So the sly old necromancer
Toddles off and leaves me standing,
And his spirits all must answer
At my will and my commanding.
I have marked his actions,
Studied every spell,
And his strong projections
I can work as well.
Hubble-bubble
To each quarter
Let the water
Rush and flow;
And its surging flood redouble,
Rich and gushing high and low.
So, old broomstick, monkey-punky,
Clothe yourself with scarecrow tatters.
All these years you’ve been a flunky,
Now it’s me in charge of matters.
Make two legs to scurry,
Now a head you’ve got.
Get a move on! Hurry!
Fetch the waterpot!
Hubble-bubble
To each quarter
Let the water
Rush and flow;
And its surging flood redouble,
Rich and gushing high and low.
See, he’s running to the river,
There already! What a fellow!
And like lightning, quick as ever,
He is back with gush and billow.
Now the basin’s brimming;
Off again he goes!
Pots and pans are swimming,
Bathtub overflows!
Stop it, stop it!
Yes, you’re tough!
Drop it, drop it,
That’s enough!
Oh, I knew it! Bloody hell!
I have just forgot the spell!
Yes, the spell!—that unbewitches
Any magical disaster!
Still he dashes and he fetches!
Please, be just the same old duster!
Now the flood is brimming
All around the walls,
Oooh, I’m almost swimming
In these waterfalls!
I must grab him,
No more waiting,
So I’ll nab him—
Ouch! That’s cheating!
Oh, that look he gave was scary!
Spawn of Hell, you water-devil,
Would you let the whole house drown?
Every sill and every level
Pours with water streaming down.
What a wicked doom-stick,
That will not obey!
You were once a broomstick—
Wish you’d stayed that way!
Misbegot,
Now you’ll catch it!
You’ll be caught,
I’ve a hatchet:
If you’re never going to stop,
Your old wood is for the chop.
Here he comes, still at his schlepping.
Hah, I’ll knock you on your back!
Goblin, then you’ll stop your hopping—
Meet this keen blade with a crack!
Nice hit! It’s a double!
See, he’s cut in two!
There’ll be no more trouble,
I can breathe now. Phew!
No, oh no!
Both halves rise!
Oh, they grow
Their former size,
Ready to serve up more showers!
Help, oh help, you higher powers!
Off they scamper! Rushing, splashing,
Wetness pours down hall and stairs,
Dreadful floods of water crashing!
Lord and master! Hear my prayers!
Blessings! Here’s the Master
I called the spirits’ aid,
They caused this disaster—
Help! They won’t be laid!
“To the corner,
Broom, and broom!
Take your former
Shape and room.
Only the old master may
Call you—and only to his way.”
1797