I wasn’t sure what made me do it, but I reached into the drawer of my nightstand and pulled out the pink heart Jodi had given me. I rubbed my fingers over it letting the smoothness seep into my soul. The stone seemed to radiate warmth into me the same way Jodi’s heart did when we were together. I closed my fingers around it and brought it to my chest. This was the only way I could have Jodi’s heart next to mine. I missed that heart. I missed my friend. I missed the woman that meant so much to me. I knew the cord that connected us was still there, but she had said she needed time away from me and I gave it to her.
Al let out a snore as he rolled over onto his back beside me. I had made my choice. The only one I felt I could. I closed my eyes, and with that stone in my hand and my choice lying next to me in bed, I fell asleep.
* * *
Al was up and already off to work, I assumed, when I woke up the following morning. The rose quartz was still in my hand, warm from my sleep. I placed it back in its wooden box in my nightstand, safely away from the confusion and upset that was my life.
Al’s toothbrush lay over the edge of his sink. Proof that he had been here and was gone. If he kissed me good-bye I didn’t remember it. It was more likely he didn’t. He was on his best behavior, but deep down he was who he was, and who he was was a man who didn’t show much affection…at least not to me. I didn’t know what kind of affection he had given to the woman he’d cheated on me with.
If I was going to make this work—and I was determined to—I needed to forgive and forget. I believed I was well on the way to forgiveness, but forgetting was another matter. It would take time. I prayed for the happiness to return to our marriage. I knew that if the marriage worked, I could be happy again. I felt so alone in the world. There was a palpable disconnect between Al and me, and Jodi’s swift exit from my life left me feeling even more miserable. Between the two though, I found it was Jodi I missed the most. I was starting to wonder if I had made the biggest mistake of my life.