Chapter 4:
The Decision

  1. Contemplate this statement: “Murder may be the hardest kind of death to process, and the emotional response is much more complicated because this unfathomable grief is coupled with anger.” Do you agree or disagree? Why?
  2. Describe the freedom Anthony Thompson felt in the courtroom when he decided to forgive Dylann Roof.
  3. Ponder and respond to this statement: “Even atheists had to see divinity in these families built by love. God was there in that courtroom if He has ever been anywhere.”
  4. Think about and respond to President Obama’s words: “Any death of this sort is a tragedy. There is something particularly heartbreaking about the death happening in a place in which we seek solace and we seek peace, in a place of worship.”
  5. Do you agree or disagree with one critic’s statement that the “oversimplification of I forgive demonstrates a lack of understanding of the significance of the incident”? Explain.
  6. Do you believe that “forgiveness alone can halt the cycle of blame and pain, breaking the chain of un-grace”? Why or why not?
  7. Why does Anthony Thompson believe unforgiveness would “lock him forever into victimhood,” and make him “a damaged slave to the evil deed of a depraved killer”?
  8. What does author Lewis Smedes mean by the following statement? “Forgiving is a journey, sometimes a long one, and we may need some time before we get to the station of complete healing, but the nice thing is that we are being healed en route. When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”
  9. Anthony Thompson admits he didn’t remember “feeling very forgiving” when he decided to forgive Roof. Do you believe a Christian must “feel forgiving” when he or she chooses to forgive another person? Why or why not?
  10. When Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive sinful people who hurt him, how does Jesus respond? Why is the number seventy-seven so significant in the Emanuel Church shooting?
  11. Contemplate the Time magazine reporter’s statement about Thompson’s courtroom call to Roof to seek God’s mercy and forgiveness: “Thompson was calling on the killer to turn himself inside out, to inventory everything wrong about his thoughts and actions—the murders, of course, but also the willful ignorance and cultivated hatred that apparently fueled him, and the vanity that would make him think he was an instrument of history, and the hard-heartedness that made it possible for him to sit with his victims and know their humanity before he ever drew his gun. A true confession of his offenses would entail a wrenching calculation of the measureless grief and suffering his crimes caused in the lives of those who survived. It would comprehend the theft he committed of nine lives, and all the promise and love that lay in store for his victims. All stolen. And it would face up, as well, to the wastage of his own life and possibilities.” Please put your thoughts into writing.
  12. Do you believe that “forgiveness is a kind of purifier that absorbs injury and returns love”? Why or why not?
  13. Jesus commands believers to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27–28). Do you think Jesus’ command can actually be accomplished?
  14. Ponder this Scripture: “A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction” (Galatians 6:7–8). Do you agree? Why or why not?

For Deeper Understanding

  1. Read Lewis B. Smedes’s books on forgiveness, including Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve (2007); The Art of Forgiving (1997); and Shame and Grace: Healing the Shame We Don’t Deserve (2009). What did you learn from these books?
  2. Read Philip Yancey’s book What’s So Amazing About Grace? (1997). What did you learn about grace?
  3. Hope might be defined as a wish or desire to believe that something good may happen. Biblical hope, however, is the certain expectation of God’s promises based on His faithfulness. What is your personal definition of hope?

Your Notes