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As the dive boat smoothly slid over the short chop on the way to Isla Mujeres, Lilly couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the BCD that had been hers since she was a teen. The last time she’d worn it...the accident had happened.
“You can do this, you know.” Josh had said almost those same words in her room before he had to leave to help Jack get the boat ready. She wanted to ask him now about his conversation with Preston but didn’t want to embarrass her son since he was only a few feet away chatting with his grandmother who had decided to come at the last minute.
Lilly needed to face her fear, and she knew it. The tiny lung embolism had been a one-time occurrence and would most likely never happen again, unless she was stupid enough to let something scare her into ascending too fast. Only a small bubble of air had forced its way through the lining of her lung taking less than a few drops of blood with it. She’d bled more from a kitchen cut.
The hyperbaric chamber had been a precaution, not a necessity. Gramps had stayed with her, by her side, to reassure her throughout the hours of decompression. Although the chamber had been small, the process wasn’t bad. It had actually been boring. She might have gone to sleep if Gramps hadn’t been there talking the entire time.
Compared to everything else she’d been through since then, that was a bump in the road that she’s built into a mountain in her mind. She’d been through childbirth twice, all the fears while Greyson had heart surgery as an infant, a cheating husband, and a divorce. Hell, a few hours in the chamber was nothing. She needed to retake that part of her life, too. Physically she was in great shape. The fear was just in her mind. It wasn’t real.
Then why was her heart beating so loud? Why couldn’t she seem to get enough air in her lungs?
“Yes, I can do this,” she told herself in encouragement as much as reassurance.
Everyone slid into their gear as though they did it every day. Jack adjusted the straps of one of the guest wives because he didn’t like the way her BCD fit. Stacie was in cruise director mode, helping where she could, or joking with the guests making sure she spoke with each and every one of them. Lilly was sad to lose her as an employee of their new cruise line. She’d grown to like the woman and secretly wanted to quiz her about Josh. There seemed to be so much more to this man that she wanted to know.
Lilly’s mom helped the boys into their life vests, flippers and masks then followed the divers onto the platform and into the water. The boys were fearless little water bugs. Lilly couldn’t look like a coward and stay in the boat, not now. She picked up her gear and struggled into a rash shirt.
Josh pulled Lilly off to the side where no one could see them and kissed her. “I’m so fucking proud of you. Let’s do this.” He helped her into her dive gear.
When he hooked in her tank, she had a moment of mild trepidation but as soon as she put her regulator into her mouth and tested a few breaths, her breathing settled. She could do this.
“Do you wear a knife?”
“No.” She admitted. “I haven’t a clue where mine is. I’ll be fine without it.”
“I’ve got you covered. Then let’s go.” Josh helped her to the dive platform. “Ready?”
No. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” She took Josh’s hand and together they leaped into the water. As they descended down, she had a second or two of anxiousness, but she remembered her yoga breathing and drew in a cleansing breath. Exhaling slowly, she took in her surroundings. A school of young yellow jacks passed fifteen feet away.
That was it. She’d forgotten the wonders of the underwater world. Missed it. She turned her head to look at Josh. He had a graceful stroke that powered him quickly through the crystal clear water. He pointed at a foot-long parrotfish slaloming though a forest of yellowish-green elkhorn coral. He signaled for her to follow as they swam toward the reef where purple fans waved at them and brain coral dotted the bottom of the ocean.
She loved this. And was so glad Josh had given this part of her life back. He’d given her so much, and she’d given him nothing except her body. That would need to change.