CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Sincerest (Octavia’s Ending)

Coming out of the baccalaureate service, Octavia was hand in hand with Shawn. She sat with him during the program, but she kept looking over at her girls, wishing she was with them. It was so ironic because she was now back in the same position she was at the beginning of the school year. No crew wanted her to be around. While she was overjoyed things with Shawn were going right, seeing Sanaa, Willow, Olive, and Pia pose for pictures without her broke her heart.

Seeing her down, Shawn said, “You know, I can talk to Olive if you want me to. I know she cares about you. You asked me to leave it alone, so I haven’t gotten on her, but this ain’t even cool.”

“No, I don’t wanna be around anybody who doesn’t want me around them. Please don’t talk to Olive and push the issue. If anything, I learned I gotta be happy with me. I need to be okay standing by myself.”

“Oh, so if I walked away, you wouldn’t be mad?” Shawn teased.

“Come on, Shawn, I’m serious. I wanted to be a part of a group so bad that I lied and turned myself into some freak girl just to get attention.”

“Yeah, but it’s more than that for you. I know you care about those girls.”

She really appreciated Shawn because he was telling the truth. Her heart was big for her swoop list sisters. She kept up with their scoop online. She was happy that Sanaa had gotten things cleared up with Toni. She was overjoyed that Hillary had come clean to Willow and that Willow was there for her in her darkest hour. She was glad that Tiger had let Olive go completely, and she was deeply concerned about Pia, hoping that she would give Stephen a chance to explain why he betrayed her so. Because Octavia cared so much, it tore her up on the inside that the girls who meant so much to her didn’t reciprocate her feelings. However, she knew she had no one else to blame but herself. She should’ve told them the truth long ago. Keeping it cost her so much.

“You think you could take a picture with us?” she heard a familiar voice say from behind.

Octavia dared not turn around. She looked at Shawn, and he was smiling. When she turned around, she couldn’t believe it. All four of the swoop list girls were standing right there.

“Okay, what? You can’t forgive us for being jerks?” Willow uttered as Octavia just rushed to her and gave her the biggest hug. “Alright, alright. Don’t mess up the dress.”

“Are you kidding? You guys want to take a picture with me? You’re coming over here to talk to me? You wanna apologize to me? I owe you guys apologies!” Octavia explained.

“No, we owe you one,” Sanaa said. “It took Pia to talk some sense into us. Who are we to judge? I hate that you had to feel so low to put yourself on this crazy list, but you weren’t trying to hurt us in the process.”

“Yep, it’s not like you put any of us on it,” Olive said.

“Besides, anybody that desperate for swoop friends,” Willow joked, “deserves to keep misfits around.”

“You’re not misfits,” Octavia said. “We’re just a real bunch.”

The girls all stared at Willow. Octavia didn’t know what they wanted her to say. Willow sucked her lips.

“Okay, I also need to apologize for calling you a white heffa,” Willow blurted out.

“No biggie, brown bully ... I mean beauty,” Octavia coughed and joked.

The girls giggled and made up. They all posed and took selfies. Octavia was delighted she had learned not to hide from her mistakes, but to learn from them. She understood that she needed to be strong, with or without friends. And that her true friends would came back to her because they loved her. That was a lesson she was never going to forget.

Pia asked Octavia if she’d go with her to the restroom.

Octavia was happy to comply. As they walked, she put her arm around Pia and said, “Thank you. Thank you for not letting them hate me.”

Pia smiled and said, “Thank you for giving us another chance.”

“You know, you probably need to do the same thing with Stephen. He’s following us.”

Pia quickly turned around and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that Octavia was right. Pia huffed. Octavia wanted to help her girl make things right.

“You should at least hear him out!”

Pia boldly demanded, “Okay, but you’re not going anywhere.”

“What he has to say is private.”

“You are not going anywhere!”

Stephen walked over to them. Octavia tried to slip away, but Pia wouldn’t let her. Octavia stopped moving and stood by her girl.

“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say to the both of us.”

Stephen said, “I wanted to tell you that I’m not ashamed I put you on the list.”

“Excuse me?” Octavia said, not wanting to get in it but unable to help herself.

“Okay, now can we move on?” Pia said. “I knew he wasn’t ashamed of what he did.”

“If y’all would just listen!” Stephen called out.

“Okay, we’re listening. Talk.” Pia said.

“The guys, the night they raped you, they were bragging that they wanted to do it again. And they wanted to do it again to you because you were pure.”

“But they’d just raped me. I wasn’t pure anymore,” Pia rationalized.

“To them you were still pure. They were the only guys to be with you. So when I saw a notice about the swoop list, I figured I’d put your name out there. When they saw you on it, they mostly backed away. I’m not saying I deserve a medal for what I did, but I was trying to protect you from them. Love me or hate me, my crazy tactic worked.”

“His motives may be a little suspect,” Octavia leaned over to Pia and said. “But forgive him, girl, ’cause your hot señor’s intentions were the sincerest.”