Chapter 3

 

 

 

A knock on his door woke him from a sound sleep. “Len, you’ll be late for work.”

“Shit!” He glanced at the clock and breathed a sigh of relief. He still had time. “Thanks, Ma.”

“You’re welcome, hon.” He heard her footsteps recede as he threw back the covers and got himself out of bed, pulled on his pants, and headed to the bathroom down the hall.

“Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes,” she called.

“Thanks.” He cleaned up quickly and finished dressing before heading to the kitchen. Coffee was already poured, and the toast popped up just as he sat down. A few minutes later, two plates appeared on the table, and his mother sat down across from him.

“You okay, Len? You’ve been so quiet for so long.”

A sigh escaped before he could stop it. “I still miss Ruby sometimes.” He really did. She had been the one person he could talk to about anything. Oh, his mom had been supportive and tried her best to understand, but it was tough for her, and Len knew that. He also knew that she was disappointed that he wouldn’t get married and that she wouldn’t have grandchildren. But he missed the easy conversation he’d had with his best friend.

“I know you do, but Janelle seems nice.” His mother knew he was gay, but sometimes, she just couldn’t help hoping. Len didn’t fault her for that. He couldn’t, because there were times that he hoped as well—hoped he could be normal, like everyone else.

Len shrugged and sipped his coffee. “She’s very nice, and we have fun, but she’s not like Ruby.” No one was like Ruby. He sometimes thought that if he was ever going to marry a woman, it would be Ruby, except for the sex part.

“I know. It’s hard when you lose your best friend. Imagine how hard it’s been for Cliff, losing his wife. Have you seen him since the funeral?” She began eating.

“A few times in town. I saw him last week with Geoff. He’s the spitting image of his mother, and he’s walking now. It was so cute seeing him walking along, holding his dad’s hand.” He finished his breakfast and put the dishes in the sink. “Today’s payday, and I thought I’d take you to dinner.”

“Don’t you have plans with Janelle?”

“God, yes, I’d completely forgotten.” He raced back to his bedroom and got his things for work. “I’ll see you later.”

He heard a muffled reply from his mother’s room as he closed the door and headed out to his car. It took him about ten minutes to drive to work, WKLA providing the morning news and weather. He arrived a few minutes later than usual and parked in his regular spot, entering the dealership through the service entrance and turning on the lights in the business office before getting everything ready for the day.

The day was busy and went unusually quickly for a Friday. Just before lunch, he received a call from Janelle, confirming dinner for that evening and letting him know that she’d meet him at the restaurant at six. He’d just hung up the phone when he saw the owner of the dealership standing by the door to the office. “Len, could I speak with you a minute?”

“Sure.” He had been handing out paychecks as people stopped by, so he put the remainder in the desk drawer. He looked at Keith, the business manager, and saw the look on his face. He knew that look; he’d seen it before. Taking and releasing a deep breath, he followed the boss to his front corner office.

“Please have a seat.” Len sat in one of the chairs and waited. “This is something I’ve tried to avoid.” The big man leaned forward, meeting Len’s eyes. “As you know, business hasn’t been very good the last few months, and while I’ve been hoping it would turn around, it hasn’t, and I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go.”

Len had heard those words before, and the second time hurt just as much as the first. Both times he’d been working for over a year, and both times he’d just started to fit in and make a few friends, have people to eat lunch with. “I understand.”

“Look, Len, I’m really sorry. You’ve done good work, and this has nothing to do with your job performance.” He passed an envelope across the desk. “When business picks up, I’d be more than happy to bring you back. You’re a good worker. The envelope contains a sterling letter of recommendation and a month’s severance pay along with your week of vacation pay.” He stood up, and Len did the same. “I’m really sorry.”

Len didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of, he held out his hand. The boss shook it, and then Len left the office, going right back to his desk, where Keith was waiting. “I’m real sorry, Len.”

“Me too.”

Keith checked his watch. “Get your things together and go home.” He opened his desk drawer and retrieved his own paycheck from the stack of envelopes.

“Thank you for everything, Keith.” He gathered his things and quietly left the building after saying a few good-byes.

The drive home was amazingly short, and no one was about as he pulled into the yard and parked the car. Walking into the house, he put his things on the table and sat in the small living room. “You’ll live. It’s happened before.” Len got up and went into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and taking out a beer. Pulling the pull tab, he heard the familiar pop and then the carbonation took over. Lifting the cold can to his lips, he took a big gulp as he walked back into the living room and sat down with a sigh.

The front door opened and closed, and he heard his mother come inside. “You’re going to be late for your dinner if you don’t get a move on.”

Len stood up and met her in the kitchen. “I got laid off today.” He showed her the letter and told her what they’d said.

“I’m sorry, hon. Maybe you should call Janelle and cancel.”

Something inside Len bucked him up. “No. I can’t let this get me down. I made plans, and I’m going to stick to them. And on Monday, I’ll start looking for another job. I’ve been through this before, and hell, I’ll probably go through it again.” Just saying the words helped him feel better, so he put the last of the beer in the sink and went to his room to change clothes.

A half hour later, he was in his car on the way to the restaurant. Pulling into the parking lot, he noticed that Janelle had just arrived and was walking toward the door. Pushing his worries back, he steeled himself and got out of the car, meeting Janelle by the door. “You weren’t waiting, were you?”

“Oh, no.” She smiled as he held the door for her. “I just got here.”

“Good.” He took her jacket, and one of the waitresses led them to a table. The restaurant wasn’t fancy, just a small family-style restaurant, but the food was good and plentiful.

“Hey, Janelle, Len, what can I get for you?”

“Hi, Lacy.” Len said as he looked to Janelle to let her order first. “How are things going?”

“Not bad.” Her smile faded just a little. “I heard about your job. You’ll find something better, I know it.” Len remembered Lacy from one of his early college classes. She hadn’t done well and had given up after a semester, but she always had a smile and never seemed to let things get her down. Len had to admire that.

“Thanks.” Len watched the surprised look on Janelle’s face along with something else he couldn’t quite read.

Janelle put down her menu. “I’ll have the fish special and a Diet Coke.”

“And I’ll have a burger and fries.” Lacy gave him another smile, and then she went to place the order.

“What happened, Len?”

“Business has been slow, and they needed to cut back. I was the last one hired, so they let me go.” He shrugged and tried to stay positive, while at the same time marveling just how quickly news spread in town. “On Monday, I’ll start looking for another job.” He tried to sound casual. “Don’t worry about it. How have you been?”

She started telling him a whole litany of things that had happened in the last week. “I got a job at the telephone company in customer service and billing. I start Monday.” She was so excited, and Len did his best to be happy for her. It certainly wasn’t her fault that he’d been laid off, and she had every right to be excited. “When Papa died, he left me his life insurance money, but I’ve wanted to save it for emergencies, and now with my own job, I can be fully independent,” Janelle explained. Their conversation quieted as their food arrived, but as soon as Lacy left, Janelle picked up where she left off.

Len listened and smiled as she told him all about her new job, the woman barely stopping to take a breath or eat, she was so happy. When her father had died, she’d taken it quite hard and even moved out of the family home to live with an aunt. Len finished his dinner and listened as Janelle talked.

“Say, Len, I just had an idea.” She’d finished eating and was sipping her coffee. “My brother could use some help on the farm. He’s short-handed and needs people he can rely on.”

“I don’t know anything about farming.” Len wasn’t sure this was a good fit for him. “I’ve worked with horses, and I can ride, but doesn’t your brother raise cattle?

“Yes, so…?”

“I don’t know the first thing about cows.”

She laughed after she sipped her coffee. “You don’t really need to.” She put down her cup and looked seriously at Len. “Ever since Ruby and my dad died, he’s had a difficult time of it, what with the farm and trying to raise a baby on his own. He needs some help, and you need a job.” When she said it like that, it seemed so reasonable.

“What could I do to help him?”

She shook her head and looked exasperated. “If you’re not interested, fine, but I thought you might need a job.”

Len smiled and tried to diffuse the tension that had suddenly crept in. “Maybe you’re right. It wouldn’t hurt for me to talk to him.”

“Excellent!” Her smile was radiant, and Len realized he’d been coerced into doing exactly what she’d wanted. Hell, if he didn’t know better, he’d think they were dating. “I’ll call Cliff tonight and tell him you’ll be by to see him.” They finished their coffee, and Len asked for the check.

After paying, they left the restaurant, and he walked Janelle to her car. “Thank you. I’ll stop by and see Cliff tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I can help him.” He held the car door for her as she got in the car, closing it behind her with a thunk. She started the car and waved as she pulled away. Walking across the small lot, he got in his own car and headed home.

Pulling into the yard, he parked next to his mother’s car and went inside. As he expected, she was sitting in the living room watching television. “How was dinner?”

“Good.” He sat on the sofa. “Janelle told me that her brother is looking for some help on the farm and asked me to go over tomorrow and talk to him.” She turned her head, looking skeptical, but said nothing. “It’s a job, and I could sure use the money, at least until something else comes along.”

“Well, it certainly can’t hurt to talk to him.”

Len wasn’t so sure that was true. He hadn’t seen Cliff since Ruby died. She had invited him to dinner a number of times, and each time, Cliff had been polite but distant. If he were honest with himself, he wasn’t so sure Cliff would want him to work at the farm, and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to work there. Every time he saw Cliff, the first thing that sprang to mind was that night, that second behind the barn when he’d felt Cliff’s lips next to his. He knew he shouldn’t, but he just couldn’t help it. Cliff Laughton had been the star of his feverish imagination even before that kiss, and to be so close to him on a daily basis—

“Len!”

He heard his name and jerked himself back to the present. “Sorry, Mom. What were you saying?”

“I was asking you if Janelle told you what time you should be there?”

“No. She didn’t mention a specific time, but I’ll go over in the morning.” He had to keep his mind from wandering all the time. Cliff had married Ruby. Whatever had happened in high school was a long time ago. Besides, Cliff had probably just gotten swept up in the moment and had regretted what he’d done as soon as it was over. “I’m going to clean up and go to bed.” He lifted himself from the old sofa and headed to his small room.

Len grabbed some sweatpants and a T-shirt and went across the small hall to the bathroom. Stripping off his clothes, he started the shower and climbed beneath the spray. The hot water felt good and washed away much of the day’s tension, and there seemed to be plenty of it. As he started to relax, he felt parts of him begin to stiffen. It had been a while since… well, since he’d allowed himself any sort of release, and his body was definitely ready. Slowly, he ran his hands down his stomach, sliding them along his length. He wanted to moan, but he bit it back; the walls were paper thin. So he clamped his mouth shut and continued to stroke, letting his mind wander. It didn’t take long before a vision came to his mind: a face with deep eyes and thick brown hair and lips that just begged to be kissed. “Cliff.” The word escaped his lips before he could stop it.

Forcing the image from his mind, he tried to concentrate on something else, someone else, anyone else, but it wasn’t working, and things started going downhill from there. His mind wouldn’t cooperate and neither would the shower, because the water started going cold.

He was just getting out of the shower when he heard his mother call. Putting a towel around his waist, he cracked open the door. “Yes?” He heard her on the phone, and then she hung up.

“That was Janelle. She said to stop by Cliff’s in the morning but not too early.” That was really strange. Farmers were early risers; they had to be in order to get the work done while they had the sun.

“Okay. Thank you.” He closed the door and finished drying off before hanging up his towel and putting on the sweats and T-shirt. After making sure he’d left the bathroom clean—his mother had trained him well—he went out and found his mom still in the living room. Saying good night, he went to his room and climbed into bed.