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Lilly glanced around the empty quad where she’d spent the night.
She stirred the oatmeal laced with maple sugar and butter in the middle of the bright orange place mat, then sampled less than a teaspoon. Cardboard. Maybe her taste buds hadn’t awakened yet. But they would’ve had to sleep in order to wake up. Perhaps they were as exhausted as she.
Her head still reeled with everything that had happened last night. She’d spent hours mulling over her situation, Brighton, their sons, his new wife and new life. Lilly’s future wove through every thought. By three, she’d vented all her anger and had paced miles around the quad by the light of the moon once the pool lights automatically shut off at midnight.
She’d finally decided to resume her original path of rebuilding her self-esteem and let life happen. She’d have to deal with he-who-would-not-be-named-once-again until Greyson was eighteen years old, so she’d better get used to his unwanted calls and outrageous demands. Next time she’d handle it better, with a few demands of her own.
That course resolved, she’d moved on.
Josh. What the hell was she doing with him? They had just met and she’d allowed the man to strip her...in the quad...where any member of her growing family could have walked in on them. Around four, she’d realized the danger had actually amped her sexual excitement.
Her ex had adhered to antiquated rules of public displays of affection. He’d touched her back as they entered and exited venues, held her hand occasionally to assist her in and out of a vehicle and rarely kissed her unless they were behind a locked door. He’d held her six inches away as they danced, to slow songs only, and had adamantly refused to go to her cousin Kuk’s night club. For far too many years, she’d stayed away.
Lilly had loved the way Josh had held her as they’d danced at Mayan Nites. And when she’d lost her usually controlled demeanor over a whale shark, he’d ignored her family and held her to his warm body, rubbing her back. Damn, that had felt wonderful. It had been ages since a man, other than her brothers, had comforted her like that.
Several times through the night, she’d tried to head to bed, but she couldn’t force herself to the seclusion of her dark, oppressive bedroom. It reminded her too much of her previous life. Thank God that would change today.
A local charity was scheduled for nine to remove all the furniture, and the painters were expected around noon. Tomorrow, her new bedroom set—a tall, white wicker with a huge oval in the middle of the headboard and matching dressers—would arrive along with the whitewashed coffee table and two matching end tables. The two overstuffed chairs and coordinating love seat she selected for the sitting area, predominantly aqua, blended so well with the picture that would remain in place. A splash of orange in the throw pillows and throughout the entire room was the perfect touch. Zal was a genius.
What Lilly had thought was a whim the day before in the furniture store, she now realized was her subconscious predicting her future. She’d ordered a beautiful hand-carved desk in white and an ergonomic chair. Sometime in the long night, she’d decided to spend most of the summer in Cancun, telecommuting to work and enjoying her sons.
Around five o’clock, she’d abandoned the idea of sleep and dressed for her morning yoga practice. Unfortunately, even that hadn’t cleared her mind as usual. Unable to fully concentrate, she’d cut it short.
After showering, she’d thrown on another sundress and invaded the sanctity of the kitchen in search of much-needed coffee.
“Querida, I make you an omelet.” Mateo had opened the fridge and started pulling out food. “You still too thin. Men like women with a little meat on their bones.”
“Not all men,” Lilly countered.
“Your ex, he not a man. Him a bully.” Mateo laughed and his large belly shook. “He full of mierda de toro.”
Shocked because the family cook had never sworn in front of her before, she had to agree that he was full of bull shit. “Oh, Mateo, I love you.”
“Don’t tell my wife,” he stared at her with big eyes. “She’s very jealous woman and the kitchen knives at home are as sharp as the ones I keep here.”
Lilly corrected her sentence, “Okay then, I love you like an uncle. Usted es la familia.” Mateo was family as far as she was concerned. The man had been in her life for over thirty years.
“Take the oatmeal to outside dining area, and I’ll bring to you best omelet you ever had. Your momma find you in here, we both pay.” It was his way of forcing her to face the morning.
Jack, along with Jillian and Addison, appeared from the pool house at the same time her boys arrived in swim trunks and t-shirts.
“Ready to swim?” Greyson asked Addi as the boys settled on either side of Lilly.
“Momma says we gotta eat breakfast first and let it set before we swim,” Addison replied. “But then we can play in the pool.” Jack slid the little girl into the high chair and he and Jillian each took a side, passing the coffee pot between them.
Lilly poured juice for her boys, but Greyson protested. “I don’t like orange juice.” Too tired to argue, she downed the cold citrus and set the empty glass in front of her youngest son.
“Morning, sis.” Jack gestured to the coffee carafe but Lilly lifted the full cup she’d nabbed from the kitchen. “You’re up early.” He took a good look at her. “You look like shit. What happened?”
“Please watch your language.” Jillian looked at Lilly. “Rough night? Want me to watch the boys for a little while this morning?”
Normally, Lilly would have also commented on her brother’s swearing but the slide of the large glass door to his old bedroom stole her attention...and any words she could manage to say.
Josh stepped into the quad in a custom tailored charcoal suit, expertly cut to mold his broad shoulders and narrow waist. A silver gray dress shirt brought out the gray at his temples and a deep blue tie matched his eyes. He seemed at ease in what might be considered overdressed in this part of the world, but he wore it as the mantle of authority. While Lilly dealt with men in suits every day, she’d never thought of a suit as sexy. Until now.
“Sorry I’m late.” Josh slid into the empty seat beside Jack, across from Lilly.
Jack quirked his brow. “I know mother can be a little pompous at times, but here in Cancun we don’t require suits at breakfast,” Jack chided. “We don’t even encourage wearing a suit, ever. What’s up?”
“This is a working vacation,” Josh replied. “I have to go play nice with the Policía Federal Ministerial, the Mexican version of the FBI. Special Agent Edgar Chel is picking me up in about fifteen minutes. He seemed to know where you lived. Is he another cousin?”
“Yes.” Jack smiled. “So little Eddie is coming by. I haven’t seen him since the New Year’s Eve party.”
Mother Girard took her seat at the end if the table. “It’ll be nice to see young Edgar again.”
“Mother, Ed and I are the same age.” Levi poured her a cup of coffee. “So if he’s young, so am I.”
“Of course, you’re young,” she insisted. “But you need to work harder on finding a woman and settling down. Your father and I already had four children by the time we were your age.”
“Let me get my violin.” Levi pretended to play the instrument as he walked to his seat at the other end of the table. “Not going there, Mom, least of all before I’ve had my second cup of coffee.”
“The right woman is out there,” the elder Girard stated. “You just have to look harder.”
“I guarantee I’m working hard at trying them all out.” Levi’s smirk wasn’t missed by any adult at the table, including their mother.
Calita and Mateo arrived carrying large trays full of breakfast plates and began distributing food around the table. The cook removed Lilly’s now-cold, barely touched oatmeal and replaced it with an omelet, stuffed with mouthwatering ham and cheddar cheese oozing from its fold with fresh tomatoes chopped on top, just the way she liked. He gave her boys smaller cheese omelets and silver dollar pancakes with dollops of whipped cream and cherries for eyes and a row of chocolate chips turned up in a smile instead of the toast on her plate.
“Lilly, are you ill?” her mother asked as she nodded yes to Jack’s unspoken question of a coffee refill. “Should I call Dr. Stan? He’d come to the house if you don’t want to go to his clinic.”
Her mother’s maternal gaze bore down on her. She would always be a child to her mother.
No. Thank. You. Stan was the last man she wanted to see. He’d been her rebound man who turned out to be another cheating doctor, but she had been the other woman. She hated him for his deception. “No need, Mom. I’m fine.” Lilly glanced away then back at her mother and saw the true concern. “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” At all, but she wasn’t going to admit that to anyone.
Josh stared at her from across the table. His head nodded slightly as though encouraging her to tell her family about the phone call that had her so upset.
“Brighton called last night—”
“Dad called?” Preston’s excited tone made Lilly even more irritated with his father, who hadn’t shown the slightest interest in talking with his son during the call. “Why didn’t you wake us up?”
Lilly took a deep breath and ignored the question. She looked around at each waiting face. When she reached Josh, he gave her a small smile of reassurance.
She looked at her boys, one on each side of her. “Your father wants you in Cozumel for his wedding. Tomorrow.”
“Cool,” Greyson exuded enthusiasm. “We get to be in two weddings in one week.”
Preston didn’t look as thrilled. “That will be nice.” He stuffed a piece of pancake into his mouth.
Levi burst out. “He expects you to drop everything you’re doing and take the boys over to the island and what...” Anger seethed in every word he snarled. “You’re just supposed to hang out and wait for them?”
Her mother interrupted, incredulity written all over her face. “He doesn’t expect you at the wedding?”
“No. No.” Lilly went on to explain the arrangements involving her former mother-in-law flying in. She hoped Betsy Carlisle would call her soon with more details. “But I do need to take the boys into Cancun this morning and buy them...uh hem...” She gave the others at the table a get-this look. “Pink. Long-sleeved. Button-down, collared shirts.”
Preston’s big eyes stared at her. “I have to wear pink, like a girl?”
“Yes, and we need to buy new shoes since I left your brown dress shoes at home.”
“I have brown flip flops,” Greyson said as if he had the answer. He stuffed a huge piece of fruit into his mouth, a drizzle sneaking out at the side as he tried to chew.
Lilly couldn’t hold back the snicker at the fit their father would throw at that suggestion. She ruffled the boy’s constantly disheveled hair and kissed his forehead.
“Mom.” It was a dragged out word of protest the way Greyson said it. “I’m eating.”
God, thank you for my boys. It was a silent prayer she’d said many times since she’d filed for divorce.
“But the good news is you get to hang out with Grandma Betsy for the day.” Lilly tried to sound upbeat about the prospect. Back in Chicago, they’d seen her more often lately than their truant father.
“That’ll be cool,” Preston commented and peeled a banana.
Jaw open, showing everyone at the table the remaining food in his mouth, Greyson mewled, “You’re not going with us?”
“No, son.” Lilly forced a smile.
Greyson’s young age showing, he asked, “Then who’s Dad going to marry?”
A fist grabbed her heart and squeezed it so tight she wasn’t sure she could talk. Her gaze swept the table in apology, but no one seemed to need her unspoken words as she mouthed, I’m sorry. “Greyson, we talked about this. Remember?” she choked out.
Preston looked around Lilly at his brother. “Now we’re just like all the other kids at school, with two moms and two dads. Well, someday we’ll get a new dad. And we’ll get—”
The boys finished in unison, “Twice as many presents at Christmas!” Their smiles told the story of their wishes and hopes.
Lilly wasn’t going to think about the two sets of parents. Her ex hadn’t allowed her to be a second mother to his two children with his first wife, although Lilly had been willing. He’d preferred to spend time alone with them, a few hours every other weekend, but never overnight at their house. They’d stay at his mother’s, and he’d visit them there.
That would be wonderful, in her opinion, if he’d continue that trend of visitation. She had no idea what kind of mother the very young ballerina her ex was marrying would make for her boys. In retrospect, he-who-had-stomped-on-her-heart hadn’t really spent much time with his other children over the years. She wondered if that was the fate of her own boys. She hoped not, especially for Preston who seemed to imitate his father in every way possible.
Greyson looked up at her. “Are each of us going to carry one ring, like in Uncle Jack’s wedding?”
Lilly tried to review the conversation they’d had last night and found herself looking across the table at Josh for help. All he did was shrug. She recalled her ex wanted all his children there. Something about pictures. Damn. She didn’t think he’d mentioned anything about the boys being in the wedding.
“I’m sorry, Greyson. I don’t know what plans your father has for the day,” Lilly admitted. “Maybe Grandma Betsy knows. She’ll be calling today to let us know about her flight and what time she, Kalista, and Dalton are arriving.”
“Who are they?” the boys asked at the same time.
Gut punched with the realization of what would most likely be their appalling future, she told them the truth about the two other children they’d never met, and probably should have. “They are your half-brother and half-sister.”
Why hadn’t she told her boys about their siblings before? She was a terrible mother. On the other hand, it had never come up before. And the boys were so young. She hadn’t been a mother of any kind to Kalista and Dalton. She’d only met his other children on two occasions, to drop off Christmas presents a few years ago at his mother’s house and...at their wedding. When Dalton was four and Kalista was seven years old. They had looked so small and young sitting next to his mother in the pew opposite the one her parents and family had filled. He’d insisted on a few pictures with the four of them, but he’d only asked for one of those to be printed, for his desk at the clinic.
Pictures of the two of them and the boys in various stages of life reigned over his study at home in Chicago. Another room that needed overhauling. She’d get to that one next week when they were back home.
Son of a bitch. Her mind instantly went to the divorce agreement and how he hadn’t pressed for the usual fifty percent shared custody. He had visitation by agreement and every other major holiday. Looking back over their years together, she realized he’d spent every holiday with her and the boys. He would slip away to his mother’s for a few hours, but had been home when the boys opened Christmas presents first thing in the morning, hunted Easter eggs, and he’d never taken a vacation with just his other children, nor had they ever joined their family. So when did he see his older children?
Almost never.
Anger warred with the truth of her boys’ future.
No. She would not tolerate he-who-was-truly-a-fucking-bastard forgetting about their boys. Her sons. She would force him to see them regularly. Make him be the father they deserved. He had poked the sleeping tiger and had better watch out because she had claws.
“Are they going to live with us now?” Greyson asked.
“Certainly not,” her mother interjected. “After this wedding ordeal tomorrow, they’ll go back to wherever they’re from, and you boys will come back here and play in the pool, at the beach—”
“And we’ll go out in the boat,” Jack added with a big smile.
“You’re going to bring the jet boat here?” Preston sounded excited.
“You bet.” He looked at Lilly for permission.
She gave him a smile for all he did for her. “Thank you, Jack.”
“Speaking of boats,” Jack stood and kissed Addison on the head. “I have to captain today. Seems Rock Star isn’t feeling well.”
“Does that happen often?” Josh asked.
“A little too often lately.” Jack sighed. “He plays at some of the local clubs at night, and I’m afraid he suffers from brown bottle flu the next morning.”
Josh seemed to consider Jack’s opinion for a long minute. “Things are not always what they seem.”
“Yeah.” Regret filled Jack’s single word. “That’s what I’m afraid of. He’s been showing signs of PTSD lately. Seems over-aware, almost like he was back in theater. I don’t think he’s sleeping much.”
“Want me to talk to him?” Josh offered.
“That would be appreciated. Maybe you can get through to him.” Jack shook his head. “The man is keeping too many secrets.”
“I’ll give him a call and see if we can get a cup of coffee together sometime soon.”
“Thanks, Josh.” Jack moved next to Jillian and pulled her out of her chair for a long, sultry kiss. “I’ll see my girls later when I bring the boat back. Love you.” He gave her another quick kiss.
“Love you, too, Daddy.” Addison puckered her lips.
“I’ll never get tired of hearing that.” He bent and kissed her heart-shaped lips with a smack. “Gotta run. Josh, play nice with the locals.”
He jogged toward the garage and met Edgar Chel on his way in.
“No need to leave on my account, cuz. I’m not here to arrest you.” Ed and Jack did one of those complicated fist bump, one-armed manly back beating hugs.
“Sorry but I’m running late. On a boat today,” Jack said with a backward wave.
Josh stood, laid his cloth napkin on the table next to his plate, and moved to greet Ed. “Josh Madden, U.S. Homeland Security. Thanks for the ride to the meeting.”
Ed continued to move toward the table in a tough-guy swagger he earned every day taking down Mexico’s worst criminals. “Came early to see if I could talk Mother Girard into sharing some of Mateo’s fantastic cooking.” He kissed the matriarch on the cheek, and she patted his large bicep hidden under the long-sleeved black shirt. The stars of his high rank gleamed in the morning sun on the shoulder epaulettes.
“Come sit. Plenty of food left.” She gestured to the empty place setting. “You remember my daughter-in-law Jillian and granddaughter Addison.”
“Of course. I’m looking forward to the wedding on Saturday.” Ed smiled then nodded as he greeted everyone else by name. “Good morning.”
Mateo materialized with an omelet filled with peppers and sausage covered with salsa, then handed Ed a bottle of green heat.
“I knew you’d make my morning great, primo.” Ed dug into the thickest part of the omelet and shoveled the gooey mess into his mouth. With a moan, he chewed.
“You should save those sounds for your woman,” Mateo kidded the younger man.
“My woman doesn’t feed me like this.” With his second forkful halfway to his mouth, he lowered his voice, “I’m the one who makes my wife do all the moaning.”
“I heard that,” Mother Girard warned from two seats away. “Let’s hope the children at the table didn’t.”
“My apologies, abuelita.” She wasn’t Ed’s grandmother but it was very appropriate for him to call her little grandmother. In the Chel family, respect of one's elders was instilled from birth.
“Can we go swimming now?” Greyson blurted out.
“Swim. Now. Please.” Addi bounced in her chair begging her mother.
“Why don’t all you kids come with me and play in the pool house?” Jillian looked at Lilly for permission. “I have a little work to do, and they can play in Addi’s room for an hour, then I’ll let them swim. You can try to sneak in a morning nap.”
Lilly loved her sister-in-law more and more every day. Not only was she intelligent, she was intuitive. “Sounds wonderful. I think I’ll try to catch a short one under the palapa.” She couldn’t eat another bite if she had to.
“Come on, boys.” Jillian lifted Addison from the high chair.
Lilly sauntered toward the beach access next to the pool house. She started to match her breathing to the sound of the waves.
Before she was out of sight and earshot, Josh stood. “Excuse me. I think I’ll ask Lilly to pick something up for me while she’s shopping.” His long stride caught up to her quickly, but she was nearly to the path around the low dunes.
“Lilly.” Her name in his low tone shot straight through her and heated everything he’d touched the night before. Her nipples went hard and desire kindled.
She stopped and faced him. “Yes.” The word was husky.
“Did you sleep at all last night? And don’t lie. I’ll know.” Josh’s eyes were intense as he examined every inch of her face.
“No.” She drooped her shoulders.
“Was it your ex or my offer?”
“Both.”
The corners of Josh’s mouth twitched. Damn, what a mouth. Those full lips that had tasted so good last night made her want to pull him to her and sample them again. The soft kisses down her neck, then as he took her breasts into his mouth—God she wanted that again. And more. She could imagine his kisses all over her body. He’d run his tongue down her torso and not stop until he licked—
“I’ll give you that fantasy and more.” Josh’s words jolted her back to reality.
With an air of indignation she didn’t feel, Lilly asked, “What are you talking about?”
“Tonight, if you want.”
How could he have known what she’d been thinking? Flustered, she mumbled, “What? Did I—”
“No.” He smiled at her. “You didn’t have to.” His gaze dropped to her betraying nipples.
Well, damn her body for wanting a man so much. Needing what he could give her.
“Come see me tonight.” He looked at his watch then over his shoulder where her mother, Levi, and Ed where chatting. “And I’ll make you come so hard...you’ll sleep until noon tomorrow.”