With my aforementioned aversion to adventure, trekking, and all things wanderlust, you’d think I hate trying new things. And until recently I would have agreed with you. I too thought I hated trying new things until we lived by a book called Year of Yes.
Year of Yes follows TV writer and producer Shonda Rhimes’s yearlong journey to say yes to everything that came her way after her sister told her she said no to everything.
The book digs into some of the reasons and excuses that Shonda gave for so long for saying no—from social anxiety to fear of embarrassment to simply being an introvert. And it shows how saying yes can help make life more enjoyable in the long run, and is in fact a necessary part of growing, learning, and becoming a better person.
Living by Year of Yes was a pure joy for Kristen and me. We each said yes in our own ways, and it enhanced both of our lives. I said yes to coffee with a new friend, hosting a party, hosting a women’s networking event, and getting a foot rub. I even said yes to dressing my dog up as a squirrel and taking him to a costume parade.
Kristen said yes to spending time with loved ones when she made the effort to see a friend who was in town from London. They caught up on each other’s lives, spotted a Real Housewife of New York out on the town (hint for you Housewives fans: Turtle Time), and since her friend is a freelance podcast host and she had just transitioned to freelancing, he ended up giving her some great advice on next steps. His input led to Kristen saying yes to starting a freelancer club so she didn’t lose her mind with boredom while learning to work in a less social environment.
One of the coolest things about living by Year of Yes has come in the form of the slow realization that I’m actually kind of good at saying yes to new things. (Duh, I literally cohost a podcast where I try new things every two weeks!) In fact, saying yes to something new is how basically everything I love has come into my life. Saying yes to taking one storytelling class is how I eventually found my way into doing stand-up comedy. Saying yes to hanging out with a goofy acquaintance is how I ended up married to Brad. I bet if you look back at your life, you’ll see there are lots of badass, brave yeses you’ve said to new things that took you places you never imagined you’d go. That’s very cool, if you ask me.
You can even say yes when things feel out of control; Kristen is the perfect example of this. Right before we started living by Year of Yes, Kristen was informed that the podcasting company that employed her full-time was shutting down and she was about to be unemployed. This time was hell for her. But saying yes to new things here and there helped her make the most out of a less than ideal situation. She said yes to asking for help and sent emails to freelancer friends in the industry whom she admires asking if she could meet up with them and get advice. She found a community for herself and created a freelancer coworking club with a few friends.
Kristen also worked on her brand. She plugged her website like a beast and submitted herself for speaking engagements and podcast guest spots. She threw herself into saying yes to every new thing that she could think of or that came her way. And in doing so, she turned getting fired into embarking on her kick-ass solo career. Within months of being fired and all the new things that came with that, Kristen was hosting a podcast at a new company, guest-hosting others, and even writing her own book, So You Want to Start a Podcast; so she had a lot to say yes to.
Since we read Year of Yes, I’ve started being able to see my life as a series of brave choices to try new things. And if trying new things usually leaves me feeling like I’ve got a list of badass accomplishments in my wake, then I guess I’m pretty into trying new things. As long as those new things aren’t trekking; I still say no to that . . . (Sorry, Brad).