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“I’m not really good company right now.” Adam sat on the couch and let Tiny jump onto his knee.
“I can see that but guess what, I’m giving you a chance to change things. But first, coffee or wine?” She stood near the kitchen, tempted to go and kiss the frown off his forehead but didn’t think he would appreciate it.
“Wine would be nice, thanks.”
Dakota pivoted around and took two wineglasses from the shelf and opened a bottle of red she had stashed in the bottom cupboard. They hadn’t bothered to stop and buy one after all because Adam seemed far too preoccupied to stop. When she walked back into the room, he had a small smile on his face.
“This dog is far too cute for her own good.”
Dakota handed him a glass and agreed. “She does have a knack of tugging at your heart strings.” She sat down near the fireplace, grateful for its warmth. “Right, want to tell me why you’ve been so down lately? Are you worried about your father?”
“He’s doing well, so that’s all good news.”
“That’s great.”
“Sure it is. But it’s not quite that simple. So much going on in my life right at the moment and I know I’m going to sound like a killjoy if I unload it all onto you.” Adam sipped the wine and then leaned forward, putting the glass on the table.
“But I asked you here, remember? I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t want to know or to help you.”
He stared at her for a moment. When he relaxed back, he started to talk again. “I’ve been tossing around the idea of retiring from soccer. It’s a young man’s game and while I’m not in my dotage yet, another decent injury would see me forced out. I don’t want that but I’m having trouble reconciling that it might be the best thing to do.”
“None of us like to give up something that’s dear to us. I don’t care if you play soccer or sell houses, Adam. We both felt the connection. You can’t deny it.”
“I know you understand but it gets more complicated than that. My father, well my father has a hereditary heart disease. There’s a fifty-fifty chance I have it too.”
No wonder he was a mess. What a horrible thought to live with. Dakota got up and moved over to sit beside him. She looped her arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek, snuggled into his arms. “I don’t care. We can face anything if we put our minds to it.”
“I have to wait and find out if I have it or not. If I do, it means no more soccer regardless of when I choose to retire. It’s too dangerous.”
“What’s worrying you the most, dropping dead or leaving the game?”
Adam glanced at her. “Both of those options make me sound like a spoiled child losing his favorite toy.”
She shrugged. “I’m sorry but you’re right, they do. Some people never get that chance, you know. Life gets snatched from them and it’s all over. Look at Cory’s mom. How terrible to lose your mother when you’re just a little kid. At least you’ve been luckier than most.”
“That’s another thing. I let him down. Made promises I haven’t kept. I have to take the blame for what my father tried to do too.”
“Why?”
“Because he kept asking to get me home and I wouldn’t commit because of the way my schedule was stacked up and then life got in the way and I simply forget, which is unforgiveable. I knew the kids were great fans and a visit from me would have been such a boost to them. Always too busy. Somewhere else to go, other people to see. I should have realized that the ones that were most important were the ones at home. Only time I made the effort to come back here was when I thought Dad was going to die.” Adam ran his fingers over Tiny’s ears and she closed her eyes. “I’m a lousy son and a worse role model. Those kids needed me and I was too busy thinking about myself more than them. I’m not boyfriend material. This isn’t the time for us to get involved, Dakota.”
“I think that’s a decision I can make on my own, thank you very much.” Her hackles rose and she was ready to fight for what she wanted but perhaps this wasn’t the time. You had to know when to choose your battles and maybe she should leave this one until Adam had his head sorted.
“No, this time I’m going to do what’s right. I’ve thought of myself and only myself for the last few years. It’s time to be considerate of others and I’m not going to get into a relationship with you until I know what’s wrong with me, if anything. Its better this way, Dakota, regardless of how we feel. I don’t want to let you down too.”
“You’re such an idiot. As if I would dump you because you might have the same condition as your father. Men!” She stood up and paced the lounge room, wishing she could shake some sense into him. The way he was at the moment, she doubted it would work. Time to play him at his own game. More than one way to skin a cat. “Fine, let’s be friends then. See if it makes you any happier. But one thing you have to do is sort out Cory and his friends. Something I won’t stand for – letting down a poor motherless child that hero worships you and hangs onto your every word. It’s not fair to do that to him.”
“I didn’t mean to forget, alright? I had other things on my mind.”
“Oh I get that, I really do. But all excuses are equal, something my father once told me. You need to fix it and make sure you do it in such a way that they’ll forgive you and not feel as though you’re just offering them a patch up job. That would be even worse in my opinion.”
He put Tiny on the couch and stood up. “Yeah, you’re right, I do. I’ll say good night and hopefully I’ll see you around, Dakota. I’ll still be there for you and the Christmas gala. Thanks for the chat.” He stalked out her front door without making eye contact.
She stood there listening to his car drive away. Perhaps she had overdone it but he had it coming. Someone had to snap him out of his poor me mood. “Men! Seriously, little poodle, you don’t know how lucky you are.” Dakota put the wineglasses on the counter, the screen in front of the fireplace and turned off the lights. Tiny snuggled into her arms as she carried her little dog to the bedroom. “This day has gone on for far too long. Let’s snuggle down and see how we’re going to get enough decorations for that huge tree. Me and my big mouth.”
Two hours later, and multiple drawings tossed on the bedroom floor, she sat up, scattering her pencils. “I have it, Tiny. I know exactly what I’m going to do for the tree to make it special.”
“Sorry man, I’m busy. If you’d asked me yesterday, I could have said yes.” Buzz’s voice rumbled over the phone. “Love doing workshops with kids, you know that, but my mama made plans and I can’t disappoint her.”
“I meant to ask yesterday but I had something on my mind. Completely my fault, I get that. I was hoping to get a day in before the school broke up for Christmas break.” He gripped his forehead, desperately trying to stave off the stress headache throbbing behind his eyes.
“You could ask a few of the other guys. Not sure what their plans are for Christmas but you might get lucky.” His teammate paused. “How about giving Ryan a call? He’s always up for a trip to somewhere quiet.”
Ryan, the lovable goalie. Of course. “Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. Thanks Buzz.”
“And Leon. That damned Irishman will go anywhere for a free meal. You know what he’s like. Feed him and he’s yours.”
And didn’t they all know it? Where there was fine food, Leon would be in his element.
“Any idea when you’re coming back, Adam?”
“Don’t tell me you miss my ugly face, Buzz.” Funny enough, Adam missed his teammates but not the game. That alone was a revelation to him. Perhaps it was his subconscious preparing him for the worst. He brushed off the doom and gloom.
“Yeah, I do. Place ain’t the same without you hanging around. Was thinking of coming out to visit this hometown of yours. City is kind of wearing thin. I’m feeling closed in, antsy like. Getting kind of jaded, know what I mean?”
Oh did he know alright. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I’m wondering if now would be a good time to retire. Please don’t say anything yet to anyone. I haven’t quite made up my mind but with my dad’s health being what it is.”
“I get that, man. You gotta look after number one and that’s you. You’ve been in this game for long enough. Might be time to lead a normal life.” A tinge of wistfulness colored Buzz’s voice. “You’ve got enough money tucked away, wise investments. Give your body a rest and join the real world.” Buzz was nothing if not down-to-earth.
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It is. Nothing complicated about it. Make a decision and stick to it.” A soft chuckle broke the tension-filled conversation. “Bet your old coach would love to see you back. You’ve got a lot to give, Adam. Those kids would be lucky to have you hanging around.”
“Thanks. Talking to you, well, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to retire. And I’m going to make it up to those kids.”
“Sorry I can’t help you out. You know I would if I could.”
“I know. And if you do make it to Cherry Lake, you can stay with me. I’d love to show you around the town.”
“Do I hear the sound of romance in the air, Adam? About time you got a down-to-earth hometown girl.” Buzz chuckled again. “Maybe I will have to talk to Mama about changing her plans. This is something I have to see.”
Adam decided to leave the phone calls to the other team members until the next day. He was drained and it was getting late. Another rejection from the guys would make it impossible for him to sleep, guilt would chew at his insides. The night hadn’t gone well and he could only blame himself.
He tossed his cell phone on the floor and pummeled his pillow, then turned off the light.
