I didn’t need to go to the casino that night, but I went anyway.
Because Carmen had pissed me off.
After I checked on the floor and talked to security, I took the elevator down to my office underground. It was the quietest place in the world, the one location I could truly be alone without being bothered. The only person who could get down here without my prior knowledge was Ronan—and he hardly ever did.
I sat in my leather chair with a glass of scotch in my hand. I stared at the wall, my elbow on the desk and my fingertips lightly pressed against my cheek. My thoughts kept going back to Carmen, the one who came into my life so unexpectedly. Now she was ruining my life because she wanted to leave.
It was a bunch of bullshit.
I knew she loved me. She just didn’t want to love me.
Too fucking bad.
Hours passed, but I was in no hurry to head home. Carmen would be on the couch because she couldn’t sleep without me. This was my cruel way of showing her exactly how dependent she was on me.
Just in case she forgot.
The elevator clanked as it descended to my floor, and heavy footsteps thudded against the concrete as someone came down to join me.
It could only be one person.
I stood up and poured another drink. “All I got is scotch. Drink up.” I set the glass at the end of the desk and sat down again.
Ronan grinned before he picked it up. “Do you ever have anything else?” He took a drink before he sat down on the leather couch, the couch where I’d fucked Carmen that one time.
“Good point.” I swirled my glass before I took another drink. “Is there something you need?”
“No. Drake told me you’d been down here a long time. Wanted to see if everything was alright.”
“I’m fine.” The words weren’t convincing, even to me. I came down here to get away from Carmen, not to think and talk about her.
He took a long drink before he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Look, it’s late. How about we cut the bullshit and just get right to the point? I know there’s something wrong, and I’m guessing it has something to do with Carmen. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But not let’s pretend.”
I didn’t want to talk about it, but I didn’t want to coldly dismiss my brother when he was only trying to be supportive. I’d pushed him away already, and it was a miracle he was still there. I wouldn’t take him for granted again. “You’re right. It’s about Carmen.”
“Yeah? What happened?”
“I told her I loved her. She refused to say it back.”
Ronan’s eyes opened wider, just as surprised by her reaction as I was. “You know she’s lying, right?”
I rested my fingertips against my temple. “Yes.” There was no way a woman could kiss that good, could fuck that good, and could cry that good without meaning it. I saw the way she used me as a crutch, the way I made her feel safer than anyone else in the world.
“Now the question is, why is she lying?”
“A lot of reasons. The biggest one, she wants to break up in four weeks.”
“Really?” he asked. “Doesn’t seem like she wants to leave.”
“I think she’d rather move on than try to make it work with me. I’m still not what she wants in a partner.”
“What does she want, exactly?”
“A family.” She wanted four kids, one right after another.
“And that’s not something you’re willing to do?”
I shrugged. “She’s never asked. That’s what makes me angry. She already ruled me out with even bothering to find out. She’s never given me a chance to be what she wants—even though I keep proving her wrong over and over.”
“Maybe you should tell her that.”
“No. I’ve been bending over backward for this woman for too long. She needs to meet me halfway. She needs to tell me how she feels.”
Ronan didn’t disagree with me. “She’ll come around, Bosco. It’s only a matter of time. She’s been crazy about you since the beginning. Maybe she can lie to you for a while, but she can’t lie to herself. It won’t last long.”
“I hope you’re right. I’m purposely lingering, knowing she’s sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come home. She told me she can’t sleep without me. I’m reminding her how much she needs me…just in case she forgot.”
When I came home, she was exactly where I expected her to be.
But this time, she was sitting upright with her knees pulled to her chest. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she was watching an old sitcom on TV. It was almost five in the morning, and even though she was supposed to wake up in forty-five minutes, she’d stayed awake the entire time.
Point proven.
I ignored her as I walked inside and headed for the bedroom. I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the bin before I put my shoes on top.
She helped herself into bed, getting under my sheets and closing her eyes.
I got on my side of the bed, but just because we were in this rut didn’t mean we weren’t fucking. I pulled her panties down her ass and legs and then rolled her to her stomach. Even if she didn’t want to participate, she was getting fucked. That pussy would be stuffed with my come regardless.
She barely had a chance to say a single word before I shoved myself inside her.
“Don’t say a goddamn thing.” I thrust hard, pressing her into the mattress as I ground against her with all my weight. I was pissed at this woman, but no matter how angry I was, it didn’t change my needs. I could have stopped by Ruby’s place and gotten my dick sucked, but I only wanted this come—even when I was angry.
She moaned with my thrusts, her body shaking with the intense way I drove into her.
I wasn’t in the mood to please her, so I didn’t care about getting her off. All I cared about now was driving myself into a climax so I could go to sleep.
But she came anyway.
I pounded hard and fast, making her ass cheeks shake because I thrust into her so hard. I fucked her pussy like a toy and moved through the cream she made for me. With a groan, I came. Come exploded out of my head and entered deep inside her, exactly where it belonged. I kept thrusting as I enjoyed the last of my orgasm, turned on by the way I was stuffing her.
When I finished, I rolled off her and moved back to my side of the bed, purposely putting space between us. If she didn’t want to be loved by me, I would show her exactly how that felt. I would show her what it was like to mean nothing to me.
She moved to her back and stayed on her side, her breathing still heavy in the darkness. She usually fell asleep almost instantly, but now she seemed to be wide awake. She looked at the ceiling with the sheets pulled to her waist.
I turned on my side and purposely looked away from her.
I wasn’t tired and neither was she, but neither one of us would speak. Practically oceans apart, we pretended the other didn’t exist.