I don’t think I can finish today. God, my head hurts. They won’t notice if I fall back this one time.
Knock it off. You can do this. Just five more minutes. You can do anything for five minutes. Don’t look at the time. Keep going. Distract yourself…that’s what you need to do. Distraction…is a useful tool…remember that. Cal used it. Keep running…five more minutes. Distraction is the best thing ever. Keep going. I can do this. See…three more minutes. Three more minutes?
Ugh, God, my head. I might vomit. I’m probably going to vomit. My hip hurts. I’m damaging what little cartilage I have left for li...
Shut…up…look, two more minutes left. Almost there. You can do anything for two minutes…it’s just two minutes…okay, one and a half.
No one will notice if I start walking now.
Don’t even…
Step after step, Dane ran. She’d fallen behind a few of the others as the pounding in her head began to match her footfalls, and Matthew kept looking back at her with concern etched on his face. She’d caught him doing it twice already. That look of concern changed to disappointment in his eyes. It secretly drove her crazy. Mind your own business. The drinking, she had to admit, was taking a toll on her body. Vowing to cut back now, she knew she’d talk herself into it again when the sun went down and the memories began to intercede. Dane pushed on as the sun beat down on her head, burning her back as sweat trickled down her spine in a little itchy river.
Just a little farther. Keep going, dammit. Wimping out is not an option—ever. Distraction…is key. Distraction from pain…distraction for…pain.
And in her mind, she saw Cal and her hand crunching the side of his skull in. Then she flashed on last night, the guy on the screen trying to avoid the camera.
He was shy. He always had been but after that, after what he did, he could not avoid attention then. She was sure that wore on him. She hoped it did.
“Dane! You did it,” Matthew said just as his phone must have rung because he pulled the device and said in surprise, “This is Matt.” Rarely did they receive actual phone calls anymore. Texts were the norm, so this must have been important.
But Dane wasn’t paying attention to him. She was just past the finish line without even thinking about the pain she’d endured or if she could make it in the last seconds. Distractions…they were good for some things. A useful tool, she was finding.
While she was walking around to lower her heartrate gradually, Matthew caught up with her. When they were away from the others he whispered, “Hey, this is going to be hard to take. But I wanted to be the one to tell you. It seems Cal is doing fine despite your best efforts. That…sonofabitch is coming back.”
“What? I told you!” She could not have heard right! Perhaps it was the thrumming in her brain. That had to be it. “No, that can’t happen. Why aren’t they holding him? Hell, they should take him right to prison. Execute him…he’s a damn rapist.”
“I know. Calm down. He’s in a high need position just like the rest of us. They’re releasing him back to us, on probation with an ankle bracelet until the trial.”
Her hands were on her hips as she paced back and forth. Sweat dripped off her nose as the pounding in her skull increased. “When’s the trial set? Next year. That’s how they do this. That’s how he’ll get away with it. I told you, Matthew! I told you that night. I knew it.”
“I know…calm down.”
But she couldn’t calm down. Not after that. “He’s going to work with us, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Why would they do that? Putting him with us makes no sense. They know that I attacked him. Why not a different unit?”
“Dane, he never told them it was you who tried to cave his skull in. He’s denying he even touched Rebecca. Says it was a case of mistaken identity. That whoever it was assaulted Rebecca and when he came along, he tried to help her, though he doesn’t remember any of it.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. How does he explain my presence? They have his DNA, for God’s sake. They can prove he did it. Hell, they probably have mine all over his freaking head.”
Matthew nodded at her. “He claims he has no memory of anything. But until the DNA evidence implicates him, he stays with us.”
She raised her eyebrows as she leaned her hands against her knees. As if she wasn’t lightheaded before, she certainly was now. “This is insane. Just because he’s in a high need employment slot a rapist gets to walk around? I’m not surprised. I’ve seen this happen before. But who the hell is running things? He’s a predator on society.”
“He’s a predator with a good lawyer and a powerful family, apparently, in a time of crisis. I think his family is somewhat prominent in Washington State government. That’s probably why he’s here in the first place. They’re hiding him with us to keep him from embarrassing them. With all the crazy things going on right now…no one really cares.”
She started pacing again. “This is so wrong.”
He reached out then and stopped her, his hand on her sweaty shoulder. She pulled away from his touch and stared at him.
“I agree with you, Dane. I think he might get away with what he did to Rebecca. We can’t let that happen. I had to carry her in.” He shook his head, his eyes slits of anger. “You had the right idea the first time,” he said in a forced whisper. “There was a trail of blood dripping down my arm and onto the tiles of the hospital that night. What he did to her…what I saw, made me want to kill him myself. I held back. I shouldn’t have. I can see that now.”
There were no words after that statement. She just held Matthew’s stare for a moment, knowing what he implied.
As much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to appreciate Matthew. They were going to need a good distraction soon.