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A COOL BREEZE CARESSED Soleil’s skin as she peered at Alex from behind the wide trunk of a tree. He stood on the porch of a small cabin, talking with an older African man who rocked back and forth with the slow, easy movements of someone who had nowhere else to be.
His arms hung over an axe draped across his shoulders. A howl of laughter pealed through the air as they shared an amusing moment. The two men shook hands before Alex walked down the porch stairs and onto the worn path between his tenants’ small cabins.
With a deep breath to gather her courage, Soleil stepped from behind the tree and trotted toward Alex. “Mr. Cummings.”
Alex halted, turning to face Soleil and waiting as she approached.
As she took in his blank expression, she stumbled a bit, losing confidence in her plan. But she had come with a purpose, she reminded herself. Gathering her skirts and straightening her spine, she strode forward with renewed confidence until they were face to face. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. You have done so much for me and Hope, and my behavior was ungrateful and rude. It was uncalled for, and unacceptable. For that I apologize.”
“Your apology is not necessary. My questions were intrusive. I should not have asked.”
“Yes, James is Hope’s father. He...”
“No.” Alex raised a hand to cut off the rest of her sentence. “You don’t have to tell me any more. In fact, I must admit I do not wish to hear the rest of the story.”
“Again, I apologize.” Soleil kept her hands clasped in front of her, head bowed and eyes on the ground.
“Look at me.” Maybe she was imagining it, but his voice held a note of irritation.
Soleil lifted her eyes to do as he said.
“Once, you called me every mean name you could think of because of how I treated a baby calf. I deserved every name you called me and then some. As I sat listening to you put a sailor to shame, I don’t think I could have been more in awe of you. You were so passionate in your righteous indignation, and all for a cow. But that was who you were. Willing to come to the aid of any creature, no matter how insignificant others thought them to be.”
With the fluid grace of a lazy southern river, Alex lifted his hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn’t control her body’s slight flinch as his hand reached out to her, but she did not cower from his touch. “Never apologize to me or anyone else for being who you are. If anyone should apologize, it should be me. I can only imagine the pain and suffering you must have endured these past few years. It is an excruciating torture to know that my little flower had to blossom amongst thorns. My greatest sorrow is that I was not there to shield you from it. I failed you in the most basic way. The night...” Alex choked on the words. “The night you disappeared, I should have stayed with you. That’s what a man does for the woman he loves.”
Soleil didn’t realize tears had fallen from her eyes until Alex’s thumb wiped away the moisture from her cheek. “I don’t... I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to respond. I know you don’t remember me or us, but not a day has passed that I have not loved you. Your passion, your sacrificing heart, even your temper are all part of the wonderful woman you are, and I would not change any of it.”
Soleil’s heart began a rapid, erratic beat in her chest. Everything in her screamed that this wasn’t true, that he could not really love her. Yet, looking into his eyes, she saw only truth. Fear and hope warred for control inside her. Did she dare believe his words and the truth shining in his eyes? What would such belief cost her?
“It is okay if you do not believe me. One day I will prove myself to you. I simply feel blessed that I have been given a second chance.” Alex stepped back to give Soleil space. “And as my first order to win your favor, I have a very special surprise for you. You will receive it tonight at dinner.”
“A surprise? I... What...”
“You shall see soon enough. Now, I have a few more tenants to see to. Please go and enjoy the rest of the day. I know Hope would love for you to join in her play.”
Soleil cleared her throat to help regain control of her voice. “Before you leave, I also wanted to speak with you about my chores.”
“You are barely recovered from a very serious wound. Please do me the favor of resting.”
“Why do I have a feeling you are simply trying to placate me, and have no intention of allowing me to contribute to the household?”
Alex smirked. “Because apparently, despite your lapse in memory, you still know me very well. Besides, I have a feeling that one day you will be a very important, contributing member of this household—in different ways.”
Soleil did not mistake the meaning of his words. She had seen desire in a man’s eyes, and his were ablaze with it. For a moment she allowed herself to think about what it would be like to be swollen with his child, standing by his side as his wife. But just as quickly she tamped the fantasy down.
Breaking their locked gaze, Soleil took a step backward. “Yes, well in that case, I will not press the subject. I will go check on Hope.”
“Excellent. I know she will enjoy it. And maybe you will tire her out enough that I only have to be a pony once tonight.”
“If she is ever too much...”
“Never. It is truly my pleasure to spend time with her. I will see you both at dinner tonight.”
Soleil mustered a small smile. “Yes, we will see you then.” She turned on her heels and walked toward the door to search out her daughter as thoughts of what she would wear to dinner floated through her mind. She had the unshakable urge to look her best tonight.
~*~
SOLEIL AND HOPE WALKED down the stairs hand in hand. She touched her hair for the millionth time to check that all her curls were still in their proper place. She had pulled them into a single braid tied off with a ribbon. It was a simple hairstyle that did not live up to the grandeur of her beautiful evening gown, but it was the best she could do. She often found herself wondering why on Earth she had never learned to take care of her own hair in her youth. What had stopped her from learning such a vital skill? The mere thought of fixing her hair sent chills down her spine.
Satisfied her hair was as it should be, she ran her hand down her gown to smooth the nonexistent wrinkles. Caring about her appearance was a new—and not all that pleasant—feeling. Why did she care what Alex thought of her? She knew why, but wouldn’t admit it, even to herself. Instead, she allowed herself to believe she wanted to show appreciation for his gifts.
When she had come back to her room from playing with Hope, two beautiful aqua blue dresses had been laid across her bed, one a miniature replica of the other. At first she was so stunned, she stopped in her tracks.
It wasn’t until Hope ran into the room squealing with joy that she was able to come to her senses. “Look, Maman. Look! My dress is so pretty. Did Alex give them to us?”
The excitement pouring from her daughter was contagious, and Soleil found herself wanting to laugh. She didn’t even want to risk dampening her daughter’s joy by correcting the way she addressed Alex. “Yes, mon amour, he did.”
“Can I wear it now?”
Soleil reached to pick up her own dress and saw the note lying next to it. It read, Please wear to dinner. “You can wear it at dinner tonight. We must first bathe so that we do not ruin the pretty dresses with dirt.”
“I don’t want to ruin my dress,” Hope said in distress. “Bath now, please.”
Soleil couldn’t help but laugh at her daughter’s exuberance. She had never been so willing to bathe before. But then again, it probably wasn’t as much of an imposition now that they could take warm baths in the slipper tub instead of the cold wash-downs at the basin that they were used to. Not wanting thoughts of the past to dampen the cheer of the moment, Soleil pushed them aside to begin the process of making Hope and herself presentable.
~*~
ALEX STOOD OUTSIDE the closed dining room doors, waiting as they approached. Soleil immediately noticed how handsome he looked in his evening finery. As soon as Hope saw him, she pulled free of her mother’s grasp and ran up to him, arms wide. With little effort, Alex caught her in his arms as she launched herself at him.
"Thank you for my pretty dress. I love it."
"You are most welcome. I am glad you like it. It is a beautiful color on you. Both of you,” he said as he turned his smile from Hope to Soleil.
Soleil couldn't help the slight blush that spread across her cheeks. Unable to meet his gaze, she concentrated on her clasped hands in front of her. "Thank you. The dresses are quite beautiful, and I greatly appreciate your generosity. But I am curious why we are so formally dressed for a simple dinner at home."
"In honor of your return I have organized a wonderful surprise, and I am sure you will want to look your best when you receive it. Come now, let us not delay any longer."
Alex threw the doors wide open, stepping aside for Soleil to proceed him. She stepped inside, her eyes roaming the room until they landed on a couple standing in front of the ornate wooden dining table. The woman had a fiery crop of red hair and a face that seemed familiar and yet unknown to her.
An audible gasp escaped the woman’s lips. “It is you!”
Soleil watched in slight dismay and simultaneous amazement as the woman, who was very visibly with child, waddle-ran toward her. Soleil closed the distance between them so the woman didn’t have too far a journey to make. Within seconds, Soleil found herself crushed between an ironclad grip and a protruding belly.
“It is you! I know Alex would never lie to me, but I just couldn’t believe it! But it is you, right here in my arms again! What happened? Where have you been? How did you come back? What—”
“Dearest, how about one question at a time?” the man with her said.
“Right,” the woman said with a sheepish grin. “Sorry about that. I just can’t believe it.”
The woman looked at Soleil with so much joy and love it almost broke her heart. So many wonderful emotions filled her face when she looked at Soleil, but no matter how much she wished she could, Soleil couldn’t return the feelings.
“It brings me great sorrow to have to ask this, as you seem to know me so well, but what is your name?”
Another gasp sprung from the young woman’s mouth. She looked in confusion over Soleil’s shoulder toward Alex, then back at Soleil. “Do you really not know me?”
“I’m sorry. I do not know how much Alex has told you, but it would appear that during my abduction I lost my memory.”
The young woman’s hand flew to her mouth as her eyes widened. “My goodness! No wonder you never found your way home. You must have so many questions. Well, let’s start with the basics. My name is Virginia. We were the best of friends as young ladies. That tall glass of hot milk over there is my husband Charles,” she said with a smile. Soleil couldn’t help but laugh at the outlandish description.
At the mention of his name, Charles gave a slight bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Soleil. You are a legend in our home, and it is wonderful to finally be able to put a face to a name.”
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well.”
“I hate to interrupt,” Alex said, “but how about we continue this conversation over dinner? The little miss has informed me she is quite famished.”
“Of course! My goodness, you have a daughter? I have so many questions. Let us sit.” Virginia wrapped her arm around Soleil’s and steered them toward the dining room table. They sat down with Alex at the head of the table, Soleil on his right and Hope on his left. Virginia sat next to Soleil, with Charles directly across.
As soon as everyone was seated, the servers came forward to serve the meal. Soleil gave a nod and small smile of thanks as her plate was placed in front of her. It was still so odd to have someone serving her. For as long as she could remember, she had been the servant who was barely noticed and never heard. No sooner had Soleil picked up her fork than Virginia resumed her inquisition, staring expectantly at Soleil. “So, what has your life been like these past five years?”
Soleil looked longingly at the lovely meal in front of her, then sighed in acceptance; answering questions would be the main activity during this dinner. Garlic and a hint of something else—rosemary, perhaps—danced in her nostrils. It would probably be a while before she tasted it. Her stomach gave a gentle grumble, letting her know it would like to be satisfied.
She placed her fork down to give Virginia her undivided attention. Conversations such as these were always best to face head-on and be done with. “I will try to give you as much detail as possible while being brief.”
“No, my dear. Take as much time as you need.” Virginia placed her hand over Soleil’s in a reassuring gesture. “I want to know everything.”
With a glance to her left, Soleil could see Alex’s attention focused on her. It seemed he was curious to hear her story as well.
“Well, all I can remember is waking up to the sound of gruff voices. I now know they were the men who abducted me, bartering with a slave trader. I was sold at auction to an elderly woman, Mrs. Williams. She wasn’t a nice woman, but she wasn’t overly harsh, either. She doled out what she felt was justice, which included the occasional whipping, but not senseless torture. Due to my ability to read, write and keep books, I ran her house as she became feeble. Mrs. Williams was not a wealthy woman, so it was just her and me along with an older slave, Mr. Jones, that she occasionally borrowed for hard labor. I cooked, cleaned, cared for the animals, and tended her small crop. She always made sure I had enough to take care of myself and Hope, whom I acquired along the way.”
Soleil paused to look lovingly at her daughter. Hope barely noticed as she tucked into her meal. “Mrs. Williams died in her sleep. That is how I found myself in James’s care, and with the need to run. For the sake of sensitive company, I will simply say he was no gentleman, and refusing nearly cost me my life. I had no choice but to take Hope and run.”
The last bit of her story had apparently captured Hope’s attention, as she looked up from her plate and placed her fork down. All joy had slipped from her face and a small pout now contorted her mouth. No doubt she was remembering that horrible night. Soleil wished she could erase it from the little girl’s mind.
No one made a sound as they waited for Soleil to continue. She could feel the anticipation in the air, but had no plans to quell it.
Unable to hold back her curiosity, Virginia broke the silence. “The Emancipation Proclamation was signed in 1863. The 13th Amendment was placed into law in two years ago. Why did you stay if you were treated in such a way?”
“Because freedom isn’t free,” Soleil snapped. She immediately felt guilty for the terse reply; Virginia was only trying to understand her situation, but Soleil’s old rage over the plight of her people erupted from the depths of her heart.
“I beg your pardon? I don’t understand.”
“Not soon after the 13th Amendment came the Black Codes. If a Negro person is found without a job, they are charged with vagrancy. Vagrancy equals fines that you cannot pay. Not being able to pay equals imprisonment. But of course, no one will hire you without a reference from your most recent employer. For the Negro person in America, freedom comes at a cost most are unable to pay. Thus we are free on paper, but not free in fact.”
Alex reached out and placed his hand atop hers. Soleil knew it was a gesture of reassurance, which was the only reason she did not follow through on her natural inclination to pull away. He had done so much, and was apparently feeling some guilt over her situation, so she would allow him this small measure of relief.
Before she knew what was happening, Soleil found herself once again encased in Virginia’s solid embrace. Sobs racked the woman’s body as tears ran down her face. For a moment, old habits of self-preservation kicked in, and Soleil went completely still. She reminded herself that the woman posed no threat, especially in her current, very round state, and relaxed into the embrace. Even surprising herself, she wrapped her arms around her friend to console her. Friend. It was a new concept, but one she could see herself getting used to. No one had ever cried on her behalf before. A small part of her melted at the thought, and yearned for more.
“Do not cry for me. That is simply the hand life has dealt me.”
“Of course I am crying for you. I love you like my own flesh and blood. When you suffer, I suffer.”
Soleil was momentarily taken aback by her words. She could feel the moment when the ice around her heart caved and Virginia pushed her way in. “I can never express to you how much those words mean to me. They touch my very soul. I am honored that you think so highly of me, but I still would not change a single minute of my life. Everything that has happened has brought me to this moment. It brought me my daughter, who is my greatest treasure, and the ability to feel your words and their importance with an appreciation I don’t think many can fathom.”
Soleil pushed out of the embrace to look Virginia in the eyes. She smiled at her and wiped away the tears. As she looked around the table, each face wore a similar somber expression. Hope looked as if she would disintegrate into tears if one more sad word was spoken. It was not her intent to make everyone so sad about her story.
“Stop your crying. We will blame it on the emotional turmoil the little one is stirring in you, and save my story for another day. In fact, if you wish and if Alex will allow it, I would love for you to call on me tomorrow.”
“Of course I shall allow it. Besides, I have never been able to keep Virginia from barging into my home when the mood strikes her.” Alex smiled and winked at Virginia with brotherly affection.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Alex. I am a mild-mannered woman who only cares about societal decorum. I would never intrude on you uninvited.”
“We will all ignore the lie of that statement,” Charles interjected.
“What a treacherous husband you are! I will ignore that slight because I am such a gracious wife. And yes Soleil, I would love to visit with you tomorrow.”
“Good, it is settled. Now it seems there is much I have missed in the past six years. Tell me the story of you and Charles.”
Virginia’s disposition brightened at the prospect of being able to share her and Charles’s tale. “It is a most epic tale, if I do say so myself. Love, lies, danger, and adventure. Let’s see, where to begin?”
Soleil relaxed into her chair to listen to her friend’s recounting of what she would soon find was quite the epic tale indeed. Virginia had each of them hanging on her every word. Hope listened intently, as if she was afraid even to blink for fear of missing a piece of the story. The room was filled with love, laughter, and joy. It felt so strange and yet normal to Soleil. Taking it all in, she realized that normal was exactly what she needed.