Report of a bomb threat in a large, crowded city park brings the Michigan State Police bomb squad running. The alleged bomb is hidden inside a McDonald’s bag that has been carefully and strategically placed on a park bench.
Within minutes of the phone call, the entire bomb squad is in action. Big burly troopers wearing specialized suits and face-shields drive the armored truck into the park as close as they dare to the aforementioned park bench. In synchronized movements they guard the perimeter and advise the growing crowd of onlookers to be careful. “Stand behind the yellow tape! This is a dangerous situation—come no closer!” Typical cop talk. Typical cop activity: guarding citizens at all costs.
The audience is transfixed as the bomb squad brings out the new robot (which the state police are very proud of, by the way). It is carefully brought into position by remote control—actually, awesome technology to observe.
The robot’s arm is slowly and strategically extended towards the paper bag. It is just about ready to pick up the bomb to place it in the truck for detonation when, out of nowhere, a seagull dives towards the bag, snatches it up, and flies away with it!
The bomb squad starts shouting and cussing at the scavenger. Some members grab their radios, trying to communicate with headquarters on how to best handle this change of events. Other officers scratch their heads in disbelief … and yet others start to chase the bird.
“Hey—follow that bird!”
“No, shoot it!”
“NOOO! We can’t shoot it, the bomb will blow up!”
“If it lands in the tree, then shoot it.”
“He’s still flying, dumb-ass!”
“Uh, oh . . . oh no . . . he’s landing . . .”
“Oh, NO! He’s pecking at the bag!”
“RUN, Forrest, RUN!!!!”
Each time the bird lands, the crowd scatters in all directions. No sooner does everyone get re-situated then the gull changes its mind and flies off again! The bird does this at least three times, as if only looking for a wee bit of privacy to enjoy its prize.
Since the bag has not yet exploded, Trooper Forrest finally says, “Hmm, maybe it’s not a bomb . . .”
The bird eventually lands long enough to start pecking at the bag. As the bomb squad and crowd watch in anticipation, the seagull tears open the bag with its bill and pulls out a half-eaten hamburger and some French fries! The empty McDonald’s bag begins to drift away on the breeze, as onlookers laugh and clap and cackle. “Maybe you better chase the empty bag now, troopers!” Then someone offers, “I know—shoot the bird for littering!”
Embarrassed, tired, and silent, the state troopers begin to load up the million-dollar robot. One of the officers picks up the bag and throws it in a nearby trash can.
If they hadn’t experienced it themselves, this specially trained group of men would not imagine it possible for one small bird to bring an entire bomb squad to its knees.