CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

 

The scent of gun oil permeated the air as Jax finished cleaning his .38 caliber revolver and reassembled it. He checked the grip and appreciated how the solid weight had remained dependable throughout his life. It would fire in anything. Sand. Dirt. He trusted that gun and could recall the first time he picked it up. That cold metal still felt the same some twenty years later.

As Jax was sighting the gun, Winters walked into the storage locker, and Jax dropped it down. "Hey, man. Wanna go over to the range?"

There had been a subtle change in the last few weeks since the Vegas conversation with Jared, and Jax didn't think Jared had said anything to the team or that his own attitude had changed. Still, there had been a shift in perspective after news had quietly gotten out about his background and how he'd almost lost those he most cared for.

Or did lose. But Seven was still breathing, and they were still married so he didn't know what to think.

"I was on my way up to ask you the same thing, but Brock caught me. He wants to talk to you and said to head over his way."

Jax nodded, unsure what that was about, but he stored his weapon in a locker and washed his hands then made his way to where he knew Brock was working.

After a quick knock, Jax walked into a smaller conference room and saw the pile of papers surrounded by multiple cups of coffee that kept his boss going.

"Winters said you were looking for me."

"Actually, we're playing a game of messenger. Head on down to the war room."

Jax pursed his lips together and thought better of asking Brock why when there were four empty cups of caffeine and two weeks' worth of paperwork in front of him. "Will do."

After a few twists and turns through Titan security, including a retina scan, a thumbprint, then a swipe of his ID badge, Jax reached the other side of headquarters and walked into the war room.

Or rather, walked into an empty room.

No signs of life. No cups of coffee. No sign of Boss Man's bulldog. Jax decided to take a seat and give Jared or Parker a minute to show up before texting Brock and—

The door opened with Seven clinging to its handle.

"Seven." He hit his feet as his heart jumped. "I had no idea you were here."

"I was." She pointed toward the hall. "But I went to the bathroom. Now here you are."

Seven crept into the war room but still hadn't let go of the door handle, and Jax wanted to take her in his arms and just hang on, but the last time he'd seen her… Not a great moment. She had trapped him in here with her divorce papers and excuses. Sucks…

Even still, he'd never needed to kiss a woman as badly as he did at that moment. "Do you want to come in?"

Nodding, she finally let go, and the door drifted shut. The click echoed around them. She didn't move to a chair, instead hovering in the open space. He watched intently, trying to figure out why she was at Titan headquarters. "Everything okay?"

"Yes."

"I give up, Seven. Just tell me why you're here."

She squeezed her eyes tight and dropped her chin, and with that painful look, his soul fell too. The day of divorce papers. Damn it.

"Jax, I don't know if you can ever forgive me."

He didn't want to hear a speech; he didn't want to hear any of this.

"But…" Her voice cracked.

"But…" he repeated and reached for a defense of mock and retaliation. It wasn't there. He couldn't be an asshole, couldn't hurt her because he wished he had her as his wife.

Flinching, she waited for the verbal punch, but it never landed, and she met his eyes. "I don't know if… you can forgive me. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. I hurt you, us. And I probably will never be able to get that back." Tears spilled down her cheeks as he tried to make sense of what she was saying. "If you could ever forgive me—"

His brow furrowed as he replayed her words. The woman didn't take his calls or texts. "Stop." He swooped forward and pulled her soft body into his arms, exhaling with his smile buried against her hair. "Stop apologizing."

"It needs to be said." She sniffled. "I screwed up. I saw one thing that wasn't even there when it was just you wanting to be with me the whole time."

He squeezed her tight and rested his chin on top of her head. "A couple weeks ago, a great man who I thought never made mistakes showed me it's possible to have a filter over your eyes and not know it."

"What's that have to do with me?" Seven asked.

"Adelia and Victoria told me that your dad's back and how he got in your face, in your head."

Seven dropped her eyes as though she were hiding. "I can't believe they did that."

"I'm glad they did. It helped me understand more about you—and me. I had to forgive myself, princess."

"Why?"

"I couldn't save Carrie. I'm not God. It couldn't be done. But I had to forgive myself."

Seven inched back and tilted her face up. "That's different. I should've known better."

"Believe it or not, beautiful, I knew I wasn't God."

"I know my dad and the things he does. I should've seen it and changed courses. He'll never go away." She bit her lip. "He'll try again."

"Lean on me."

"You don't know what you're asking. That's a lot to say. I-I'm too much." She looked heartbroken and even disgusted. Jax didn't know if it was because of her family, her background, the things she couldn't control, or the decision she had made, but it did nothing except reaffirm everything he felt for her. "More than anything, I needed you to know how sorry I was."

He took a step back and ran his hands over her biceps, smoothing up and down. "You think you're too much?"

She snickered. "Yes, I think I'm too much."

"You are—for someone else. Those people? They aren't our people. And not the person you're supposed to be with, princess."

Her eyes rounded as though she were having a revelation.

"Seven." He let go of an arm and touched her chin. "I'm too much."

She laughed quietly. "No, you're not."

"There are many people who'd disagree with you on that. Trust me." He brushed her hair off her face and smoothed it behind her ears. "Come here, princess, I have something to tell you."

She inched closer. "What?"

"I love you, Seven."

"When I first met you, I had no idea that I'd get to say I love you too."