’t you see that nothing he has told you really makes sense? It’s all a hoax.”

Duncan was a quicker thinker than Bilgewater would have previously thought. A look of real concern entered his eyes as he said, “The poor man. I thought he had been killed, but obviously he has been in the dragon’s lair all this time, tormented, torn, tortured. It’s no wonder he is delirious….”

“Delirious!” Humphrey stomped forward. “You’re delirious to think that even these dunder-headed imbeciles would believe that half-baked story you and that giant lizard came up with.”

Bilgewater smiled and so did Sadie. Humphrey had just made a grand blunder. You didn’t call people you wanted to be your allies dunder-headed imbeciles. “Come on. Let’s get while the getting’s good,” Bilgewater whispered. Sadie nodded in agreement and started to follow him.

“Sir, I must protest. This man is a hero. He no doubt saved your life,” the mayor said.

“Saved my life!” Humphrey laughed. “Saved my life! I’m telling you it’s all a trick, a gag. He and that dragon are friends. Listen to me. He was never in any danger. You were never in any danger. Any fool could see that this man is no dragon slayer.”

Bilgewater shook his head. Humphrey was digging himself a bigger and bigger hole.

“How dare you, sir! Why you went up against the dragon yourself, and it looks like he tied you up to eat you later. What seems clear to everyone is that you, sir, can’t claim the reward money, so you don’t want Duncan to have it, either,” called out the woman who had cashed in on Duncan’s success.

The mayor at that very moment put the bag of coins into Duncan’s hand.

“Oh, come on, people,” Humphrey said. Then his eyes caught and held Bilgewater’s and he smiled. “You two tell them. You know it’s all a trick. Tell them.”

Bilgewater took his time turning around to face the crowd, collecting his thoughts at the same time. “Sir…” He stopped there, finding that for possibly only the third or fourth time in his life he couldn’t think of anything to say. On the verge of panic he was saved by Sadie.

“My partner can not find the words, because what this man did earlier was so despicable,” Sadie said.

“What did he do, miss?” the mayor asked. Bilgewater very much wanted to know himself.

“He came to us and said that he had tricked Duncan into believing he’d been eaten by the dragon because he had no intention of fighting the dragon himself. He had this idea that he would let Duncan kill the dragon, then show up and say he killed the dragon himself. But to make the lie believable, he needed us to back up his story. Then we could all split the money—he said that we’d make much more money if he, and not Duncan, killed the dragon. We were outraged and naturally refused. Clearly, this is a case of sour grapes because he can cheat no one.”

“There is no end to the lies some people will tell to make a coin,” Bilgewater said, getting back in the game. “But I never thought I’d ever in my life see someone who would stoop so low as to go out of their way to besmirch the name of such a fine, upstanding hero.”

“The man is the worst sort of cad!” the woman who had won the money said.

The mayor turned to Duncan. “Didn’t you say he was a tinkerer?”

“Yes, sir, but surely….”

“String him up!” some man yelled.

“We’re not going to string a man up over a lie, but I think a good tar and feathering is in order, people,” the mayor said.

Before you could say ‘grab him,’ half the town had fallen on Humphrey. While they were busy carting him away Bilgewater and Sadie made a break for it.

* * * *

Duncan stepped off the porch and started walking away, feeling forgotten. Then suddenly someone was hanging from his neck and kissing his cheek.

“Thank you, Duncan, thank you so much!”

Duncan smiled. “It was my pleasure, Lucinda.”

“Are you sure…are you very sure you can’t stay?”

“I can’t. I wish I could.”

“Maybe someday you could come back this way. When dragons stop chasing you and I have my own shop.”

“Bet on it,” Duncan said. “Good luck, Lucinda, with everything.”

“Good luck to you, dragon slayer.”

* * * *

Mallory had a good bit of trouble getting to the small clearing where he was supposed to meet Christina and Duncan without being seen. Even with his nifty cloak.

It was now more important than ever that he not be seen by anyone since he was supposed to be dead, and it would have been in bad form to get caught walking around.

Christina was sitting on a rock in the sun playing with a flower, spinning it around and around and counting. Mallory couldn’t even guess at what she was counting. She didn’t look happy. Her lips were turned down in a frown.

When she saw Mallory she smiled big and ran over to give him a big hug. She stuck the flower behind one of his ears as he picked her up.

“Now what were you so sad about?” Mallory asked.

“I’m not going to see you again, am I, Mallory?”

“No, I have to leave,” Mallory said, feeling some sad himself now. “Did you make the bet?”

“The man wouldn’t let me,” Christina said with a shrug. “He said he couldn’t let a little girl make such a big bet.”

“Oh that crooked s.o….”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Mallory said. “Oh well, give me the money back. I tried.”

Someone walked up behind him. Whoever it was must have thought he didn’t hear them, but of course he did. He grabbed them with his tail, the person let out a yelp, and he put the little girl down. He let go of whoever was caught up in his tail and turned quickly around. There was a woman standing there.

“I told you to tell no one, Christina.”

“That ain’t no one, silly.” Christina laughed. “That’s my mommy.” She skipped up beside him and took hold of one of his clawed fingers.

Her mother looked plenty scared, too, but she held the sack of coins out towards Mallory just as Duncan came stomping into the clearing saying, “What? Did you just tell the whole town?”

“It’s just my mommy,” Christina said, looking up at Duncan.

“I didn’t know where she was getting the money,” the woman started with a bit of a stutter. “We needed it so badly, but I didn’t want her stealing. And the story she told…. Well it was ridiculous, but I could tell she wasn’t lying and I…I just wanted to thank you. That little bit of money may not seem like much to you, but it means we’ll eat for the next week.”

Mallory bowed his head humbly. “It was my pleasure. Well, Christina, I’ll miss you but we have to be going….”

“Of course I don’t know what we’ll do after that,” the mother continued. “My husband’s an idiot really. Not a bad man, just a lazy dunderhead and a bit of a dreamer. Of course I guess we’ll find a way. We always do.”

“I’m sure you will….”

“Besides Christina we have twin babies, so no way that I can work. My mother-in-law lives with us, but she lost an eye playing darts at the pub last year and she’s always running into something these days. Then there is my sister-in-law. Did I tell you she has five kids?”

“No, we really must be….”

“She does—and only one leg. My brother, well he has her other leg, but it doesn’t work so good. My sister and her baby live with us, too, and the baby… Well I think it’s coming down with something and my sister keeps losing her glass eye…those are expensive you know… I wish my mother-in-law would give up darts. Every time it rains my sister’s baby get’s a cold. It might be allergies, but frankly I think it’s because her crib is under a drip. There’s just no place else to put it….”