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Zach
Brett wanted to know if I’d go to a party with him. Biggest party of the year, he promised. It was scheduled the day before Christmas Eve. I was all in. All. Fucking. In. I told him to pick me up at my apartment since it was a safe haven again, now that Mom and Dad were back in town and Emma was back home.
I showered and blocked out everything in the room that reminded me of Emma. Sure, her moisturizer and perfume were sitting on the countertop along with her hairbrush. I stuffed those in a drawer so I wouldn’t have to look at them for three weeks.
I got out of the shower, dried off and put some gel in my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. I needed a shave. I couldn’t go like a wooly mammoth to the party. I lathered my face with shaving cream and got to work. I thought of Emma’s stuff that I’d thrown in the drawer. I pulled out the perfume and sprayed it gently. But like every damn thing in my life, it came out in a solid, streaming mist, filling the bathroom. Now I’d smell like fucking perfume. As I cursed myself, I took in the scent. I missed her. A million times I wanted to call her and beg her to forgive me, but I stopped myself every time. I was not stooping to that level. I was not that guy. No girl was going to make me resort to that. I didn’t beg.
I finished shaving and lathered myself with cologne to block out the Emma smell. I checked myself one last time then got dressed. Genie was in the living room when I went to get my jacket and keys.
“Where are you going?” She wrinkled her nose. “Did you marinate in cologne or something? Do I smell some perfume too?”
“Out with Brett,” I said, ignoring her other comment.
“Out where?”
“Well, Mom, none of your business.”
She looked over her shoulder and gave me a look. “Let me guess, you’re going out to get drunk and stupid. Am I right?”
“Maybe. Not sure. I should know in a few hours,” I said, glancing at my watch for emphasis.
“I’m not going to baby you anymore. Go screw up your life. See if I care.”
I grabbed my phone. Brett texted to say he was waiting downstairs. “Don’t wait up.”
“I won’t,” she said.
I got downstairs and climbed into Brett’s waiting car.
“Well, you don’t look like you’ve been trapped on an island for ten years anymore.”
“Funny.”
Brett sniffed the air. “Do you smell like perfume?”
“What? No! Where is this party at?” I said, changing the subject.
“Dan’s place. His parents are gone until the New Year. This party will be epic.”
“Good. I could use a good party. Let’s stop to get some booze. I don’t want to show up empty-handed.”
When we pulled up to the party, I swear I could feel the house thumping from inside Brett’s car. I grabbed the beer and whiskey I’d bought and we headed inside. The house was packed. I could barely see a corner that wasn’t filled with people. The music blared as I wove through the drinking masses. We reached the kitchen and I set down the alcohol. I grabbed a plastic cup and poured myself a drink. A tall one.
“Zach Fucking Walker,” Dan said, slapping my back. “Where the hell have you been keeping yourself?”
Dan and I had been frat brothers so long ago. I hadn’t seen him in a while. “Got to graduate this year.”
“Brett says you’ve settled down. Who’s the chick?”
I bristled. Nope, Emma was not ruining this evening. “A girl I met. Great party,” I said, pivoting.
“It’s not bad.”
Another guy pulled Dan away and I returned to my drink. Brett decided to circulate so I followed along. I caught up with guys I hadn’t seen in ages. I listened but didn’t participate much. When my first drink was done, I headed to the kitchen to make myself another. I didn’t mind being alone for a few minutes, especially with a lonely bowl of pretzels. We could keep each other company.
“Zach Walker?”
I turned to see a girl standing next to me. I had no idea who the petite brunette was. Her wide dark brown eyes stared at me, her cheeks flushed from booze or whatever else flushed cheeks.
“Yeah,” I said.
“I’m Sophie. We had a class together last year. Political Ideas and Ideologies.”
There were thirty people in that class. I didn’t remember her. “Sorry, I don’t have a great memory.”
“That’s okay. I sat behind you.”
“Want a drink?” I asked. “Pretzels?”
She giggled and her face flushed some more. “Sure. What do you have?”
I scanned the counter. “Pretty much everything. Vodka, whiskey, rum and tons of beer.”
“I’ll have what you’re having.”
“Whiskey and Coke coming up.”
She giggled again and then it hit me that she was nervous. I finished my drink and poured two more. One for Sophie and one for me. I handed it to her and she smiled. She was cute with a lot of curves.
“I don’t know a lot of people here so when I saw you, it was a face I recognized.”
I sipped my drink. “Who’d you come with?”
“A couple of friends. They’ve already dumped me. I have no idea where they are.”
“I see. I figured you would have come with your boyfriend.”
What was I doing?
“Nah, I don’t have one,” she said and giggled some more. Based on the giggles, she’d had a few. “How about you?” she asked.
“I don’t have a boyfriend either,” I deadpanned.
She giggled some more. “Okay, I meant a girlfriend, silly.”
I smiled, the first time in a long time. “It’s complicated.”
She frowned a little. “Oh, that sucks.”
“Shit happens. How does a gorgeous girl like you not have a boyfriend?”
Okay, I had to stop now.
“I broke up with my last boyfriend a few months ago. No big deal.”
“His loss.”
And then a little voice nagged me. The voice sounded a lot like Genie and it was telling me that old Zach was creeping in, starting to play this girl hard. The Zach that dated a girl for a few months, fucked around as much as he could, then got bored. That shitty Zach. I silently told the voice to shut up.
“So this relationship, with a girl, why is it complicated?”
I took another sip of my drink. “Well, I’m here and she’s not.”
“Bummer.”
“Do you know Dan?” I asked, pivoting again.
“Carly, my friend, does.”
“The friend who disappeared on you,” I said, flashing a smile.
“Yeah. Great friends, huh?”
She wasn’t drinking much. Did she want to keep in control? “My drink isn’t good?”
“I’m the designated driver tonight, so I’m pacing myself.”
“I see. Do you mind if I have another?”
“Not at all.”
“You live on campus?” I asked, pouring my newest drink.
“I live around campus with a couple of friends. Well, the friends I’m here with. The ones who’ve abandoned me.”
I smiled. Time to seal the deal. “Well, if you want to ditch this party, we could get out of here.”
Her eyes opened wide and she caught her breath. She bit down on her lower lip, likely weighing all the options. “Okay, sure,” she said with a smile.
I gulped my drink and set down the empty cup. “Great. Let’s go.”
I followed her as she cut through the crowd. There was a jump in her step and as we walked, Genie’s voice returned, imploring me to stop. I shut it out again. We almost made it to the door when Brett appeared out of fucking nowhere.
“Where are you going?” he said, stepping in front of me.
I scowled. “I’m leaving with . . .” Fuck, I’d forgotten her name. Sara? “Sophie,” I said, proud of myself.
“No, you’re not.”
Sophie turned back and waited, staring at Brett.
“Yeah, I am, so get the fuck out of my way.”
Brett’s expression turned to stone. “Do you think I’m going to let you leave here with some random broad?”
“I think you should mind your own business.”
“No way. I’m not letting you fuck things up for yourself. I’m also not letting you do something you’re going to regret.”
Heat rose in my face. I inched closer to him. “Get out of my way,” I seethed.
“You don’t intimidate me,” he said, even though his eyes were telling me otherwise. “I’m your friend, and I’m trying to stop you from doing something really stupid.”
“I appreciate your concern, but you better move.”
Brett puffed out his chest, more for his benefit than mine. “So let me get this straight. You go home with this girl, fuck her, then what? Let me tell you what. You throw away everything you have with Emma for Sophie, a chick you’ve known ten minutes? Sounds like a fantastic plan, Einstein.”
I poked him hard in the chest with a finger. “Mind your own fucking business.”
“I won’t let you go.”
I laughed. I had inches on him and at least thirty pounds. With one shove I had him out of the way with his ass hitting the ground. A few people gasped, others gave dirty looks as Brett fell into them. I opened the front door and Sophie went outside. I followed her, slamming the door behind me.
“Look, maybe we shouldn’t do this,” she said. Panic had risen in her voice and the wide eyes returned, but for the wrong reasons.
“Forget him,” I said. “He’s an asshole.”
“I don’t want to be trouble.”
She was nervous now. Fucking Brett. “You won’t be trouble,” I said, trying to smile. “Let’s get out of here.”
That’s when the hit came. I didn’t see him coming. Brett tackled me from behind, sending us both into the nearest snowbank. I was face-first in the snow, trying to turn over, get the upper hand on him, but I couldn’t move. The asshole had me pinned in some kind of wrestling hold. Being on our high school wrestling team had finally paid off.
“Do you think I’m going to let you do this? I’m your best friend, you asshole.”
He had both my arms trapped behind my back. He adjusted the grip and pain shot through me.
“Let me go!”
“I’ll break one of your arms before I let you go.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because Emma is an awesome girl. And if you go home with this girl, that’s over forever. You don’t think it will get back to her? And then you’ll have fucked up your life more than what you’ve already done. So is it worth it?”
“It’s over, Brett. It’s fucking over,” I screamed.
“No, it’s not! But it will be if you do this.”
The snow should have been cold on my face, but it was burning hot. “She left.”
“You left! What did you expect her to do?”
“I don’t know how to fix this! To get her back. I . . .” my voice trailed off.
Brett released his grip a little. “If I let you go, you’re not going to hit me, right?”
I nodded, too choked to say words.
He let go and I sat up in the snow. Sophie was long gone and it was just the two of us shivering in the cold.
“I’ll get our jackets,” Brett said. “You go anywhere and I’ll fucking kill you.”
I didn’t move. When he returned, he found me where he’d left me. He held out his hand and helped me to my feet.
“Why don’t we go to the car and talk a bit, okay? At least until I sober up a bit. Thankfully I haven’t had much to drink. I can’t say the same for you,” Brett said.
I shuffled to the car. He started it to warm it up.
“Man, what were you thinking?”
“Not much,” I muttered. “Thanks for stopping me.”
“I’m pretty sure you would have stopped yourself, but I figured it was best to be your insurance policy.”
“You’re a good friend,” I said quietly.
“I know you think I don’t know shit, but this will work out. She is going to be back.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know that.”
“Look, when I met Emma, I thought she was the weirdest, fucked up chick in all of Minnesota. Maybe all of the USA. But I got to know her and she’s super cool. I can see why you fell hard for her. I’ve got this feeling it will be okay, but you have to smarten up.”
I stared out the window as more people showed up to the party. Happy people. “I should have destroyed the video the second I remembered I had it.”
“Well, you didn’t, so no use wallowing in the past. You’ve got to suck it up now, make amends and find a way to win her back. This is NOT the way to win her back. Drinking and hitting up random chicks is really stupid.” He stopped. “When did I become the adult around here?”
I smiled a little. I didn’t appreciate Brett as much as I should have. “So what do I do? And please, don’t tell me to walk around shirtless.”
“Be around, but leave her alone. You know?”
“Not really. Sounds like any oxymoron to me.”
“No, it’s not. Be around, but make her miss what she had. And I happen to think the shirtless route is the way to go.”
“Yeah, you’re right, except the shirtless part. Brett, I finally met a girl I love to death, and I did everything wrong.”
“Look, I know what’s eating you. For once you’re not in control. You’re the most in-control guy I know. This time you’re going to have to wait and see, but I know she’s coming back.”
This coming from a guy who was usually wrong about everything. “Do you feel okay to drive? I want to get out of here.”
Brett nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
I needed to sleep this night off and forget it ever happened.