I kissed both kids good-bye and gave them each a tight hug. These were the only times Andrew let me kiss him anymore. I brushed away a tear that somehow managed to disobey my order not to cry.
“You guys have a great time with your dad. Grandma’s going to come and get you next week so you can spend time with her too.”
Andrew rolled his eyes. “We know, Mom. You’ve told us ten times.”
“I did not. I’ve been counting and it’s only been nine.”
I went over a list of things in my head that I’d wanted to make sure I told them, trying to figure out if there was anything I missed. Don’t talk to anyone they didn’t know—Andrew, keep an eye on your little sister—Don’t spend the emergency money I gave you on anything foolish—Dad will be there waiting for you when you get off the plane.
I figured I had covered everything—at least three times. I gave them each another hug when they called for their flight to start boarding. I walked them to the line and watched them go down the hallway to their plane. Annie turned and waved just before they were out of sight. I let a few tears roll down my cheeks before brushing them away.
That quote from A Tale of Two Cities, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” came to mind. I missed my kids when they were gone for the summer, but it meant I got more alone time with Claire, and the tension in the house between her and the kids was temporarily gone.
I hung around the airport watching out the window until the plane taxied down the runway and out of sight. I sent a silent prayer and boatload of positive energy out for their safety and headed out to the parking lot.
Claire was still at work when I got home. I set the groceries I had picked up, along with the bottle of wine and flowers, on the kitchen table and went to let Tess out.
By the time Claire walked in the side door that led to the garage I was just putting the finishing touches on our dinner. I had two glasses of Claire’s favorite wine poured and fresh flowers on the table.
“What’s all this?” Claire asked.
I kissed her on the mouth. “This…” I waved my hands toward the table. “Is a romantic dinner to celebrate the first night of some much needed alone time.”
“Nice. I’m just going to run upstairs to change.”
I lit the candles on the table and dimmed the lights.
Claire came back down in record time and took her place at the table. “Wow. This is nice,” she said. “I like it when it’s just you and me.”
We enjoyed a quiet dinner together catching up on each other’s day, and Claire went to relax in front of the television while I cleaned up.
Later that night, I didn’t bother with my pajamas and slipped under the sheets naked. I slid close to Claire and kissed her. I was aiming for her mouth, but she turned her head at the last second and my kiss landed on her cheek. I aimed again and this time found my target. But my target wasn’t as willing to kiss me back as I had planned. We’d been through this before—a lot. I knew that in the past when I wasn’t in the mood for sex, it sometimes only took a little coaxing to get me there. I often thought the same would hold true for Claire. I pushed on with my attempt at lovemaking. I found the soft skin of her stomach underneath her pajama top. As quickly as I started caressing her, her hand was on top of mine stopping its progression.
“Come on,” I whispered in my most seductive voice. “We’re all alone. It’s just you and me.”
“I’m really tired,” she said. Her usual excuse. But I guess that was slightly better than the times she totally ignored my advances as if I wasn’t even there. Those times I felt like crawling under a rock, but I usually just rolled over to my side of the bed and wished I was as invisible as she made me feel.
I decided to push just a bit harder—something I almost never did after being rejected. “Tomorrow’s Saturday, sweetie. You can sleep in and make up for any sleep you lose tonight. I promise to make it worth your while.” I moved in closer and planted tiny kisses down her neck.
She twisted just enough to let me know that she wanted me to stop. I did and without another word I got up and put my pajamas on. I crawled back into bed, being very conscious of staying on my own side.
“Good night,” Claire said as if nothing had just transpired.
“Night,” I said with my back toward her.
I could hear her reach for the television remote on her nightstand. The Law and Order repeat blared into the silence of the room. I put my pillow over my head to drown out the sound and my feelings of rejection.
* * *
The next morning, I needed to get out of the house for a while. After Claire’s rejection, I didn’t feel like spending time with her. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want her to know I was mad at her. Baggage from my childhood. I wasn’t allowed to be mad in my father’s presence. Ironic, since most of the time when I was mad during my childhood, I was mad at him. “Put a smile on your face,” he would say. I would plaster that fake smile on long enough to be able to retreat to my room and away from him. Funny what we carried over from childhood. Thank God he had mellowed as he aged.
“I need to do some running around,” I told her. “I have to go get some supplies for a sign order.” It was the truth. I didn’t need them until next week, but now was as good a time as any to get them. I was hoping she wouldn’t offer to go with me. She didn’t.
I gave her a chaste kiss good-bye and headed out to my car. I was almost to the store when my cell phone rang. A quick glance told me it was Beth. I stuck my Bluetooth in my ear and pressed the button.
“Hey there.”
“Hi. I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“Where can I get some of those fire starter sticks you mentioned? I thought it might make it easier using the fire pit.”
“I’m out running errands,” I told her. “I can stop and get you some. Will you be home in about an hour if I come by with it?” I hoped she’d say yes. I really wanted to see her. This was the perfect excuse. I calculated in my mind the best way to get to Home Depot from where I was.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’re busy.”
“It’s no problem. I don’t have anything pressing I need to do today.” I certainly didn’t want to go home and spend time with Claire. I would much rather spend the rest of my day with Beth. I was assuming that she would be free to spend it with me. I loved the fact that she wasn’t dating anyone and had no one she needed to account to. Please say I can come over, I thought. There was no way I could actually tell her how much I wanted that. It was a fine line between the crush I felt for her and making sure she didn’t find out. “What do you think? It won’t take me long to get them and get them to you.”
“If you’re sure it’s not a problem.”
I pulled into someone’s driveway to turn around. Home Depot was in the other direction. “Not a problem at all. I’ll be there shortly.” I was about to say good-bye.
“Did you eat lunch? I can make us something when you get here.”
Yes! I forced myself to keep my voice even—to keep the excitement out of it. “That would be great. See you soon.” I hit the end button on my phone and tossed it on the seat next to me.