Chapter Twenty

When Roger escorted them into the hospital’s waiting room, Bradford was anxiously pacing the floor and Barbara sat tapping her foot.

“Any news?” Roger prompted as he helped his mother into the chair beside his cousin.

“Nothing. He’s still in surgery.” Bradford kissed his mother’s cheek before his troubled gaze moved to Amanda. “He’s going to be fine, Mandy,” he offered by way of a reassurance.

Amanda nodded, thankful for the firm support of the chair beneath her. She absently heard Mrs. McFadden demanding to know how this could happen. Zachary was an expert skier.

Bradford explained that an inexperienced skier had cut Zachary off on a steep downhill run, plowing right into him. The other man had walked away with barely a scratch while Zach had to be rushed to the hospital in the ambulance.

“I want to see him now!” Mrs. McFadden insisted. “Where is Henry? You did call Henry, didn’t you, Bradford?”

“Yes, Mother. He’s with Zach,” he explained patiently as he came to take her hands into his. “Getting yourself upset will only raise your blood pressure and won’t help Zach. He’s tough. He’ll be fine.”

“I agree with Aunt Rebecca. It’s taking too long,” Barbara said to no one in particular.

“I’ll get you some coffee. Too bad this place doesn’t provide hard liquor. I could use a drink.” Bradford asked, “Mandy? Barbara? You care for something to drink.”

Amanda looked up at the sound of her name but she had not been listening to the others. She’d been praying. “Sorry. What did you say?”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, no, thank you.”

Amanda hastily wiped away a tear. All she knew was that it hurt having him here and not knowing how he was doing. How long before they knew something? How long until she could see Zachary … see for herself that he was going to be all right?

She was unaware of when Bradford left, or when he returned, for that matter. She stared without really seeing what was beyond the windows. She detested this place.

She knew every inch of this room, probably had sat in every chair, seen every snag in the carpet, counted the number of flowers in the wallpaper. Nothing had changed, except for the magazines on the side tables.

She’d spent so many hours in this very room while her grandfather was growing weaker with each passing day. Jake Daniels had died in this hospital. Zachary had waited with her. He’d held her, talked to her and comforted her. Sometimes he’d simply sat next to her. The last time she had been here she’d been the patient. It was the day she had lost their baby.

“Oh, Zach … please be all right. Please,” she silently chanted.

The sun had slipped from the sky, leaving the room heavy with shadows when Roger switched on the lamps while Bradford continued to pace.

“Good evening, folks.” Dr. Henry Coleman’s appearance brought them to their feet. “Rebecca, Amanda, I’m glad you both were able to make it.” This elderly gentleman had been a friend and doctor to both families for many years.

“Sorry, it took so long. Doctor Vermin was called in to repair the damage to the leg. The surgery went well, even though there was quite a bit of damage to the leg.”

“How is he?” Barbara rushed forward, voicing the most important question.

“He’s still in recovery, but the surgery went well.”

“Get to the point, Henry,” Roger demanded. “Just how extensive are his injuries?”

Dr. Coleman smiled indulgently before saying, “It looks good. He also has a few bruised ribs, but there is no damage done to the lungs. We were really lucky with that but he does have a concussion.”

“A concussion!” Mrs. McFadden exclaimed. “No one told us about a concussion.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. I want to keep him here and still for a few days. Give the leg time to knit together. Knowing Zach, that’s not going to be easy.” He chuckled.

“I want to see my boy,” Mrs. McFadden insisted.

Amanda was weak with relief just knowing that he had made it through the surgery and was on the mend. But the doctor’s reassurance was not enough. She needed to see for herself that he was going to be all right.

“It will be a while, Rebecca. He’s still in recovery now. When he’s awake and moved to his room you all can see him, but only for a short time.” He gaze went to Amanda. “You all right, my dear?”

“I will be, once I’ve seen my husband.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Dr. Coleman nodded, then excused himself. True to his word, in a little over an hour, the nurse came to show them into the waiting area, closer to Zachary’s room.

Amanda was permitted to go in first, despite his mother’s objection.

“He’s heavily sedated, Mrs. McFadden,” the nurse cautioned Amanda outside his door.

She nodded her understanding as she walked inside. Zachary’s eyes were closed, and he had a bandage on his forehead. Although the lower half of his body was covered, the cast on his right leg started above his knee and went past his ankle to the middle of his foot, and it was supported by a pulley mounted above the bed. His normally bronze skin had taken on a gray tinge.

She was forced to blink back tears, her heart aching with love for him alone. She quietly crossed to the bed, taking the chair closest to the bed. She wanted to touch him, to run her hands down his lean cheeks and to press her lips to his mouth. She longed to feel his strong arms wrapped reassuringly around her.

She did nothing to disturb him; instead she was content just to sit, touch his hand and watch him sleep. She whispered a prayer of thankfulness that he had not been critically injured.

When his heavy-lidded black lashes lifted, he focused on her. “Mandy …” he whispered.

She squeezed his hand while forcing a smile. “Hi, sleepy head. How do you feel?”

“Better … now that you’re with me,” he said groggily, then closed his eyes again. “Sorry …” he mumbled. “They have me so doped up I can hardly keep my eyes open.” He drifted off again.

The nurse notified her a few minutes later it was time for her to leave. Zachary woke when she tried to ease her hand away.

He held on to it. “Stay …”

“Honey, your family is waiting to see you.”

“Stay with me.”

The nurse smiled. “I’ll send your family in one at a time, Mr. McFadden. Your wife can stay but you have to rest,” she said before leaving.

Amanda sank back into the chair, relieved that she wouldn’t have to leave him just yet. He barely managed a smile before closing his eyes again.

Refusing to dwell on the fact that her vulnerability to him grew as her feelings intensified, she focused on him. There would be time enough for that later. Time to acknowledge her doubts.

Each member of the family was allowed to stay for only a short time. His mother didn’t even try to hide her resentment that Amanda was allowed to stay with him. It was in the pointed look she sent Amanda’s way. Zachary was asleep when Amanda finally left, late that night.

 

 

She tossed restlessly, unable to sleep. She missed Zachary. She was pleased to find that he looked much better the next morning. He still had a terrible headache, was badly bruised, and his leg throbbed.

His family dropped in for visits during the course of the day. Amanda was grateful that Mrs. McFadden planned her visits during meal times, thus allowing Amanda an excuse to leave under the pretext of eating her own meal in the hospital cafeteria. Amanda kept her thoughts to herself. The last thing she wanted was to arouse his suspicions that there was something wrong between his wife and his beloved mother.

The next day when he began complaining about everything from the food to his forced confinement, Amanda was relieved. He wasn’t so deadly still and he was definitely on the mend.

Just knowing how much the older woman resented her made it extremely difficult for Amanda to stay on. She had already prolonged her stay into the following week.

Even while hospitalized, Zachary managed to make arrangements for Amanda to have a car and driver at her disposal. Touched by his thoughtfulness when she tried to thank him, he claimed his motives were selfish. He wanted her to be able to visit him, frequently.

He slept through much of the first two days. On Wednesday morning when Amanda arrived she was pleased to find him sitting in one of the bedside armchairs with his leg propped on pillows. Each day he slept a little less and was getting stronger.

When she returned from her evening meal, he was on the telephone with his foreman giving orders for the next day’s work schedule. Although she fussed at him for working when he should have been resting, she was delighted with his progress. He wore his own navy pajamas, the right leg seam split to accommodate the cast.

While preparing to leave, she mentioned, “Honey, I won’t be in until late afternoon tomorrow.”

“You’re going back to Denver?”

“Yes, just for a few hours in the morning. I’ll catch a ride in with Roger in the morning and drive back to see you after my luncheon appointment.”

“Where are you planning on spending the night?”

“Honey, I have a business to run, remember?” She smiled, attempting to ignore the frown forming between his dark brows. “Besides, you’re doing so much better that you don’t need me here all day and I’ll be here every afternoon until you’re out of this place.”

She knew what had caused his frown. He wanted her to stay on at the ranch. She swallowed back her frustration. She simply couldn’t spend another night under the same roof as Mrs. McFadden, especially when she was in danger of strangling the woman. His mother looked at her most days as if she couldn’t stand the sight of her. The strain wasn’t good for either of them. It was plain that one of them had to go, and it was going to be Amanda.

“I repeat, where are you planning on spending your nights?”

“My weekend stay has already been extended. I’ve imposed on your family long enough. Besides, now that you’re so much better, it’s time I went into the office.” She leaned over from where she sat beside him on the bed to brush her lips against his in the hope of softening his mood. “Honey, I promise to spend every afternoon and evening with you until you’re out of here. If we’re lucky, you should be home by Friday.”

He caught her chin, angling her face until she had no choice but to meet his dark penetrating gaze.

She smiled at him. “Honey, don’t scowl so. You look quite fierce with that ugly purple bruise on your forehead.”

It was the firm set of his jaw that announced that he expected an answer.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be staying at the condo.”

“Has my mother been rude to you again?”

She wasn’t quick enough to conceal her shock. “What do you mean?” she hedged.

He caught her hand and placed it over his silk-covered chest. “You know perfectly well what I mean, Mandy McFadden. I overheard what my mother said to you on Saturday evening. She and I had a long talk before the ski trip.”

He toyed with her wedding rings before he lifted her hand and placed a kiss in her palm. “I’m sorry, pretty girl. I had no idea that she has given you such a hard time. I never realized how much she resents you. I wish you had come to me with this.”

She shook her head. “How could I tell you when I know how much you love your mother? Besides, I wish you hadn’t spoken to her.”

“Why not?”

“It only placed more strain on both of us.” She suddenly realized that was exactly what had happened. It certainly explained why their pitiful relationship had deteriorated even more.

“The Circle-M is mine. I own the land and the property. If my mother can’t treat you with the respect and courtesy due you as my wife, then she will have to leave.”

“You told her all this?”

“Exactly.”

Amanda couldn’t believe it. No wonder the woman had taken to her bed much of the day on Sunday, until she heard of Zachary’s accident. It certainly explained why his mother had barely spoken to her.

“Has my mother said something more to you? Has she made you feel less welcome since I’ve been in here?”

“Zach, have you lost your mind! You can’t ask your mother to leave her own home because of me!”

“I had no choice.”

“You want her to hate me for the rest of my natural life? Because she’s going to blame me, not you.” She began pacing and mumbling to herself, “This doesn’t make any sense. I have my own place. I can’t believe you’re being so cruel to your own mother.”

“Calm down, baby. You know I love my mother. I’ll see that she is always well provided for, even build her a new home on the property, and she can keep the staff. But she can’t remain where she is, if she’s going to mistreat you.”

He looked tired as he leaned back against his pillows. Yet Amanda could tell by the set of his jaw that Zachary wasn’t about to change his mind.

“Your mother has not been unkind to me.” Amanda lowered her eyes so he couldn’t see the lie in them.

“Then why did she say what she did?”

“She was upset because Roger and Peggy plan to build a home of their own. So what if she lost her temper? We’ve all said things we regret in a moment of anger.”

“Are you sure that was all it was?”

“Of course, I’m sure. It was nothing! Besides, you know I prefer living in Denver. Enough of this. Honey, you’re exhausted.” Coming over to him, she said, “Please try and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow as soon as I can get away.”

Her intent was to kiss his cheek, but Zachary had other ideas. He cupped her nape, bringing her mouth to his. The kiss was undemanding, but thorough.

Inhaling her floral scent, he whispered against her throat, “I hate not being able to hold you during the night. Have you missed being in my arms as much as I’ve missed having you there?”

“Oh, yes.” She sighed softly. Despite her best efforts she ached for his touch, for more of his kisses, yet she moved away. She laughed. “Let’s not start something we can’t finish. Besides, it’s late and you need to rest.”

Grabbing her coat, she slipped it on and tucked her purse over her shoulder as he said her name.

“Huh?”

“I’d feel much better about you staying in Denver if you continued to use the car and let Alex drive you.”

“Zach, I’m not some rock star. I’m not used to having a limousine and driver.”

“Get used to it or stay at the DoubleD.”

Her entire body stiffened with tension, her hands clenching into small fists. “You know I can’t stay there, not without my …” Her voice trailed away, unable to say her grandfather’s name.

“I know it’s been hard, but don’t you think it’s time? Maybe, if you saw the place again, it won’t be quite as painful as you’re anticipating.”

“I can’t …” she said around a sob. “It’s too soon.” All she could think about was that her beloved grandfather would not be there to greet her.

“Don’t agonize over it. When you’re ready we’ll do it together. Okay?”

She nodded, biting her trembling lip.

“In the meantime, you have a driver. Think of all the work you can get done during the ride, which means less for you to deal with at home later.”

“I thought we had decided.”

“No, Mandy. I don’t want you driving that far alone, especially at night. It will only be until I’m out of the hospital and back on my feet.”

“I’m not helpless!” She was so annoyed by his insistence that she overlooked the fact that he had qualified her living in the condo for only the present.

“I’m aware of that, but it’s not the problem. My peace of mind is what’s in question. I might not be out of here until the weekend. How do you think it makes me feel, knowing I can’t do a thing to help you if you run into trouble on the road?” His eyes never left hers. “Even when I get out of this place, I won’t be able to drive or fly until this cast comes off.”

“I hate riding in that limousine. I feel pretentious.”

Alex Jenson was her driver. He, like his mother, Kate, and all of Jake Daniels’s old employees, were now on Zachary’s payroll since he took over the running of her grandfather’s ranch.

She had no choice but to accept the full extent of her own selfishness since her grandfather’s death. She had been caught up in grief, so much so that she had not even thought of, let alone concerned herself with, the needs of Jake’s employees, most of whom were old friends. Seeing Alex every day was a constant reminder of her shortcomings. Wasn’t it bad enough that Zachary knew of her failings?

She wasn’t only upset with herself but aware that her grandfather would be ashamed of her thoughtlessness. If not for Zach, her grandfather’s people would be jobless or worse.

“Both my brothers have busy schedules. They may not be available when you want to come to the hospital. A driver is the solution, and Alex is the best. I shouldn’t have to tell you that, Mandy, since he has been Jake’s mechanic and handyman for years. Use him, if not for any other reason than for my sake.”

Amanda knew she had lost that round.

“All right. Night,” she conceded, then hurried out.

 

 

Two days later, Zachary told Amanda he would be released the next day.

“Honey! That’s fantastic!”

She was perched on the side of his bed, dressed in a cream turtleneck and brown leather slacks. She leaned forward to caress his cheek. When she straightened, she realized he didn’t seem pleased.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m going back to the ranch, Mandy.”

“I know. You don’t have any choice. Even I don’t expect you to run the ranch from Denver. And you won’t be able to fly until the cast is off. Of course there’ll be some physical therapy.”

“This is not only about me.”

“We have a logistic problem. What’s new about that?” She rose to her feet, saying with a smile, “Six weeks isn’t so long.”

She had refused to dwell on the changes that may occur once he was discharged from the hospital. Why borrow trouble? Since his accident, she had been determined to take things one day at a time and not dwell on the future. It was less stressful that way.

So what if it looked as if they had to live apart for the time being? She assured herself that she could handle that. She could handle anything short of having to move back to the Circle-M until he recovered.

Six to eight weeks under his mother’s roof was more like several lifetimes of turmoil from where she was standing. After only two days back in her home, she didn’t want to so much as think about his mother’s place.

“I want you with me, Mandy. Nothing has changed. You gave me your word when we reconciled that we would both give our marriage a chance. I expect you to keep that promise.”

“What I promised was that you could stay with me, not the other way around.”

“I’m not about to argue with you. We have an agreement. And we’ve been closer than we’ve ever been before. I don’t want that to end, do you?”

“No, but—”

“Mandy, if you expect me to go back to the way it was with you in Denver and me on the ranch, you can forget it!” Even though he rested against the pillows in the upraised hospital bed, the strength of his personality hadn’t diminished. “We’ll only be at the ranch until I’m out of the cast and able to fly.”

“Who are you trying to kid?” She jumped to her feet. “We’re talking about a few months now, but when our year is over, we’ll be right back to this same dilemma.”

“For now, we’re talking about two months at the most.”

She saw the hurt in his eyes and couldn’t bear it. She found herself softening. She didn’t like him thinking that she did not want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.

“What if I came out on the weekends?” she reluctantly offered.

“Not good enough.”

“Why?”

“It’s not nearly enough. I need more, don’t you?” His voice had taken on a husky tone.

“You’re talking about sex,” she accused, fighting the sensual memories his last declaration provoked … memories of the two of them lost in sweet intimacy.

“That’s a part of it. I’m also talking about our commitment to each other.” His voice was gruff when he said, “I’m not asking for any less than I’m willing to give.”

She had no idea what to say. She felt as if she were trying to balance on a tightrope without a net. She couldn’t let him know how much he meant to her … how much she needed him in her life. Nor could she risk losing him. Being apart after the snowstorm had been downright painful … this past week had been no picnic, come to think of it.

“Zach, please. Don’t force me to decide now. I promised a year and I intend to keep that promise. Surely we can wait a few weeks to live together again. I promise I’ll come out for the weekends and when you’re able to travel—”

He interrupted, “If it’s not the ranch or my mother, what is it, Mandy?” He ran a hand over his hair in obvious frustration. “You don’t want to move back to Jake’s place. What in the hell is going on with you?”