Chapter Twelve

The lights flickered as Danielle stepped quietly into the corridor and eased her door closed. She froze, lifting her gaze to the fixtures, wondering if the lights were about to go out. When they didn’t flicker again, she let out the breath she’d been holding and headed down the corridor to the room she knew Sabin had taken.

Civilization wasn’t even gone yet and already they were missing it.

In some ways, it was hard to accept that it really was going to vanish, that everything they’d always known and taken for granted was just going to fall apart or stop and there wouldn’t be any store to go to buy another, no repair people to call out.

In others, it wasn’t nearly as hard to believe. The evidence, after all, was pretty difficult to ignore.

They’d had to head north when they’d decided on their plan to work with the rebels. Fortunately, according the latest data from the Mertosin, the radioactive cloud had been swept further east and north from their position by a weather front.

No one really wanted to take the grundts, but she also hadn’t been able to bring herself to agree with Nick and Bud that they should just slit their throats. She imagined the time would come when she would as readily shout for their blood, or kill one herself, but she hadn’t quite reached that stage yet. She was still squeamish. She still felt like it was uncivilized and she couldn’t overcome her reluctance to ignore the laws of the land, even though there were no laws, no law makers, no law enforcers.

Ci and Sha had settled the matter, surprisingly.

“They are garbage. I would not be against dragging them behind the vehicle except that that would make them truly useless to us. I also do not care to ride inside with them and smell their stench, beyond the fact that the vehicles are too crowded now. We should tie them to the top with the baggage,” Ci said.

Even Sabin and On had been stunned by that suggestion.

Bud had recovered first, grinning from ear to ear. “A woman after my own heart!” he exclaimed cheerfully. “I’m sure we can arrange things. The problem will be getting their fat asses up here.”

“That is not a problem,” Sha said. Grabbing Tande, she lifted the bound female up with no sign of effort, despite the fact that Tande immediately began to wiggle and fight.

Bud stared at her with a glazed look for several moments and finally scrambled on top of the SUV and secured Tande to the roof of the car.

Danielle was pretty horrified about it … at first, but there was no arguing the fact that it was a great deal more comfortable for her and Su-lynn and, truthfully, they were bound and they were going to stay that way. It wasn’t as if there was anywhere that would have been comfortable for any of them. The explosion had shattered several of the windows and the grundts weren’t anymore at the mercy of the elements on top of the car than they would’ve been inside—not much, anyway.

In any case, she’d had other things on her mind since the discussion—her sons. As heartbroken as she’d been that she hadn’t found them right off, the enclave of survivors they’d found had still buoyed her hopes of finding them. There were others, as Nick had pointed out. She’d been struggling ever since to hold on that, to hold on to an image of them being cared for in one of the refugee camps and safe, even if they weren’t with her, just waiting for her to find them.

Sabin’s grim outline of what they could expect to happen next—what was already happening—had again shattered her illusions of finding them safe. She didn’t believe they would be harmed. Sabin had said that the troops would only protect themselves, not attack. She wanted assurances from the one man in her life she trusted to be honest with her.

If he couldn’t assure her … she didn’t know what she’d do, but she knew she couldn’t leave the area if they were in imminent danger from the aliens landing everywhere. She would have to go back even if she had to go back alone.

When she reached Sabin’s door, she tapped lightly on the panel, hoping she wouldn’t alert any of the others. Right or wrong, after Nick’s nasty insinuations, she felt that the others were judging her just as he was. She shouldn’t have cared, she didn’t suppose. It wasn’t any of their business what she did, and yet, it was the undercurrents of betrayal that bothered her. If things went badly, even though everyone had agreed to do this, if it transpired that they were wrong and the mahns were in league with the grundts, then she would be the one they despised. She would be the traitor to her own kind.

She would feel like a traitor and hate herself so there was no doubt in her mind that they would, too.

She didn’t believe it was a trick or that Sabin and On meant them any harm.

But she wasn’t absolutely, beyond any doubt, certain and the thread of doubt was why she was sneaking to Sabin’s room instead of simply asking him in front of the others.

Because she was prepared to beg if necessary and promise anything they wanted if he’d just make sure her boys were alright.

Thankfully, Sabin answered the door almost at once. He stared at her in surprise for a moment, glanced up and down the hall, and then stepped back to allow her to enter.

She turned to him anxiously even before he shut the door. “I have to know ... you said the ground forces wouldn’t attack unless they attacked—the survivors. I understand that, but … they wouldn’t hurt the children, right?”

Something flickered in his eyes. She wasn’t certain what it was, but it didn’t reassure her. “Danny …”

She grabbed the front of his tunic. “No, wait! I know there is a possibility that they could get hurt if there’s a battle. I understand that. I’m just asking … I mean, the children won’t be a threat to them, so they wouldn’t do anything to them, would they?”

He stared down at her face. “They would not. Even the grundts would not.” He shrugged. “The planet itself has value, riches they will want to plunder, but workers have value, too.”

As horrifying as it was to think of them being used as slave labor, it was still far better than the alternative, and it wouldn’t come to that if they were successful. She felt as if a weight had fallen off of her, tearfully grateful that he had dispelled her worst fears. “You wouldn’t say that just to make me feel better?”

He lifted a hand to smooth her hair and then, abruptly, gathered her in his arms against his length. “I think that I would say or do whatever you wanted me to,” he murmured. “But this is the truth. They will not try to harm the children. Not because they have tender hearts but because they have a use for them, but their motives are of no consequence so long as the end results are the same.”

Releasing a deep sigh, Danielle slipped her arms around him to hug herself more tightly to him. Tears of relief stung her eyes and nose, but she sniffed them away.

On was right. He was a fast learner, she thought contentedly. He’d learned the value of a hug for comfort.

“Do you have an image of them?”

Danielle pulled away to look up at him, her heart abruptly hammering with hopefulness. “Yes?” she said breathlessly.

He looked torn, but he came to a decision abruptly. “Bring it to me. It may be dangerous to attempt it, but I will try to get it to our people so that they can search for them for you.”

Danielle was so thrilled she couldn’t breathe for a moment. Abruptly, she leapt at him, catching his face between her palms and standing on her tiptoes to kiss him all over his face. “You wonderful, wonderful man! I lov …”

He touched his finger to her lips, his expression abruptly stern and unyielding. “Do not! As much as it pleases me to see your joy, I will deeply regret that I even offered if this only leads to more heartache for you. You must … promise me that you will not expect too much, because I cannot promise you that they will be found. You know this, Danny.”

Danielle swallowed with an effort when she realized what he was saying. She nodded, sucking on her lower lip while she struggled to speak. “I know, but you’ll try?”

“I will succeed in getting the image to those I trust. They will try, but that it is all they can do—try.”

She nodded, struggling now between hope and despair. “I’ll go get it.”

He shook his head when she pulled away. “Tomorrow. It cannot be done before then and … you should not come here.”

“Why not?”

His expression was stern. “You know why not, Danny … and I know why you should not.”

Danielle was suddenly ashamed that she’d sneaked to his room like a thief, shamed that she’d allowed the prejudice of the others to influence her. “I don’t care if they know,” she said abruptly.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t believe her.

“I care.”

She swallowed with an effort. “Don’t push me away.”

He closed his eyes. “I do not think I can.” When he opened his eyes to look at her again there was a deep sadness in his eyes. “I am asking you to protect yourself because it is what I want for you. There are many things that I could protect you from, but I cannot protect you from their thoughts … or their words.”

“They trust you … just as I do.”

He smiled faintly. “You know that is not true. They do not trust me. They do not accept me. It is never far from their mind that I am as alien as the others, regardless of the way I look. I have seen the ugly side of your people many times—and the beauty only once.” He touched her face lightly with his long fingers. “I do not want to bring harm to this one beautiful thing. Stay with your own kind. They will forgive the one trespass if you allow it to fade from their mind. They will not forgive you for choosing another over your own kind.”

Hurt cut so deeply through her that she could barely catch her breath and Danielle knew abruptly that he mattered far too much to give him up so easily. “Will it fade from your mind?”

He swallowed audibly. “No.”

“You’ll leave when this is over?”

“I must. I am a leader among my people … and there are so few of them left. Each loss is another blow that takes them closer to extinction.”

She understood—in a way, and yet, as long as he lived, where ever he lived, he was still a part of his own people and they hadn’t really lost him. She didn’t try to argue with him, however. She didn’t want to argue. Lifting a hand, she stroked it almost absently along his chest, smoothing the fabric over the muscles, enjoying the feel of them as they rippled against her palm in reaction and the acceleration of his heart beat. “We don’t have much time, then, do we? Do you really want to waste it?”

“You are a stubborn woman, Danny. Too stubborn for your own good,” he said gruffly. “Does it mean nothing to you that I would never forgive myself if I brought harm to you, only for desires I have no right even to feel?”

She leaned closer and rubbed her cheek against his chest. “It means a lot to me. Why do think you don’t have the right to feel alive? Isn’t it enough to be willing to risk your life for them? Don’t you deserve something for yourself?”

“I cannot think when you do that,” he said a little hoarsely. “But I am certain that was not logical.”

Danielle smiled faintly. “Which proves you can’t think straight. It was perfectly logical.”

She tipped her head up so that she could nibble at his throat.

“Danny!”

“Mmm?”

“You will regret this.”

“I don’t think so. I’m convinced I’d regret it if I didn’t.”

“I will regret it,” Sabin said hoarsely.

That gave her pause. She lifted her head to look at him. “Will you?”

“Yes … no,” he muttered almost angrily, gripping a fistful of hair to bring her mouth to his and covering it with the desperation of a man tormented past bearing.

Sabin was a hard man to convince, Danielle thought whimsically, but the end results were worth the battle. He fought his urges to the bitter end, and, when the wall collapsed, the ride was rough, but she’d never experienced anything more wildly exciting.

A veritable wall of heat hit her the instant his mouth clamped hungrily over hers. Desire shot through her like flash fire, scorching every nerve ending and bringing them to vibrant life. The sheer desperation in his touch snatched her into an inferno of intoxicating, knee-weakening need, sending her body spiraling upwards from want toward culmination at a heady rate of speed. The feel of his mouth on hers, the caress of his tongue along hers, was only surpassed in sheer glory by the taste of him that flooded her, the scent of him that she breathed. This, she thought dreamily, was worth fighting for. He was worth fighting for.

She rubbed against him, but there were far too many clothes between them to pacify her need to touch him, to feel his skin coasting against hers. The pressure only teased, made her ache more. She became more purposeful in her caresses, searching for a way beneath the clothing he wore. The design defeated her, or her own limited mental capacity of the moment. She plucked at it instead to direct his mind to her needs.

The message didn’t seem to penetrate but the fabric parted with an odd grating noise. She felt the faint tremors running through him when she found skin at last and soaked up the warmth and texture of it with her palm and fingertips. The tremors grew harder, became hard shaking. His heart rate became faster, the beat harder.

He broke from her lips, gasping hoarsely and stared down at her with a sort of baffled desperation. Lifting her abruptly, he carried her to his bed and climbed awkwardly onto the surface with her, trying to keep from fully breaking contact. When he discovered that wasn’t possible, he leaned away and tore the offending garment from his shoulders and arms. Leaving it hanging at his waist, he moved shaking hands over her, plucking at the clothing she wore and finally sat back on his heels, glaring down at her.

“I cannot fathom how you got in to this or how I am to get you out,” he said almost petulantly.

The comment sparked a flicker of amusement despite her own frustration.

She sat up and dragged the zipper of her one piece suit to the bottom, rolling her shoulders to disentangle them and reached behind her back to unfasten her bra, dropping it beside her when it fell free. Sabin had, somehow, come to rest straddling her when they’d gotten into the bed, and she discovered she could only peel the suit to her hips.

She fell back against the pillows, leaving the rest in his hands.

Drawn by the bounce of her breasts, his gaze fastened on them and his entire attention seemed to instantly focus there. He lightly traced one of the blue lines that led to the tip, studying the nipple with apparent fascination as it came erect. Settling lower, he traced the other veins he could see beneath the skin. “Your skin is translucent here.”

Danielle couldn’t decide whether he found that fact appealing or repulsive. She swallowed with difficulty. “It’s ugly?”

He flicked a look at her face. “There is no part of you that does not appeal to my senses. It is … fascinating.”

He seemed more fascinated by the reaction of her nipples to his touch. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations wafting through her from his touch, although it was almost more torture than pleasure. “Kiss me there,” she whispered in demand when she couldn’t stand the teasing anymore.

He leaned closer at once, covering one tip with his mouth and sucking on it experimentally. She clasped her arms around his head. “More.”

She couldn’t have asked for more enthusiasm. His uncertainty vanished. He kissed first one and then the other with the same verve that he kissed her lips, pulling and suckling on them until she thought she’d lose her mind. She sank deeper and deeper into a heated, hazy cloud of fevered need until she couldn’t be still, until she felt her body reach a surfeit of pleasure and explode in a minor eruption that startled her. Disappointment warred with pleasure.

She’d never come just from having her breasts suckled.

It had been woefully tame, though, and the disappointment from that and the certainty that she was done stole from the enjoyment of it.

She dismissed it when he lifted his head to look at her. He shifted upward then, framing her head with his elbows and seeking her lips. To her pleased surprise, she felt herself soaring upward toward the pinnacle again as if she hadn’t already come. The tension gathered in her belly again, stronger than before.

Eager now to feel him inside of her, she began shoving at his clothing. He flinched when she found his erection and closed her fingers around the heated length of him, stroking him. His cock jerked in her hand threateningly.

He broke the kiss, panting hoarsely. Grasping his clothes, he shoved at them for a moment and finally rolled off of her when he discovered he couldn’t rid himself of them while on his knees. He’d already straddled her again when he realized the bottom half of her own suit was still around her hips. Grabbing them and the panties she wore beneath, he jerked them downward past her knees and fell over her, trying to skewer her with his cock while her legs were still bound together at the ankles.

Nearly as desperate as he was by that time, she managed to free one ankle and spread her thighs wide enough to accommodate his hips. A gasp of sheer delight escaped at her as he dragged his cock along her cleft, found the mouth of her sex, and pushed inside of her.

It was an uphill battle from there. She was so excited that, despite the moisture her body had produced, the muscles along her channel were spasming, locked against his incursion. She heard him grinding his teeth together as he pushed into her and was expelled over and over, gaining just enough ground each time to frustrate both of them, until her natural lubrication finally overcame the resistance of her flesh and he sank fully inside of her.

He stilled, panting for breath. As he gathered himself and lifted away from her for leverage, Danielle caught a glimpse of On standing not three feet from them, watching. It startled her, sent a shockwave through her that caught Sabin’s attention. He tensed, his head whipping in that direction, but, contrary to what she’d expected, the tension left him the moment he recognized his brother.

He met her gaze for a suspended moment in time and then lowered his mouth to hers.

For a handful of heartbeats, she resisted the lure and then crumbled beneath his assault to her senses as he began to pump inside of her, kissing her at the same time. The stroke of his tongue in one mouth and his cock in the other left no room for awareness of anything else. She curled her arms around him, lifting her hips to meet each thrust as fire blazed in her belly and each stroke brought her closer to culmination.

And still she felt On’s heated gaze like a caress when Sabin broke the kiss at last and began driving into her with the hard, quick desperation of his own rising needs. With a strenuous effort, she managed to lift her eyelids a fraction and peered toward On. She hadn’t imagined it. On’s face was taut, his eyes blazing, his entire demeanor eloquent of the need thundering through him.

She dragged her gaze from him and discovered the same look on Sabin’s face and came, shatteringly. Sabin began to shake all over, hard quakes, as if he felt her convulsions of bliss himself. Then, abruptly, he shuddered to a halt, gasping hoarsely, jerking all over each time his cock spasmed with his own climax.

His locked arms shook harder with weakness when his body had finally ceased to spasm in release. He allowed his head to drop forward, panting for breath. His long black hair fell around them like a curtain.

Danielle studied him, pleased with the absence of tension that told her he’d thoroughly expended himself and yet doubtful, uncertain about what to make of On’s appearance and Sabin’s complete lack of animosity about it.

In point of fact, it was more as if he welcomed his brother watching.

Knowing he was watching, wanted her, had made her come, shooting her toward climax with breathtaking speed.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to accept that, but she couldn’t convince herself that it had interfered with her pleasure in any way.

Dragging in a last, deep, shuddering breath, Sabin seemed to gather himself and launched himself toward the empty space on the bed beside her, landing heavily, bonelessly, as if the action had taken the last of his strength and he had none left to break his fall.

She twisted her head to look at him and discovered he was staring at the ceiling.

“I feel as if there is hardly enough strength left in my body to pump my heart and lungs,” he murmured thickly.

Danielle felt her lips curl in spite of the doubts still flickering through her mind. “What else do you feel?”

He thought it over. “Peace,” he said finally. “A tremendous urge to sleep.”

She chuckled.

Pulling in a sustaining breath, Sabin rolled toward her, folding one arm to prop his head on and placing his other hand on her belly, his fingers splayed as if he was comparing the measurements, or maybe the contrast between the darker skin of his hand and the pale white of her belly? “What brought you?” he asked, flicking a glance at On.

Danielle turned to look at On herself. He was frowning, she saw.

“I do not recall,” he muttered after a moment. Dark color rose in his face the moment he said it.

The uneasy suspicion that it had somehow been arranged between them vanished and amusement took its place.

“It could not have been anything of consequence, then.”

On blinked, but he couldn’t seem to drag his gaze from her body. His frown deepened. “It seemed so at the time,” he said absently, his voice strained.

“Yet, you have now forgotten?”

On dragged his gaze from the damp hair at the apex of her thighs and stared at Sabin a little blankly. “I have misplaced it,” he qualified. “I am certain it will come to me again.”

Danielle glanced at Sabin questioningly. He seemed almost to be teasing On. Surprise flickered through her when she saw the gleam of amusement in his eyes and realized he was. The only thing she wasn’t certain of was whether it was malicious in nature or not. She didn’t think so, but she never would’ve expected him to tease On at all. They seemed almost inseparable in some ways. In others—well, they weren’t demonstrative by any stretch of the imagination. If there was affection, it was hard to detect.

“He and I are one,” he said, almost as if in answer to the question in her eyes.

It seemed an odd statement and only gave rise to more questions.

“He wants you. He wants to feel the things that I felt.”

Danielle felt heat rise in her cheeks. She didn’t actually need Sabin to tell her that. She frowned. “I don’t understand what you’re suggesting.”

“You do. You just do not understand what I am saying.”

Feeling a flicker of both anger and dawning hurt, Danielle pushed herself upward on her elbows. “You want me to have sex with him?”

“You misunderstand,” he said tiredly.

“I misunderstand,” On said tightly.

Sabin lay back, staring at the ceiling. “When you watched me with Danielle, did you feel as if you were watching yourself?”

On flicked a lingering gaze over Danielle. “Yes,” he said a little hoarsely.

Danielle felt her belly tighten, abruptly realizing what he was saying, what he’d meant all the time. “You want to watch?”

“Not if it is not acceptable to you. Not if it will make you believe that I do not care for you. I did not understand why Nick felt the need to batter me. I am still not certain that I understand that completely. You shared yourself with him before and I do not feel that what you shared with me was diminished in any way. Was it?”

Danielle swallowed, more uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation. She hadn’t tried to make it a secret that she’d been with Nick before, but she hadn’t tried to advertise it either. “No!”

“It would be diminished in some way if you gave to On what you gave to me?”

Danielle stared at him. “You wouldn’t feel like it was?”

“I do not know. I have always thought of On and I and … I have always thought of us as one. I do not think so, but then I have never experienced anything like this. All of it is new to me.”

Danielle glanced at On, feeling warmth stir in her at the suggestion. She still wasn’t sure she liked the idea of experimenting … and yet it was tempting.

More than that. She wasn’t immune to the desire in On’s eyes.

But would Sabin discover that it did matter? Would it destroy something fragile and precious?

Or was it not there at all? Did it only exist in her?

She lifted her gaze to On, studying his face, feeling the sheer force of his need like a physical assault. Questions and doubts still churned in her mind, but she reached for him, grasping his hand.

He swallowed audibly. Doubt flickered in his own eyes. He resisted her tug at his hand until she released it. Almost trance-like, the moment she let go of his hand, he began pulling at his clothes in almost frantic haste to shed them.

A flicker of alarm went through Danielle, but heat flashed through her at his eagerness, as well.

Sabin’s hand tightened on her. He shifted over, carrying her with him. She thought at first that it was a gesture of possessiveness until she realized he’d moved over to give On room to join them.

The thought didn’t seem to enter On’s mind. She wasn’t certain he even noticed. He settled on the bed facing her, a look in his eyes almost of wonder as he skimmed his gaze over her. She didn’t know if he was uncertain of where to start or worried that she would slap him if he touched her, but he merely stared at her so long that impatience got the better of her.

She shifted closer, until her bare body was pressed lightly against his. He jumped as if he’d had fire touch him and nearly fell off the edge of the bed.

Amusement fisted in her chest, but something else far warmer and more tender, as well. She caught his hand, guiding it to her waist and curled her fingers around the back of his neck, urging him closer. He tilted his head to match his mouth to hers as she lifted her face to him.

For several moments, he merely pressed his lips to hers. Then he sucked in a shuddering breath, opened his mouth over hers and her entire being erupted into chaotic pleasure. Surprise threaded the pandemonium as it flickered through her mind that it might almost have been Sabin, that there was barely a hair’s difference between their taste and scent.

Then he banished the thought, swept the familiarity from her mind.

As fierce as his need was, as fervent as his exploration of her mouth, he didn’t seem to be content merely to explore it endlessly as Sabin did. Beyond that, each touch almost seemed to carry a current of heat. He broke the kiss within moments and detoured to her throat, the side of her neck, her ear.

She wasn’t certain if she was dizzy with his movements alone or with the barrage of sensations hitting her from different directions that drove her heat index through the roof.

He returned to her mouth, kissed her until the need for air drove him away and charted a path downward, lingering at her breasts just long enough to leave her gasping for breath before he moved lower. He worked his way all the way down to her belly, nipping and sucking at her skin until she felt as if she’d rolled in a bed of stinging ants, and then wound his way upward again.

It was all the foreplay she could handle for the moment. She coiled one leg around his hips, using it to banish the space between their genitals. Instantly distracted, he rolled, curling his hips and plowing his cock along the lips of her sex. Danielle reached between them a little frantically, grasped his engorged member and thrust it home, bucking to try to sheathe his length the moment they made a positive connection.

He uttered a choked grunt as her muscles clenched around his cock, as if he’d been punched in the belly but, far from deterring him, he seemed to lose focus in everything beyond driving as deeply inside of her as he could get.

He hit bottom and kept pushing for several moments, as if it took that long to reach his brain that he could go no further. Danielle couldn’t find it within her to object. His grinding motions against her clit almost set her off. She locked her legs around him, squeezing her eyes tightly closed and rotating her hips and then arched her head back as her body began to quake with release, uttering a low groan.

On shuddered, pumping his hips despite her frantic grip on him with her legs. It drove her climax to new heights, rocking her so hard she was still spasming when he reached his own peak and bathed her channel with his hot seed.

Gasping for breath, she allowed her arms and legs to drop limply to the bed. On collapsed weakly on top of her, forcing the air from her lungs. She panted for breath, reluctant to shove him off despite the effort it took to breathe.

She wasn’t certain if gratitude inspired it or if it was an urge to sooth, but she lifted a hand to stroke his damp hair and back when she felt the tremors still running through him.

She paused when it suddenly occurred to her that Sabin was watching the two of them, opening her eyes to look at him worriedly.

He met her gaze steadily. There was a light in his eyes that she couldn’t fathom. His gaze flicked to On. “You are crushing her with your weight.”

On moved with obvious effort. His eyes were clouded with confusion for a moment, but he stirred. Struggling, he pushed himself up and rolled off of her.

When he did, Sabin pulled her against his length and curled around her with his arm and leg. She nestled her head on his shoulder, trying to decide whether his attitude denoted possessiveness or protectiveness.

“You enjoyed watching?” she asked tentatively.

His deep sigh could’ve meant anything. “Yes. Not as much as I enjoy joining my body with yours, but, yes.”

She still felt discomfort rise inside of her, confusion, anxiety, but she was so spent from climaxing she felt sleep dragging her down. She was drifting toward oblivion when she felt On move close behind her, felt his still slightly ragged breath brush her hair, his long legs glide along hers. She stirred, opening her eyes, and saw that Sabin and On were looking at each other. After a moment, Sabin settled his head on the pillow beside hers again and removed his leg from her hips. On moved closer, draped his arm across her below Sabin’s arm and relaxed.