The next morning was Christmas and everyone woke up early to do the present exchange, seated around the living room. Sabrina smiled, full of hope, as she looked across the room at her mom, trying to remember the last time she had shared a Christmas morning with her. It had to have been at least four years.
They all took turns opening presents and exchanging hugs and thanks. All three kids got a new laptop from Gloria and Richard, something that surprised everyone and Sabrina considered as going overboard. As for going overboard, Dez was not to be outdone, giving Sabrina a platinum diamond and pearl necklace she had seen months ago online. Luckily, he had opened her more practical presents earlier—a new set of top of the line headphones and few old Bruce Lee movies she knew he wanted. Finally, at her mother’s insistence, Sabrina grabbed the last two presents under the tree and noticed they were for her and Adam.
“I wanted you each to have this,” Gloria said. “I was going through some items and found it. I didn’t know if either of you had ever seen it, but I knew it would mean a lot to you.”
Sabrina unwrapped the gift and gasped as she pulled the final piece of paper off the picture frame. Staring back at her was a younger version of her hero. In the picture, her father was standing next to his father and they each had an arm draped over the other’s shoulders, both wearing broad smiles. The trees behind them were full and green and the sky was an impossible blue, bringing out the blue of their eyes. It brought tears to her.
“I haven’t ever seen this picture,” she said as she looked over at Adam, who was unwrapping his version of the same photo.
“Me either,” Adam said with a sad smile and a tear hanging out of one eye. “Where are they?”
Gloria smiled as she recounted the day. “It was the day your father graduated from law school at the university. His father had come up from Kansas City for the graduation. I remember his dad was so proud of him. He couldn’t stop smiling the entire day. The smile you see there? It never left his face. I put the date and location on the back of the photo so you will always have it.”
Adam stood up, walked over to his mom, and gave her a long hug.
Sabrina quickly followed with a warm hug. “This means so much. I don’t think I have any pictures of Grandpa Roy. Adam, do you?”
“I do now,” he said with a smile. Andy and Raina crowded around him, looking at the picture.
Sabrina was taken aback by the gift. A picture of her father was like a little piece of gold, but to have one with her grandfather, too, was utterly priceless. Maybe her mother was trying to make up for things in the past, and if so, she certainly was bringing her “A” game.
“Best present ever,” she said with a sincere smile.
Gloria sat back on the couch, seemingly pleased with herself. “I figured you could use a couple of old friendly faces.” She threw Sabrina a wink.
“Okay, if that concludes our gift portion of the holiday, who wants to help me with breakfast?” Lisa looked around the room that held little enthusiasm for her offer. “Not everyone at once, please.”
Giggles filled the room.
Dez stood up. “I can help. Breakfast ain’t nothin’ but a thing.” He pointed at Andy. “You with me?”
Andy looked up at him and smiled. “Sure.”
Sabrina remembered when she first brought Dez around the family. Andy would follow him around like a little boy. He would ask Dez questions nonstop about football and all his favorite football players. They had formed a special bond, and she found it cute to watch them interact.
Dez examined Andy as he rose to his feet, as if sizing him up. “You know, I’ve been meaning to tell you . . . you are looking tough.” He threw a mock punch at him Andy flinched and grinned as he recoiled. “I can tell you’re hitting the weights, man. Good for you.”
Andy smiled his awkward teenage smile, appreciating the praise. “Thanks.”
Dez motioned to his daughter and Sabrina could see where he was going with it. He was on a mission to keep Olivia humble and hardworking. She might live in a house of privilege, but Dez had made it clear he didn’t want her to act the part. “Olivia, you need to help, too. Put the dog down, wash your hands, and let’s go.”
Olivia rolled her eyes and let out a big sigh of what sounded like annoyance. She handed Sophie to Raina and walked toward the kitchen. As she passed, Dez grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. Sabrina shook her head; she had watched the scene play out dozens of times before.
“I love my little girl . . . I just don’t want her to be spoiled and lazy,” he said in an elevated voice as he engulfed Olivia in a bear hug.
Olivia tried to squirm out of it, but quickly gave up. She giggled a little, fighting the attention, but seeming to enjoy it at the same time.
Within moments, Lisa had organized breakfast production, assigning everyone duties. Sabrina slowly reloaded the coffeemaker and quietly observed the laughter and smiles all around. This was her family. I almost missed out on this. I almost didn’t make it. Almost. Yes, this is why I survived.
After breakfast, Sabrina invited Gloria and Lisa to take a walk around the neighborhood while the guys devoted time to watching basketball. It was a brisk afternoon, but the sun was out, so she didn’t think it would be unbearable. She looked forward to more time with her mom, but didn’t want to leave Lisa out. Even little Sophie went with them.
“Oh my gosh. I need the fresh air. I don’t know how they do it all day long in front of the TV,” Sabrina said.
“Me either,” said Lisa. “Since I’ve gotten a lot of my energy back, I am always ready for a walk. It wasn’t that long ago that I would get winded just going up the stairs.”
“That’s great progress, Lisa.” Sabrina gave her a smile. “You do seem to be back to your spirited self. And I don’t blame you for walking around here.” She took a deep breath and looked around at the picturesque homes trimmed in holiday finery. “Your neighborhood is so quaint. I really love these houses. Amazing.”
“It is a great neighborhood. We really lucked out and bought at the right time,” Lisa said, following her gaze.
“Richard and I have considered moving down this way. We’d be closer to family. I think we will move within the next year,” said Gloria.
“That’d be great,” Lisa said, smiling at her. “You guys could visit more. You could come to the kids’ events, see Andy play football, and Raina always has something—plays, dance, and track. That would be fun.”
“I would love to be able to do that, too,” said Sabrina. “Dez and I should definitely come down for more of Andy’s games next year. We didn’t see a single one this year. Before we know it, he’ll be graduated.”
“Ugh,” said Lisa. “Tell me about it. He’s got two and a half more years. I’m not ready.”
“You’re never ready,” Gloria said. “It just happens and then your kids grow up.”
Sabrina couldn’t help finding her comment odd. But you never really seemed into motherhood, Mom. As the thought settled in her head, she stopped and quickly picked up Sophie, who was lagging behind. “I think someone has reached her max.”
“She sure is a cute thing,” said Lisa. “I wish we would get another dog, but when Murphy died, it was a huge blow, especially to the kids. I don’t know if we want to be that attached again.”
“Oh, I think you could very easily,” said Sabrina. “I know Dez got Sophie to try and help us through things, and just between us, I kind of questioned that. You know, the whole ‘Hey I know you were kidnapped and raped and now you’re all messed up, so here’s a dog,’ but she really has been great for all of us.”
“Well, you sure seem great, Sabrina, whether the dog has anything to do with it or not. The journey you’ve been on . . . you’ve really had to be strong,” said Lisa.
Gloria gave Sabrina a side hug. “I second that. Your father would be so proud.”
“Yeah,” Sabrina said with a tinge of sadness. “I really could have used some of his TLC. Tell ya that.”
Lisa slowed her gait, looked around, and rubbed her gloved hands together. “What do you think, ladies? Shall we head back? I’m getting cold even though the sun’s out.”
Gloria laughed. “Oh boy. Just don’t ever visit us in Minnesota after October or before April. You’d never last, honey.”
When they returned to the house, the boys were still planted in front of the TV in the family room, snacking and drinking. Sabrina was surprised that Dez was drinking so early in the day. At this rate, he’ll be asleep by three, she thought.
After a brief trip down memory lane, recalling who had made which ornament on the Christmas tree, Lisa set up sandwich makings out on the kitchen table, along with chips and holiday cookies. Sabrina envied her natural hostess abilities, always so organized. Only a few months prior, she had endured cancer treatments four times a week. Lisa was as much a survivor as she was and she was recovering in fabulous fashion, including her fun plans for supper—homemade pizzas. It got everyone involved and interacting with each other as they made their own pizza and in a creative way took the onus off of her as the hostess. Sabrina truly admired her thinking.
After supper, Sabrina was anxious to lounge around the cozy living room and relax with everyone. It was the perfect setting. Adam turned the fireplace on, served beer or wine to the adults and hot chocolate for the kids, and put some Christmas music on softly in the background.
“So,” Adam looked around the room. “When are we doing this again?”
“Super Bowl party in OKC,” said Dez.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Sabrina said, nodding at him. With things going so well with her mom, she would really like the chance to get them all together again on her turf. Her mom had only been to their house once. She wanted to keep their closeness this time.
Adam looked at Lisa. “Sounds good. Mom, Richard? Are you in?”
Richard looked at Gloria. “I think we can make that happen.”
“Great!” Sabrina moved from the couch to Dez’s lap. He grinned as she made herself comfortable, looping her arms around his neck. “Lordy, you smell of beer.”
“Yeah, I’ve had a few or fourteen.” He grinned. “And I’ve eaten like a factory this whole time. I feel gross.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Adam. “You look like a fat mess. Poor thing, with your washboard stomach.”
Everybody laughed. Dez threw a throw pillow at Adam. Andy, in turn, threw a pillow at Dez, who threw one back at Andy, too.
Olivia stood up with Sophie in her arms. “Dad, can we stay in your room tonight with you guys and watch a movie?”
“A movie?” Dez gave her a silly look. “Aren’t you all movied out by now?”
She giggled.
“I think that is a good idea,” said Sabrina. They hadn’t spent much time together since they had gotten to Adam’s, what with Olivia attached to Raina’s hip. When Olivia was with Dez and Sabrina, she was like an only child, so to have another girl her age around was like winning the lottery. They had spent most of their time in Raina’s room doing “girl stuff,” which, as far as Sabrina could tell, included texting each other while in the same room and painting nail polish on Sophie’s claws. “What movie do you want to watch?”
“Whatever. I just remember we did that last year and it was fun.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Sabrina nodded. “Olivia likes her traditions.”
An hour later, after they had started a movie in their guest room upstairs, the room was quiet except for the sounds of the actors. No one had commented on the movie in several long moments, prompting Dez to sit up in the bed and look around. Sabrina was beside him and Olivia on the other side of her—both slumped together, passed out for the evening. Even Sophie was plopped on Olivia’s feet, sleeping. All the eating and visiting during the day had caught up with them. He turned off the TV, got up, turned the bathroom light on, and went back to bed.
He was exhausted. Settling beside Sabrina again, and happy that he didn’t have to watch the entire rom-com musical they had picked out, he sighed and stifled a belch.
The whole day long he had been drinking and eating and then he drank some more. He drank more than he should have, but they weren’t leaving for home until later in the afternoon, so he figured he had some time to sleep and recover. His girls were safe, the day had gone well, and Sabrina had made up with Gloria. The world was spinning in the right way. Now, only to keep it that way.
He got up in the middle of the night to relieve himself, trying not to jostle the bed. He hadn’t been sleeping long after that when he awoke with a start. It was quiet and dark, making him wonder what woke him, when the bed began to shake and shrill cries filled the room. He jumped out of the bed, trying to find his bearings in the unfamiliar bedroom. He reached in the dark to grab Sabrina, but he could hear her more than see her. She screamed again.
“It’s okay, hon. It’s—”
She swung her arms back and forth, thrashing wildly, yelling hateful obscenities at the top of her lungs. Her fist struck the side of his head, causing a piercing pain in his right ear. He backed away and fumbled for the light.
Once the light flooded the room, he saw Olivia and Sophie sleeping, too. And there was Sabrina in the middle of the bed, flailing, screaming, and crying uncontrollably. Olivia awoke slowly to the commotion.
Dez tried not to sound panicked, but his heart was beating out of his chest. Olivia hadn’t seen Sabrina in her night terrors. “Olivia, take Sophie and go to Raina’s room.”
Olivia looked up in horror, half awake. “Daddy, what’s happening?”
He rushed over, grabbed her hand and scooped up Sophie, almost sprinting to the doorway. “Go to Raina’s room!”
Olivia stumbled behind him, rubbing her eyes. “What is—?”
“Just do it, baby,” he said, putting Sophie in her arms and giving her a nudge out the door and quickly closing it.
As he turned around, his eyes never left Sabrina, concentrating on her movements and the sound of her voice, so loud and full of fear.
Just then, the door opened and Adam bounded into the room. His face was a mix of fear and horror at seeing his sister out of control. “What’s . . . what’s wrong with her?”
“She’ll be okay,” Dez muttered as he tried to get in front of Sabrina. He tried to connect eyes with her, but mentally she was in another, terribly awful place. “Sabrina. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he said softly. “Sabrina . . .”
He watched her slowly come out of her nightmare. He held her, trying to fight off the tears puddling in his eyes. I did this. I did this to you. “I uh . . .” He struggled to keep his composure yet still give Adam a quick reason. “I forgot and turned the light off.” He felt her body slowly conform to his, then stiffen, and then press to him again. “Sabrina, I am so sorry.”
It was all his fault. He had turned off the light. Sabrina, please forgive me.