THE SECRET WARMTH OF KITTY PACKESEL’S APARTMENT
In Metaphoria, taxi drivers consider the journey the destination. Maybe taxi drivers everywhere think this, but in Metaphoria they take it seriously. Every ride is a spiritual journey. In Metaphoria, taxi drivers do not ask ask where their fares want to go. They never start the meter and they never look in the rear-view mirror. They simply pull away from the curb and begin to drive like their fate depends on it. Charlie, who didn’t know any of this, was alarmed by how recklessly the cabbie was driving. His anxiety began to rise. He could feel himself start to shrink. Then the right side of the back seat tilted upward at a seventy-degree angle, causing Kitty to slide toward him. While this didn’t lower Charlie’s anxiety, it certainly captured his attention. Kitty looked at Charlie. She ran her fingers through his hair. She tilted her head slightly to the left. When their lips touched, the back seat reclined. The roof, doors, and windows disappeared as the taxi turned into a heart-shaped bed.
The deeper Charlie and Kitty kissed, the faster the bed travelled. Oncoming headlights became blurs of colour. Street lights were a single white streak. It started to snow. Snowflakes got caught in Charlie’s hair and the folds of Kitty’s dress. The snow began falling harder. They kissed deeper. The storm turned into a blizzard. Their hands were given free rein. Charlie climbed on top of Kitty.
‘Stop!’ Kitty said.
The cab had been travelling so quickly, and it stopped so suddenly, that Charlie became disoriented. He shook his head. Snow still clung to his eyelids and hair. Kitty rolled through the snow and off the heart-shaped bed. Charlie did the same. As the taxi raced away, it turned back into a regular car. Charlie looked around – strings of multi-coloured lights with burnt-out bulbs hung in every window. Mittenless children wearing T-shirts and jeans stood on the corner, singing ‘Silent Night.’ They sang as poorly as they were dressed for the weather. A man in a Santa suit bumped into Charlie, failed to look up, and drank from a mickey of rum as he staggered onward.
‘Where are we?’
Kitty pointed to a sign across the street.
THE SAD CHRISTMAS DISTRICT:
The Christmas you can never forget …
Thus prompted, Charlie noticed other things. Every living room he could see into held a Christmas tree, but all the trees were short and missing limbs, the sort of trees that would have been the last to sell. He counted four different men wearing threadbare suits and sitting on their front steps with their heads in their hands. Two of these men were sobbing. At the end of Kitty’s block, someone broke the passenger window of a parked car, gathered up the presents, and ran away.
‘Why do you live here?’
‘It reminds me of my childhood.’
Kitty stepped closer to Charlie, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and held him tightly. Charlie did the same to her. Several times Charlie thought Kitty was about to end their embrace. Each time she didn’t, he felt a significant portion of his loneliness leave his body and go into hers. At the same time, an equal amount of Kitty’s loneliness left her body and went into his. Charlie no longer felt the need to sleep with Kitty. He understood, with great clarity, that this was what all his casual sexual encounters had always been about. As the embrace continued, the door of Kitty’s building opened, and a strong winter wind lifted them and carried them up the stairs toward her apartment.
The door of Kitty’s apartment flew open. She and Charlie continued holding each other. They were just past the threshold, although still a metre above the floor, when the wind ceased to blow. It was not a graceful landing. They crashed onto the thick white carpet. The impact was severe. Both were knocked unconscious. They remained unconscious for some time.
Kitty was the first to recover. She got up and dimmed the lights, lit a fire and candles. She lay down beside Charlie and held him tightly. When he started waking up, she let him go. They smiled at each other as the radiators began clanging.
‘You have to go.’ Kitty stood. She straightened her clothes, took Charlie’s hand, and pulled him to his feet. Putting both of her palms back on his chest, she pushed Charlie toward the door.
‘Why? What?’ Charlie noticed that the room had suddenly become unbearably hot. Much more so than could be explained by the raging fire.
‘Now. Go.’
‘Is it the kissing? Because that doesn’t count. I wasn’t really kissing you. It wasn’t real kissing. I just wanted you to start trusting me because I want to ask you questions about Twiggy.’
‘Let’s just say it is.’
‘To be completely honest with you, I’m not just here because I’m sexually attracted to you. I mean, the truth, the complete truth, is that I’m recently divorced – well, not that recently – but still I’m pretty emotionally unavailable. Plus, I have this thing going on with a woman named Wanda who I really like. In fact, I actually love. And I think that kinda frightens me, that I love her. But what I’d really like to do is ask you more questions about Twiggy Miller. Can I do that? I mean, I think I’m in a terrible situation. Why am I being so honest?’
‘They heat my apartment with truth. If I’d realized it was so cold out, I would have insisted you leave.’
‘Are you trying to hide something?’
‘Who isn’t?’
‘Is it about Twiggy’s heart?’
‘They wouldn’t like it if I told you that.’
‘Who’s they?’
‘They wouldn’t like it if I told you that either.’
‘Do you know where his heart is?’
‘If you go after his heart, you will be putting yourself in terrible danger.’
‘If I don’t, the bomb in my chest explodes.’
‘I won’t betray his trust.’
‘Your loyalties are misplaced. You can do better than Twiggy.’
‘You really believe that?’
‘I don’t think either of us is capable of lying right now. Will you tell me where Twiggy’s heart is?’
‘The reason Shirley can’t find his heart is because he’s stored it outside of his body. At a place called Forever Yours, the most prestigious cardiac self-storage facility in Metaphoria, located at Pride and Power, deep in the Never-Ever-Enough District. Unit #117.’
‘How can I thank you?’
‘Tell me why you’re so sad.’
‘It was supposed to last forever.’
‘What was?’
‘My marriage.’
‘You’re caught in a myth, Charlie.’
‘Only one?’
‘Love isn’t this indestructible force. Love, like any human creation, ends. Those who can’t accept that are destined to live a lie.’
‘Even if that’s true, why didn’t mine last longer?’
‘Because that’s not the kind of love it was.’
‘But I wanted it to last forever.’
‘Why?’
Charlie had to think about that one. Several answers came immediately to mind, but he could not voice them because they weren’t true.
‘Because it hurts so much when it ends,’ he finally said.
‘Oh, Charlie. A love that lasts forever generates just as much, if not more, heartache, sorrow, and sadness as one that doesn’t.’ As Kitty spoke these words, she realized they were true.
‘Anything else you feel like sharing?’ Charlie asked.
‘I’m working with the W.B.C.’
‘The what?’
‘The White Blood Cells? You haven’t heard of us?’
‘I’m new in town.’
‘You need to be careful, Charlie. We know who you are. And we’re watching you.’
‘Jesus. What do you want?’
‘We want what everyone here wants.’
‘Which is?’
‘The full expression of the human heart! Because only the full expression of the human heart will lead to finding the purpose of the human heart!’
‘What is the purpose of the human heart?’
‘I used to think the purpose of the human heart was to make us so lonely that we reach out to each other. But, just now, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think that’s right anymore. The purpose of the human heart is to make us strong enough that we can reach out to each other!’
Kitty looked right at Charlie, but her eyes were focused on something invisible and very far away.
Poof!