CHAPTER FOUR

Brightest (Octavia’s Beginning)

“I can’t believe you got me out here fishing,” Octavia said to Shawn, her boyfriend, as she jabbed him in the side with one arm and struggled to hold her pole with the other.

“You ain’t even doin’ it right. You the one who wanted to come out here, giving me a hard time about hanging out with your dad all the time, and now you don’t wanna fish!” he teased her back.

“I know, I just wanted to spend some fun time with you,” she said as the sun beamed down brightly on her. “I can’t believe we’re about to graduate! This is crazy!”

“Yeah, and I don’t wanna think about nothing right now but you.”

“But I’m a muddy, stinky mess,” she said as he leaned her backwards.

“And sexy,” he said as he crawled on top of her.

Although they were in a compromising position, they kept things on the up and up. They teased and bit each other’s ears. They were slobbering as they gave a few pecks on the lips. All clothes stayed on, and no body parts were shared.

Looking up at the blazing sun, Octavia reflected. “I’ve got to do something with my life so that I can be successful one day. I mean, my dad has had to do a lot on his own, and it’s not like we live in the best part of town. My car looks like it’s gonna fall apart. My poor clothes need updating. We can’t afford that. I hate that I’m sitting here complaining. It could be worse. I think about Olive all the time, and you, and I don’t know. Am I weirding you out talking about this?”

“No. I don’t need you to take pity on me, and I’m sure Olive doesn’t want you to take pity on her either. Our life is our life. We’re comfortable with who we are, but you got a point. We want more for ourselves, and that’s probably why I feel like a failure.”

“What are you talking about? We’re about to graduate. We’re in the prime of our lives.”

“Yeah, but everybody’s talking about what’s next—college, a job, the military. I don’t wanna go into the military like Charles, and I’m not ready for college either. It’s not like I wanna sit on my butt and do nothing, but I don’t want a minimum-wage job. I don’t know. Honestly, if I had another year of high school, I’d be alright with it. Freshmen, sophomores, and juniors just don’t even know how good they got it. This facing the real world thing is no joke.” And on that comment, he sat up and threw his line back into the water.

She looked over at him and hated that she couldn’t think of what to say to encourage him about what was next. She knew she had to give some hard thought to it. She’d been so consumed with her own life that she hadn’t spent much time reflecting on what was next for Shawn. One thing she knew was that he had a bright future. He needed to believe that. But at least he was being real about what was on his mind.

Octavia wasn’t being so forthcoming. She’d just left the fun slumber party gone south with the swoop list girls. Octavia shut down after they read the letter from Leah. The letter had challenged the girls to find out who put them on the swoop list and deal with that person. How was Octavia going to tell her girls that she put herself on the list? Octavia had already told Shawn and the school counselor, Ms. Davis. But telling her friends was much more difficult. Once they knew the truth, how could they ever care about her again? How could she face graduation isolated from them? In Octavia’s mind, that was the only outcome she could see if she told them everything.

“Gosh, I must not be the only one with something on my mind. It’s been fifteen minutes, and you’ve been quiet. What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to bring you out here to depress you,” Shawn uttered in a caring way.

“There are no answers to my problems. But I have been thinking about yours.”

“What do you mean?”

“The technical school.”

“What am I good at?”

“I don’t know, but there’re lots of trades—automotive, plumbing, culinary.”

“Wait, don’t sleep. I do love to cook,” Shawn joked.

“Okay. Well, maybe we should pursue it.”

“They have a school for that? Like, one you don’t have to go to college for?” Shawn asked hopefully.

“From what I’ve seen, some colleges do have a culinary degree. But there are technical schools that you can go to just learn how to cook, and it’s not a four-year school. You’d come out and be some kind of chef.”

“I need to look into that. ’Cause sometimes when I’m sitting at home with Ms. B and she flips to the cooking channels, I stay and watch with her. I get mesmerized and try to make the dishes. Before I got shot, I cooked for the house many days. I pride myself on how I chop my food. I put in other ingredients so it tastes really good. I don’t know, cooking school ... you might be on to something,” Shawn said with hope rising.

“Look at you! Okay, okay. See, you’re smiling.”

“Now let me help you out. What’s up? You still worried about telling your friends that you put yourself on the swoop list? Or you did tell them last night, and they’re mad at you? Talk to me. Be real.”

“You think you know me well,” Octavia said, hating to broach the subject. “I haven’t told them, but I really want to. They’re my best friends. I mean, after you of course.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,” Shawn played with her and said. “After me of course.”

“You’re silly, Shawn.” She lifted her hand from the rod to hit him, but when she pulled up she felt a little tugging.

“You caught something!” he said, helping her reel in the line.

It was the cutest little four-inch fish. They both laughed. Octavia was proud, though. It was her first time fishing, and she caught a fish. She was ecstatic.

Octavia smiled. “Can’t wait to tell Daddy I caught something.”

“That’s right. You put your all into it, and something came back to you. So trust that with your friends. Share from the heart. Put it all out there. You’ll be satisfied with the results.”

Throwing the little minnow back, she said, “Look at you, making me feel like my future with them is the brightest.”