Ten

Guthrie seemed to change by the hour, with tents giving way to frame buildings, and some of those beginning to give way to brick ones now that the brickyard had opened up. Supplies streamed in on trains and by freight wagons, and there was beginning to be some semblance of order.

Daily fights still erupted over claims, and Faith was surprised that Jarvis hadn’t shown back up with the law, but she thanked the Lord daily and prayed that he never would.

It did her heart good to see grocery stores, drug stores, shoe stores, and even furniture stores popping up all over. Most still in tents, but others already in frame buildings. Faith felt part of something new and wonderful, and she was glad to call Guthrie home. She couldn’t wait to open up her boardinghouse.

The surveyors had come and gone, deciding that Faith’s and Gabe’s lots were both fine, but the lot next to Faith’s was now part of a street. The settler was none too happy to be told he had to relocate.

“Why is it me whose got to move? Why not her?” The settler pointed at Faith.

“Sorry, mister,” the deputy said. “But the town was laid out in advance of the run, and you’re in the middle of the street. There’s nothin’ we can do about it.”

The settler spit onto the street and muttered a string of expletives but finally began to gather up his things, shooting dark looks at Faith all the while.

Faith thanked the Lord daily that Ben had put claim to the lot they were on.

With her lot now on a corner, it would be an even better location for a boardinghouse. And finally, Faith knew she lived on the edge of the city proper of Guthrie, on the corner of Noble and Second streets.

Her lot wasn’t far from Cottonwood Creek, which would make it easy to water a garden until a well could be dug to bring water to the house. They’d moved the wagon to the front of the lot—farthest from the corner—to allow easy access for the wagons bringing in supplies, and Gabe and Ben had leveled the land and were close to beginning to frame the house. They’d built an outhouse out back, but once the house was done, there’d be a real bathroom. Actually there’d be two—one upstairs and one downstairs, just for her. Faith still found that hard to believe.

She was so excited she could barely get her work done for either watching everything the men were doing or poring over the Montgomery Ward catalog she’d unearthed from her trunk. Her days were filled with decisions—those Gabe required of her in the building of the boardinghouse and the ones she must make about the furnishings. She hadn’t had a chance to look at any of the furniture stores, but hopefully there would be an even better selection by the time she was ready to make her purchases.

She’d been debating whether to put an advertisement in the Oklahoma State Capital, the first newspaper in the newly claimed land, and she brought the subject up as they sat down to supper.

“You could probably just put out a sign on the street and have plenty of people ask to be placed on your waiting list,” Ben said.

Gabe agreed. “I’m surprised no one has approached you about it yet. We’ve had a lot of people watching us the last few days.”

“Well, more’n likely they just think we’re building a home,” Ben said.

“Ben’s right,” Faith said. “The only person I’ve told about the boardinghouse is Amy Littleton, and she’s so busy with the new baby that she probably hasn’t told anyone but John.”

Gabe took a swig of coffee and nodded. “He came to see me the other day and asked if I’d draw up plans similar to the one-story project you showed his wife. I’ve been working on them and planned to take them over after supper. Thank you for the good recommendation.”

“I didn’t have to do anything but show Amy your plans. She liked them all as much as I did and asked if I thought they could approach you to draw up some for them. I told her she should get on your list fast.”

“Well so far, they are the only ones on the list.”

“Maybe you should put out a sign, too,” Faith suggested.

“Maybe so.”

“You know, I think I heard that the Oklahoma State Capital does all kinds of printing besides the newspaper. Might want to see if they can get those signs made up,” Ben suggested.

“I think we should!” Faith clapped her hands together.

“You could have a contest to see who gets the most names on their waiting list,” Matt suggested.

“Sounds like fun,” Gabe said.

“It does. Let’s do it,” Faith said.

❧

Their signs went up the next afternoon, and by suppertime Faith had ten names on her list. Gabe had eight, and he didn’t care if he ever caught up to her. She was getting more excited by the day.

Gabe had brought over the supplies list, and she’d gone to the bank that day to have the first of the money transferred into his account. He and Ben would be starting the framing soon. It was hard to believe they’d been here nearly a month already.

Faith had invited the Littletons to join them for supper, and Gabe looked forward to talking to them about their plans.

He and Ben had made a table and bought a few chairs, so when the Littletons joined them, everyone could gather around for the meal Faith was preparing for them.

Gabe couldn’t help but notice that Faith had a hard time taking her eyes off the couple’s newborn as Mrs. Littleton placed her in Faith’s arms. He had to admit Lily was a pretty baby. But it was the longing in Faith’s eyes as she cuddled the child that caught Gabe’s attention.

She wanted a child of her own, and that realization had his heart tightening in his chest and reminded him that his past wasn’t the kind a woman wanted in the man she married. But suddenly Faith thrust the baby back into Mrs. Littleton’s arms, saying she thought something was burning. It was as if she suddenly couldn’t bear to hold the baby, and Gabe wondered why. . . .

“We’ve made a decision about the plans you drew up for us, Mr. Logan,” John Littleton said.

Gabe pulled his gaze from Faith and turned to the man. “Please, just call me Gabe. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other if I’m going to build your home.”

“Gabe, then. And I’m John.”

“All right, John. Which plan have you chosen?” Gabe wasn’t surprised when the man pulled out the same one-story drawing that he’d drawn up for Faith. It was a good plan and would work for this young couple. “Are there any changes you want?”

“Only a few.” The man looked over at his wife and child. “Amy liked the sitting room you gave Faith and thought she’d like one, too. First as a nursery and then, as our children grow, as a sitting room for us.”

The love the man had for his wife shone from his eyes, and Gabe’s gaze strayed to Faith. How wonderful it would be to—

“Will that be a problem, Gabe?” John drew his attention back to where it belonged.

“No problem at all. In fact that’s a very good idea. All it will really take is for me to put a pocket door between your room and the one next to it.”

“That’s what we thought. Amy will be thrilled when I tell her.”

“Please call her over, and we’ll see what else she might want that she hasn’t told you.”

As Faith finished preparing supper with Hope’s help, Gabe and the Littletons put the final touches on their house plan, with several suggestions from Ben and Matt.

Gabe felt a certain amount of security knowing that he’d have a paying job coming in soon. He had no intention of charging Faith for his labor. Wouldn’t have even if he weren’t going to have a place to stay while he worked on his own place. But it was good to feel that he’d be able to begin making a living in this new place he called home.

As they all sat down to eat, Ben said grace. “Father, we thank You for this new life You’ve given us, for the friends You’ve brought into our lives, and for all the possibilities You’ve put before us. Please watch over us, and guide us each day to do Your will. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

As Gabe listened to Ben’s prayer, he felt as if the Lord had given him a new beginning here in Guthrie, with people he felt would be lifelong friends and an opportunity to heal from the pain of the past. He felt blessed.

Suddenly, he realized it’d been a long time since he’d talked to the Lord. Really talked to Him. Oh he’d sent up an occasional thank you here and there, but he’d spent more than a little time angry because of Laura’s death and all that happened after it, and he’d felt that the Lord had turned His back on him.

But Gabe knew He hadn’t. He’d been there all the time—getting him through it all, staying with him when Gabe didn’t know if he could or even wanted to go on. Gabe only now realized just how much he’d missed his daily talks with the Lord, and he resolved right then and there never to miss a day again.

Faith, Ben, and the children had been going to church since the first one opened its doors. Maybe he’d join them on Sunday.

As they enjoyed the meal, they talked about Guthrie and how the town government was coming together, how Oklahoma Territory would surely become the next state in the Union.

“This town of ours will most likely become the capitol, don’t you think?” John asked.

“I’d say it’s a good possibility, from what the papers are saying. Of course Oklahoma City is wanting it bad, too,” Ben said.

“That’s true. But I think Guthrie has the best chance between the two,” Gabe said. He’d been trying to keep up with the news at night. Once he went back to his tent, he didn’t have much else to do but read the papers or draw up house or building plans—and try to quit thinking about Faith. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle that once they were under the same roof. He looked over to find her eyes on the Littletons’ baby once more, and the look in her eyes had his heart hurting for her.

She’d make a wonderful mother, and Gabe couldn’t help but wonder why she’d never had children. Had she lost a child? There’d never been any mention of it, but the look in her eyes. . . It made Gabe want to hold her in his arms until the hurt in them went away.

Once the Littletons took their leave, Faith seemed to relax, convincing Gabe that it was a baby she longed for.

“They are going to try to join us for church in the morning,” Faith said. She caught Gabe looking at her and said, “We’d love to have you join us, too. We leave here soon after breakfast.”

Was he ready to return to church? He wasn’t sure. “I’ll sleep on it.”

Faith’s eyes lit up, and she smiled. “You do that.”

He smiled back. If going to church with her would dispel the sadness in her eyes, he’d go for her. . .and for himself.

❧

Faith got ready for church the next morning, trying to put her dreams out of her head. She’d tossed and turned most of the night. In one dream, she was holding a baby, and a feeling of completeness had washed over her. In the next dream, the baby was being taken away from her, and the emptiness of her arms had her waking in tears.

She knew the dreams had been brought on by holding Amy’s little one in her arms and by the longing it stirred up in her. But somehow, some way, she had to accept that she would never have a child of her own. For whatever reason, the Lord had decided that she wasn’t to have children, and she had to accept His will.

Instead of feeling sorry for herself, Faith needed to thank the Lord for the blessings she did have. She had family that loved her, and she had new friends in her life. She’d be able to see Amy and John’s daughter grow up, even if she couldn’t have a child of her own. She was going to open a boardinghouse. She was—

“Ready, Faith?” Ben called from outside the wagon.

“I’m ready.” Hope had cleaned up after breakfast but still was finished dressing long before Faith, and now everyone waited for her. Faith hurried out and took Ben’s helping hand to climb down.

“Are you alright, sis? You were awful quiet at breakfast.”

“I’m fine.” And she would be. It was a beautiful Sunday, and she would think on all the good things in her life and rejoice in them.

When she saw Gabe striding over in their direction, her heart warmed because he was taking her up on the invitation to join them.

“Thought I’d join you in church this morning,” he said.

Her heart did a triple flip as he smiled at her, and Faith was glad when Ben answered for her.

“We’d be glad for you to join us. It’s the best way to start a week that I know of.”

Gabe only nodded as he fell into step beside them. Faith had wondered if he would ever go to church with them, and now that he was, her heart felt about ready to burst with joy.

Faith never thought any other man would be able to claim her heart after her Noah, but Gabe Logan seemed to be making his own place. And she couldn’t let that happen. It would only serve to bring heartache—for she would never marry again.

It wasn’t as if she were a normal widow who could give a man a child. In the two years she and Noah had been married, she’d never conceived. It had caused so much strain between them that their marriage hadn’t been what it had started out to be. Noah had said it didn’t matter, but she knew that it did. Even if he did love her, he was disappointed that she couldn’t conceive. His parents had made that very clear after his death. She’d never forget his mother saying, “Noah always wanted a houseful of children, and you couldn’t even give him one!”

Faith couldn’t go through that pain again. She must learn to be content with what she had and not let herself start yearning for something that could never be.

❧

Gabe knew he’d pleased Faith by going to church with them. He’d seen it in her eyes and the welcoming smile she’d given him. But a hint of sadness shadowed her eyes this morning, and she’d been quiet ever since breakfast. He couldn’t help but wonder what was bothering her.

The church was still meeting in a tent, but the members had made or brought in benches, and Gabe didn’t have a chance to feel awkward as the singing began before they could take a seat. It wasn’t until he sat down that he realized Ben had gone in first, then his children and Faith. Gabe sat down beside her and tried to keep up with the singing. But it’d been awhile since he’d gone to church, and he couldn’t quite remember all the words.

Faith nudged him and offered to share her hymnal. He smiled down at her and took hold of the left side of the book while she held the right side. The Littletons joined them in their row of benches, and after they’d all moved closer to give them room, he and Faith were standing close as any married couple in the church. Gabe’s chest tightened at her nearness.

He had to admonish himself to pay attention when the preacher began his sermon, and after a few minutes, it wasn’t hard. The man spoke to Gabe’s heart, talking about the new start everyone was making in Guthrie. He reminded them all that it could also be a new beginning with their relationship to the Lord, quoting Paul from Philippians: “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.”

Gabe bowed his head and silently asked the Lord to forgive him for blaming Him for Laura’s death, for drawing away from Him. He asked for help to grow closer to Him, and to go on in this new place God had brought him to. It was a new start, and it was time he put the past behind and pressed on.

By the time the preacher ended his sermon, the invitation was issued, and the last song was sung, Gabe was glad they’d come in early. He turned and saw people standing in the aisles all the way around the tent.

As they made their way outside, stopping to talk to a few people they’d met, Gabe had an idea. It was time he paid back Ben and his family for their hospitality. Once they were outside, he turned to Faith and Ben. “Say, I’d like to treat you all for Sunday dinner. There are several restaurants open in town. Don’t know how good they are, but I’d sure like to take you all to one.”

“Oh please, can we?” Hope asked. “Aunt Faith deserves a break once in a while.”

“My thought exactly,” Gabe said.

“That okay with you, sis? You haven’t started anything yet, have you?”

“Actually, I haven’t. And we’d be glad to take you up on your offer, Gabe. I wonder if we can find the Millers’ restaurant.”

“The Millers? Seems like I’ve heard of that one or seen a sign,” Gabe said. “Are they friends of yours?”

“Well, we don’t know them all that well, but we met them the first night we camped. They were very nice and hoped to open a restaurant here.”

“Let’s see if we can find it, then.”

“I think I remember seeing a sign up this way.”

Ben took off, walking between his two children, leaving Gabe and Faith no choice but to follow them. Gabe lightly grasped Faith’s elbow to help guide her down the uneven street and was pleased when she smiled up at him.

So much for telling himself he wasn’t going to let himself care about this woman. He cared. Plain and simple. All the warnings he’d given himself had been for naught. Gabe’s feelings for Faith were growing stronger with each passing day. It appeared he had no control of his heart, and there didn’t seem to be a thing he could do about it except live with it and accept the fact that he’d never have a future with her because of his past.