Aunt Theresa wasn’t impressed.
“It’s not the kind of money I once made, but now I know what to do with it. Maybe this is God’s way of bringing Brianna and me back together.”
Craig’s aunt didn’t give him the reassurance he expected when he told her about the possibility of another offer and the interest of Arman Gunter.
“Sounds like a wrestling match to me,” his aunt said, in a tone that drove Craig crazy.
Huh?
“There’s a blessing on the way, that’s for sure. Sometimes, though, you have to do like Jacob and wrestle God to get it. It might leave you wounded.” She touched Craig’s knee. “But in the end, you get a new name and sometimes a new nation. Jacob went from a joker to becoming Israel, the nation of the King. Who do you want to be?”
“Brianna’s husband,” Craig whispered as he walks away. He’d taken his marriage for granted for so many years, trusting that as he and Brianna agreed, they’d always be together, no matter what he did. Now he knew that real love was more than just survival or endurance. It also meant sacrifice.
He checked his e-mail and text in-box. Still nothing from Brianna. It was time to take a ride.
A friend to whom he’d loaned a Porsche and forgotten about it had driven the car down a few days before. He left his aunt a note, loaded up the car, and headed for Atlanta, praying all the way.
Though his knee made the drive a little uncomfortable, Craig still made it to Atlanta in good time. When he pulled onto his old street, though, he noticed a black Mercedes in his drive. He could read the tag from where he was:
T-RUE 52
Terrell Rue. So they were together after all. Craig began to back up, but he couldn’t escape Brianna and Terrell coming out of the house hand-in-hand. If seeing his wife on the arm of the former Hall of Famer wasn’t enough, what he saw as they ascended the steps stopped Craig cold. He put his foot on the brake and leaned forward to be sure.
She’s pregnant. Not very far along, but definitely pregnant.
He could tell from the sway of Brianna’s back as she climbed the steps, the subtle fullness of her face. She’d looked this way only once before, when they were both too young to handle it. Craig had let other people influence him then. They’d convinced him to go off to college without her. She lost the baby alone. It had haunted him every day until he saw her that night in Dallas when he’d stolen her from Terrell. Now it seemed that the guy had pulled an interception of his own.
“I was surprised to hear from you, but now I’m glad. I really had a wonderful evening.” Brianna pulled her hand back from Terrell’s gentle touch. She didn’t sense any desire in it, but she wanted to keep things clear just the same. She and Craig might be divorced, but she wasn’t about to become one of those groupie wives going from one player to another. At one time, that was all she could see for herself, but now she knew that God had other plans for her—with or without Craig.
“I was surprised to hear from you, too. I got a text from your phone saying you needed to speak to me, but the words were misspelled so I had my doubts. And yet, here you are. It seems someone wanted us to meet up.”
Brianna tried to contain herself as it all came together: the pictures that were sent to Craig, the text that was sent to her, and now the message to Terrell. All Asia. She was the worst speller Brianna knew. Could her friend be so desperate as to try to force Brianna and Terrell together in hopes of getting with Craig? Craig could barely stand to be in the same room with her.
“I think it might have been Asia.”
Terrell crossed his legs and took a sip of the water with lime Brianna had offered him. “That fits. Now you see why I never wanted her in my house. I don’t know why you persist in holding on to her.”
Because she held on to me. She was there when nobody else was, when everyone pushed me away.
“Old habits die hard,” Brianna said as her stomach did a flip-flop.
“Yes,” Terrell agreed. “So true. Did you enjoy church Sunday? I saw you there with Clare and her crew. Did they mention me? I think they knew that we used to date.”
Brianna ate a grape and prayed it would stay down. “Don’t overestimate yourself, Terrell. I doubt they care much about our past together. Your name didn’t come up at all.”
He nodded. “They’re sweet. That group. Especially that Clare. Some things have come out of late, and I’m afraid your name might have gotten stirred in the soup, as it were.”
Brianna was more than confused. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
Terrell smiled, showing all his gold teeth. “You wouldn’t. You never did. Let me spell it out for you, baby. The reason I treated you so bad while I was with you is because you were a cover…for my homosexuality.”
Brianna tried to swallow but couldn’t. Terrell had to pat her on the back so that she wouldn’t choke on the grape.
Once she caught her breath, Brianna gripped the table. “It was Mark, wasn’t it. That guy who was always with you?”
Terrell nodded. “Maybe the princess isn’t totally blind after all. God has brought me to a place of total deliverance but it’s important for me to be open and honest about who I was and where I’ve been. I’ve found that secrecy only places me at risk. It’s a hard thing for people to hear, that their hero wasn’t exactly who they thought he was, but hey, the truth is the truth. Clare was one of the first people I came out to. I told her about us.”
It all made sense now. “I can still hardly believe it, T. You’re so…fine. Even now. There never was anything sweet about you.”
“It’s complicated, and don’t look at me like that. Whatever we had between us wasn’t all a cover. Believe that. Now, tell me your secret. You’ve got one. I can see it all over you.”
“You’ve got to tell him.”
This time it wasn’t Terrell or her new girlfriends insisting, but Brianna’s new pastor, Dr. Lewiston.
“The rumor mills are already buzzing about you and Terrell, and soon enough they’ll figure out that you’re pregnant. Don’t put the man through that, dear. No matter what happens between the two of you, being a parent means putting yourself second. Put your child first. Tell the truth.”
The man spoke the truth. After spending some time staying at Terrell’s place to get her head together and focus on God’s Word, Brianna knew for sure that many of her marital problems with Craig sprang from what happened to them in high school. Craig going off to college on a football scholarship and leaving her behind carrying his child while the church and community denounced her as having trapped him left Brianna insecure and determined never to need anyone like that again.
Finally, Brianna forgave herself…and Craig. She saw them both for what they were—kids trying to make it. During a Sunday service at her new church, Brianna left her past at the altar once and for all. She stood up feeling different. Free. This time, she may be pregnant, but she would never be alone. God was with her.
Back in Tampa, Craig struggled to hold on to God. His pastor explained that Craig had the wrong problem.
“You don’t have to worry so much about holding on to the Lord. He’s holding on to you. The thing is, your hands are full of these burdens. Lay your worries down and you’ll be able to hold on all you like. You did it before. Just let go of all of it. Even your ex-wife.”
That was easier said than done, especially now that he knew Terrell Rue had his hands on her. Craig wanted to confide in Dante about this latest development with Terrell, but some things were too intimate to discuss. When it was all said and done, Terrell didn’t matter. Brianna being pregnant didn’t matter. What mattered was God and what He wanted Craig to do about all of it.
To make things worse, someone had overheard Aunt Theresa talking on the phone about Craig’s possible million-dollar contract. Everyone in the neighborhood was excited at the prospect of Craig helping out as he’d once done. Now they’d be able to finish the church on time, someone said.
Like there’s not enough pressure to deal with.
When Craig realized what people expected of him, he trained even harder. Maybe he’d never have the family he dreamed of with Brianna, but at least he could provide for the family of God. It seemed like the right thing to do, so why didn’t Craig have any peace about it? Craig shrugged and kept working hard. Going back to the league might not have been the best thing, but it was all Craig knew.
“They’re shaping up nicely,” Craig said as he watched his high school alma mater’s team go through preseason practice. Dante had done a great job with the kids at the school, and Craig had to admit, he enjoyed the work, too.
“Man, I don’t know why you don’t just commit to coaching. At least for a year. The kids love you. You love them. It would definitely help ticket sales and boosters. Are you still chasing this Arman Gunter thing? You know that guy has driven a lot of cats to the grave trying to juice a few more dollars out of them. I know your knee is feeling good, man, but think about what league play is really like. Nothing you’ve done here in rehab compares.”
Craig turned over the lottery ticket in his pocket. He’d bought it for Tenisha’s mother, but it had become sort of a joke, a metaphor for his life right now. On one side was smudged lipstick and on the other the chance—but not a guarantee—of winning millions.
“I don’t know, man. I’m praying and getting ready for whatever. That’s all I can say. And while I’m here, I’m going to give you and these kids everything I’ve got. I hope that’s enough right now, because it’s all I’ve got.”
Dante held out a fist, and Craig pounded it with his own.
“It’s enough, man. It’s enough. What do you make of that one there?” Dante said, pointing to the fastest boy on the team. He was cocky and sullen with all of the physical skills he would need in the pros, but few of the social ones. He reminded Craig of himself.
“He’s good, but he’s got a bad attitude. I see that you gave him my number.”
Dante laughed. “I thought you’d get a kick out of it. I did. That boy makes me crazy, but he can run like the wind. He likes you, you know. He’s always watching you.”
“I know, but when I try to talk to him he blows me off. What’s his real story, D? What’s he so mad about?”
Dante put a hand up to shield his eyes. “Bring the ball to your chest! Protect it! Run that again.” He took a deep sigh and turned back to Craig. “He’s got your number, man. Figure it out.”
It didn’t take long for Craig to do just that. “Where is she?”
Dante pointed behind them without turning around. “Back there under that willow or on the bottom row of the bleachers.”
Craig turned. She was taller than Brianna but had that same look that dared anybody to come between her and what was hers. She sat on the bleachers with a book propped on her belly, looking straight back at Craig. Straight through him.
“When’s she due?”
“Soon,” Dante said. “He’s not claiming it, though. He’s not saying anything. Lots of scouts hanging around him.
“Don’t tell me. Your advice?”
Dante shook his head. “Nope. I learned better than to advise from dealing with you. I think he’s coming up with this stuff on his own.”
“Call him over. I want to talk to him.”
Dante blew the whistle. “That’s it. Let’s break up into special teams. TreShard, go and take a run with Coach Richards and join us in a few.”
The boy stopped and stared at Craig for a moment before jogging over to join him. Like most kids these days, he wasn’t dumb. He knew what was coming. And by the look on his face, he was prepared to fend off anything Craig had to say.
Craig swallowed hard and flipped the lottery ticket in his pocket one last time before starting to jog beside the boy. A year of football could bring Craig a million dollars, but how much was it worth to make the difference in one boy’s life? To make a difference for one family?
They went an entire mile in silence before Craig started the conversation they’d both known was coming.
“So what are you going to name your baby?”
“I ain’t got no baby,” the boy said, keeping stride with Craig and barely breaking a sweat.
“That’s not what I heard, son.”
“Look, I’m not your son and it isn’t your business, okay? If you must know, I tried to be nice to that girl. When she first told me, I was even happy. Then she started getting all moody and crazy, telling me I can’t leave without marrying her and taking her with me. I’m too young for all that. I figure I’ll do what you did and just bounce.”
Craig forced himself to keep running. “What?”
“Did you think I didn’t know? Man, we all know. Your girl got pregnant, too, and you left her so you could get ahead. And it worked, right? You ended up married to her anyway. So I figure I’ll do that, too. Maybe my girl will lose her baby, too, and we won’t have to worry about it.”
Before Craig realized it, he had the boy’s shirt gathered in his hand and the kid was two feet in the air.
“Boy, don’t you ever say anything like that again, do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I made a mistake, one I’ll always have to live with. You have a chance to have a different life. Now, you weren’t saying all this when you were laying down with the girl. It was all good then, wasn’t it?” Craig said as he lowered TreShard back to the ground.
“Hmph. Better than good. I love that girl, man. She knows it.”
“Show her. Do what you have to do. I might not be your daddy, but you’re going to think I am if you don’t straighten up and act a little better about your business. This isn’t the end of the world. It can work. Nobody told me that then. There were plenty of guys in your situation who went on to be great. And they didn’t have to stand before some kid on a track ashamed because they didn’t do what they should have.”
TreShard looked over to the bleachers where his girlfriend sat studying and then back at Craig. “Man, whatever. By the time that baby comes, you won’t even be here. You might have the rest of them fooled, but not me. You’re all about the dollars. Always have been. And I ain’t mad at you for it. Just don’t block my way. I’m trying to get in there and take your spot.”
A sudden rain ended practice for everyone but Craig. Though his knee was screaming in pain, the young boy’s words were a fresher hurt, cutting all the way to the bone. He’d never thought about all those little boys watching him run down the field, boys who wanted to be like him in every way. Boys who thought that walking away meant being a man.
Boys God had sent Craig home for.