Chapter 22
Lamar lay in bed, his head resting on folded arms, listening to the sound of sleet lashing the attic windows. He felt as if he’d become an unofficial member of Nydia’s family when the younger children were instructed by their parents to call him Uncle Lamar, a title with which he was more than familiar.
And he had to admit that the Santiago women were exceptional cooks. The presentation of the dishes lining two buffet servers were worthy of a photo shoot, and proved to be as delicious as appealing. Every morsel he’d put into his mouth exceeded his expectation, and he’d watched Kendra as she concentrated on eating rather than talking to Noemi or Brianna, both of whom had kept up a nonstop dialogue with each other. Conversations were conducted in English and in Spanish for the benefit of Kendra and Joaquin’s husband, who did not speak the language but had hired a Spanish-speaking nanny to care for their young sons.
Lamar sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp when he heard a soft tapping on the bedroom door. “Come in.” A smile tilted the corners of his mouth when Nydia poked her head through the slight opening.
“May I come in?”
“Of course you can.”
Lamar knew it was going to test whatever self-control he had left when interacting with Nydia for them to spend a week under the same roof and not be able to make love. She tiptoed across the carpet in a onesie and got into bed with him.
“Did you enjoy Christmas with the Santiagos?”
Draping an arm over Nydia’s shoulders, he pulled her closer. “Yes, I did, and I hope I’ll be invited back next year.”
Nydia glanced up at him. “Of course you’ll be invited back. Everyone loves you.”
“Does that include you, too?”
“Of course it does, Lamar. You claim to have a photographic memory, yet you forget that I’ve told you that I love you.”
He shook his head. “No, you haven’t.”
“I told you I love you the day we made love for the first time.”
“I think I remember now. Tell me again, sweets, because I never tire of hearing you say it.”
Nydia rested her hand over the one on her shoulder. “I love you, Lamar Pierce.”
Lamar buried his face in her hair, smiling when the floral-scented curls tickled his nose. “And I love you, Nydia Santiago.”
* * *
Nydia closed her eyes. She loved him and he loved her, and she knew sometime in the future their relationship needed to be resolved. Would they continue as lovers or commit to a future as husband and wife? And although she was more than fond of Kendra, Nydia’s intuition told her the girl did not want her to replace her mother.
She’d noticed the curious stares when Lamar’s presents were distributed and the tags read: “From Lamar, Nydia, and Kendra.” He’d given her parents tickets to next season’s New York Mets and Yankees subway series; her nephews were the recipients of gift cards to Game Stop; her nieces were overcome with emotion when they received gift cards for an Apple product of their choice. Sandra and Nelson also received gift cards, while her grandmother was overjoyed with her luxurious cashmere throw. Joaquin and his husband were the recipients of an exquisite Baccarat vase. Kendra was nearly overcome with emotion when she opened a small box and discovered a pair of diamond stud earrings from Nydia and Lamar. The young girl had been dropping hints that she wanted her ears pierced like many of the girls, and a few boys, at her school.
Nydia had noticed everyone watching her and Lamar when they exchanged gifts. He’d given her a pink gold Cartier bracelet, and she’d presented him with a Montblanc Meisterstück fountain pen, engraved with “L. A. Pierce.” “I think you spent too much money on gifts for everyone,” she said.
“Are you monitoring my checkbook?”
Nydia went completely still for several seconds before relaxing again. She heard the censure in Lamar’s voice. “No, I’m not. But—”
“But nothing,” he said, cutting her off. “Valerie and I never argued about money, and I don’t intend to begin with you.”
Nydia recoiled as if struck across the face. She did not want to believe he’d compared her to his dead wife. She pulled out of his embrace, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and stood. “You’re right, Lamar. Please forgive me for broaching the topic. Good night.”
Lamar scrambled out of the bed, his hand going around her upper arm and stopping her retreat. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You said it, Lamar, so you had to mean it. I want you to remember one thing about me, and that is I’m not your wife, and more importantly, I don’t want to compete with your dead wife. Now please let me go so both of us can get some sleep.”
“Nydia, don’t.”
“Now, Lamar.”
She left the bedroom, closing the door behind her, and went down to the first story and into the mother-in-law suite she shared with her grandmother. Nydia stared at the sleeping figure in one of the twin beds, hoping she hadn’t detected her absence. She lay atop the blankets on her bed and closed her eyes. Lamar had accused her of scrutinizing his expenditures when nothing could be further from the truth. When he’d asked if he could mail his purchases to her, and she’d suggested he send them to her parents’ home, Nydia was totally unaware of what he’d bought for whom because her mother had unpacked the boxes and placed the gift-wrapped packages under the tree.
When he’d mentioned he was going to give his daughter a pair of earrings, Nydia had no inkling he would indicate they would be from the both of them. Meanwhile, she’d given most family members gift cards in varying amounts for them to buy whatever they wanted, and those to whom she’d given gifts, she’d ordered them online. It had been more than seven years since she’d counted herself among the frantic shoppers waiting for stores to open to get what merchants were advertising as the best sales of the season. It stopped when a woman threatened to punch her because she’d picked up an item she wanted. Nydia gave the woman the jacket, walked out of the store, and vowed never to step foot in a store again to shop for Christmas gifts. So far, she had managed not to break that vow.
She did not want to argue with Lamar, yet she was realistic enough to know they could not agree on everything. Turning over on her side, she stared at the glow of the electric candle in the window through the fabric of the off-white, silk-lined drapes. The sound of her grandmother’s light snores and the rhythmic tapping of sleet against the windows had a calming effect that lulled her asleep.
* * *
“Why the long face, Nydia? You have a gorgeous and generous boyfriend, and in a few weeks you’ll be moving to a new city where you’ll become a partner in your own business. So why do you look as if you’ve lost your best friend?”
Nydia peered over the rim of her mug at her sister-in-law. She’d gotten up early to brew a cup of coffee and was surprised to find Sandra in the kitchen cutting up ingredients for omelets. “I had words with Lamar last night. It was after midnight, so it was this morning.”
Sandra gave her a sidelong glance. “What kind of words?”
She told Sandra what she’d said to Lamar and his response. “He’s wrong, Sandra, if he believes I’m watching his finances.”
Sandra’s hands stilled. “I don’t believe you, Nydia. You dated a man for years who couldn’t afford to take you across the George Washington Bridge to New Jersey, and now you’re involved with one who you can introduce to your family and is willing to spend his money—”
“Maybe he just wanted to impress everyone,” Nydia interrupted.
“Cut the bullshit!” Sandra said angrily. “The man stood in my kitchen less than twelve hours ago and confessed in front your mother, father, and grandmother that he loves you and will always protect you, so there’s no need for him to try and impress us. I’d dated your knuckleheaded brother almost a year and although he claimed he adored me he would not say that he loved me until he asked me to marry him. And you’ve known Lamar for how long?”
“Four months.”
Sandra shook her head. “You’re like so many girls I grew up with. They were so used to dating no-account men that when a good one came along they didn’t know how to relate to them. You have to take off your accountant’s hat and focus on your own bottom line and not concern yourself with Lamar’s. He’s a grown-ass man taking care of his daughter, while running his own company, which means he’ll continue doing that even if you decide to break up with him.”
“Who said anything about breaking up with him? I have no intention of losing Lamar.”
Sandra resumed dicing peppers and onions. “Are you saying if he proposed marriage you’d accept it?”
The query caught Nydia slightly off-guard. “I think it’s too soon to talk about marriage proposals.”
“I think not, Nydia. The man gives you a bracelet from Cartier’s when he probably wanted to give you a ring. And that little circle of pink gold costs a lot more than a lot of engagement rings. I know because one of the partners at my firm gave his wife that same bracelet for their twentieth anniversary. My paralegal went to the Cartier website to look it up, and she nearly fell off her chair when she saw the price tag. I’m not going to tell you how much he paid for it, but be prepared if he does propose marriage and gives you a ring.”
Nydia didn’t want to talk about proposals or engagement rings. Right now she had to get beyond her questioning Lamar about spending his money. She did not have to wait long before he walked into the kitchen, casually dressed in a white waffle-weave cotton pullover, relaxed jeans, and thick white socks. He smiled and winked at her, indicating he wasn’t angry.
* * *
“Buenos días.” Lamar brushed a light kiss over Nydia’s parted lips before he walked over and kissed Sandra’s cheek.
Sandra smiled up at him. “Good morning. It looks as if you and your girlfriend are early risers.”
Lamar rested a hip against the countertop. “I’m used to getting up early to share breakfast with my daughter, or to inspect a construction site. I can’t believe you’re cooking again after last night’s feast.”
Sandra brushed off mushroom caps with a damp paper towel. “Once you become a part of this family you should be prepared to gain at least five pounds or more whenever we get together to celebrate an event. There’s always an overabundance of food and good cheer.”
“Speaking of cheer, I think I imbibed too much coquito last night.”
Nydia nodded. “Abuelita was a little heavy-handed on the rum.”
Sandra wiped her hands on the towel tucked under the ties of her apron. “That’s because last year everyone complained that she didn’t add enough rum. If you guys want to eat now, I can start making breakfast for you.”
Nydia took Sandra’s hand and steered her around the cooking island to sit on one of the stools. “You’ve done enough cooking, so I’m going to assume the responsibility of making breakfast. The only thing you’ll have to take care of is making eggs.”
Lamar stood straight. “Is there anything I can help you with?” He had chided himself for insinuating Valerie into their disagreement because it was something he’d vowed he would never do, and he prayed he would never do it again.
Nydia nodded. “Come with me.”
He followed her across the expansive kitchen to the pantry. The many shelves were stocked with enough food to feed a large family for several months. It was obvious the Santiagos shopped in bulk. His stared at Nydia’s back as she opened a refrigerator and took out several packages of bacon, ham steaks, and a sleeve of country sausage meat.
“Can you handle this?” she said, placing them on his outstretched arms. Lamar pretended to be staggering under the weight. Nydia smiled. “That’s why I gave you the meat instead of the eggs.” Reaching into the fridge, she took out a carton of three dozen eggs and closed the door with her hip.
“Are you really going to cook all of this?” he asked.
“Yes. We’ll serve it buffet-style like in hotels. And once it’s gone, then that’s it. The slow folks will have to get whatever is left.”
Lamar moved closer to Nydia, blocking her attempt to reenter the kitchen. “I know it’s Christmas Day, but do you have anything planned for today?”
She glanced up at him through her lashes. “What are you thinking?”
“I was hoping we could borrow someone’s car and drive to Brooklyn so I can see the old neighborhood.”
A smile softened her mouth. “I think that’s a good idea. There probably won’t be that much traffic. I’ll ask Papi or Nelson because they have NYPD placards in their windshields.”
“If it’s all right with you, then we’ll leave after breakfast.” Even though he enjoyed Nydia’s large and boisterous extended family, he wanted to spend some quality alone time with her, even if it was for only five or six hours.
* * *
Nydia signaled and moved over into a lane on the RFK Bridge to an exit in Harlem rather than take the FDR Drive to downtown Brooklyn. When she’d told her father she was going to take Lamar to Brooklyn, he’d told her to take his car, and if she had the time to stop by the brownstone in Harlem to pick up his mail and check to see if the tenants needed anything. He’d been away from home for several days.
“I’m going to stop at my parents’ brownstone first, and then swing by my place to pick up my mail.”
Lamar stared at her profile. “How long have you been away?”
“Three days. Mami and I went up to White Plains early to shop and help Sandra cook.”
“You never told me that your sister-in-law was a lawyer.”
Nydia tapped lightly on the horn when the car in front of her father’s Infiniti didn’t move once the light changed from red to green. “Sandra has earned a reputation as a brilliant litigator who prepares most of her firm’s briefs. She recently negotiated with the senior partners to work from home two days a week, because she wants to spend more time with her daughters. She keeps in touch with the office with conference calls and videoconferencing.”
“Where’s her office?”
“It’s about four blocks from Grand Central Station. She parks in the White Plains commuter lot and takes the Metro North directly into Grand Central.”
“That’s really convenient. How did she and your brother meet?”
“They met during their sophomore year in college. She was just coming out of a toxic relationship with someone she’d dated for a while, and when Nelson asked her out she wanted nothing to do with him. It wasn’t until later that she admitted that he wore her down because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Nydia thought of her sister-in-a-law as a superwoman because she was pregnant during her first year in law school, delivered Brianna in June, and began her second year without missing a beat, delivered her second child during her third year, graduated number two in her class, and passed the bar on her first attempt.
Lamar rested his left hand on Nydia’s knee. “I really like your family.”
Nydia’s tinkling laugh filled the vehicle’s interior. “I think I’ll keep them.”
“If you don’t want them, then I’ll ask your parents to adopt me.”
Nydia sobered. “You like them and they really like you.”
“Your brother Joaquin and his husband invited Kendra and me to visit them in Omaha sometime over the summer.”
“So you really did bond with my family.” He removed his hand when she gave him a quick glance.
“You didn’t know? While the ladies were upstairs cooking, the men were having a bromance.”
“I guess that means I’ll have to keep you,” she teased.
“We’re in this together, sweets.”
Nydia wanted to tell Lamar now that they were sleeping together she also intended to see where their relationship would take them. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said after a comfortable silence. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful.”
Lamar reached over and massaged the nape of her neck. “I’m the one that should be apologizing for bringing up Valerie.”
“I can’t pretend that she never existed.”
“That’s true, but I don’t ever want her to come between us, Nydia. Valerie was the first woman I loved enough to want to marry, but when we exchanged vows I never could’ve imagined that we wouldn’t grow old together.”
“She may be gone, but you still have a part of her with Kendra.”
“That’s true,” Lamar agreed, “because she’s definitely her mother’s child in looks and temperament.”
“She’s a delight. I’ve really grown very close to her.”
“Close enough to assume the responsibility of becoming her mother?”
Nydia’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel in a death grip. Her heart was pounding so hard and fast she could hear it in her ears. “What are you asking?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I’m asking whether you would consider marrying me. I know we haven’t known each other that long and . . .”
“I don’t believe you, Lamar.”
“What don’t you believe?”
“You wait until I’m driving to propose marriage. What happened to going on one knee, or asking my father for his permission for my hand in marriage?”
“I did that already.”
Nydia’s foot hit the brake, and the car came to a screeching stop, causing other drivers to look at her as they sped past. “Dammit,” she swore under her breath.
“Pull over,” Lamar ordered. “I’ll drive.”
Checking her mirrors, she signaled and maneuvered into a bus stop. It took less than a minute for her to exchange seats with Lamar. He adjusted the driver’s seat to accommodate his longer legs and pulled out into traffic. “You’re going the wrong way,” she said when he made a left turn down a one-way street. “My parents live in West Harlem.”
“We’re going to your place, because we need to talk.”
* * *
Nydia didn’t realize her hands were shaking as she attempted to unlock her apartment door. During the ride across town she’d replayed Lamar’s proposal over and over in her head until it had become a litany that made her want to scream. She pushed open the door and walked in, Lamar following. Sitting on the bench seat, she slipped out of her jacket, kicked off her booties, and walked on sock-covered feet to the living room.
She didn’t want to believe he’d gone behind her back and asked her father if he could marry her, while she and Lamar had never talked about cementing their futures. Nydia wondered what was there about her that prompted men to assume just because they’d been intimate that she would automatically accept their marriage proposal without her input? She flipped a wall switch, turning on the table lamps in the living room. Boxes labeled with her name were stacked in a far corner.
* * *
Lamar bent down to unlace his Doc Martens, leaving them on the mat inside the door, and then took off his jacket. In a moment of madness he’d blurted out that he wanted Nydia to marry him without discussing the idea with her beforehand. He did not know why, but there were instances when his confidence waned and he feared losing her.
He followed Nydia into the living room and stared at her ramrod-straight back as she looked out the window. Closing the distance between them, he rested his hands at her waist. She was still, so still that she could’ve been a statue. “Please, come and sit so we can talk.”
Nydia rounded on him, her eyes giving off green sparks. “Now you want to talk? What happened to you talking to me before you went to my father?” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Do you realize you’re like Danny? You both blindside me with marriage proposals. The only difference is you discussed it with my father. Danny would’ve never approached Papi because he knew he didn’t like him.”
Lamar cradled her face between his palms. He hated seeing Nydia vulnerable and close to tears. Lowering his hands, he swept her up in his arms, carried her into the bedroom, and placed her on the bed, his body following hers down.
Burying his face in her curls, Lamar pressed a kiss to Nydia’s scalp. “It was your father who asked me about us, and I was truthful when I told him I was in love with you and wanted to marry you. That’s when he gave me his approval, but only with the proviso that I protect you.”
“Why didn’t we talk about this before?”
“And if I had, what would you’ve said?”
“I would’ve told you that it’s too soon to talk about getting married. And I also would’ve asked if you’d discussed it with Kendra. Have you, Lamar?” Nydia asked when he hesitated.
“No,” he answered truthfully. “I told you before, I’m not going to allow my daughter to control or monitor my life. She knows that I like you and she appears okay with that.”
“That’s not enough, Lamar. If I’m going to marry you, then I’ll have to step into the role of her mother. It’s been only the two of you for the past four years, and she may not like having to share her father.”
“I promise to talk to her just before we announce our engagement. Right now I need to know if you will consider becoming my wife sometime in the future.”
Nydia moved closer to him. “I’m glad you said in the future. Once I move to New Orleans and we spend more time together you just might change your mind.”
“I doubt that, sweets. I knew the first time I laid eyes on you that you were special.”
Nydia rubbed her nose against his cheek. “More special than those other women you were—”
Lamar placed his hand over her mouth, stopping her words. “Please don’t, Nydia. Since meeting you I haven’t touched or looked at another woman.” He removed his hand. “Once I commit I’m all in. Like this,” he whispered, pressing a light kiss on the bridge of her nose.
Nydia smiled. “Do you know what I forgot to do?”
Lamar exhaled an inaudible sigh of relief. He had expected Nydia to go off on him. It seemed to her that he’d assumed that she’d jump at the opportunity to share his life because she’d admitted to being in love with him and because of how easily she’d bonded with his daughter.
Thankfully he had been given a reprieve, because they had been able to talk it out, and he knew if or when they did marry and live together, they would be able to discuss their problems without resorting to drama or hysterics.
His eyes caressed her face as if making love to her. “What is it, my love?” He gasped when her hand slipped under his shirt and unbuttoned the waistband on his jeans.
Springing up with the agility of a cat, Nydia straddled him. “I have to show you how much I like my Christmas present, because words would not be enough.”
Lamar bit back a smile. “I take it you like your bracelet.” He’d wanted to buy her a ring, but he didn’t know her ring size, and at the last moment he knew it wasn’t something he wanted to give her with her family as an audience. Once she accepted his proposal and ring, he wanted that to be a private moment between just them. “What are you going to do?”
“You’ll see,” she said, undoing his fly.
Lamar gasped. She released his penis from his boxers and going to her knees, took it into her mouth. He hardened quickly and feared ejaculating in her mouth instead of inside her. Now that she was taking an oral contraceptive he did not have to use a condom, and without the barrier of latex their lovemaking had become even more intense.
“No!” he bellowed. But Nydia did not stop. Lamar anchored his hands under her armpits and extricated her mouth from his erection. He reversed their positions and managed to undress himself and then Nydia in record time.
He was much slower in arousing her, as it was his turn to use his mouth and tongue to bring her to the point of climaxing. Her breath was coming faster as moans slipped past her compressed lips. Lamar hardened again, and both sighed in unison as he eased his erection inside her.
If Lamar had doubted his love for Nydia, he knew now what he felt for her was so good, so real, that he believed he had just entered an alternate universe where fantasy and reality merged and from which he did not want to escape.
* * *
As Nydia surrendered all she was and all she had to Lamar, she felt as if she were floating beyond herself. Making love with Lamar had stripped her bare, leaving her naked, vulnerable, and afraid he would break her heart. She loved him just that much.
Since meeting Lamar she had come to realize what true love was, and it had changed her inside and out. She was more patient and willing to listen. At first Nydia attributed it to becoming more mature, that at thirty-three she couldn’t continue to conduct herself the way she had even a year ago. So many things had happened to her in a year: she’d been downsized; had gone into business for herself keeping the books for small businesses; had undergone surgery for a life-threatening infection, and she was now legally an innkeeper.
She had also unexpectedly fallen in love with a man she did not want to love because of her past track record of relationships that ended with deceit and disappointment. But somehow Lamar had wound his way under the barriers she had erected to keep men out of her life and bed with his unabashed honesty and the ease with which he was able to apologize and accept blame for his actions.
Nydia wrapped her arms around his back and legs around his hips as she arched to get even closer as the contractions in her vagina grew stronger and stronger until she gave in to the orgasms that held her captive before releasing her until another gripped her, this one even stronger than the last, until she dissolved in an ecstasy that shattered her into a million little pieces. She and Lamar returned from their simultaneous free-fall at the same time, and laughter shook them until they struggled to catch their respective breaths.
“What are you doing to me?” she whispered in his ear.
“Loving your life, babe. I can’t wait until we can go to bed and wake up together.”
Nydia kissed his ear. “It’s going to happen,” she said confidently.
“Do you want a long or short engagement?”
“I think I’d like a rather short one.”
“How short, sweets?”
“Probably about six months. Anything longer would make me crazy. I want something very simple with just friends and family.”
“Would you want to hold it here or in New Orleans?”
A beat passed. “New Orleans. I’d like to hold it in the garden at the DuPont Inn. Of course the Toussaints will do the catering, and we can spend our wedding night in the bridal suite at the Louis LaSalle.”
Lamar breathed a kiss on her scalp. “That sounds good. What about a honeymoon?”
“Have you even been to Puerto Rico?”
“No.”
“Even though it’s still recovering from Hurricane Maria, we can help the economy if we honeymoon there.”
“I’m willing to go along with whatever you want. I believe in the expression: happy wife, happy life.”
“You may come to regret those words.”
“I doubt that.”
Lamar rolled off Nydia, lay beside her, and threaded their fingers together. The minutes ticked into an hour before they got up, shared a shower, and then left the apartment.