CHAPTER ELEVEN

Purest (Sanaa’s Ending)

Ms. Davis was holding the last swoop list counseling session of the year for the girls. Reluctantly, Sanaa attended. There was no love between all of them right now. They didn’t all hate each other, but Sanaa just felt their lovey-dovey bond had always been too good to be true anyway. They’d all be graduating soon and going in their own directions to start their lives, so why try to fix things now? To Sanaa, this plan seemed like the best way not to get her feelings hurt. So she let everyone else do some of the talking in the session with Ms. Davis.

“Do you all know where Octavia is?” Ms. Davis asked.

“We’re not her keeper,” Willow uttered under her breath.

“So everything I said went in one ear and out the other?” Pia questioned. “You need to listen.”

“I know you ain’t tryna tell me what to do,” Willow said.

Pia snapped back, “Somebody needs to tell you because your big head only thinks you’re right.”

“Okay, girls, settle down,” Ms. Davis said. “What has gotten into you ladies? You were inseparable at the prom. Now you’re at each other’s throats.”

“What does it matter anyway? We’re all about to graduate! Who cares if we’re not friends anymore?” Sanaa finally yelled out, letting them know how she truly felt.

“There it is. Our little friendship was fake all along,” Willow said. “I knew it. Nobody really cares for anybody else anymore.”

“I care,” Olive said.

“And I care too,” Pia uttered.

“And you know you care too,” Ms. Davis said to Willow. “Sanaa, so do you. I don’t need to know all the details of the rift going on between you guys, but I will say forgiveness is in order when it comes to having friendships. Being in any relationship, you got to have forgiveness. If you don’t let things go, and you think you can survive on your own, you’ll do things and say things that you don’t mean and that you can’t take back. You need to have a support group around you. You need to treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Sanaa, you’re right. You guys will be going in different directions, but now is the training ground. You begin to learn life lessons in high school. You must decide which road you want to set yourself up for. The road that will be one of happiness, caring, forgiveness, and love, or one that is bitter, dark, and depressing.”

“Why do you care and give so much to us?” Sanaa asked Ms. Davis.

Olive added, “Yeah, it’s deeper than your job. I know it. I feel it.”

“So just accept it,” Ms. Davis said. “And don’t make me feel like my time was in vain. I’m sure Octavia is hurting, as are you guys. If you harbor bitterness, you can’t be a true leader; you can’t be really happy when you have hate within your heart. Now go on to class, unless you need to talk to me one on one.”

Sanaa was the first to get up. She knew there was a lot she wanted to get right with life. She did want to choose the path that led to happiness, but how could she fix everything that was wrong? Out in the hallway, Sanaa saw Toni walking her way, but what could she say to a girl she’d betrayed? A girl she tried to fix things with. A girl she knew hated her so much that she messed up her car. Sanaa thought their relationship was absolutely irreconcilable. But Toni was smiling.

“Urgh, I can’t believe this girl,” Sanaa said to herself in a low voice. “She’s walking the halls with a big old smile on her face. She wants to rub it in that she tore up my property and I let her get away with it. Oh my gosh, she’s boasting.”

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Toni surprised Sanaa by saying as they passed each other.

“I guess,” Sanaa responded, even though she was very skeptical.

“I wanted to give you this twenty dollars.” Toni handed the cash over to Sanaa.

“For what?”

“I had no right damaging your property. And I don’t know how to ask you to forgive me without me paying for it.”

“You are paying for the damage?”

Toni nodded. “Yeah, that should cover the cost of getting your car washed. But let me know if it costs more. I was stupid. I was angry.”

“No, you were justified. You sent me to talk to Miles a long time ago, and I never told you I liked him too.”

“I knew he liked you, and I knew you liked him too. Yet I sent you to do the impossible. I didn’t know you’d keep it from me, so when I found out, I was angry. Now I need your forgiveness for putting you on the swoop list.”

Sanaa raised her eyebrows. “So you did turn my name in?”

“I’m sure you figured it out already.”

“I had a big hunch, but for a while I thought Miles did it.”

“No, he’s always cared for you and only you. I tried to get with him many times. I probably liked him because I knew you did. I don’t know. I’ve been jealous of you for so long.”

“I been jealous of you too,” Sanaa admitted. “You can eat anything and not gain a pound.”

“What kind of friendship did we really have?” Toni asked.

“Not a very good one.”

“But I did love you,” Toni sincerely shared. “I wanted to be like you, even though it was warped and messed up how I acted it all out. There’s a lot of admiration I still feel in my heart for you, Sanaa.”

“Ditto, girl. But you know it’s gonna be hard to repair our friendship.”

“I’ve missed being your friend, though. And, I knew I needed to be honest with you if I ever wanted a chance to be your friend again. We’re about to go to college. So I’m not sure we’ll able to restart our friendship, but—” Toni dropped her head in dejection.

Sanaa lifted her chin and said, “Yes, we can always start again.”

“You got your swoop list girls now. You don’t need me.”

“What you’re saying isn’t true. Like I said, keeping it real, rebuilding the trust won’t be easy for either of us, but I want us to try.”

They hugged really tight. In the embrace, Sanaa felt the love and genuineness they shared. They agreed to talk more later on. When Sanaa walked on to class, she felt so excited that she and Toni had a big breakthrough with a conversation that was the purest.