CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MEM

(mehm)(final form: )

SOUND: m

NUMERICAL VALUE: 40

Meanings

According to the Sefer Yetzirah, the seminal text of Hebrew letter mysticism, there are three Mother letters in the Aleph Beit, each of which represents a foundational element. , Aleph, stands for air. , Shin, represents fire. , Mem, is the letter of water. The Hebrew word for water, , mayim, begins and ends with Mem. Many water words start with Mem, such as mayahn, “spring”; mizraka, “fountain”; and motza, “source.” Mem represents the flowing, fluid rhythm of life.

In many languages, the words for “sea” and the “m” sound itself are related to the words for “mother.” For example, in Hebrew, , yahm, means “sea,” and , aym, means “mother.” In French, mer means “sea” and mère means “mother.” Water is the first mother. For nine months, a kind of eternity, we float in the salty seas of our mothers’ wombs. “Mama” is one of the first words babies speak. “Mmm,” grown-ups still say when something tastes good.

This Mother letter, Mem, embodies the mothering quality of compassion. The word for “womb,” , rechem, is the root of rachamim, “mercy” or “compassion.” The Torah describes Thirteen Attributes of Mercy that were revealed to Moses on Mount Sinai. Mem is the thirteenth letter of the Aleph Beit. In many cultures, thirteen is a number of woman’s power, as there are thirteen lunar and menstrual cycles in a solar year. The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy include kindness, generosity, tolerance, awareness, patience, compassion, and love.¹

In the Hebrew numerical system, Mem equals forty, a number associated with purification. A traditional mikveh, the ceremonial bath of purification (most commonly used by Jewish women after completing their menstrual cycles), contains at least forty measures of rainwater. The Great Flood lasted for forty days and forty nights. , Moses (whose name, which starts with Mem, means “drawn from the water”), fasted and prayed for forty days during each of his three sojourns on Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah. The Hebrews wandered for forty years in the desert before being deemed ready to enter the promised land. Forty represents a washing clean, a cycle of purification.

The ultimate purification will be when the “knowledge of God covers the earth as the waters cover the sea.”² Then, the world will be ready to receive, or embody the consciousness of , Mashiach, the Messiah, whose name begins with the Mother letter, Mem.

Application

Each of us is naturally intimate with water. All of us floated in the womb waters prior to birth. Every day, water enters our mouths and courses through our bodies. Sixty-five percent of our bodies, in fact, consist of water. Mem is the letter that pours forth this sustaining, essential , mayim chayim, the water of life.

When Mem flows into our lives, we are called to become like water, fluid, flexible, unstuck. Mem carries us along when we “go with the flow.” This doesn’t mean mindlessly or indulgently conforming to specific social expectations, or being totally passive. Rather, it means allowing ourselves to be borne on the river of life in a natural, organic way.

Part of the flow of life is the stream of emotions. Are there places in our emotional lives where we are stuck, where there’s a logjam? Mem encourages us to search for ways to allow our emotions to flow once again. Are we attempting to hold back a flood of grief by becoming emotionally frozen or numb?

The word for “tumor” in the Mayan highlands of Guatemala translates as “solidified sorrow.” The Mayans believe that if people don’t grieve adequately, which includes, but is not limited to, freeing the flow of tears, sorrow then hardens and causes physical and emotional problems. The solution is to find safe ways to loosen tears so that the sad emotions can become liquid once again and pass through and out of the body instead of becoming stuck inside.³

Mem encourages us to nourish life with our tears so that happiness can sprout forth once more. Rebbe Nachman of Breslav writes, “How very good it is when you can awaken your heart and plead to God until tears stream from your eyes, and you stand like a little child crying to its parent.”⁴

In the Grimm Brothers’ tale of “The Water of Life,” a king lies dying, and the only way he can recover is if someone can find and retrieve the Water of Life. One by one, the king’s three sons head out on a quest to find this precious water. The youngest son eventually succeeds in gaining entrance to an enchanted castle. Yet, before he can locate the fountain from which springs the Water of Life, he must pass through a large hall full of men who have turned to stone, earlier seekers who got stuck and frozen.

In his commentary on this story, Michael Meade writes that living in this age “is like walking through a great weeping. It is like an ongoing funeral, a huge shedding of the life of the world…When the heart knows sorrow and never weeps, the sorrow gets locked like a storm inside the heart. When the storm can’t pour out, it turns solemn, it becomes a stone weight. Grieving clears the heart and keeps it open.”⁵

In order to find the sacred water that restores life to the kingdom, we must be able to bear the knowledge of death and loss without turning to stone. Grieving, in its various forms, enables us to do this.

Grieving is one form of purification. The mikveh, the ritual bath, is another kind of purification. When Mem shows up, it’s time for a literal or figurative mikveh, immersing oneself in the rejuvenating and cleansing mayim chayim, waters of life. This can be a literal mikveh or a figurative one, such as the renewal of a solitary walk in the forest. The key is to wash away old accretions in order to be born afresh.

Mem invites us to examine ourselves and see what is not flowing in accord with our deepest desires, and then to reaffirm our intention to live in accord with these desires. Mem’s purifying influence inspires us to embody more fully and consistently the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. As we express compassion, kindness, patience, we harmonize with the mothering energy of Mem.

, Miriam, whose name begins and ends with Mem, embodies many qualities of this letter. Miriam helps save her baby brother, Moses, when he is cast into the river to avoid Pharaoh’s decree that all Hebrew boy babies must be killed. She is also a noted midwife. After passing through the waters of the Red Sea, Miriam leads the Hebrew women in song and dance. The water from Miriam’s well, and the manna (another Mem word), enable the Hebrews to survive during their forty years of wandering in the desert.

Selecting Mem may also indicate a time to refresh the flow of currency through one’s life. If money and sustenance do not seem to be circulating adequately for us, what can we do to un-dam the current and let it flow more fully and freely down from the holy mountains where the snows of abundance gather?

One practical strategy for increasing the flow of abundance in our lives is to remember to be grateful. Mem as the letter, the sign, of Miriam, leads us to sing and praise the holy mystery for our survival up to this point. We’ve made it through some deep waters. Our struggles aren’t over yet, but we’re still alive! Mem also reminds us that deep wells exist of which we may not be aware. Hidden, ancient underground streams fill these wells. When we find them and dip our buckets, we tap into those deep currents of life. The old, old flow of mayim chayim then sustains us even as we proceed through the midbar, the wilderness and the desert.

Mem’s Shadow

The Torah speaks not just of mayim chayim, but of “evil waters” that symbolize destructive or hurtful passions. Torrents of feelings may overwhelm us, washing away a sense of right and wrong. We may be flooded by big emotions. The challenge of Mem is to swim in the watery realms of emotion without drowning in them, and without losing sight of the solid ground of morality.

Another danger of Mem is to hang onto our sorrow as a mark of honor or a source of identity instead of releasing our tears and metabolizing them into some form of creativity as an offering to the earth and to the Holy. When we can offer up and transform our tears in this way, they nurture new life and prepare the ground for new blessings to grow.

Personal Comments

I’m in a Lakota sweat lodge. Pitch black. Extraordinarily hot. Sweat is streaming off me onto the cedar shavings covering the ground. Although all the ceremonial songs up to that point have been in the Lakota language, the leader surprisingly begins a song in English and Hebrew. “Draw water in joy from the living well. Draw water in joy from the living well. Mayim chayim, waters of life, shalom.”⁶

How strange and beautiful to hear the Hebrew words from Isaiah in this Native American context. When the door of the lodge opens at the end of that prayer round, a bucket of water is brought in. Before we each drink a dipper of the precious water of life, the leader pours a little of it onto the hot rocks in the center of the lodge as an offering. “Mini wakan,” he says in Lakota, “Mini wa chozen.” “Water is sacred, water is life.” After being so hot and sweating so much, we draw the water out of the bucket and drink it with joy indeed. The leader teaches that water is medicine; it is holy. To my thirsty and sweaty body at that moment, this is obvious and delightful fact, not just theory or fancy sentiment.

Out in the world, the letter Mem continues to remind me mini wakan, mini wa chozen. , Mayim kadosh, mayim chayim. Water is sacred, water is life.

 

Summary for Mem

Numerical value:	40
Meanings:	Water. Womb. Mercy.
Application:	Express compassion.
	Let tears flow and let sorrow be metabolized into creativity.
	Aspire to be fluid and flexible.
Shadow:	Becoming flooded by destructive passions.
	Drowning in sorrow.
Reflection:	Are there places in my emotional life where I am stuck, where there’s a logjam? What are some ways I can free my emotions to flow more fluidly?
Suggested action:	Within the next seven days, experience some type of mikveh. This could range from a full-fledged formal mikveh to a quick dip in a stream or lake or even your own bathtub. Most important is to have an intention of purification as you immerse yourself. Afterwards, enjoy a simple cup of water.