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Mairi ordered delivery pizzas for dinner, and when they arrived, the teenage boy opened a box lid and grinned at her. He’d scrawled the words Marry me instead of them on the card.
“Very funny.” She took the pizzas from him and slammed the door in his face.
“Another admirer?” Keir said from where he was lounging on the couch.
He hadn’t bothered to ask anyone if he was invited to dinner. He’d just walked up the stairs at the end of his workday and made himself comfortable on the couch. Strangely, it seemed perfectly normal to have him there.
“A joker.” Mairi handed the pizzas to Agnes, who put them on their coffee table.
They were gathered around the TV, waiting for the evening news. To irritate Keir, because she’d known there was no stopping him from coming upstairs after work, Mairi had changed into the cat suit. The hole was covered by a pair of cut-off jeans she’d pulled on over the suit, and on her head she wore a black headband, complete with cat ears. From the looks she was getting, Keir didn’t know if he was turned on at the sight, or deeply repelled by the fact she was wearing a costume another man had sent her. Mairi swung her hips and grinned. Driving Keir mad was a whole lot of fun.
“So, who gave you the costumes?” Keir said at last, and Mairi wondered if his tiny brain hurt from keeping the question trapped inside for so long.
She beamed at him from where she was grabbing napkins and plates from the kitchen. “The twins. I think it was Darius’ idea, because Damien would never have thought of it. Damien would probably have sent me a state-of-the-art pocket calculator. Although, I could be wrong. He does do all that sport stuff and has the abs of a god.” She gave Keir a wistful look, as though she deeply regretted not getting her hands on those abs. Which, to be honest, she kind of did.
Keir made a little growling sound and ripped his shirt off over his head. “You call those abs? These are abs.” He pointed at his flat, ripped stomach, just in case there was any confusion.
“Put your shirt back on,” Agnes snapped from her seat at the dining table. “The news is starting.”
Agnes turned up the volume as the evening news anchor started her intro, and a scowling Keir pulled his shirt back on. Mairi ambled over to stand beside the sofa, and Keir reached up, grabbed her wrist and pulled her down beside him. She frowned at him, but didn’t move away, which seemed to calm his jealous beast some.
“You might think that the Bachelor and Bachelorette series only happen on TV,” the news anchor said, “but in the small town of Arness, one local woman is living the premise without the cameras. Here’s our reporter with more.”
The female reporter Keir had barked at repeatedly, filled the screen. “I’m in Arness, in the Kintyre peninsula. Where twenty-three men have turned up from all over the world to try to win the hand of Mairi Sinclair, after she posted online that she was looking for a husband.
“The men are already known to Mairi, as they form part of the client list she has as an online girlfriend. Here to explain is one of Mairi’s boyfriends, Sebastian Mark.” She turned to a smiling Sebastian. “Tell us more about this online girlfriend arrangement you have with Mairi.”
While Sebastian explained, Mairi looked up at Keir. “I think this was taped before I said no to his website marriage proposal. Although, I don’t think he was heartbroken when he was rejected, either. I don’t think any of these guys really want to marry me, and I’m totally okay with that.”
“So am I,” he said darkly, proving the jealous beast was still lurking.
“As you can see,” the reporter said as the TV switched to a live shot of her outside the local shop, “the men are gearing up for another evening of stunts, in an attempt to attract the attention of Mairi Sinclair. In fact, one of the men has a special display for Mairi, which is starting as we speak. Mairi, if you’re watching, this is from Jonas.”
The camera swung to show the Wookiee on the grass verge at the edge of the cliff. He was lighting a huge fireworks display he’d set up, part of which was a massive wooden stand with fireworks strapped to it in the shape of letters. It was too dark to see what the letters spelled out, but it didn’t take a genius to work out it was another marriage proposal.
As the screen cut away from Arness, and the anchor continued with the rest of the news, Mairi rushed to the window. Fireworks filled the sky and dazzled everyone who watched them. But Mairi wasn’t watching the sky; she was watching the idiot Wookiee, who was standing far too close to the firework message he was about to light. With a squeal, she turned and ran for the door.
“What is it?” Keir called as he jumped up to follow.
“The Wookiee’s flammable,” Mairi shouted over her shoulder.
She flew down the stairs at the back of their building and ran through the crowd to get to Jonas. Keir sped up and ran in front of her, elbowing folk out of the way to clear a path for her. For once, Mairi wished she didn’t have such short legs and could run faster. Short but perfect legs, she mentally amended.
“He’s lighting the words,” Mairi shouted at Keir. “You have to stop him. He’s too close.”
Keir put on a burst of speed, but it was too late. The fireworks that made up the words sparked to life. The sparks caught the acrylic hair of the Wookiee costume. And Jonas went up in flames.
Mairi screamed. Keir didn’t hesitate. He tackled Jonas, taking him to the grass and rolling the big guy around like he was a toddler. The crowd went eerily silent as Mairi fell to her knees beside Jonas and Keir.
“Jonas?” She wasn’t sure where to touch him, but she wanted to pat him and let him know it would be okay. “Jonas, speak to me. How bad is it?”
“You,” Keir snapped at a guy beside him. “Call an ambulance.”
The guy hurried to do as he was told. Around them, people were too busy using their phones to video the disaster, to call for help. Mairi wanted to slap each and every one of them.
“Jonas, please talk to me.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
Huge chunks of the costume were black and melted, but his hands were still okay. So Mairi wrapped the nearest one tight in hers.
The Wookiee stirred. “Don’t cry,” came a very human voice from his hairy mouth.
“Once we get you checked out, I am going to shout at you for a week. What were you thinking?”
“Wasn’t,” he said.
“Leave the telling off for later,” Keir said softly as a siren was heard in the distance.
Behind him, the words Jonas had written blazed to life: Will You Marry Me?
“At last,” Mairi said as she wiped away the tears. “Someone who understands it’s a question.”
Around them, Mairi’s fake boyfriends gathered. They kept the crowd back, and they closed in around Jonas, offering support with their presence. When the ambulance arrived, Keir explained the situation to the accompanying police officer as Mairi stood silently weeping. This whole situation had gotten completely out of hand, and now someone was hurt.
“He’ll be okay,” Sebastian said, putting a hesitant hand on her shoulder.
Mairi turned to him and hugged him tight. Behind her, Amir rubbed her back and the twins came up beside them. Although she felt nothing romantic for her men, and she was equally sure they didn’t feel that way about her, it didn’t mean she didn’t care for them. They were like her pets. A whole heap of clueless puppies who needed her to survive the world.
“This has to stop,” Mairi said against Sebastian’s chest. “People are getting hurt.”
“Does she need chocolate?” Amir asked someone. “I can get her some.”
“I think she needs to cry,” Damien said. “I read about this—women like to get their emotions out. It’s good for them. If they don’t, they get blocked, or something.”
Mairi looked up in time to see Darius smack his brother across the back of his head. “Idiot,” he said.
It made Mairi smile through her tears. As she listened to the ambulance drive off, the group around her parted and Keir appeared. She didn’t know why she did it, but she turned from Sebastian’s arms and straight into his. He held her tight, as she’d known he would.
“He’s going to be fine.” Keir kissed the top of her head. “You want to go to the hospital?”
Mairi nodded against his chest.
“You guys coming?” Keir said to the other men.
“We’ll clean up here,” Darius said, “then we’ll come on over. Somebody needs to get rid of this crowd.”
“Haul in the cop,” Keir said. “He’s my cousin. He’ll help you clear the place out.”
“Your cousin?” Mairi looked up at him. How had she missed that news?
“Not one you know, big ears. I’ll introduce you later. Come on, let’s go see the Wookiee.”
“Wait,” Sebastian said. “Jonas won’t be comfortable without a costume to wear once he’s released from hospital. I don’t have anything that will fit him.” He looked at the other guys.
“I’ve got a Batman costume with me,” Damien said, making his brother groan. “He can have that.”
Sebastian let out a relieved sigh. “We’ll bring it with us when we come.”
As they walked away, with Mairi tucked under Keir’s arm, she looked at the sign that had almost killed Jonas.
“This has to end,” she told Keir.
“You know what to do,” he said. “One little announcement and this all goes away.”
For the first time since he’d offered to marry her, it didn’t seem like such a terrible idea. Not for her sake, she quickly told herself, but to end the hysteria. As she mulled it over, she let Keir fit a motorcycle helmet on her head, and then she climbed onto his bike behind him.
It was like coming home.